Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 10-minute teaching, Venerable Thubten Dondrub unpacks the fundamental Buddhist distinction between attachment and genuine love, using it as a lens to understand why we remain trapped in unhappiness. He argues that attachment keeps us chasing external sources of satisfaction because we feel empty inside, while true love — when developed — naturally extends to all beings rather than clinging obsessively to one person or family. He addresses a common objection: letting go of attachment feels impossible unless we first develop trust in our own inner qualities and know what will replace it. He then situates this teaching within the decline of genuine spiritual practice in modern religion, noting that Christianity’s monasteries once understood this path of renunciation but the knowledge is rarely taught today. The session concludes with a guided dedication of merit and a lunch break.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 04 Letting go of Attachment 1998 02 21.mp3
UUID: 85dd3f47-b362-4efe-a038-b4e33c604849
Teacher: Ven Thubten Dondrub
Collection: Retreat (Ven Thubten Dondrub)
Date: 1998-02-21
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 9.9 minutes
Words: ~951
We have to chase out there more. And because we chase out that more, there’s no way we find that there’s anything in here. Because there’s an empty feeling in here, we have to find out happiness out there. So attachment just just keeps us trapped in our limited state, in our state of dissatisfaction. Yeah?
Yes. Yes. Yeah. In some ways, yes. I mean, there’s some debates about it.
Maybe we can talk more about this this afternoon. But, I mean, in in one moment of mind, you certainly can’t have these two things together, attachment and love. But of course, since the mind changes very quickly, you can have a moment of attachment, a moment of love like that, or a series of moments of attachment for some time and then some love. I mean, generally, I would say but I’m not so wise, but that what we call love is, you know, we do have some love for people, but it gets very much mixed. And dominated by attachment.
Yeah. And if we could only get rid of that attachment, then we could have some genuine love for people. But the point is in the definition of real love, pure Dharma love, spiritual love I’m not sure if I really like this word spiritual, but anyway, it’s kind of got some strange connotations, this word, kind of all this kind of unreal things, whereas the Buddhadharma is something very sort of down to earth. It’s just working with our mind. But anyway, pure love has a quality of being able to if you develop it, it doesn’t go just to one person.
When you have real love for one person, it it automatically flows to everyone you meet. But when we’ve got attachment, our attachment is just you know, it’s stuck on this person, and you can’t move it to other people. Yeah. I love my family. And the more you so called love your family, which is actually attachment, it’s wonderful to love your family.
We should love our families, but the trouble is we’re attached to them and obsessed with them. All our energy goes just into them. And there’s no time, space, energy to love others. Or it’s just with love in a very intellectual, superficial way. So does that family resolve something happening?
Because the attachment is free so that it’s free. Oh, sure. Also. Yeah. Yes.
Because attachment is dependence. I mean, there’s many things to say about attachment, which we can think about this afternoon. Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
If it was, sure. But I think if the whole Buddhadharma was taught in schools at an early age, it’d be wonderful. But it’s not our karmic situation. But if sure. Yeah.
But see, what I was trying to say also at the beginning is in in in the process of letting go of attachment, one has to understand that there is something that can replace it. And if you don’t have a faith in your own inner qualities, there’s no way to get rid of attachment. Yeah. So this is also an essential part of the strategy I was trying to say, is in the because we think our attachment believes that this is happiness, this stuff. And so if I let go of it, I’ll be miserable.
Right? And you will if if if one hasn’t found any other solution, any other so one has to have this trust, confidence, refuge in one’s inner qualities and start developing them. To some extent, yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Sure. I mean, is what is happening in in our society that you know, people have got all the things, found they are not happy, and have the intelligence and the honesty to to recognize that and to say, is there something else? Yeah? Is there another kind of being? Right.
Yeah. But the Do you you consider Christianity in that context of that context? Well, I think the way Christianity is taught now is a very strange thing. I don’t know if that’s what Christ wanted or was teaching and wasn’t taught in the path. But modern Christianity, I mean well, not all of it, but a lot of it, again, is this very external thing.
Yeah. And also, again, like, god will save you just by, you know, please god, take care of everything. I don’t think this is what Christianity real Christianity is about or any real religion. I mean, Christians created monasteries where where you had to go and give up attachment. You found God by giving up attachment to this life.
That that’s the basis of all great religions, but that’s not taught anymore because it’s quite hard for one thing. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Sure.
What was Christian mysticism? There was always this kind of, which is an unfortunate word, this mystical side of religion, was always in the forefront of Buddhism. This kind of secret aspect, which doesn’t have to be secret. It has always been in the forefront of the Buddhist teachings, what one has to do and made available to everyone. Okay.
It’s lunchtime. Yeah. I half past twelve. Yeah, twenty five to one. So we can take a break.
Maybe we can just spend one moment to dedicate the merit of this morning, the positive potential we’ve hopefully built up in our mind. May this become a cause for us to really overcome our to see into our attachments, our desire attachment, and by seeing into it, really overcome it, and therefore enable us to really follow the path to enlightenment, achieve that state, not only for our own sake, but for the benefit of all living beings.