Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 46-minute teaching on thought transformation, Venerable Lobsang Namgyel explores two interconnected themes: forgiveness and purification on one hand, and joy and delight on the other. He opens with a student’s question about whether forgiveness alone is enough or if purification is necessary, then guides the audience through the practical first step of choosing not to feed negative thoughts — the small decision in a moment that gradually reshapes habits and prevents deeper suffering. He illustrates this with the hole-and-ladder metaphor and the parable of repeated mistakes, emphasizing that we must start with manageable grievances, not family ruptures, and build from there. In the second half, he shifts to developing delight as a deliberate practice: finding joy in simple things, in others’ good fortune, and in waking each day with gratitude rather than dread. He draws on examples from Helen Keller and contemporary life to show how contentment, even in hardship, and the habit of rejoicing in others’ happiness transform both mind and relationships. Aimed at serious practitioners working with Buddhist thought transformation practices.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 46 _6.mp3
UUID: da61f6ff-cad2-4fb3-98cc-430e383ea5a6
Teacher: Ven Lobsang Namgyel
Collection: VenNamgyel Thought Transformation (Ven Lobsang Namgyel)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 46.0 minutes
Words: ~6,383
Stand the question. So if you if you forgive, is that enough? Or do you need to forgive and purify? Or if you just purify, is that the same as forgive All encompassing. Oh, we want an all encompassing.
Len? Doesn’t work. Tried it. Drive on. Oh gosh, Kate.
What a question. Here’s my question back. If you haven’t forgiven, would you be able to purify? Come on, intelligent people. You can help her.
Right. That was what I thought when I thought about that. I think if there was true forgiveness, then from a Buddhist point of view, if there’s true forgiveness, I think you’d want to purify because you’d see that there is something to purify. You know, there’s no ego holding on to the situation. And you think, yeah, I see what I’ve what I’ve done in this situation, and I want to purify it because I don’t want to experience the result of it.
I think if there’s no forgiveness, but you purify, You’re saying the words, but the feeling’s not there, isn’t it? I think you wouldn’t purify from the heart, just from the mouth. So I think forgiveness is is necessary, isn’t it? I think that’s a good point.
Thank you, Kate. See how intelligent she is? Any other questions before I go on to Joy? Come on, people. Very quiet.
See, when I don’t ask you for questions, you ask me questions. And when I ask questions, you don’t ask me. Just like children. Isn’t it, Len? So everybody’s clear.
It’s just kind of the the making the leap. Oh, get out with your leap. Oh, well, I can’t. It’s just one little step. There’s no leaps, isn’t it?
One little step. How’d you do it? That little step. Well, you see I think when you say leap, it doesn’t happen because it seems daunting. You’ve got this massive chasm and you’ve got to jump all the way over there.
That that’s what leap gives me that picture of, oh, it’s so far away. But isn’t it in the moment when your mind wants to go back into that grudge negative feeling, you decide, no. I’m not going there. This is not what I am. I choose to be forgiving because I know why they did what they did.
Not specifically, but generally, karma, delusion, da da da da. That’s my situation. That’s their situation. So it’s obvious. That’s why they did it.
And so that’s that small step. I choose not to. And what I often say is, you know when you take that small step and you go in a slightly different direction and we think it’s not much, over time it becomes a big change. Because that one small step in a slightly different direction, you don’t think is consequential, but it’s unbelievably consequential because it goes against the grain of all the other negativities that you’ve done. It goes against all of that.
And so that’s purifying and it’s also changing your future. Whereas if you do the same thing or similar thing, again, it adds to the habit of responding in a similar way. And as I said, it’s like digging the hole. You dig the hole deeper and deeper, and then you throw yourself in. Then you stand at the bottom of this hole and say, and how did I get in here?
It’s not my fault. You know, poor me. Did you read the poem up in the house? That’s why I keep mentioning this hole. There’s a poem up in the house.
It’s a a lady’s life story autobiography in five lines or five chapters or is it? Verses. Maybe five verses. Yeah. And it’s something like, you know, I walk down the street.
There’s a big hole I fall in. How did this happen to me? You know? And then the second one is I walk down the street and there’s a big hole and I fall in, and I’m trying to see for a way out. And the third time I fall I walk down the road and I fall in but quite quickly I get out.
The next time I’m walking down the street I see the hole and I walk around it. The next time I go down a different street. Right? It’s gradual, isn’t it? It’s knowing that you’re digging that hole.
If you if you use the analogy of each time you do something negative or think something negative, you’re digging a hole, you throw yourself into the hole, and then you say, poor me. How did I get down here? And now I have to build a ladder to get out. And then poor me, you know, who put me in and how am I gonna get out? Whereas when you choose not to go in, you don’t have to get out.
And that’s in that moment’s choice of, no. I choose not to do this, not to think this way. I’m going to think in a different way. Oh, my experience. Yes.
Than the big one. Yeah. Work up. Oh, yeah. I always tell people don’t start with the too hard basket.
You know, when they hear things like this, they usually think, my mother that I haven’t spoken to for thirty years, you know, and out comes the too hard basket. I said, oh, don’t start there. You know, there was one lady, I must tell you at Kopan, an English lady. And she came along and we did Medicine Buddha retreat. We weren’t particularly talking about forgiveness.
But during the retreat, she was thinking about her mother, doing lots of mantras, thinking about her mother. The nectar coming down, and she’s thinking about her mother being there and purified by the nectar. Hadn’t spoken to her mother for years and years and years. So she’s thinking, my mother’s getting really old and she could die any moment. I should write to my mother.
And I always say, during retreats, don’t do emails and don’t write letters because people can write really strange things. Know, they often write, hello mother, I’m in a monastery and I’m thinking of becoming a monk or a nun. And after the retreat, they completely changed their mind but by that time, the mother’s on sedation and in a hospital, you know. So you have to be really careful what you say and do. So she didn’t listen to that and she decided, I’m writing a letter.
So she goes into the shop, she gets paper, she gets an envelope, and she writes a snail snail snail mail snail mail and post it to her mother. I really love you. I forgive you for whatever happened. I really want us to see each other again. Really nice stuff.
Right? Nothing happens. So after a year, still nothing happens. So she thinks, but it’s Nepal. Maybe the post system isn’t very good.
Maybe she didn’t get the letter. You know? So she starts justifying the lack of response that could be the letter. And so then one day she’s with her brother and her brother’s a bit drunk. And she mentioned she’d been in the monastery and he said, oh, that’s right, that letter.
And she said, oh, did it come. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was there when it arrived. And my mother, our mother, opened it, and she thought it was a load of rubbish and that you were being really stupid, and she threw it in the bin.
And that was it. And she was devastated by that, you know, that that he told her like that and that the mother felt like that. So forgiveness from your own side doesn’t mean the other side is going to forgive or they’re going to forget or they’re going to change. But if you take on the really hard one, you have to have a spiritual strength that says, even if the other side still goes against me, still harms me, still hates me, I’m going to continue because it’s my value. So I think you need to start with the small steps, the little things.
Start with forgiving yourself for not being able to sit straight still when you’re trying to do meditation. You know, that’s a good place to start, isn’t it? Start with being a bit irritable on the bus or driving or on the train or with the kids or in work with the boss or whatever it is. Just that small irritability. Start with the habit of responding with you understanding and forgiving and trying to be more patient, more tolerant.
And as that develops and grows with that experience, can take on more difficult experiences. And then you can take on the most difficult, which is often family. Because family is the most difficult usually to heal. Because when there’s a fight in a family, usually the feeling is so intense and so strong. I think similar to when you fall in love, isn’t it?
Oh, I love you so much. I’ll always love you. And they say, oh, I love you too. We’ll always be together. And after a year, you’re in the court and hating each other and, you know, citing all the horrible examples of what she or he did.
And you never imagine it coming to that, and in only one year it can happen, you know, six months if you’re a film star. So, you know, for ordinary mortals like us, it takes a year or two, but it can come to that. Easily you can you can say, I hate that person. I hate them so much. You don’t really, but it’s like the intensity of into the hatred.
And you let somebody into your heart, and they let you down. And then that feels like something not to be forgiven, doesn’t it? But actually, it has to be forgiven because we’ve done it, if not in this life, past lives. But also, you just don’t want to carry around this negative baggage. Why are you doing this to yourself?
You know? I think we’re good people. Just by virtue of the fact that you’re here and you’re investigating how to change your life means you’re a good person. Well, if you’re a good person, why do you want to burden yourself with all that guilt and all that angst and all that anger and jealousy and hatred and blah blah blah. All that stuff that you can keep holding on to, why would you do it to yourself?
But usually we don’t think we’re doing it to ourselves. Usually we think it’s being done to us. The power in Buddhism, this is the power, is knowing it’s not being done to you. You’re doing it to yourself. And that’s when you start to switch it around because you say, okay.
I’m responsible. And if I’m responsible, I’m going to change it. That’s power. Right? I can change it.
Powerless is, I’m a victim. You’re all doing it to me, and there’s nothing I can do except persuade all of you to change. So Śāntideva said, if there’s thorns and glass covering the whole earth, you’ve got two choices, put shoes on or cover the earth in leather. A fly. Well, can’t leather like feet?
Well, I mean, I think that was more information than we needed, but I would go for a pair of shoes, quite frankly, than turning my feet into leather. But, yeah, it’s a possibility. I mean, but these ladylike creatures may not want feet like leather. I mean, say you have to go out today. Right?
And there’s an emergency. I’ll turn it into an emergency situation, and there’s thorns and glass all the way. What would you do? Roll the leather out all the way down to Colville Café, or would you put a pair of shoes on? It’s only talking about the attitude.
You know? There’s an attitude there of do I change myself or do I change everybody else? Leather on the world is you’re trying to change everybody else. Keep quiet everybody. I need peace and quiet, you know, just half an hour.
I think it’s a guarantee for all the children to start screaming, you know, the, woah. So do you get what you want by making demands of others, or do you change your mind? This is the crux, isn’t it? Is it you or them? Maybe you should have done them all.
Or blubbing. Yeah. Buddha didn’t say anything about crying, don’t think. I I don’t think I’ve read anything about it. But I think for for some people, it’s cathartic.
There’s a feeling of a release of emotion, isn’t there? And I find that there can be a very moving movie or book, and and you sort of cry, and it’s in a nice way and that you feel moved. There’s a nice thing about it. So I don’t think particularly crying like that has a bad effect. But I think you can get into the habit of thinking that by crying, you’re removing the problem or you’re alleviating the problem.
Whereas, actually, symptom. It’s what’s coming from the emotion. So it’s a symptom of the emotion. It’s not going to remove the emotion. It’s not going to change the emotion.
It could just make you feel a bit better at the time. It’s a little bit like maybe releasing the pressure on the pressure cooker. You know? So the pressure go cooker goes, and then you you feel a bit better. But often, extreme crying makes people feel even more exhausted and even more confused.
I think if it’s just short, you know, crying and then it’s over, and then you feel better, then it was worthwhile. It was good. But if it becomes a habit that you start crying excessively and that produces confusion and exhaustion, then it’s not going to be beneficial. So I guess you just look at the feeling of the person and as what as whether it’s helping them or not. I think in families, if somebody excessively cries, then they start to say, oh, it’s just her or it’s just him.
You know? Like, ignore it. And that can be very hurtful because it’s an expression of something inside, but maybe it’s not being skillfully enunciated. Sometimes we need to put words to things, you know, that just tears are not enough, that we need to speak from the heart. But then speaking them from the heart in order to say, what you’re feeling and not in the way of and I’m trying to use this feeling to manipulate you, to force you into changing or doing something that I want.
But just if you’re really interested, this is how I feel. And in order to do that, you need to be not unemotional. Because if you’re emotional, then you can say things that you don’t mean. You know? So I think you have to find a balance.
And then in that balanced state of mind, then you talk about the feeling. The feelings are difficult, you know, because sometimes they sort of sweep in like storms, don’t they? And that you get caught up in this sort of storm of the feeling and anything can happen in that time. And then when it’s gone away, there’s such a feeling of exhaustion from it that also afterwards anything can happen because of the confusion and the tiredness. So I think in between the storms, try and find a balance.
Emotionally, mentally, because it’s the same. Buddhism, mental, emotional, it’s the same. Emotional is is the expression of the mental. Right? So look at what you’re thinking in the breaks between the storms.
Look at what what’s going on. Look at your lifestyle. Are you getting too tired? Are you taking on too much? Are you a yes person?
You know? This is often the thing that most people do. Will you do this for me? Yes. Will you do that for me?
Yes. And then they get exhausted and frazzled because they’re going in six different directions. So are you doing that? Are you afraid to say no? Are you getting exercise?
Are you getting enough sleep? I think it’s to look at the whole situation and is your situation supporting you in order to be balanced. And then if it is, then the emotional situations tend to be lessened. But if you’re not getting proper sleep and you know all the other things are not right, it’s very easy for us to get into being emotional and then not really coming out of it, but going back into emotion again quite quickly. You know?
Healing emotions is basically understanding where the emotions are coming from, which is the three main ones are aversion, attachment, don’t like, really like, and don’t care. And don’t care in a Buddhist sense is ignorance. Ignorance is not understanding true reality how things exist, that all beings have been our mother, father, brother, sister, that actually we have a connection with all beings. And so ignorance is saying, I don’t care about them because I don’t know them. We don’t have a connection.
But actually, have a connection with all beings. And so Buddhism says every being is in your family from one life or another. So that’s ignorance. And then aversion. From aversion, you can get anger.
From attraction, from desire, you can get attachment, and I don’t want to let go. And so it’s being aware of these emotions and then counteracting them while they’re happening rather than just letting them happen. So gradually, you get your strong emotions down a bit, you know, from a peak, the peak starts to come down. Like I said, you can’t go for the most difficult situation. You have to go for the manageable situations and just take the top off the extreme emotion because that’s usually the most exhausting and the most devastating for everybody around you.
And if you can’t bring the top off it to reduce the emotion, put the running shoes on and get out the house instead of going back into the habit of being emotional. And then what everybody does is they tend to say, you know, she’s like that or he’s like that. And then they don’t listen. They don’t pay attention. So it requires a change of behavior in order to change the situation.
Not for them to change, but you to change yourself. Is that okay? Yes. Anything else? Delight.
Okay. Delight is an experience of joy. It can be blissful. Amanda? It can be blissful, energetic, and pleasant, which Amanda didn’t look for a second there.
Yeah. Charming and life affirming. So this is all delight. It’s uplifting. So we can see around us the laughing baby, the dog playing in the park, unexpected discoveries.
We can experience it when we see a sunset, a beautiful photograph, falling in love, reunited with an old friend, listening to a song like what a wonderful world, Louis Armstrong. Have you people heard of Louis Armstrong? It’s a lovely song, isn’t it? Whenever you hear that song, you really feel uplifted by it. So you think what a wonderful world and then we go back into our drama and the stuff that’s going on.
So we need very strong powerful experiences, positive experiences when we’re not experiencing the dramas. And that’s why when we’re not experiencing the dramas, need to put some really good positive seeds into our mind stream. So that’s delight or joy or enthusiasm. You know, you can use different words for it. But it’s a sort of feeling that opens your heart and transcends differences.
So when you have a great joy, you don’t feel such a difference between you and others. It can relieve anxiety and cuts through pain, and it can happen suddenly and leave a lasting memory, or it can come gradually and then, remove misfortune. So if we have delight in our lives, then it’s easier to find the strength to keep going when life gets tough. Delight is an expression of happiness. So it means when you have that happy feeling in your heart, then what you experience, what you’re showing from that is delight.
So it says here, it’s not always something random. It often seems to be up to us in our mood whether we experience delight or not. And this could be the moment you wake up. Isn’t it? Because the alarm goes off and depending on you view waking up as an opportunity or another day, work, You know, look at the sky.
It’s gray. I need a cup of coffee. You know, if you start with that sort of feeling, then you’re not starting off with happiness and you’re not starting off with delight. And then usually the day will follow on. So you’re feeling not very happy and then the day sort of goes on from there.
So what’s the first experience of your day? Is it happiness? Is it delight? How are you experiencing the day when you wake up? So I think this is a good thing to check.
Then throughout the day, looking for a sight or a sound that gives us a joyful feeling. And it may not be the same thing every day. I mean, some days you may think if that bird cheeps one more time, you know. And then other days you think it’s so beautiful, isn’t it? The birds singing.
So it’s not always the same. Our mind changes. So it’s no use trying to recreate the same experiences every day. I love the birds yesterday, and why don’t I like the birds today? You know, don’t haunt yourself like that.
Just looking for experiences that bring you delight. So like I said, you could have a gratitude journal or a delight journal looking for different things in the day that make you feel really happy. And you also can’t base your experiences on the experiences of others because what others find delightful, we may not. So it’s a very individual experience. And if you look at Helen Keller’s experience, you know, she became deaf and blind before she was two years of age.
And then she had great difficulty in learning to speak and to read. But in spite of that, she became a huge exponent of rights for blind people, for handicapped people, and she’s inspired thousands of people. And still today, she continues to inspire people, except for those of you who don’t know who Helen Keller is. I think we know who you are, Len. Do you know Helen Keller?
Oh my goodness. Oh, Helen Keller was blind. And until today, there’s a charity. I particularly know about it because a friend, a Buddhist friend worked for Helen Keller Society in Nepal, in Kathmandu, and helping children who are blind or going blind or blind. And so they have schools and training and things like this around the world.
So from Helen Keller being blind before she before she was two, very young, She turned it into something extremely powerful to benefit others. We could end up blind at the age of two and think, poor me, you know, look after me and what a terrible life I’ve got. Or you can use it in order to transform the situation. So Helen Keller said, everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence. And I learn whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
How content are we? Yeah. So this is a big keyword. I think to develop contentment instead of always being discontent, always looking for something different, something else, something new. So to generate a mind that has contentment.
In a similar way, people who survive a heart attack or life threatening cancer often find that they delight in simple things. The pleasure of just being alive becomes very precious. It’s something that most of us tend to take for granted unless we’ve had a wake up call. So we need to have the wake up call, Isn’t it? You don’t need to have a heart attack.
You don’t need to have cancer. You just need to think I’m going to die today. This is the death meditation. If you really do the death meditation very well, it’s a wake up call. You start thinking, well, do I really want to live like this?
Do I really want these negative emotions? If I’m going to die today, is it worth holding on to this resentment? Dying with this resentment? Dying with this anger? What’s the point if I’m going to die today?
What do you think, Malinda? Thank you. And that’s said by a woman with tough feet. Malinda, She has tough feet. And she said, that’s very good.
Right? You know Marlinda, don’t you? Right. Okay. The great philosopher, Marlinda, who in future times, know, somebody will be sitting, I won’t, I’ll be dead.
But they’ll be saying, the great philosopher, Marlinda said, develop tough feet. And they’ll say, Marlynda who? Right? Isn’t it? Yeah.
They’ll say, Marlynda Dietrich. Yeah. I know her. So each one of us think, oh yeah yeah. I know who I am.
So delight is a precious natural emotion that we can use to get us through the stresses and strains of life which we can share and pass on to others. Being in the presence of someone who radiates joyful delight is a pleasure that everyone can enjoy. The fact that delight is contagious makes it a particularly powerful tool for generating and spreading happiness. Well often you see these little little kids who have so much delight you love to be with them. And then you get the pesky ones that you don’t want to be anywhere near them.
Or the little puppy that plays and it’s or the little kitten and you think it would only stay like that. It would be great, right? It gives you a feeling of what delight is. But when you see that, your heart just opens and you feel so much pleasure, so much happiness from it. So delight is important because it releases us from fear, discontent and dissatisfaction.
It lightens our mood and takes us out of depression, self pity, anger and craving. It can transform even the most difficult circumstances and bring peace to the heart. Taking delight in a pleasant experience helps us to generate a sense of gratitude for the good things in our lives and for all the people who make them possible. Delight helps us to develop a relaxed and open attitude to life and can encourage the people around us to do the same. So I’m about to quote somebody.
I won’t even bother if you know who it is. Khalil Gibran, author of the prophet, forget forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. Very poetic, isn’t it? So often we lose those very simple pleasures.
Instead of listening to the wind or the or the waves or the rain, we have to have one of these. Right? With the music and in the ears. And so you see people, sometimes the woofers around here, the people, you know, the people who come here for a short time working, and they put music in. And I think what a shame.
It’s one of the very few peaceful places that you get where you can just experience peace. But we don’t like peace anymore. As soon as there’s peace, we switch on the TV or we call somebody, we switch on the radio, we have an MP3, we don’t allow ourselves to be peaceful. And in that peace, delight often arises because the actual nature of your mind is happiness. That’s why we enjoy it so much because that’s our nature.
Right? Our nature is not to be angry and to have hatred. Our nature is this clarity and wisdom and knowing. We have wonderful qualities, but we can find them when we’re peaceful, not when so much anxiety and pressure. So delight is important because it releases us from fear, discontent, dissatisfaction.
Right? And it lightens us, takes us out of depression. So that’s really important because in in this world, now there’s so much pressure on us to consume, to buy, to have much money, to be doing things with money all the time. But what about the simple pleasure of taking delight in the sunrise, the sunset, somebody smiling at you. Just think of those things.
So ancient societies all over the world knew the wisdom of taking delight and made sure they put aside time for regular celebration. It’s not only enjoyable, but also skillful to delight in the birth of a child, in a young person who achieves a special goal, in two people who commit themselves to each other, or in the return of a traveler from far off lands. That’s you people. I wonder if it will happen. Will they all go out to the airport and greet you?
No. Used to be, you know, when the ship came up, wasn’t it? It used to be the ship. And it was a big thing with the band playing and the walkway came down and, you know, people came down and everybody was looking because travel was a big thing. So when you went away and you came back, it was really excitement, you know, and delight at the person coming.
But I think we’ve lost that experience in many ways because we’ve lost those sort of rites of passage like travel, a baby being born, growing up, you know, there used to be a certain stage when you said somebody grew up, whether it was eighteen or twenty one. We used to have markers, and then this was a time for celebrating. So what do you celebrate? You might think, birthdays is not worth it. Christmas.
Know, we’re sort of like this nowadays, aren’t we? We’re sort of, know, a bit sort of cynical about everything. So what are you celebrating? Depression, anxiety, and then death. I thought we should make a teacher.
Life sucks and then you die. Right? We’d sell loads of them. Life sucks and then you die. I mean, you can live life with that attitude, isn’t it?
What a horrible life. Poor me. You know, I was born in this. And you sort of push yourself down and down and down, but you choose not to be like that. You choose to take delight in the things that you have, the things that are happening to you.
And what you don’t have, you don’t worry about it. You let go of it. You don’t need to be attached to things that you don’t have. Taking delight in something pleasant that happens to another person is an extraordinary antidote to jealousy and envy. So those of you who have jealousy and envy, write this down.
Jealousy and envy is not not very comfortable, is it? It’s horrible when you’re jealous of somebody, you know? Whatever it may be for. And I think it can even be small things, but you get really jealous. Often what I notice on courses is that people get jealous if one person can sit really well without moving.
You know? So there you are struggling with your body and you look at this person who’s, you know, like this and you think, I don’t like that person. Just because they sit. But it could be their color of their hair, anything, you know, and you can get jealousy and you think, why am I jealous? It’s a really painful state of mind.
It doesn’t bring any benefit. So when you’re rejoicing in what others have and what others are experiencing, it’s the antidote for that negative state of mind. So when we live with envy, we erect a barrier between ourselves and the object of our envy. Our minds become tight and uncomfortable, and jealousy is so painful it eats us up. Delight on the other hand is transforming.
It heals our hearts and our relationships, and it makes us light. So what about when you’re playing a game like golf or tennis or something like that, and you hate to lose? What about you’re the one who never wants to lose? Who wants to play with you? You know, we all want somebody to play with, but after a while, nobody wants to play with you because you get so jealous of the person who’s winning.
You envy them because they’re the winner and I’m the loser, But in the end, nobody wants to play with you. But actually, everybody would want to play with you if you loved losing. What about if you reveled in being the loser? And being the loser didn’t make you a bad person. Being a loser doesn’t mean you have to be a bad golfer.
I mean, you can lose. You don’t have to become a bad person. So if you really want to make others happy, shouldn’t you lose? You should lose, isn’t it, to make others happy. If making the other person happy is them winning, then lose and lose with good grace.
So if you’re playing games and you know, you happen to be on the the losing side, then don’t take it so personally. Don’t have envy and jealousy just because of that. So as we progress, we can develop delight in less obvious things. For example, what we label as problems or challenges may offer us opportunities for learning and growth. So I think as a way of ending, this is really important for us that if you think about what we label as problems or challenges, this could be the opportunity for learning and growth.
Because often in really difficult situations, they access very beautiful qualities within themselves that they didn’t even know they had. So then instead of resenting the problem and the challenge, you gradually come to see them as gifts for developing your strength and your resilience to cope with whatever life brings. So this is, mental exercise. If you see problems as mental exercise, then you don’t see them as problems. You see them as an opportunity.
And if you want to make a strong body, you have to start by practicing. You take short walks and then longer walks and then you start jogging and then you start running. You don’t go into a marathon. You know, you don’t take on fifty kilometers if you’re not fit. So you take on the small problems, you change your mind about it being a problem and then that makes your mind more pliable and stronger and then gradually you’re able to take on the more difficult situations.
So don’t see problems as problems, just see them as opportunities. It’s only a problem because I’m thinking of it as a problem. You can see it as a challenge or an opportunity for learning. For the very act of the rejoicing of good fortune of others seems to work some kind of magic in which our own concerns and troubles melt into the background. Conversely, begrudging someone else their good fortune can bring a tight miserable feeling that heightens our own sense of deprivation and is the very opposite of joy.
When we give our time and energy to developing delight, we radiate pleasure and joy, which are reflected back to us and happiness naturally enters our life. It’s really important to think about that when somebody else has something, do you get this feeling that you begrudge it or you feel envious of it or you feel jealous of it as if you should have it and they shouldn’t. You know, often that sort of feeling might arise, but you may not identify it. So be really careful to think of how that other person has what they have. It’s not good luck.
They’ve created the good karma to experience the result. If we’re experiencing difficult times, we created the karma to experience that. In order to experience what we call in the West good luck, we have to actually create the karma for it. So don’t be envious and jealous of others, but instead rejoice in their happiness. And then that means that happiness will come back to you.
So somebody called Rudyard Kipling, I’ve never heard of him. Rudyard Kipling said, teach us delight in simple things and mirth that has no bitter springs. Forgiveness free of evil done and love to all men beneath the sun. Easier said than done, isn’t it? But at least we can start trying to forgive, to let go, to start developing some good qualities.
At least we can start trying. And that means you’re headed in the positive direction. Yeah? And keep thinking, dharma or drama? Which road do I want to be on?
In the end, you’ll know which way is the best. Okay. So I’ve finished. I think. I want to dedicate unless anybody has a question, but I think joy and, rejoicing.
Joy, rejoicing, delight, happiness. It’s something that we really understand and that we really want to produce, But you produce it through looking at others’ joy and feeling joy in yourself. You know? Looking at something outside and thinking, I’m so happy they’ve got that. I’m so happy they’re having a good time.
I’m so happy they’ve got a nice house. They’ve got a good relationship. That’s joy, you know, being happy that they’ve got it. And then you’ll get the joy coming back to you. So if you don’t have something, rejoice in others having it.
That’s how you create the karma to have it. So we’re going to use, Śāntideva’s dedication on page two, four, six.