Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this two-hour teaching, Ven Jamyang explores the fourth guideline: delight as an antidote to heaviness, cynicism, and stress. Delight—a natural child-like quality—is lost to social conditioning but can be deliberately rebuilt. The practice involves three core elements: notice beautiful moments daily, rejoice in others’ good fortune (including rivals), and recall what lifts the mind. Even artificial practice eventually generates real feeling as the brain responds. Through dialogue and meditation, Jamyang emphasizes that emotional qualities like listening without judgment, humor, warmth, and genuine care lift others from despair and ripple through communities. He grounds the work in a central question that runs through the teaching: What do I need to do right now to transform habitual heaviness into joy? For practitioners already familiar with the series.
File metadata (for organising)
File: jamyang – delight.mp3
UUID: acc2b2bb-0060-447e-96dd-e1f881780732
Teacher: Ven Jamyang
Collection: 16 guidelines for life june (Ven Jamyang)
Date: 2009 (exact day not recorded)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 130.8 minutes
Words: ~13,800
Is this working? Is it working? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I just can a little bit more.
That’s fine. I’m not sure. Is it this one? Is that better? Or this one?
This one? This one? Bit better. Good enough? Yeah.
Yes? Yeah. Sort of. Is that better? I don’t know.
I’d it’s either the wireless or the other one, but I think it’s alright now. Welcome everybody. Thank you for coming. Is there anybody who hasn’t been here before in these classes? Hello.
You might have heard a little bit what we’re doing, the sixteen guidelines for a happy life. Sixteen guidelines means that these are kind of instructions how to think, how to act, how to relate to others, and how to create meaning. These are instructions written in a normal language and written by a king in Tibet a thousand years ago, I think. And the purpose of that was that he made the Buddhist teachings available for laypeople who had no opportunity to study, who had no opportunity to to read and write. So it had to be very simple and very short and very practical.
Normally then I do not frustrate and we do not do the whole Buddhist thing when it happens. I felt a little bit awkward, but that’s alright. So although it is based on Buddhism, it is brought in normal language, no Buddhist language, no really the Buddhist concepts, but I think underneath it’s all like that. And if you if we look at how what makes that we are not happy is that we act from a kind of state of mind that doesn’t lead to happiness really. If you check what the most time of the day what keeps us busy, it’s not the good stuff, I think.
It’s not that we’re all the time happy and we stay in that happy feeling and act from there. It’s not that we feel happy and open and wanna cherish others and work for them, you know. Most of the time we are concerned about ourselves. We are looking like how can I feel better? How can I make sure that I don’t feel like this?
How can I avoid this? How can I get that? It’s all about me. It’s all about how can I be happy? And because we have that basic attitude, we have attachment for the things that we want, the things that we we think makes us happy.
We have aversion for the things that we do not like, for the things that we think make us not happy. And on the basis of attachment and desire, all other emotions can come up like pride and jealousy and anger and everything that comes from that, resentment, hate. They’re all based on what we call illusions, all based on disturbing emotions. And when we act from these disturbing emotions, we create a cause for not being happy. And we all know that, but somehow we can’t stop it.
Isn’t it? Everything that we’re doing comes from there, almost everything. How many times do I have a moment that we have this spacious feeling and think, wow, and that you just want to do good? How many times? A day.
Can we say I have this one or two times a day or do we say maybe once a month or I can remember that three years ago I had this really good experience. They’re very rare, isn’t it? The pure ones. They’re really where we really open up. They’re very, very rare.
They they just sometimes come in, and we do not know exactly where they’re coming from. They just are suddenly there and then suddenly go on, and we don’t know where they were coming from. We feel it’s very special. We don’t know where they went. We do not know how to get them back.
And we know that if we have that, we are really happy. But how can we create a causes for that to arise all the time in our mind? So what we have been doing so far is we have looked at what is underneath all our actions, that means that is how we think. Every action that we do, every word that we speak, every gesture that we make, every action that we do comes from a thought. And a thought can be comes from a thought.
If I see a fly and the fly agitates me, the thought can come in my mind I want to kill you and that’s what I do, you know. Or the thought might be there and then the thought after that comes oh no, it’s maybe not such a good idea, I’m a Buddhist, I shouldn’t kill. Or maybe I think oh, you know, is just creature like me with feelings just like me. I do not want to harm that creature. That thought, whatever that thought is, will be followed by an action.
And that action can be that I engage in killing or that action might be that I be aware that I do not want to engage in killing or that action might be that I want to save that creature’s life. These are these are all actions. So if we look at how we think, then we can change how we act. And if we change how we act, we can well, even if we just change how we think, we can think in a certain way that our mind opens up. Normally, we think and especially when problems come, the mind gets more and more clouded.
Isn’t it more dark? Or it’s like we go in circles. We do not wanna we do not know how to get out of that. The problem arises again and again and again, and we chew over it again and again and again, and we blame the other person again and again, and we’re trying to find ways how to get rid of the person and how to hurt the person and how to just walk out of hurt and how to but we’re still caught up in the churning again and again and again. It’s it’s a cloudy, obscured, narrow mind obsessed by me, me, me, how do I get out of this?
Or we can have a mind that thinks, I really would like to have this, and we start dreaming and fantasizing. And how can I get it and if I do this and this and this and this? And then the churning goes on and in itself that might be a nice feeling, you know, because we have all these ideas, if I’m going to get that I’m going to be so happy. But at the same time that going over and over and over the story again makes that we lose contact with our daily life. We are not present anymore.
Just think back when you were in love, you know, you’re not present. Isn’t it? You you said it, your hat is in the clouds. In Dutch, you say that like that. Is that a saying?
Yeah. You’re walking with your head in the clouds. Yeah. It’s like you are in these fantasies, how wonderful it is. And that moment you can experience a happy feeling, but we all know that one day we have to come down, Isn’t it?
One day we wake up and we think, what did I see in that person? It’s not there anymore, you know. He has changed. Have you what have you done that you’re not not that beautiful person anymore than I thought you were? So we can go very high.
We can go very low. One can feel nice, but they’re all based on me, me, me. I want this or I do not want that. And although that high feeling might feel like something really nice and that we bliss out, it is actually a cons a cons kind of constriction. And maybe because we leave the body, you know, it still feels auspicious.
But in actuality, we are quite obsessed when that happens, isn’t it? We’re completely obsessed. The mind is obsessed with one thing. So when we practice the sixteen guidelines, we find ways of thinking that are counteracting these disturbing emotions. And we find ways of thinking that are more in accord with reality, I think.
So what we have been doing so far, we looked into what have we looked into? I’ll ask you. Does anybody what did we do the first time? Who was here the first time? humility.
humility. Yeah. And what did that counteract? Can you remember? Pride.
So we have the delusion of pride, and pride is the feeling like I feel better than you or it can be my low self esteem, you know, no matter what I’m doing, it’s never good enough. Both are a form of pride. We counteract that by practicing humility. humility and we’ll we’ll start doing a meditation. I will go through the points where I ask you where I give you a kind of a definition of what it is, and you can look into your mind where you can find that and how it feels like.
So the first was humility in order to counteract pride. And the second, patience, and that was in order to counteract impatience. And if we were very impatient, then we are angry. So that is the disturbing emotion that comes with that. And last week we talked about contentment and contentment counteracts what if we’re not content?
Suffering. Neediness. Yes. I would say neediness. Attachment.
I want. I want. I want. It’s never good enough. It’s never enough.
So practicing contentment counteracts that. Tonight, we’re gonna talk about delight or rejoicing. So what would that contract? Yeah. All all these things is unhappiness, you know.
Anger is unhappiness. Pride is unhappiness. Neediness is unhappiness. Nothing comes. We’ll talk about that.
We’ll talk about that later. Don’t worry about it. Sorrow, delight. Delight. We’ll we’ll talk about that later.
Delight. Is that alright? Or are you gonna think, what is it? What is it? What is it?
No. Just forget it. We’ll we’ll meditate first. Go through the other ones and so that you you can connect reconnect with that feeling. And if you haven’t been here, that you get a taste of what we have been doing.
Okay? Good. So when we meditate, you just sit comfortably however you feel that you can relax. The meditation is easy. Meditation is just thinking about certain things, you know.
If you hear something and you hear, oh, patience, this helps to counteract anger, then you hear it in your cortex, but it doesn’t go any further than that. If we want to change our behavior, we have to bring that down to all the layers in our brains, especially the emotional layers and even deeper, the surviving mechanisms. If we really want to change our mind, we have to go into these structures of the brain. We have to make changes down there. So when we meditate, we go deeper inside in order to so that our mind can merge with the thoughts.
You know, because although we think, oh, yeah, that’s really nice, humility and contentment and patience, we are not familiar with it. They do not automatically arise. Or maybe I should say even if they are there naturally on our mind, we obscure them with our delusions. We can’t access them because our illusions are constantly in the way. Can you follow what I’m saying?
Yeah. Okay. If you don’t, please tell me. Alright. So make sure that you sit comfortably and close your eyes.
You can breathe out deeply a few times. And let all the tension of the day flow away. Forget about everything that kept you busy today no matter how important your thought was. This one and a half hour, it really doesn’t matter. It’s not gonna help you if you just keep thinking about it.
And if there’s somebody else involved, it’s not going to help the other person if you keep thinking about it. And sometimes when you give thoughts some space, if you just let them go, then after some time, solutions can come back very naturally without any effort. So let go all the thoughts, all the busyness. Every time that you breathe out, you breathe out your tension. You breathe out all the chatter in your mind.
And you relax into a safe space where you feel comfortable with yourself. Where you feel at ease. Where you have an attitude that nothing has to rise in the mind. But anything that arises is wonderful. Then bring your mind to your body or bring your awareness to your body.
Just observe your body, maybe your breathing. And if you notice that your mind wanders off, you bring it gently back and refocus on your body while you’re breathing. No need to do anything else than that. Just enjoy the cessation of your breath going in and out. And then we call to mind the values as we have discussed them so far.
The first value was humility, which is the attitude of experiencing the world and what is with wonder and is seeing ourselves as a small part of a vast cosmos, inhabited by people and creatures who we can learn from. And then it’s and yet at the same time we can feel quite small. Being a complete equal part of totality than any other sentient being. And feel that if you can go to that place where you feel humble, that is like a quiet strength. Where you don’t feel better or worse than anybody else.
Where you acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, and where you realize your interdependency with all beings. And then call to mind mind the quality of patience. Patience is the ability to control our reactions and to retain our peace of mind no matter what happens around us. Feel that it is as a protective suit of armor, which gives you the flexibility and strength not to be a victim of circumstances. Instead of getting agitated or angry, you remain calm, peaceful and open, giving way to your inner wisdom to surface.
In the last week we discussed contentment, a state of mind in which we find a point of stillness within ourselves, which allows us to be quietly happy whatever our situation might be and to be at peace with who we are. Try to connect with that mind. Letting go your neediness and demands to the world of and yourself. Wherever you are right now, it’s just right. And then you can relax.
Relax your mind, your body. Come back to space for your body. And if you feel ready, you can slowly open your eyes. So today, we talk about delight. Dream as if you live forever.
Live as if you’ll die today. Is that delight? Sorry? Is delight relaxing? But do you have an idea that the light is relaxing?
Yeah. Of course. Mhmm. Yes. So the moment that you experience delight, you lack stress.
Yeah. I would agree with that. But is it easy to go there? To get to that mind? It can be hard work.
All these states of mind, they do not naturally arise from us. It’s hard work. And I think the first night that we did this, we talked about what kind of beings, what kind of human beings have these qualities? And we came up only with a few, you know. And that means it is possible to realize these kind of qualities, but it’s very, very difficult.
If it was easy, we would have them all. We would already have done it, you know, but it’s not easy. So yes, to get there is hard work, but the result is something that will be always there, be, you know, it will last. And then when it is there, the result can naturally start to arise. Just as that now at the moment we are very habituated to our delusions, to anger, to pride.
We can habituate ourselves in the same way by thinking over and over again these values. Being angry is just a habit, not more than that. Anger is not a natural part of the mind. Patience is. But in order to find that patience, we have to let go of the anger and we have to familiarize ourselves with patience.
And then eventually the anger will disappear. So delight, what is delight? And then when we know what delight is, we might find delusion that goes with that or that counteracts that. A little child. Uh-huh.
Excitement. Here we go again with my English. Off a little child. Do you agree with that? Everything is in.
Oh, mom, look, the flower. Oh, mom, look, the ant. Oh, and another one. Another one. That’s a child, isn’t it?
Anything is fantastic. So there was a lot of delight. Very easy. It’s a very easy, especially two, three, four years, and then slowly, slowly it starts to change somehow. Let’s first stay with what what it is before we go into the negative.
How else can we What else? Joyful. Joyful. Yep. Yep.
Appreciation of what is. Is that alright? Appreciation of what is? Yeah. Is that a, you know, with my Dutch background I hardly, I never hear anybody talk about delight.
So when I saw delight I thought, is this a normal word? Is this a word that you use? Is this a word that you know? You know, for me, I have to really feel like, what what are they talking about? I do not really get a feeling with the word.
Is that a word that you normally use in in English language? Yes. Okay. But with an adult, it’s hard. But it doesn’t mean that with an adult, we might not experience it so many times.
But with a child, it’s a normal language that you use. Oh, what are they light? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. So you use it as a to point something out. A yeah. It’s a quality. Yeah.
But the the quality describes something that you have experienced. It was a delightful day. You know, there was a lot of this joyful feeling that, you know, normally you might experience or what you see in the child. Is that the same? No.
What’s the difference? The light’s, like, more exactly where it’s lovely and the sort of more mild version. Something like Okay. Around it. Yeah.
So mild is small version. Your light goes more up? Is that More More extreme. More light. More Intense.
Yeah. More intense. You’re alright with that? So it is lovely in how do say that? Lovely.
Exaggerated lovely. Hi. Hi, lovely. Heightened. Heightened.
Like this? That will do? Where’s Karen? She’s not here tonight. Surprise.
Surprise. Yeah. So when when you when something comes to you as a surprise, then the light can come. Unless it’s a very negative thing that comes as a surprise. It’s a positive thing, isn’t it?
Yes. Ta da. Surprise. That kind of surprise. Surprise.
Gratifying? Very gratifying. Very gratifying. But is that is that correct? People agree with that?
More pure than gratifying. This is a pure feeling. I think I think it’s the absence of something as well. The absence of Okay. The mundane, the of everyday life.
Absence of mundane. Everyday life? Yeah. Because it’s true, we create something in our mind that makes it this. It’s very difficult to be present, you know.
So I like what you’re saying. We look at what is absent. How can delight arise? What has to be absent for delight to come? Cynicism.
Have easier terms. Is it is it a y or an I? Weariness of Why? Cynicism? Weariness of the world.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Again, cynicism. You know, my German English is quite good for this. What is that?
Pessimism. Yeah. Pessimism. So we’re quite familiar with this, isn’t it? This comes very easy.
I mean, all of those are in mundane everyday life. I’m cynical and sarcastic and pessimistic. Yeah. What else do we have? We cloud it, isn’t it?
We put all that worry, heavy. So for you, was I I would Yes, so as soon as the pressure comes, then absence of pressure. Stress, I think stress is even a better word. I say that because what we would like to develop is a feeling of delight, and we still can take on the jobs where we have responsibility. We wanna do together, you know, because otherwise we have to go back to the child.
No responsibility, always freedom. And then we’re very limited in where we can experience delight. Yes. So I’m looking for the big picture that we can have it always in the mind. Yep.
More energy. It’s like the pressure and the stress blocks the energy. Energetic. Yep. Yep.
Freedom. I like that what you said. Absence of preconceptions. So then there’s almost I don’t know. It’s more coming.
You keep smiling at stupid things. Uh-huh. The things that happen at work that other people ignore Yeah. And I smile at it, and then I’ll get great joy out of that. Everybody gets great joy because you smile.
So the moment we start talking about what actually is in our mind, then we suddenly remember, Ah, yes, when that wasn’t there, I felt like this and I felt like that and I felt like that. We all have had these feelings, isn’t it? They’re not strange to us. But if you look at this, then you can almost see why it’s so difficult to have it. Isn’t it?
It’s written down. We’re living in a lot of stress, pressure and I think this is a very big one, these preconceptions. You know, when we are a little child, you know, although we have an ego, although we have kind of perceptions and expectations of the world, at the same time our mind is quite open. Our mind is not stuck in I have to do this, I should do this, you know, there’s still that freedom where we can play, where we do not have responsibilities, where we can feel that excitement, where there is that surprise, you know. And in that, if we are small, we are honored for that, you know.
The adults around us that say, ah, look how happy she is. And they try us to get to that state, and they rejoice when we do that. They’re happy when we do that. And then when we grow a little bit older, could get five, six years old, and suddenly the behavior of the adults start to change, and there are different expectations. And suddenly we have to behave in a certain way and we start to lose a little bit of our freedom and we go to school and we have to learn things and we learn about good and bad and what we should do and what we shouldn’t do, and what we have to do to be a good boy, and what we definitely should not do in order to be a good boy, and that is really making you a bad boy.
And we get loaded with all these ideas of of parents and the teachers and other children, and slowly, slowly, the delight starts to move out of our life, isn’t it? It’s like the light goes out slowly. It’s very sad. And then we do not know anymore how to get there. Because if we people think, oh, you’re Charlie’s and, you know, look how stupid she is.
She’s laughing all the time. She No. It’s funny that it’s gonna happen when you’re stabbing the music. No. No.
And they look at you like, she’s not normal, you know? So then you have the choice. Either I’m gonna not be normal in this whole group or I adapt to the group. And most of us have the tendency to adapt to the group. So we all become sane, you know, louder than we don’t laugh anymore and don’t appreciate.
And I think it was that was in the book. Somewhere, I’m not sure if it was New York or they did an experiment to see how they could help people to go to a state of more delight. And they had a very famous violin player with a fantastic violin playing somewhere where there was beautiful, you know, where the noise was, how you say that, acoustics. So he was playing there, and they were observing what happened and what people did. The people just passed, didn’t pay any attention, nothing.
I think that took six minutes before somebody reacted to what was happening. And it was a very busy place, and nobody reacted. That means that we are really full of preconceptions. People might not even have noticed that it was there. And the only people who did something, you know, most of them were little children.
And they would say, oh, mommy, mommy. And mommy would say, come on, walk. The light is gone. And that’s what we do, isn’t it? And then we miss it.
Because when we feel the delight, the heart is open. When even when we were angry, you know, when the delight comes, it’s gone. It’s very powerful. Anything that is in our heart of as a burden is gone. The moment we taste it, everything gone.
So it’s a very, very powerful thing. It can be like a tonic, you know. You go to the shop and buy all these creams to look young, but this one is for free. And it’s there, can be there any minute, you know. It’s a constant, like a Zen beauty farm, experience, maybe.
So, we can imagine that if we’re going to practice delight or if we’re to allow delight to be more and more in our life, our life will become lighter, not so cynical, not so pessimistic, not so heavy, not so much worry, you know, all these things will slowly disappear. True? We can’t change the world, you know, and in the world there is a lot that is not nice and a lot. We can see that in the financial market, isn’t it? Oh, the recession is coming out of recession is coming out of and nobody goes out to do Christmas shopping anymore because everybody believes it’s not going to go well.
Isn’t it? We all think, oh no, I can’t spend, oh no, I can’t buy so expensive because they say the recession is coming. But it has nothing to do with what’s really going on. Isn’t it? And if we believe it, we contribute to it, and we will create it.
Because when we do not spend the money, you know, we will go into recession. We create that ourselves right now. If we would just ignore that whole story and keep on spending, the recession would never be able to hit so hard. Is that true or not? Oh, but I not have the guts to change it on my own because, you know, if everybody else does it, the only way I’m gonna survive if I do the same as the others.
That’s how the whole system works. That makes it scary. It makes it scary to make a change. That makes it scary to be different and say, I don’t care. Even if I lose all my money, I don’t care.
I’m just gonna give it. I would just gonna give it away. What’s gonna happen if I do that? Because the whole system is based it’s like an agreement. Oh, no.
We’re all gonna shrink. We all have to be careful. We all and if we do it all together, we are more familiar with being together in this misery than that we feel comfortable on our own to be out of the misery. Oh, yeah. It’s very, very, very ego based.
It’s very and based on nothing, based on a complete fantasy. It’s it’s it’s complete empty. We’ve been told that the cart before the horse. We are told that the cart is coming before the horse. No.
I don’t know that. Yeah. So I think part of it is reality. You know, part of that financial crisis is reality. There were banks that were lending much, much, much more money than they could really cover.
So then somewhere, something can go wrong. But then all the rest that comes with it, there is a lot of psychological stuff in that. That does not have to happen, you know. If everybody would just say, okay. That happened.
Let’s fix it. And then you can start moving around there. No. But what we do, all you decide is to go all into the depth of the misery. And then we’ll wait till one day somebody says, oh, maybe it’s not that bad.
You know? And then maybe we start coming out of it. It’s like a like a a worldly thing that we’re doing altogether. Is that true or is that shocking what I say? And I mean, we all are part of that and we all have the same tendency, you know?
My money’s going. I have to hold on to it. Or just hearing the stories and really thinking, I can’t I can’t spend too much this year because of recession. Who thinks like that? Nobody.
Yeah. But I don’t believe that nobody a few things like that. I think that to spend. You have no money to spend. You never had money to spend.
Not much money. And they haven’t lost so much. But the mood the mood comes in and the mood affects or not. Who’s affected by the mood? I am.
I have to tell myself every day, this is that does not have to happen. If we would just change the mind, it does not have to happen like this. Yes. But if we don’t spend the money, we will lose our jobs. Because we won’t produce, and there won’t be any work.
I wanna see if I’m not worried. We won’t lose our jobs. It’s not a guarantee. You know? Sorry?
I’m not gonna stop. Wouldn’t be. Mhmm. Well, you can you No, that’s true. You won’t die.
But it feels almost like that, isn’t it? You have to hold on to it. Thinking about recession is misery. I don’t know. If I see the pictures on the telly of the ’30s, you just see this black dog, everybody walks like this.
It’s like, oh, we shouldn’t go there. It’s not good. It’s not It’s not delightful. No. It’s very heavy and lots of worry and pressure.
Yes. That’s true. That’s true. That’s what gets me back to my money. I just suppose it’s going negative.
Yes. Yes. Why do we do that? Yes. But why I mean, it’s not just the media I was doing out.
It’s also something that appeals to us. Oh, no. What do we talk about? You would. Why is that?
I think that’s true. Why is that? What do we do? We have this tendency to justify our existence with a certain extent. I knew I was gonna be right about that being mad.
Right. Yes. Yes. As long as we have problems, we exist. Is that true?
Millie, come to the center. Is that true? As long as we have problems, we exist. Yeah. Millie has natural delight.
Why do we choose? Why do we choose for pessimism, the burden, the heaviness, and not for the delight? What is it? The self centeredness? Mhmm.
Me. Me. Me. Yeah. And and with that me, me, me, automatically this kind of minds arise.
Mhmm. The heaviness and the burden comes. Yeah. So we moan about it. You know what happened to me?
And then the problem can come. Is it yeah. You think we need contentment to have delight? What is that? What is that?
They’re having miserable life. They’re they’re having breakups. They’re All the time. None none of those shows are happy, delightful Without nothing happening. Yeah.
So that’s a drama of that’s the attachment to the drama of life. That bad. That helps. But even if we see that our life is not so bad, we do not become delightful about our life. We still choose to chew over it again and again and say, It’s not healthy to have a mind that is so obsessed, but I think most of us have a mind like that, to be honest, you know.
Although you have a lot of delight, You must admit that most people around us have a mind like that. It’s like it’s like it’s like I don’t know. When we get older, these habits might even become stronger. Some habits we might maybe overgrow and and and penetrate that with some wisdom, and, you know, we may might become a little bit easier in some ways. But it can also be that we just grow more and more rigid in in these kinds of habits.
Yes. You’d I’m not saying that’s a good thing. I think it’s very unhealthy. I think it’s the cause of sickness. I think it’s the cause of death even.
It’s like Work. Yeah. Why? What are you doing? What are you doing?
I thought you invited everybody to come to your work. But that’s the natural way of behaving. This is what we learn, what we are. You know, if you develop your I, me, me, me, you know, we learn from when we are, you know, the first four, five years we are allowed to do whatever. We are allowed to be very spontaneous and then we start growing all that, and then we have to go into this structure of expectations and what is good and what is not good.
And that makes us more and more self aware. And that self awareness, you know, we get asked, what do you want? What do you want for your birthday? What do you want for Christmas? And then we go to the shop and you say, mom, I want, mom, want, you know, and mom gives it to you, and if mom doesn’t give it to you, start screaming and your eye becomes even bigger and bigger and bigger.
So our whole development is based on developing that feeling of me. And then when we go to school, we learn that we have to be better than anybody else or we have to be stronger than our friend or we have to be more popular than, you know, who whoever. We we have to be some how different. We have to be you know, it’s not that we all have to be the same, isn’t it? Because then we disappear and who are we?
We are nobody. We need something to be special, to feel special. And by creating what we are developing, we’re developing the sense of me, and we make that stronger and stronger and stronger. And that sense of me is actually the cause why we think I can do whatever I want, I can ask for whatever I want, I have the right to get this, I have the right to expect from other people that they behave like this and this and this, and if I do not like it, I have the right to say that and I have the right to do something about it. And we have all these rights.
And we have all these feelings that whatever we’re doing is justified because I don’t like it or I do like it, you know. But what it actually creates is creates that whole misery because on the basis of that we create more and more desire, we create more and more discontentment, you know. The moment we don’t get it, the discontentment is there. Why don’t I have that? And we go after it.
So we create it. We create this kind of mind and our whole society is based on that. That’s why we lose it. That’s why we lose the qualities of humility and patience and contentment and the like. Because we we are habituated like that.
We our mom has told us that if we want to grow up and have a good life, that is what we should do. And we do not have other examples. We have only a few other examples. And these examples, they seem to be so far away, you know, that it might even think, you know, we do not even think that we can become like that. That’s just Mother Teresa.
That’s just the Dalai Lama, but that’s not me. Know? We forget that we as human beings have the inner capacity to develop these qualities. Actually, it is our natural state of mind to have these qualities. We don’t know that.
Our mom did not tell us that delight is part of a natural mind and that it is very good to feel so free and spontaneous and, you know, I shouldn’t say follow whatever we want because I don’t think that is delight but be happy with the things that appear to us, with the goodness that appears to us because there’s a lot of goodness appearing to us, isn’t it? Or not, is it? Did you all see something good today that you think, Oh, that was nice? Yeah, can you remember? Who doesn’t?
Who can’t remember? Something nice. Everybody? How fast was that moment? The moment itself.
Forty five seconds. Forty five seconds. Did you stay with the feeling or that you were the Uh-huh. We move easily away, I think. And it’s moments that we haven’t.
It’s not all the time there. It’s like small moment. So if we wanna go from this to that, you know, do we have a choice if you’re gonna do that or not? Do we? Do you see a choice?
To choose to choose for delight or to choose for accepting the burden? I think we can do better. Yeah. I don’t I don’t say I I don’t say it’s wrong, but I think we can do better. Yeah.
Yeah. I think I think with the way we think, we create a lot of misery. We show the children to be miserable. Yeah. I think so.
Because we forgot how to be delightful. Sorry, Maria. Mhmm. It’s not so safe anymore, isn’t it? Yes.
Yes. And people forget children forget how to play with nothing, isn’t it? Or just to be happy. I know. I know.
And to practice that, you need a brave mind and say, you know, I I and you need the wisdom to say, that is really gonna make me happy. You know? That is the only thing I have no matter what happens in my life. This is only gonna make me miserable no matter what I have in my life. It’s your people that dropped it out here that you don’t think will be No.
I didn’t say that. I I’m not talking about matter. No. But what I’m So I say, when you have a television and you have a house, what we see is that people are not happy with that. And I’m saying be happy with that.
I don’t say get rid of your television, get rid of your house, get rid of I don’t say that. I don’t care what you do. We rely on them for happiness or we think that it makes us happy and then when we have it, we feel the burden of having it or the heaviness. Know, my child is not allowed to touch the television because, you know, and you have all these restrictions. But if you have a television, fine, but, you know, watch with delight.
And then you go from there however you want to go. I really do not care. I think it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. If you have the material wealth, enjoy it, really enjoy it.
If you don’t, enjoy enjoy it. It doesn’t matter. It’s really satisfying what you have. Yeah. Well, delight is delight is more than being satisfied.
I think the contentment is being happy with what you have. Is the delight is is being happy with good things that appear, and that can be in your own that can be in the life of somebody else. You know, if your son graduates at school and he’s very happy, you can be happy for him. Or if you see that somebody learns how to ride a bike and is very proud, you can be happy for that. You know, any of these little things, the delight is there.
If your neighbor that you do not like gets a new car and is very happy, you practice delight. So there we can feel, that’s harder, isn’t it? And I think there there yeah. We’ll go we’ll go into that later. So we do have a choice.
We have a choice if we’re gonna go there or we’re gonna go there. Yeah. How do we make that choice? Maybe maybe we’re gonna do an exercise. Is that alright?
Just to create in the mind that awareness of where is my choice. Where can I choose if I go and go there or there? It’s like it’s like a place in the mind. Okay? So what I would like you to do is find a partner.
And I think I said before, like, find somebody that you haven’t spoken with yet or that you do not know or not know well because we are very comfortable in this. We’re not so comfortable in that one. And if you find somebody that you feel comfortable with, it’s much more difficult to get out of your comfort zone than with somebody that you do not know. You know? It all doesn’t matter.
It’s just that there was somebody who can reflect what is going on. So don’t feel shy and don’t feel scared and feel like that. So, now I would like you to think about when you feel down or sad or depressed, what kind of person do you look for that can cheer you up, that can help you to go to another state of mind? So you envision yourself in a state of worry and stress and heaviness and sadness and maybe depression. Who what what kind of person would would help you to move yourself out of that state?
What kind of qualities does that person have? Okay? So then I want maybe you can just, you know, say a name that you know of the person you’re talking to. And then one person tells and you try really to listen and hear what that person is saying and then you swap. Okay.
And then that other person says, and then we’re gonna see if we have similar kind of need in the group. Okay? We won’t do it for a long time. Maybe two, three minutes each. Yeah?
Okay. Face flat. To try. That’s alright. And now it’s it’s not working when I walk away.
Are we done? Done or not? Are you done? Yeah? Okay.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s good. If you’re done, just go back to your seat or you can stay there.
We’ll swap another time. You can go back to your your city. You can stay where you are because in a few five minutes, we’ll do another one. Qualities. Oh, how do I do that?
Qualities. Oh. Oh my god. Oh my god. Qualities.
So what are we looking for? Good listener. Good listener. What does that mean? Listener without judgment.
Do we recognize that? Yep. So not somebody who just sits there and has the preconceptions arising. Yeah. What else?
humor. Yeah. Friendliness. Friendliness? What do you mean with that?
Oh, right. So if you’re in a bad mood and you meet somebody who who is friendly Yeah. That that can lift your mood. Very much so. Yeah.
What does what does a stranger have to do in order to be friendly? Just smile. Smile. Okay. Then Mhmm.
And focus a little more. So it’s friendly and uplifted mind. Because that’s what I hear you saying. Yeah. I’m going to interpret this, right?
It’s like why does this work? You know, we are in that negative state and we if we see somebody like this, it’s almost like they remind us, oh, yeah. You know? It works because, I I don’t know, that they you’re important enough to respond to. Uh-huh.
Something we have to understand. I think if you’re feeling I like you or you’re important or Probably appreciate you or acknowledge you. Yeah. Makes us feel good. You have to go.
He’s not leaving because he doesn’t like her. He’s gonna test my self esteem. And what do you need to be reassured? What I heard was like there was a recognition, you know, that he said that somebody finds that you’re important enough and there is an assurance assurance of you are okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Mhmm. And comfort of the other things that are important. How do we get comfort? So if you feel depressed sorry.
Can I if you feel very depressed and somebody says, yeah? Yeah. I can understand why you feel like that and you’re right and, you know, it’s okay that you feel like that. And does it help you to get out of that? Yeah.
I can hear what you’re saying. Validating from that point of view, but then giving that reassurance and comfort and Yeah. You know, that it doesn’t have to be like that. Yeah. But it’s still validating.
Okay. So it’s feeling the real for you. Yes. So I think this a little bit of culture where there is a tendency to say, Ah, don’t feel like that, isn’t it? There is that not acknowledgement of, I’m coming from a different culture and at first I think, What are you talking about?
But now I hear what you’re saying. And I think, yes, it’s very important that first that feeling is recognized before you can go to the uplifting. Isn’t it? So, think this culture has a little bit of a tendency to not pay any attention to the down where we can feel, which means we have to ignore it or pretend it’s not there, and that means that we cannot get out of it. Very difficult to get out of that.
You first need that. Yes. Yes. And then Yes. And then you go up.
So then how can you go up after this? How? Yeah. Would you need after this? I might go up with perspective.
Perspective? Yep. Yep. And the centring comes after that. It just comes.
Yeah. If you allowed to go down, you think you come up. So what about the and So what about the people who are depressed? I guess it’s a matter of Because for some people, it doesn’t come. Doesn’t.
Changing changing the thought. Mhmm. And and creating the vision for the. Kind of thoughts would help? Mhmm.
So, some people need the validation and say it’s okay that you are like that. And some people you say it’s okay like that you are like that, but there was a choice. Strength. You have you don’t have to sit powerless in this feeling. There’s a way out.
But for some people, it takes a long time. That list that we have here is a chemical imbalance. But but this is chemically imbalanced. Right? Some people.
Everybody. I’m not a doctor. So that’s that’s what I mean, I’m trying to So with whatever feeling that we have, there is a chemical thing with it. You know? So when we really feel good, you know, our hormones are very nice and balanced and we have the feeling of, oh, yeah, yeah, I’m I’m good.
If we feel I’m not so good, there is a disbalance, there is a change in the chemicals, you know. It’s like they go together. It’s like they they are the feelings represents the chemicals, but also the chemicals represent the feelings. It’s like they they they go together. And for us, it’s very difficult to influence the chemicals, but we do have techniques to look at other side, you know.
So, yes, if people are really depressed, very difficult to get out of there. And sometimes no matter what you say, it’s not good because that’s this that’s part of their depression. Is it? What is that? Empathy.
Yeah. Feeling a connection? Yeah. This can be a bridge that opens the heart. What do we need?
How do we get to the light? If we feel in that mood that we have here and we see the child running after the butterfly trying to catch it, what does it do? Uh-huh. It can just, that one thing can just take us out of there, isn’t it? And I’m not talking about a really deep, I mean, is a moment that we can be taken out of that, right?
I’ve had many moments in my life that that butterfly didn’t work. You know, no matter how many butterflies there were out there, I didn’t see any butterfly, you know, I don’t want to see any butterflies. I don’t like butterflies. So you need the right moment, but that can be the thing that lifts you out. Right?
So, if we know the things that can lift us out, we can somehow pay more attention to these things, because we know the power that they have. If we know, oh, when I meet this and this and this and somehow my mind goes into another direction. Right? Knowing that means that when my mind goes into the negativity, have the knowledge how what I need in order to go to the change. Because when we are negative, very difficult to think how can I make a positive change in my mind?
So it’s almost like destruction. Destruction of the negativity. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Yes. Yes. That’s all. Yeah. Yeah.
For some people, that’s true. You know? It’s like some people really need that. And I think maybe with everything you need a validation. But there are also depressions if you validate too much, it’s even more difficult to get out of it.
Yeah. There was a very fine line halfway go. Yeah. Yeah. Once they Yeah.
So so so music helps you to find that connection. Yeah. And that connection helps you to come out of it. Because it’s a a universal experience. Yeah.
Of being sad and heavy and It’s it’s normal. We’re not We all have it. All have it. I don’t accept it as normal. We all have it.
We all have it. We all suffer from it. It’s not normal. We have adopted it as normal. It’s not part of the natural state of the mind.
So I refused to do that. It helped me to get out of it. Sorry? That’s a very enlightened perspective. Yes, because I’ve accepted.
I will be, you know, I might have been stuck in my depression. If I believe that that is normal, being depressed, oh, so many people have depression, you know, one in the five Australians is going to suffer from depression. If we see what the core is of the depression, why, what it is created around, you know, me, me, me, I’m hopeless, I’m worthless, I’m, you know, everything I’ve done is not good enough and If you can see that and if you can see that’s just a story, you know, and it’s not that easy to turn it around. It’s not that easy, but it can be turned around. It’s just a story at the same time.
In order to change that story we need something, we need a connection, we need the comfort, the care, the empathy, the humor, the listener. We need we need all these qualities in it. Do we have sorry? Okay. So now go to my next question.
How can we do we have these qualities? And if not, what do we need in order to develop these qualities? So, what I would like you to do is think about that in a little group, you know, so finding another partner and think how can I access these qualities because when I can access these I do not need necessarily another person, right? Although another person is very valid and very nice, I actually can offer this to other people. I can become person that people can see, Oh, if I talk to that person I will feel better, you know, then we can help many, many people.
Then we are like an example. We know how to get happy. We know if we have this we feel very good and we can share that and we can give that. Okay? Is that is that a clear question?
So, no? Okay. If we have these qualities ourselves, we we have a certain we know that people with these qualities, there is a happiness there, there is a kind of contentment, there is a quality there that we like that helps us to take us out of a heavy mood. What do we need to do in order to develop these qualities in ourselves? And you can see maybe you already have some of these.
And you say, oh, I’m actually quite a good listener and I do not have any judgment, but my humor is not so good. And how can I develop that better? By, I don’t know, you come up with whatever, use your creativity. Okay? So if you find somebody else that you haven’t spoken with yet, list the qualities and maybe write them down because that can be very helpful if you go home and tomorrow morning you read them and you think, oh, yeah.
Yeah. I’m gonna try to be more like this and to be more like that. Okay? Is that clear, the Difficult question? No.
Not difficult. It is thinking. It is it is thinking. And I want you to think, you know, because you have your own inner wisdom and Yeah. Have to swap.
Swap. You have to swap. There is another guy looking for somebody. Here we here we have somebody who wants to swap. You just just one of you gets up and and swaps there with them.
One of them. Where does he go? Oh. I’m left over. That’s not cutting.
Go and sit here with Jen. Can you share the three of you with Utah? Yeah. Utah. You need a cushion, Utah?
You alright with the questions? Yep. Okay. Another way of saying this another way of saying this is can I give a tip? What do I have to let go in order to get to these qualities?
You know, sometimes we feel like in order to be a good listener, I have to let go of my impatient nature or my whatever, my busyness or make more time or Developing qualities is not just creating something, it’s also letting go of something. It’s both. Try think of also about what do I have to let go in order to create good qualities. Okay. What is obstructing me?
And then if you have an a little bit of an idea, just a little bit. We won’t do the whole thing tonight. Can I take this away? So what do we need to do in order to develop these qualities in ourselves? Or I said to some people, what do we stop?
What do we have to stop doing in order for these qualities in order to allow these qualities to rise? Stop me me me. Stop Me. You say it all in one sentence. What else can we do?
Stop me. What else can we do? That’s a very, very big one. But then how do we stop mimicking? Because that me me me is there all the time.
By being mindful. Being mindful? And practicing the quality of the. Yeah. How would you do that practically?
Meditation? Would you sit with a list and say, no, this is really it’s like that’s the main thing. How do I do it? Because we can talk about it. But then you really have to put it into practice, and it’s not easy.
Our whole system works in a very different direction. Right? So I’m serious when I say, how do we do that practically? If you you can write them down and you can say in the morning. No?
Yeah. Why is that? Yes. They need practice. Where does the practice start?
Yeah. So what you’re doing is you put yourself in circumstances where you have to think about other people. Is that what you’re saying? I’m just checking. No.
No. No. I just I think there’s a bunch of different use. Or do you say, I’m gonna wait until something happens that attracts these qualities in me? Can I can I finish this with Steve?
I don’t want him to walk away from this. No. It’s an important thing because I think many of us, you know, it’s that is how we do it at the moment. We wait till the circumstances arise and then we have that experience and we think, wow, that felt really, really good. But then we have to wait till the next time it comes up.
And then we’re very dependent on whatever arises around us, which means that we the happiness that we can experience in life, completely project it outside onto external circumstances. I have to wait till this happens before I can have this good feeling. I think we can do much better. But then I hear you saying, oh, yeah. But if you do it like this, it’s just an intellectual exercise, and you think that’s not useful, so you only have one option.
And I don’t agree with that, but that’s what I heard you saying. Is that right? That that’s that’s what you feel. Or do you have another way of practicing? I wanna finish this.
Millie, what do think? I see you. Because I can also think, what is what is your profession? Can I ask it? You’re a teacher.
So as a teacher, you are for instance, okay, as a teacher, how old are the children? Oh, twelve or eighteen. So they have already preconceptions and let go a little bit of that delightful attitude. No, no, no. I’m serious.
If you are, for instance, a teacher and you work with little kids who are constantly having this mind, that helps to lift up our own mind and these qualities come out better, you know. So then there are circumstances that you look for, that you create around you, that help you for these qualities to arise. So you as a teacher, you might find with dealing with your students that maybe this is very important in your work. That you do not have maybe the opportunity to talk about me, me, me because you’re constantly caring about others. So your work creates a circumstance that you don’t have to do that.
I do think that when you retire, you know, then you do not know what’s going to happen. If you if this starts to grow, because you lose the people around you who helped you not to develop this. I don’t know, you have to see. I think thinking about me, me, me and thinking about how not to let that me, me, me becomes so powerful, although it is an intellectual exercise, although it is very artificial, especially in the beginning, you know, if you put yourself in that position, at a certain point it might become a little bit more familiar, and then it becomes more familiar, it becomes a little bit more natural. And then slowly, slowly, it starts to sink deeper.
And then slow then at a certain point, it will it will touch your heart. You know? Yes. In the beginning, it is artificial. To?
Yeah. Yeah. And I have to Yeah. So you have to exercise that. Yeah.
How did the engineers get happy? Okay. You how do you do it? Because you can take it to her work. She can take it to her work.
I don’t know how they do it. I’m trying to find out. How do you do it? Well, I’m around them. So that helps.
Right. Do you think that they think about you that you’re unhappy person? Well, sometimes they they might think I’m happy, and other times they might think I’m not happy. Okay. So when you’re happy, what is it that makes you happy?
Okay. I see it’s my first being a tree. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So that’s the delight.
Yeah. You pay attention to these. So you’re mindful of these things. Yes. Where is the beauty?
Is that out there or is that in your mind? In the perception. So that’s is that perspective? Who was talking about perspective? You were you both were talking.
And you said it’s the most important thing, perspective, because? Is it? Yes. Why? I don’t know.
Bye bye. I was just on time, Thank you. No. But I was just on time to catch you with that one. Thank you very much for coming.
Why is perspective the opposite of me, me, me? Entirely what’s going on with you. How was it affecting you? Yeah. So with with perspective, you mean that you open up and that you widen your view and Uh-huh.
So how do you create perspective? But you said when I have perspective, get the other qualities. So said, so where do you start? No, I want to hear this. Where do you start?
Because I wanted to be practical, you know? This is this is a theory. You go in circles. If I need that, I go that, and if I need that, I go that. I want to hear practically.
So what is empathy? When does that arise in the mind? When does empathy arise in the mind? Yeah. Yeah.
Their happiness or their suffering? Both. Yeah. And you put yourself in their their shoes, and you think what what they feel, and then, you know, your heart might open up. The me me me the moment that you start doing that, you the me me me gets less.
Do we recognize that? How many times do we practice that on a day? Do you? Two? Okay.
It’s hard, isn’t it, to get out of that small little world and really be there for others. This is so safe, comfy. This can be very painful and and uncomfortable. When yes. Yes.
True. But when you end up me, me, me, and the other is not there, can you do it yourself? Can you? Yeah. It it How?
That that that requires exercise, and that that requires becoming familiar with that. Because in the beginning we feel like, no, I need somebody from outside. We are so needy. We think we depend emotionally completely on others. We do not have yet, you know, I think the sixteen guidelines is about finding that strength in yourself where you are emotionally independent, where you do not need others to fulfill your feeling of happiness, you know, it’s an inner quality that you have.
As soon as you can find that and as soon as you practice that, you can give it to anybody and you do not need anything back from anybody, you know. So that’s the strength that you can create with this. And yes, you really need exercise because we are not naturally there, but it is a natural state of our mind. So, when we remove our delusions, when we stop doing that me, me, me, you know, and sometimes, I don’t know, sometimes it takes a lot of contemplation before you can even start doing the practice, you know. So I do not completely agree with Steve that at an intellectual level it doesn’t work.
I think I studied studied a lot about that mind, me, me, me, you know. And then after five years of study I had to give my first course in transforming problems and I thought, oh, what this is all about? I didn’t really feel before that what it was about, you know. So but I needed all that knowledge before I could actually really make the step inside. And really, you know, giving that me me me up in order because you see that you actually can benefit others.
And sometimes when somebody comes with problems, we say, that’s not the right time for me, you know, how do I get out of here? Or that is the practice moment that we can say, I’m going to stay and I’m going to try to change my attitude inside. Knowing that that is going to free you from that very cramped mind, you know, and that it’s going to open up and that it’s going to make you better. Not just the other person, but also you’re going to feel better. And if you have really that knowledge and that wisdom, you are prepared to do that.
Right? If you believe, oh, it’s just going to cost me time and I’m going to be too late there, I’m going to miss my dinner, my dinner will be cold and if you only see the negatives, you know, you’d never want to do it. But if you see, actually this is my opportunity to create more happiness, then you really see why, you know, then you’re prepared to do it. And then you start creating the causes to be more happy. And it happens straight away.
The moment you put it into practice, the feeling of more happiness is there. So I think practicing delight can be very easy, very easy, but it is very difficult because we it’s so long ago that it was so easy for us, you know. If you look at children, it’s so easy to be delightful, but because it’s so far away for us. So we have to make a bridge between where we are right now and how we were as children, or how it is to have that light, you know, that that joyous, delightful feeling of a child. And we do not have to become like children, but we can start looking at what is it that can give me that feeling.
And I heard things like, you said a few things, the smile on your son’s face, beautiful sunrise. Oh, for in Normandy. Go to the beach. What do you see? What what is the delight?
Oh, it’s always the perspective of of appreciating the beauty. Yeah. And that’s a very Appreciation of beauty. Yeah. But if we are depressed and we go to the beach, how do we find beauty?
Because that is the hard part, it? When we’re already a little bit in this mood, then it’s very easy going to the beach and more the light. Fresh air. Fresh air is very good. That helps the the light coming.
Freeze and the earth. That can take away the the negativity. It’s like washing the clothes. Are you aware of that cleansing when you go to the beach and, yeah, if you walk? Right.
So there is a resistance. Yes. It is. It is. It is.
It’s not easy. You know? I’m attached to the negativity. We are attached to the negativity, which makes it so difficult to go to that delightful place. So in order to get there, that’s why I keep on asking, you know, not because I do not know it.
But Okay. Can we do something with that? That’s good what you’re saying. It’s all true what you’re saying. Right?
It’s like it’s like letting go of that me, me, me, connecting with the bigger picture. Overcoming dualistic thinking. Overcoming dualistic thinking. How do we get there? This what kind of idea comes when you hear this?
Because what he’s saying is true. You know? But I think it’s sometimes it feels like I think for some people, might be more difficult to get there. So I I wanna hear a a more it’s like we are looking for a bridge. Yeah.
I’ll try to set intention. Very good. So first of all, setting the intention. Yes. Yes.
But once you set the intention, like, if you have the intention to develop the light, then I hear you talk about beauty. Right? So so looking for something that is beautiful, does that help to lift up the mind? No? For you, it doesn’t.
For some people, it does. I guess who for who does it help? For you. Okay. For some so you look for something beautiful.
That’s that’s a help. That’s like a bridge. Hope. Look for hope. Does that help?
Yeah. Help for you. Yeah. So when you are in the depression, where does the thought come from that you actually can get out of it? Yeah.
I would say at the moment I hope we are not so depressed that we can exercise that, you know, because getting into a negative feeling, it’s a habit, and it’s a habit that has many aspects. And if we start to see the habit and understand the habit, then we can also see what we can do to get out of it. And if we are in quite a reasonable space, all these the me, me me and all the qualities that come with that, the heaviness and the depression and the cynicism, they are also there, maybe not so strong, but you have just a normal day, you know, you’re quite content, but just know. These days you can use to say I’m going to practice delight. I’m going to, when I go to my work, I’m going to find at least one or two or three things that make me smile.
And when I’m on my work, I’m going to look, you know, in the morning before I have my first cup of coffee I want to have two things that make me smile. So then you practice the mind and the light. And the more you do that, you know, you create a kind of habit. I know how to do that. I know how to do that.
When you know how to do that, when you really go down with your feeling, you know how to do it. Right? What we normally do is we wait till we’re done in depression and then we think how do I get out of here? And we have no tools. Very, very, very difficult.
But if you have the tool how to get out of it, then even when you see yourself going in depression, say I’m not going to go there. I’m going to look at this. I distract myself from my depression. Right? We do not have to go there.
We can focus on the delight. This will still continue, but it doesn’t worry us, because our mind is engaged into something else. Right? It can become that that easy, but it’s good if we practice when we feel not too low. Right?
When we feel alright. And I think, you know, what what you said, nobody smiles at my work. They’re all if we’ll if we’ll if we make it more a habit to smile, to allow these smiles to come, you know, then life becomes easier. True? And then we can inspire people around us.
Although, it doesn’t work here at your work. Coffee. Uh-huh. I have to do that for two weeks, and then by the end of the two weeks, maybe the things will jump out at you rather than you have to think about that. Uh-huh.
And so he’s probably down the bottom at the moment, but it’s me making him accountable and asking where my email is Yeah. Yes. But you give him a training, you know, and you’re he’s trained on how. And next time next time he might remember, oh, you know, that worked. And he might come to you and say, can I send you an email?
And then maybe the third time, he doesn’t need you anymore for that because he knows how to do it. Oh, I just have to remember. Won’t do it for himself. No. So I asked him Yes.
What where is it? Yes. Sometimes we need that, you know, because we do not have that self esteem that we can do that for ourselves. And I think if you start practicing, we I mean, if we would have that practice naturally in our daily life, we do not need to come here and learn how to do it. We forgot how to do that.
It’s like going to the gym. We need a gym because they have the training schemes and say, do this and this and this and this, and this will happen to you. You will your body will become like this. This is very similar, and it’s like I like that how you give him a job. So another thing, I think, how we can practice delight or it’s maybe not another thing.
You can think, for instance, at the end of the day, what did I do right today? What went well? And rejoice in that. And say to yourself, wow, well done, because we need that. We need acknowledgment.
And what we normally do is we send out signals to the environment and say, please acknowledge me, please acknowledge me. But if we give it to ourselves and recognize that was really good that I did that and are happy about that, right? Or even if you meet, you know, certain nice circumstances, or if you have seen something beautiful, or, you know, sometimes you you experience something, you think, wow, how did this happen? You know, and you’re grateful for that. And then you can so do that first.
Think about the good things that happened to you. And then if you wanna rejoice more, and I think it’s a very easy thing to practice because you can do it without anything around you. You know? You can just sit on your cushion and you think you’re gonna rejoice about the things that happen to people that you know. Wow.
You know this person, I don’t know, wrote a song, such a beautiful song, and had an opportunity to sing. You’re gonna come and sing on Saturday night here? Yeah? Have a we have a party here on Saturday night. Oh, yeah.
If you can bring it. We have a kind of end of the year party with a kind of concert that anybody who wants can perform, you know, he can make jokes. You can, you know, bring your whole delight and share community. Do have something? I have my son on Saturday.
Oh, alright. You said bring him to the office. Yeah. Bring your son. Yeah.
You can bring him. Yes. Yes. It’s from seven till ten, I think. Yes, we’re just going to have fun, you know.
So you so you can think about about things that happen to people close around you and be happy with it, just small things. And you can start thinking about, you know, make the picture bigger and think about all the good things that people do in life. I mean, there’s so many people out there working to help others, working to help the environment, working to help, I don’t know, prevent wars, work to help to solve the financial crisis, work to help in a hospital, you know, with with as a doctor, work whatever as a teacher, like Steve, work with the kids to to make them happy. So many places where people are working the whole day to make other people happy. You can rejoice in that and think, wonderful is that?
How wonderful that these people are constantly doing that? How wonderful. And then you can think about maybe the people that you have a little bit of trouble with, you know, or feel competitive with, and you start rejoicing in their good fortune. How wonderful that this person got that job hurts a little bit, but, you know, try to rejoice, try to think how wonderful it is for that person, and it will your hurt will disappear. If you really have the empathy for the other person and you really rejoice that that person had a good fortune, your hurt will go.
Right? So rejoice in that. And then you can go, I don’t know, make it as big as you want. Rejoice in all the goodness. And you can think about the spiritual teachers who work.
You can think about the saints. You can think about anybody. And what happens in the mind, and I’ve I don’t know if you have seen that tonight, when we start thinking about rejoicing it was like the energy lifts and suddenly the smiles are going to come and it’s there for nothing, you know. Just you have to think about it and, oh yeah, can remember, oh yeah, can remember. And lifting the mind, you know, the chemicals change.
Right? We can that is how you can regulate our hormones, our hormones. Hormones, it’s that easy. It’s just when we feel down, it’s not that easy to think about something nice, but that’s how what we have to train our mind at. So in the beginning, it might be a little bit artificial.
I’m not really happy, but they say that if I do do something good, I will be happy, you know? So I’ll do it. I don’t really believe in that, but I’ll do it, you know? And it can be that that is the attitude that you have the first time that you do something good or the first time that you rejoice. It feels like, you know, it’s it’s just a thought, but there is no feeling in it.
But that is how you can start. And then you do it again, and you do it again, and you do it again. My teacher says when you wake up the morning, the first thing you think is, wow, I’m still alive. I didn’t die last night. How wonderful is that?
You know, rejoice in the fact that you are alive. It’s that simple, you know, but it’s not an easy practice to do, especially if you wake up depressed. It’s not easy. But when you keep on doing it, I heard from a few nuns a long time ago, you know, they oh yeah, the teacher says this and this and oh yeah, as if that worked. And then they decided, you know what, we’re going to really try it and we’re going to pretend that we are really happy.
So they woke up together and said, wow, I’m still alive. How fantastic is that? Within no time, their moods lifted, you know, and it felt like it works. If I really do it, it works. It’s that simple.
Yes. Yes. All these guidelines. It’s up to you to do it. And I think that’s why I kept on asking it, and I’m sorry if that felt uncomfortable.
But it’s like how do we make it practical? Because the only way how we can get is when we do step by step by step. And sometimes we have to, you know, everybody needs a different step to feel like, oh yeah, I can make that step. So I was looking for how can we make the steps easier or more visible or more conscious because we have to do that consciously. It’s not going to happen without any effort.
You know? But when we put it in and we really try it, it will come. Okay? Good. Shall we leave it like that?
Yeah. Maybe we just take a a minute to dedicate just for a while. We could play. Is that alright? Dedication is just that we somehow you preserve all the goodness that we generated and just feel how you feel at the moment.
Feel if there is any sense of delight. Feel as feel if your mind has lifted, even if it’s just a tiny bit. And if your mind is not lifted anymore, think about a moment from tonight that your mind did lift up and how that felt. And think how wonderful. When something good comes to my mind, my mind lifts up.
How wonderful. So I can help my mind to bring goodness in there, to think about good things, and my mind will lift up. And when my mind lifts up, a smile can come on my face. And when smile even to a stranger, that person can start feeling good, feeling acknowledged, feeling worthwhile, and his or her mind is lifted up. So a mind that is uplifted is very powerful, can transform a whole community.
And that can community can be as big as the world. But even if it’s in your family or in your workplace, that’s good enough. You know? Just start where you are. And just pass that uplifted mind on to the people who are around you.
With the hope that somehow this will lead to happiness of all living beings. I’m gonna thank you for coming, for doing the hard work. Next time, we’re gonna talk about how we act. So this is the thinking. And with the thinking, we have counteracted the four main delusions.
And then next time, we say how how are we gonna act? And we’re gonna start with kindness, talking about kindness. Okay? Hope to see you back or on Saturday. Please come on Saturday and have fun with us.
Bring your mom. You can’t? I can’t. You alright? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So that makes like always?