Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Ven Jampa Gendun opens this 36-minute talk by drawing a parallel between Buddhist practice and psychotherapy, sparked by a visiting therapist who described how self-perpetuating cycles trap people in familiar suffering. He frames the core problem through eight hopes and fears of ego-based existence — success/failure, praise/blame, and so on — then argues that wisdom means finding a third alternative beyond these dualities. This point lands through the Catch-22 story of a bomber pilot who, rather than accept being labelled hero or villain, simply starts rowing toward Sweden. The talk then turns to bonding as a biological necessity and how love and compassion represent the healthiest form of connection. It closes with a guided meditation: compassion cultivation for a sick woman, breath-counting, choiceless awareness, and a sky-visualization exercise.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 01 HoM 1993 04 07.mp3
UUID: 88aec669-53f7-400d-81cc-f205c21392e0
Teacher: Ven Jampa Gendun
Collection: The Heart and Mind of Awakening (Ven Jampa Gendun)
Date: 1993-04-07
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 36.3 minutes
Words: ~4,055
Is it on? Can you answer? Is it better now? Oh, thank you. Yeah.
Yesterday, Tuesdays I have family therapy studies. And yesterday we had quite an inspiring woman who visited us, gave an all day workshop from New South Wales. She had Her husband died when she was in her early forties. And she decided to She wanted to become a psychologist, so she went to the university and she studied, and then she studied with various private individuals to learn more about the methods. Different ways of working with people.
And now she’s in her perhaps middle sixty’s and she’s quite an extremely highly respected individual in the field. She’s quite excellent. Think I was tremendously impressed by the caring that permeated in everything that she said. The real love that she has for her clients. I mean she went to went so far as to say that she does love her clients.
They’re very important to her. And it was quite an inspiration. And I thought some of the things that she was talking about I thought were quite relevant in terms of what therapy might be about. Because in many ways I think Buddhism is a type of therapy. Or maybe better said therapy is a type of Buddhism.
I don’t know. But anyway, trying to point out the consequences of our present of the present situation if we don’t change the rules are under which we’re being influenced. If we don’t if there’s not if what is going to occur if nothing changes? What can we expect down the road? What are the consequences if things remain very much the same?
You know that in We’re very much, as Buddhism would put it, calling it cyclic existence. We’re very much caught in a self perpetuating system, a negative feedback system, which tends to perpetuate itself. The same themes, the same patterns, the same experiences keep reoccurring over the course of our lives, in the course of a single relationship. Pointing this out so that we become concerned. Concerned enough to begin to confront, you know, unfounded hopes.
I talk about these eight principal preoccupations of what I call ego based existence. Our hopes and our fears. Our hopes of happiness, our fears of unhappiness, hopes for success, our fears of failure, our hopes of connectedness, our fears of rejection, our hopes of being valued by others, our fear of being negated by others. That in a way these are the primary influences, the rules governing our life at present. And these sort of lock us into specific ways of acting and reacting.
Ways of responding. Ways of relating. Which perpetuate the dissatisfactory situation that most of us find ourselves in. So pointing out the consequences if this situation is allowed to Go on as it is without change. You know, developing the notion, the insight that change is necessary and therefore going beyond our hopes.
Hopes, I mean, in terms of kind of a wishful attitude that things will get better even if the rules remain the same. Even if, you know, that things can remain very much the same, but somehow it’s going to evolve into a happy situation. This is what I call hope. A sort of irrational, wishful attitude that things will get better and still remain the same. That nothing will have to change.
And most profoundly, that oneself will not have to change. Because there’s fear. So there has to be not only a working through our hopes, but a working through our fears. Our fears of unhappiness, our fears of failure, our fears of rejection, our fears of not being valued or connected with others. So maybe, you know, all of Buddhism is in a way trying to point out the nature of our situation, the types of rules that we’re living under.
That is to say the various attitudes, various beliefs, the ideals, the premises which are operating in our lives. These are the rules by which we which govern our lives, which constitute the way we think, the way we communicate, the way we act in the world. And beginning to point out there are alternatives. You know, that we have a choice, that we don’t have to remain victims. So becoming aware of the situation that we’re in.
But more importantly, becoming aware that there are alternatives. Alternative attitudes that we can begin to develop. You know, that we can make a choice between whether we react with anger or tolerance, whether with attachment or letting go, whether through rejoicing or jealousy, whether through ignorance or wisdom, that we can begin to perhaps not all at once, but we can tend toward the direction which we prefer, which seems to be preferable, which will bring about the outcomes which are enhancing to our life, which will begin to help us to facilitate expressing deeply held values that which we find meaning in, that which feels right for us. You know, although Buddhism is trying to show us the necessity for change and is trying to assist us by implementing the methods whereby change can take place and helping us to confront the issues of our fears and helping us work through our hopes. You know, don’t quite there’s a lot of resistance to change both within internally but also externally within the system that we’re operating.
There’s a lot of negative feedback which will inhibit change. So we have to really develop a firm determination. In terms of the Buddhist terminology we call this the determination to awaken. When it becomes clear, when you begin to see the nature of your situation and its evolution, and begin to see the possible outcomes if nothing in fact does change. You know that Buddhism doesn’t works on the level of change in terms of our internal attitude.
You know, we can change a lot of things in our life. We can get another job. We can get another partner. We move to another place, another town. And we can work with our situations in terms of external factors.
But Buddhism puts primary concern in what is the rules, our internal rules which are governing our reactions, the way we’re relating. Beginning to determine the alternative to the various attitudes that we now possess which perhaps perhaps aren’t working. So it becomes from the Buddhist perspective learning about our situation, how it evolved, and becoming aware that we have an alternative. That we can begin to make choices every day. And beginning to point out what those alternatives are.
And assist this change, facilitate this transformation, this choice of other values by means of various methods. Methods of determining to grow, determining to awaken, the awakening heart, and the awakening mind. So I think we are in some way always choosing whether we’re conscious of this choice or not. Almost every moment of our lives we’re making a choice. The the the as Don Juan says, It is the choice it is the consistent choice of the path with heart which makes the warrior different than the ordinary person.
You know, the path with heart is that which brings some sort of inner peace that fulfills some inner need. That’s why we always begin with this redirecting process, getting in touch with some of our central values, our most deeply cherished beliefs, what is important to me. Because the path is experienced in terms of satisfying our basic sanity, that which resonates at a very deep level of our being. Now this is where the choosing takes place, whether we choose the Buddha within side of ourselves or we choose to perpetuate this ego based existence which we’re caught up within at the moment. You know, we’re consistently making a choice.
The difference is that we need to make a consistent choice in terms of our most cherished values, our innermost sanity, our basic intelligence. So continually getting in touch, reorientating ourselves. And then our basic sanity begins to express itself. And then our choice is made in the light of our own wisdom, our own values, what works for me. And then there’s some kind of path which evolves.
There’s always a tension in the course of our life involved in choosing process. And it’s trying to decide between alternatives. And the dissolution of this tension is the development of wisdom. The discriminative appreciation in terms of what satisfies myself at a very deep level of my own being. So this level of one’s own being we call Buddha.
So the inner focus of our life becomes Buddha. Know, appealing everything to the discrimination of Buddha within side of ourselves. That which is going to the determining factor which is going to evolve from which evolves some kind of direction, some kind of path, some kind of alternative, some kind of solution of our problems at a very deep level. Which takes Buddha is that which goes beyond fear, goes beyond hope, beyond all of these dualities. And then this resolution of tension between dualities is Buddha, the inner focus of our life.
Beyond all the ups and downs, all the hopes and fears, all the dualities, the conflicts, the tensions, there is the third path. And I don’t know if there was a It’s been quite a number of years. I think it was about twenty from about nineteen seventy two. There was a movie Catch-twenty two. And perhaps some of you read the book.
It just came to mind. You have to forgive me. I’m kind of free associating here. And this it took place. I think they were running running bombing raids over Italy, perhaps.
Northern Italy from Sicily. Just guessing. And this this one bomber pilot navigator, they couldn’t drop their bombs on on their target. And they knew that if they didn’t take out that target that day, they’d have to come back to do the same thing tomorrow. It would be much more dangerous tomorrow because they would be expected.
So he just turned around and went back over the target, which was quite an unusual thing to do. And he took the whole entire squadron back over the target. They bombed the target and they were quite successful in their raid. So they came back and they landed. And it came the situation evolved that this the the squadron leader of this flight was either going to be made a hero or they were gonna put him in prison.
They couldn’t quite figure out what to do with him because this was he he obeyed all of the rules, all of the orders of going back over the target a second time. That’s never been done before. It was unheard of. So they weren’t quite sure whether to make him a hero because he did go back over the target. It would appear that he risked his own life and the life of his squadron and succeeded in his mission.
They were going to send him back to America and have a ticker tape parade in his honor, showing what a brave person he was. Or he broke all the rules in the book and they were just gonna put him in military prison. And they were debating which one they should do. In the meanwhile, I don’t know if you some of you saw the movies. He he took off.
He went on a mission, and he purposely downed his his plane, and he just started rowing to Sweden. Sweden was a neutral country. Sweden is probably, what, about ten thousand miles by ocean from Sicily. So he took, you know It was like he was involved in this in some kind of duality. He was either gonna be a hero or he was going to be a villain.
And he decided to opt out of that particular system. That you know, this bind that he was in. That is to say, he was going to exercise choice in his life. He was not going to be the victim of outside authority. He took a third alternative.
That is that he transcended the duality in his life. He exercised his freedom. He just began rowing out in the ocean. Whether he made it or not is perhaps not all that important. The important message, if there was a message in the movie at all, was that he made a choice.
He made a choice not to remain a victim. Whether he was made a hero or a villain was secondary. He was still a victim even if he was made a hero. It wasn’t it wasn’t in his volition. It was not his choice.
He was simply the product of propaganda, what was needed by outside influences. So he took his life in his own hand. He took the third alternative, that is the transcending all the dualities. Our life is very much based upon hopes and fears, upon the hope of gain, the fear of loss, the hope of success, the fear of failure, the hope of praise, the fear of criticism, the hope of fame, the fear of blame. You know, we’re always constantly involved in these tensions.
And do it is wisdom which resolves this tension by taking, by transcending this dualism, by finding a way out. The third alternative which is always there before our eyes, is always an option if we’re willing to go beyond our hopes and fears. And that is to say, we can opt for freedom. We can opt for for the Buddha withinside of ourselves. To listen to our deeply and most cherished values.
To adhere to something which feels right at the most basic level of our being. To seek to express our basic sanity in our life. To act authentically. That’s beyond all of the dualisms that we are confronted with, that we are confused by and in conflict in every day of our And then there’s some we find some kind of way in our life. There’s a great sense of satisfaction, a great peace.
So this is this is like our life’s work I think. To whether we get there or not, whether we can make it to Sweden and safety or not is perhaps not that important, but making that choice. Choosing Buddha inside of ourselves. And the way that we can implement this choice in very practical means is through the Dharma. The methods by means which we are actualized Buddha.
This alternative, this transcendence, this unfolding, this path within the social context of a spiritual community. And we try to raise the level of our motivation such that we’re not traveling this path just for ourselves. Not simply to escape from the tensions and the conflicts of ego based existence. But so that we can be of real use to others. That we can be of real use to ourselves.
It’s interesting. Another point this woman was making and the very basis of her workshop was around the notion of bonding. That the different types of bonds which take place, take place at birth, take place over infancy, adolescence, and finally into adulthood. And some of these bonds are quite secure, some are insecure, some are what are called Ambivalent bonding. But whatever type of bonding takes place, it was interesting that she brought over the point very powerfully that bonding is, from her point of view, is a biological instinct.
You know, the very notion of bonding amongst gregarious animals and beings necessitates that they come together, that their very survival is dependent upon others. You know, the baby lamb is born. And the baby lamb and the sheep, the mother, the ewe, are bonded. And whatever happens, the baby lamb, you know, it’s always running alongside its mother. And whatever happens, the mother is always seeking out, looking after the welfare of her lamb.
There’s this bond that occurs. If that bond wasn’t there, there’s a very good chance that the lamb would die. All the various species. And this holds equally true for human beings. As I’ve mentioned before, and I think this was confirmed by some of my thinking that human beings are social beings, we’re gregarious, that we come together.
And bonding is quite necessary. Various levels of bonding, primary bonding, secondary bonding. But whatever level that might be, whatever distortions it may take, however healthy it might be, that bonding is quite a need for us. And finding healthy way of connecting. Bonding simply means the way that we relate with others, way of connecting that we need others in our life, for life to have any meaning at all, that we are social beings.
It’s not as if we have a choice in it as it were. It’s not simply something which can add on to the quality of life. And a bonus if we have nice relationships. But it is interwoven in the very fabric of our being. What it means to be a healthy, loving, sane human being necessarily involves healthy ways of bonding, relating, interrelating with others.
So the healthiest way is in terms of raising the level of our motivation. So that in terms of our love and compassion, these qualities which we call love and compassion are simply what has come down to be known as the healthiest, most profound, most meaningful ways of relating with others and bonding. We call them love and compassion with whatever. And so if we can continually Re emphasizing within our own mind the necessity. Re developing this motivation, reorienting, redirecting ourselves toward the expression of love and compassion, trying to find these ways of connecting with others, you know, trying to make it the essential force in your life on why you do what you do.
Then I think we will have solved a great deal of our difficulties in life in very practical terms. We will have found some really deep answer to this real deep solution to most of our problem. Because it’s one of the most deepest solutions to our problems is found through love and through compassion. You know, as I’ve often said, one of our most basic problems is that we’re completely wrapped up in our own problems. We have not seen the dysfunctional quality of that type of attitude up to now.
And reminding ourselves that these rules of how we’re relating with others are not working, and that we need to change the rules by means of which we operate, by under which we relate with others. The rules of love and compassion. Of beginning to shift our psychological center of gravity from self centeredness to other centeredness. That path, development of compassion, development of wisdom, to resolve all of the dualities, the conflicts, both in terms of our conceptual modes of thinking and in terms of our ways of relating with others. And then all of the conflict, all of the alienation, the separation, the tension, the distress, I think kind of will ease and some kind of peace will resolve.
I go for refuge until I’m enlightened to the Buddha that I’m in the highest assembly. In the virtuous merit that I collect by practicing giving and the other perfections, may I attain a state of the Buddha to bear to benefit all sentient beings. I go for refuge to the Dharma and to the Buddha, the Dharma, and the highest assembly. From the virtuous merit that I collect by practicing giving and the other perfections, may I attain the state of a Buddha to be able to benefit all sentient beings. I go for refuge until I am enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma, and the highest assembly.
And from the virtuous merit that I collect by practicing giving and the other perfections, may I attain the state of a Buddha to be able to benefit all sentient beings. So, we’re going to begin with cultivation of love and compassion as the motivation for our meditation. And if we can simply There’s a woman who is very ill. Not very ill, but she’s ill. And I think about this moment, just about this moment, she’s going to be doing a healing practice.
And perhaps we can join her in that practice. Just a woman who has progressively deteriorating disease. Perhaps we could just imagine this woman. I don’t think it’s important her name. But just use her as the object for your development of love and compassion and cultivating the three levels of compassion and the three levels of love.
And then we’re going to do mindfulness of breathing. And we’re going to carry on, continue somewhat as we did from last week. Last Last week we practiced some choiceless awareness. Initially if you’re making use of the techniques of counting and noting and we stop counting, simply noting, ideally the breath. Breathing in, we know that we’re breathing in, we note in.
Breathing out, we know that is to say we are aware of that we’re breathing out. We note that fact. We say out, thinking out, in out. And then we practice choiceless awareness. We don’t focus the mind on any particular object.
We allow the mind to become involved in any object that it naturally tends toward. The most stimulating object in the environment, whatever that might be. It could be an external object, a sound, car moving along the street. It could be smell. It could be an internal object, pain, maybe uncomfortableness.
It could be comfortable. It could be bliss, could be an emotion, could be thoughts. So just allowing the mind to move to any object. But most importantly we maintain our awareness. We continue to note, thinking, hearing, thinking, feeling, feeling, thinking, hearing, thinking, pain, pain, thinking.
Just gentle noting. And then I’m going to lead you on a short visualization journey. And within this journey, we’re going to we’re going to look up into the sky. This vast open space. And so at that point, begin it is as if you place about twenty five percent of your awareness on the breath and seventy five percent on the sky.
This vast, open, spacious. Space. And just move back and forth between your awareness of the breath and this vast open space. And allow the mind to rest, to become one with this vast open expanse of the mind. If become if thought arises just like a cloud moving across the sky, simply note it.
Thinking. Thinking. Just let the cloud float across the sky. It will drift away by itself and just return to the vast open space of the mind. Resting the mind in a sense of peace, a sense of clarity.
If you become confused, if your mind many thoughts begin to proliferate, most of your attention to the breath. And then once the mind settles down, then come back to this vast open expanse of the sky and space. So we’re gonna try that. Okay. So if you take a firm comfortable posture.
So beginning with the cultivation of compassion. And you might consider this woman who is undergoing a healing approximately at the same time that we’re involved in this meditation. But you might include anyone that you know is ill, anyone that’s sick, that needs your help. Imagine if you can that person in front of you. Begin with a simple friendly thought.
It would be wonderful if you weren’t ill, if you didn’t have any problems, if you didn’t suffer. May you not be ill. May you not suffer. I’m going to help you commit myself. To eliminating your illness, working through your suffering, your problems.
Wonderful if you’re well. If you’re well and happy. May you be well and happy. I’m going to help you to be well and happy. And the way I’m going to express my commitment to your well-being, to your happiness, and solving your problems at this very moment is through my meditation, by developing myself, my skills, my wisdom, and my love.
Eventually, I can be a real help to you, real use to you. Bring the mind to the breath. Just gentle, easy, in and out, following the natural breath.