Audio recorded at Tibetan Buddhist Institute, Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 49-minute teaching, Kyabje Rinpoche cuts to a core paradox: we seek happiness through harming others, then wonder why we suffer. He outlines the reversal—genuine happiness arises from refraining from harm and helping others. Rinpoche then focuses on patience, the hardest virtue when facing rudeness or attack. He teaches the target-and-arrow logic: your past actions invited this current harm. Methods to defeat anger include seeing its immediate costs (ruined sleep, distorted perception, destroyed merit) and generating compassion for those who provoke you. The talk concludes with a complete daily practice template: morning intention, meditation on the Three Principal Aspects of the Path, ethical work, evening review and dedication. Practical guidance for anyone committed to Buddhist ethics.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 1994-12-15 – 27B – KR.mp3
UUID: 663d9f31-892d-4f66-aee5-6b2a2d9a0396
Teacher: Kyabje Rinpoche
Collection: Tenets
Date: 1994-12-15
Recorded at: Tibetan Buddhist Institute, Adelaide
Words: ~3,580
In our attempt to bring happiness for ourselves, we apply we apply the wrong method where we, instead, inflict harm or suffering upon others. If that, that’s how we do. And as a fact of how it stands, if we do inflict harm and sufferings on others, then instead of accomplishing happiness for ourselves, we receive suffering and so forth. We do, in our attempt to have happiness for ourselves, we are not aware of the correct method to go about. We apply the wrong method.
We kill others. We steal others’ belongings. We engage in sexual misconduct. We tell lies and so forth, all of the non virtuous actions and which directly hurt and brings sufferings to others and we in return instead of getting happiness, we receive sufferings. Oh, if we are to truly accomplish happiness for ourselves, then we need to reverse the method which we so far have been applying, the mistaken method.
Instead, now we need to bring happiness to others, which starts by firstly stopping stopping inflicting harm or hurt to others, that we stop the wrong avenues of our deeds of bringing harm or hurt to others. So that means we have to stop killing, stop stealing, stop sexual misconduct, stop telling lies, stop slander, stop harsh speech, stop gossiping, stop envy, ill intention, and distorted view. When we do that, then others will have happiness. There will be absence of harm from our side. They continuously are in the happiness state.
This when when that happens to others by way of one’s conduct, then one in return naturally will have happiness. Also by having brought happiness to others, one receives happiness. In that way, put into context of cause and effect, we have out of good causes, good results have come. In accordance with the advice of the Buddha, Buddha Śākyamūni, the perfect behavior is the behavior of stopping hurting others. And if one is able to do that perfectly, one can improve by the additional behavior of as well helping others or bringing happiness to others.
This as well can be described as Buddha Śākyamūni’s advice about how to go about go ahead with one’s behavior part of practice. Saying one has in one’s practice the complete combination of the two, view of dependent origination and the behavior of not hurting others, then one through perfect combination of the two, one assisting the other, there will be decrease of all impure thoughts with one state of mind and increase of all pure thoughts thoughts with one state of mind. And finally, one would achieve all perfections of the mind. And therefore, such perfect view and behavior are something which we need to keep in our brain all the time, not forget them. Of course, that is the direction one needs to follow, perfect view combined with perfect behavior.
But when it when it comes to actual implementation of them, But then there will be certain hardship inevitable as mundane being still struggling to make improvement ahead on one’s practice. For example, when it one it tries to apply the perfect behavior, which is to not hurt others, then it is very likely that it would be difficult to follow that guideline. For example, the circumstance can be such as others may speak very rudely to you or others may criticize you or even bash you or they may speak so badly about your parents, relatives, and so forth. And when such happens, then to start with, it is extremely difficult to not retaliate back and still be abiding on the behave good behavior of not hurting others. When such nastiness are coming from others, if one instantly retaliate back, then there is no practice of not hurting others.
Well, at that mom at that moment, practice one needs to combine is the practice of patience and the practice of patience is what normally comes across in the series of practice such as of generosity morality patience. So we need that patience of practice at this point. Well, if one has good practice of patience, then at that moment, one would not retaliate back. Instead, at in some or in some seasoned practitioners case, there would even be compassion towards the other who is being nasty to you. Therefore, there will be dual combination of patience and compassion in best form of on the spot application of the practice.
Through such way, when one does not, when one does not retaliate back to others, then one actually is very well doing the practice of perfect behavior of not hurting others. Then how are we to do the practice of patience? The practice of patience can include so many effective methods. There are many. Looking at principle methods, we can start by firstly looking at the shortcomings or the adverse effects of anger.
Anger. In that point, we can see how anger is the worst of all impure thoughts in day to day working of things in that context, although there are others. So one can think think how in that way it is as well the most unwholesome negative thing one would ever have in one state of mind and how true that is we can support by perfect citations by Śāntideva who says there isn’t any negativity far more grave than hatred. So in that way, anger is the most grave state of mind in our daily working of mind. And one can look that it not only it it not only destroys one’s past merits and so forth.
Even presently, if there is anger or the state of anger in one’s mind, then one is not able to sleep well during the night. One is not able to taste the delicious food that seem to have no taste. Even the white colored floor looks like red colored floor. And and one and one slips in one’s utterances things which are rude to others’ ears. So in this way, there are all these repercussions of anger happening even in day to day working of things.
So one can, in that point, in essence, look at the the shortcomings and the adverse consequences of anger brings about. Not only anger in the current circumstances of dealings with others in one’s situation does all those, but as well as explained earlier, in spiritual context, it destroys all merits one has gained previously which are not dedicated well, such as merits one has accumulated by doing meditations or doing any other formal practices or informal practices which are wholesome direction of training and so forth. So all of them, unless dedicated, they are completely nullified by anger. Yeah. If one is angry, then one would be showing all sorts of unpleasant facial shapes and expressions.
So in other words, one could be very good at giving dirty looks. For example one’s turn would one’s face would turn all different blotted and of different colors when one is extremely angry and so forth in that way the presentation of one’s side presentation of oneself to other side is something unpleasant. Therefore, the current consequences of such is that in future lives, one would be born with unpleasant physical appearances, not pretty, not handsome, and so forth. And in the classical context, in that line of thinking, one would be born with very physical physical repulsive appearances, such as of a ferocious and poisonous snake, which mere sight terrifies, in that context, validly terrifies people by the mere sight. Similarly, all sorts of other animal shapes and appearances, which mere sight is unpleasant for anyone to look at.
So they would definitely would be the outcome of the anger and the physical sight one has presented to others. In the present life, when one is not angry therefore patient then once even the state of facial expression remains very calm and a pleasant sight to others out of such karmic causes in future lives, one would be born with physical appearances and complexions which are very pretty and handsome. So good that others would everybody would say, oh, it’s very very good. Or they would say very nice very nice so in this way it is very pleasant to look at sight for others not only that in future lives or whoever one encounters and associate with will be pleasant people to deal and have whatever the dealings with as for the companions, the friends, so forth. One have all the harmonious or friendly and yes, so forth.
Now that is one way of how to practice patience by way of looking at the repercussions of anger, its adverse consequences. Another way of practicing patience is by way of analogy of target, target and the arrow being shot at. What happens is if someone has already set set the target over there in the field, then the archers would very willingly release their arrow, meaning they would shoot at the target. If there is no target, then archers would remain for a while, not being able to shoot the arrow at all. Like that example, when others are nasty to you, they say nasty things, rude things, they even bash you, and they criticize you, and so forth.
When that’s happening, that shooting of arrow of others nastiness is coming because of there being already target installed from one side. This is karmically speaking. So from one side, one already had part to be the be the source of that attack. So in that way, the one has set the target already, so then others naturally would shoot the arrow of criticizing, speaking rudely, even bashing, and so forth in its own context. So that’s how it happens.
The target one has installed is that in the past, in previous lives or previously, one would have spoken rudely to other, others criticized them, beat them and so forth. Therefore, the target already was set by oneself and as it was said then in this life and time subsequent to those setting, not to the setting of the target, there is naturally the shooting of the arrows by others way of doing similarly to oneself. So one has actually caused this, one has caused this such behavior from others to be done towards oneself. So one can take in its right context in that circumstance, take the blame upon oneself. If one hasn’t done all those things to others in the past, then it is definitely no doubt that one would not be subject to such doings from others.
One wouldn’t at all. So in this way, yeah, we can, again, to emphasize and repeat, would emphasize the point that the target would have been installed, set by oneself in the past, and then there is the shooting of the arrows. With our lives, there was no beginning. Since beginningless time, we have been born and reborn and so forth. So there would have been innumerable occasions we would have harmed others and in return then presently we receive harm from others.
That is very true because even in present life when karmic consequences happen because of their graveness of nature then what whatever non virtuous one actions one has done in the beginning part of the life there are consequences do ripen in certain grave cases in the latter part of the life. Whatever non virtuous actions one has done last year, their repercussions are ripen in this year. And whatever was done last month, the repercussions happened this month, similarly yesterday’s wrongdoings if they’re of grave nature and so forth. We can very vividly see repercussions happening today. So it is exactly same way as regards the wrongdoings of from our side since beginningless time.
Also, in this way, one needs to accept it upon oneself that one would have been responsible for the rudeness and attacks and so forth, wrongdoings coming from other side that I would have been responsible. I am to blame for. In our scriptural phrases we then say to take upon oneself, we need to take upon oneself. If one does that, then there will be definitely no anger and as well there will be no retaliation of hurting the other in return. Not only one need not only one should not be angry and stay in its place, one needs to have patience as well compassion, those two.
Out of the two, one will get two profits. How the profit comes about is firstly by not retaliating back, but being patient. One gets so much of past negativity is purified by that force of that force of patience. One would then, as a practitioner, feel, oh, it has been very good. My negativity has been purified, and the karma has ripened.
The karma has terminated of that point. So one can think it’s been very good. And this, in its turn, increases one’s practice of patience. One needs thank you very much. That’s one needs to say to to the other person.
On the other hand, one needs to have compassion to the other person thinking, oh, what a pity. What a object of compassion the other person is. How one needs to have compassion is by thinking because of my having hurt others that there is this cause for the other person to be angry towards me. Not only that the person’s impure thoughts of anger itself is the cause for the person uncontrollably becoming angry towards me and doing all that sort. What a what an object of compassion that this person from from blame, from my side, from instigation of in the instigation from the part of the target being there.
So from instigation from my side has made the person become angry to me in this way, what object of compassion the person has made to has made to create such non virtuous actions. Now this person, out of such action, would experience in future suffering, such as suffering in rebirths and so forth. What a tragic it has happened. So genuine concern for the other person’s future well-being. So in this way, compassion would arise in that way.
And then on top of that thing, oh, it’s been very good that because of the person being angry and doing all the nasty things to me that it has provided me wonderful opportunity to improve my patience and compassion. It has been so productive dealing with the person. In reality, therefore, I have been of harm to the person. The other person, to me, has been of profit, has contributed towards my well-being and improvement. Through that way, one can as well intensify more care and appreciation of the other person.
Evening, speaking third person, Rinpoche has in the past hour and so gone through the essence or advices about how to put into practice the own varieties of teachings into core practice. All those teachings done throughout the Thursday evenings, each in their own right, have meaning and great helpfulness to improve one’s mind. Yet on on top of all of them, one can as well put into practice these core advices. And Rinpoche felt that he should take this last Thursday to give the core advices. We have a human life complete with all the necessary faculties and capability to make it meaningful to achieve our self and others welfare.
Therefore, we need to make our life meaningful. Please don’t waste our life with not having made it meaningful. Meaningful. And as far as how to make it meaningful is to achieve the wholesome results out of this life. The meaningful making the life meaningful has to start from today, from one day.
If today becomes meaningful then continue tomorrow becoming meaningful similarly day after tomorrow and throughout weeks year month year and continuously then whole life are meaningful. If today has become not meaningful, where it has been wasted, it has become empty, then tomorrow there’s every likelihood one would repeat the same. Tomorrow becomes empty, a waste. Day after tomorrow becomes waste in that way, there is every risk and danger, the whole life would go on empty or wasted, meaningless. In the morning, as soon as one wakes up, one needs to think, oh, it’s been fortunate, wonderful that I have not died during the night.
I’m alive. Now I will make the whole life meaningful, especially the coming day meaningful. I will not waste it. I will not make it go empty, a waste. And the way about to do that is in order to benefit all sentient beings, to remove their problems, sufferings, and to bring fulfillment, happiness to them, I must attain enlightenment for which purpose I will do all my necessary practices and following the wholesome direction of mine and helping others, not hurting others.
Having having set one such state of mind then one when one goes to have to wash and so forth then one can think. In this way in order to be of benefit to others I need to have a surviving body. Therefore in order to sustain my body, I will therefore look after it. Therefore, I will take the shower or go to wash, and I will eat and drink, drink, have breakfast and so forth. If one has after that some time, then it would be wonderful to be able to spend some time doing formal meditations and practice where before getting before sitting on to one’s cushion one offers three prostrations representing a heartfelt reverence to the one’s lamas and Three Jewels and one can do the prostration if one in the presence of their representation in the form of the painting, statue, whatever if one has.
If not, then mentally offer three prostrations and then sit one sit on one’s cushion and then start the meditation and the practices. The topics of meditation and practices are the best needs to include all Three Principal Aspects of the Path towards enlightenment, definite exit, thought, definitely wanting to exit out of suffering, altruistic mind of precious mind of enlightenment, thinking of all others’ welfare, and correct view with the real wisdom realizing emptiness. So one needs to meditate on them. And then when one starts one’s actual day’s work, whether at home or outside, then one needs to approach by doing it in the right way, thinking in order to make a living, need to do the work and so forth. Therefore, must go ahead with the day’s work.
And in doing so, firstly, I wish that I’d be able to benefit all sentient beings in removing their problems and bringing fulfillment. To do that, I will here engage in my work which through which I may benefit people who are directly benefit able through my work. And I’ll be fair and fair and honest and best of my capacity work to the needs and the direction of the supervisors supervisors or or colleagues or whatever the circumstances and the cases be. In the evening after the work, that is just speaking generally. Then in the evening after the work, having changed and had a shower and so forth.
If one has time, then it would be again extremely wonderful to be able to spend some time doing formal contemplation, reflection, meditation, and practices, so forth. Again, meditate on loving kindness, compassion, and other principal aspects of the path leading to enlightenment. And then in the in the evening, meaning night afterwards, before going to sleep, then one reviews back the day’s doing and think and check if check that whether one has done what one has in the morning, planned and determined to do, that is to help all sentient beings and especially those directly related with one’s work and so forth. And in one’s checking of the reviewing of day’s work, if one has found that one has done unwholesome actions and have not done properly, then do the purification practices and make determination that I would not repeat the same again. If one has done found that one has done well, then rejoice and make the determination to continue the next day.
If one has done good during the day, then one would have accumulated vast amounts of merits. Then one needs to dedicate those merits, and one can dedicate the merits thinking. By this merit, may it contribute towards my enlightenment as well the enlightenment all beings, especially in current in current situation may it bring happiness happiness to all the beings whom I especially consider dear and whom I have a relation and so forth. My parents, may they have happiness. May others have happiness.
And one can then think, may there be the flourishing of unmistaken teachings for the benefit of all sentient beings. So whatever wholesome direction of dedication one needs to do, one can dedicate at that time. Very good. Wow. They know you very good.
She’s your ass. Wow. Good. Good. They are too generous.
Yeah. It would be good to do ask about tenth, eleventh century teacher, Geshe Ben Gungyal, who, after reviewing the day’s working and practices, they found good, would say, good, good, very good, very good, and shake his hand in applause Yeah. In modern interpretation and compliment himself and say, oh, today, good. Do the same. Tomorrow, good.
Day after tomorrow, good, and so forth. So make determination to do the same next day and so forth.