Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. A moment of anger, Khensur Rinpoche explains in this 71-minute talk, destroys accumulated merit the way frying a seed destroys its potential — it looks intact but can never sprout again. Opening with Śāntideva’s declaration that anger is the worst of all negative actions and patience the greatest virtue, Rinpoche works through the visible harms of anger (disturbed peace, flushed face, broken sleep, family disharmony, war) and its future-life costs (rebirth as a scorpion or snake, diminished intelligence), then sets out patience’s benefits: a calm appearance, harmonious relationships, a good rebirth, wisdom, and eventual liberation. A Q&A closes with a telling exchange: once anger has arisen, the damage is done — like a thief who has already left with your things. The real practice is stopping anger before it starts.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 39 1998 09 27 PT Patience.mp3
UUID: 234b54ee-d6f1-48cc-ad05-b2fdb7aa1ffe
Teacher: Khensur Rinpoche
Collection: Public Talks 1988-2003 (Khensur Rinpoche)
Date: 1998-09-27
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 71.4 minutes
Words: ~3,947
So whatever action or job we perform, and if we perform that particular job with a sincere motivation, then all our work will become very helpful and beneficial. And if the work is very helpful and beneficial, then we can get a good result at the end of our work. So in this world, all sentient beings innately have a mind or a wish to have happiness and does not want have suffering Innately, all sentient beings wish for happiness and do not want suffering.
So the thought, how wonderful it would be if all sentient beings have the causes of happiness and actually have this happiness — arousing such a thought is generating love. So to generate compassion for all sentient beings is to have a wish to free all sentient beings from suffering, and to have the thought of how wonderful it would be if all those sentient beings were free from suffering — this is the generation of compassion. So we should think and wish for that which brings happiness for all beings, and we should also meditate on that particular thought to make it happen.
So the Indian scholar Acharya Śāntideva had said, there is no greater sin or negative action than anger, and there is no greater virtue than patience. So so it means that there are many, disturbing emotions or negative thoughts. But among those, the the anger is the worst. And the anger is the worst among those negative or disturbing emotions, and one should if one should if one has that anger, if one has the anger, then it’s one one will find oneself in great danger. No?
So to stop that anger, one has to train in the patience. And patience is very important to practice, and it’s the best method to overcome or to stop anger. So the practice of patience here is that one should really implement that patience at the time one gets angry or the anger occurs. The practice of patience should be applied at the same time you generate the anger in yourself. If you use and practice patience only after the anger has been generated or arisen within yourself, then that practice becomes a bit late.
So here, what are the methods to practice patience? There are two kinds of methods or two ways that we can practice patience: which is one, by seeing the faults or disadvantages of anger one can do the practice of patience. And the second way is by seeing the benefits or the qualities of patience, which is also a good method to practice patience. So the methods are: one is seeing all the disadvantages of anger and the second is seeing the benefits or advantages of practicing patience. So thinking about the disadvantages of anger: there are two kinds. One, we can see the disadvantages of anger in this life. There are also disadvantages of anger which we cannot see in this life.
So the disadvantages which we can see or experience in this life is, say, suppose one is in a very, very peace, I’m staying very peacefully in house or one’s room. And at that moment, say that someone comes in and uses some harsh words on you, or uses some violence like hitting something. At that moment, the negative emotion of anger arises within you, and at the same time, it disturbs the peace which you were in before. So that anger immediately overcomes and destroys your peace. So so in general, we we call disturbing emotions or the afflicted emotions which are the bad state of mind or negative state of mind, which are very, very harmed, which we don’t need it.
And also these negative emotions in general disturb the peaceful state of mind, and disrupt one’s peace. And when one develops any kind of disturbing emotion, the mind itself becomes uncontrolled or restless, and it destroys the peaceful state of mind. So that is the disturbing emotion in general: when one generates any kind of disturbing emotion, it destroys the peaceful state of mind, and one becomes uncontrolled, etcetera. But among this among the disturbing emotions, the anger is the worst one.
When one generates anger, it destroys from the very bottom of one’s heart or one’s mind, and it is the worst of the disturbing emotions. And once it is generated, it makes huge problems. So once the anger is generated, it destroys all the happiness and the loving kindness of the person, and it destroys the peaceful state of mind. And by destroying that, it also affects or changes the physical feeling, as we can see physically in a person in whom anger has arisen. Once anger is generated, one’s body trembles or shakes, and it also changes the appearance of one’s face.
From the beginning, one’s face looks very calm and nice. And then as soon as anger comes up, it just becomes flushed or very red. And even your friends don’t want to look at that kind of face when the anger is generated. And then at that time, even if you eat something, the food is not tasty. And even when one tries to sleep, one cannot sleep — one’s heart is very, very restless, and they cannot sleep as well.
So when that anger is generated, once one has generated the anger in oneself, it changes everything — one’s mental state, one’s physical appearance, and one’s physical actions. And if one has very strong anger within oneself, at that moment one can see everything as red. And one is thinking that all people are looking at oneself, and even when one sees their dear friends at that time, one may feel very angry even towards those dear ones. So at that time, anger destroys everything and destroys one’s peaceful state of mind. And at that moment one uses lots of harsh words to others, and even if the anger is very strong, there is a danger of losing one’s life, or of ending one’s own life, which also brings suffering or problems to both oneself and others.
So and and you know this. And then if the anger is anger is generated and there is no no peace or harmony within the family and also it makes problems in the country itself. You can see in these days there are many killings, like wars and killings between people in this world. And then you can see that many houses are destroyed by bomb blasts or set on fire. So all these things, the root cause for these things to happen, is anger.
So anger is the one which hurts both oneself and others as well. And by doing that, one is really generating or collecting lots of demeritorious actions or committing lots of sins. So the saying is that the result of anger is like this: in this life, you can see that when one gets angry, then his or her face will change and become very red. We find it very dreadful or awful to see that angry face everywhere. And this is the result of getting angry, which we can see in this very life.
And also, the result And also the result in the next life is that the person may be taking a rebirth as a snake or scorpion or the like, which everyone is very frightened by. You know that when one sees snakes or scorpions, they just get frightened. So this is the result of generating anger or getting angry now. These are the results which we don’t see in this life. And also generating anger or getting angry very often also hurts or diminishes one’s wisdom or intelligence.
To give an example: even if a person has developed lots of anger, and that person has been born in the next life as a human being, due to the effect from that anger in the past life, even though they are born as a human, they may become very weak and not intelligent, or cannot study much. So even if the person is born as a human in the next life, he or she will have very little knowledge or become unintelligent. So even if born as a human in the next life, the person will be little different from the animals in that he or she cannot study much or becomes unintelligent, just as animals cannot study much. And also, even when one gets angry, so angry very often, the result will be very bad in the next rebirth and then being born as we have described it before. And it will also become worse and worse. And it will be very hard to free oneself from suffering. So there are numerous disadvantages of getting angry, but we cannot explain everything here today.
So in that case, we should meditate on patience by seeing the advantages of patience. If you meditate on patience, then the benefit is that one’s mind can feel happiness — one can experience happiness, and one’s mind becomes very peaceful and happy. And by doing that, one’s face becomes very nice, and because our mind is very happy and in a very peaceful state, one’s physical appearance — for example, the face — becomes wonderful to see. The person who practices and has a very peaceful state of mind and happiness within oneself is one that everyone would like to see.
And because he or she is very peaceful and happy all the time, their face looks very beautiful all the time. So if one has this patience within oneself, then one becomes very peaceful, looks happy all the time. A person who has patience within oneself has a very peaceful mind, looks good, is very peaceful and happy all the time. And if one has those qualities, then there will be happiness, peace, or harmony within one’s family. And not only that, one will become very good to all people.
And if one is very good to all people, then one can make many friends. And having many friends means one can receive many kinds of help from the friends. Practicing patience is very important.
So Rinpoche says, even if one is very peaceful and has patience within oneself, then no matter what, we don’t have to be in a huge crowd. Even two people — like a couple — can have a very peaceful and very happy life and become very, very friendly to each other. And there is a feeling that one cannot stay without the other. And whatever food they eat, it becomes very, very delicious and tasty. And even the child they raise will become very beautiful.
So these are the good reasons for patience. So patience is very important and is also the main cause for harmony in a family or in a country. So if one has patience, there is harmony in the family.
And by having a harmony in a family or by within yourself, then one performs a good action. And the result of that good action is have a good rebirth in next life. And a good rebirth in the next life is not only just taking a human rebirth — it’s also that by the power of practicing patience in the past life, one will be born as a very fine human being, with very good physical appearance or being born very beautiful. And as we said before, one will be able to have many friends. And if there is a couple, they can continue their relationship until the end of their life.
So this is the result or the benefits of patience. And disharmony and problems in the community or within the couple or family come from not having patience, from generating anger or getting angry. So anger, or not having patience within oneself, is the cause of disharmony and problems. No? Difficulties.
No? So patience is very, very important to have or cultivate. And if one practices patience, the result is that in the next life one will be born in a good human rebirth, and not only that — one can also have very good knowledge or wisdom and become greatly renowned in the next life as well. And the result of anger is the opposite of this. So the result of patience is being born as a human, and not only that, one will have good knowledge or wisdom and become very intelligent in the next life.
And having this wisdom and knowledge, one can study very well about how this saṃsāra is formed and how to end this saṃsāra. By knowing that, one can be able to practice and distinguish what things are to be done and what things are to be abandoned. And by knowing that, one can be able to realize the selflessness of the person, and also generate the wisdom realizing emptiness. And by doing this practice, having the knowledge, realizing wisdom, realizing emptiness and selflessness, then one can gradually overcome all the disturbing emotions. And when one is able to overcome all the disturbing emotions or negativities, then one becomes an arhat — which in Sanskrit means one who is liberated.
One can liberate oneself from this cyclic existence. And if one meditates on love and compassion, including the meditation on patience, then one can become a bodhisattva and then become enlightened or reach Buddhahood. So it’s very important to have patience in this practice. This practice is very important: one should really think about the disadvantages of anger as described before, and just think about that.
If I get angry, then this result will come about. Thinking that, one should not generate anger, and also meditate on patience by seeing the advantages of having patience which we have described before. And so when one is able to differentiate between the advantages and disadvantages of having anger and the advantages of having patience, then one should try not to be distracted by the harms caused by others. No. No.
There is another That is No. That That is called Yeah. There is another great disadvantage of the anger other than those. No. Okay.
So one great disadvantage of having anger is the loss of happiness. All happiness comes from the result of merits or virtues. And virtues can be collected or stored by doing good things.
And we have been cultivating a great store of merit in order to have happiness. And the way we cultivate virtues is by meditating and also by practicing generosity and by making offerings to the Three Jewels. So the reason why we are doing this is to collect a great store of merit and then to have happiness within oneself. The great danger is that if one generates anger even for a moment, that anger destroys the merit which we have accumulated for the past five years or the past ten years. That anger is very powerful and it destroys all the merits which we have accumulated in the past, even across past lives.
So if there’s no merit, then we lose our virtues. And if there’s no virtue, then there’s no happiness for us, because we are collecting virtues to have happiness. So it is very important not to generate anger, even for a moment, because that moment of anger will destroy a huge amount of our collections of merit. The anger is very, very powerful and it can destroy all the merit we have. Suppose one has practiced meditation their whole life and accumulated a gracious store of merit. And also in the past life before this life, he or she may have accumulated great merit, but that anger can destroy all the merits we have accumulated.
So alright. This is this is it. Oh, no. No. I thought he was talking about future, but he wasn’t.
It was about the past, which I told him. It is important that one should see the disadvantages of anger. And say for instance, if one has accumulated a huge amount of merit, which can give happiness for a long time into the future, but by generating anger, that anger can make that long-term happiness become very shortened. And anger is minimizing all our happiness all the time.
If it’s small benefit or happiness, we are if if results which can give us happiness for a short period, it will destroy everything. And so anger is the main cause which destroy all our happiness or or our virtues, actions, everything. So here, let me just give an example. So we are we have described that, I mean, anger anger will destroy all I mean, our virtuous actions, which which which virtuous actions or sorry, virtues or the merits, which can give happiness or benefits for us for a long time. For it is like this way.
For example, at present we have a very good seed which, if we sow it, can grow very well and give lots of fruits. But if we put that seed on a red-hot frying pan, it’s not burned but it’s cooked. And so if we then sow it or try to grow it, it cannot give any result — not because the seed has been destroyed, but because the potential of the seed has been destroyed by being fried on a frying pan. So likewise, anger has a power which can destroy the virtues or merit — it can destroy the potential of the virtue or merit which can give us happiness or long-term benefits.
So Rinpoche, the question here is: if one sows that seed which has been fried, can it give a fruit or not? No. No.
No. No. So likewise, the the seed cannot give a fruit or offspring, and they also the the anger will destroy all our virtuous actions or so merits or the virtues. So all and if that happens, then all our meditation our meditation whole life becomes useless or have been no use. So it’s very very harmful to us.
It hurts in two ways. One thing, it destroys all the happiness and the virtues we have. And the second point is it brings difficulty, suffering, and unhappiness to us. No. No good?
Mhmm. No good. So Rinpoche emphasizes to all of us not to generate anger but to practice and meditate on patience. And you know that we all wish to have a good life in the next life, a good rebirth, and wish for happiness and do not want suffering. And anger is the one which destroys all the happiness of the future, not only of this life but in future lives as well, and which brings suffering for both this and next life.
So it is not worthwhile keeping or generating anger in oneself. It is very necessary that one should not arouse anger in oneself, but should practice and meditate on patience. Okay. Yeah.
So we’ll we’ll keep five minutes for questions if there are any questions. So when I know I’m about to destroy my virtue from the last three lives and I’m really angry, what do you do? What can you do? When you come to know that you have destroyed the virtues of the past three lives — when I get very angry and you know you’re very angry, how do you handle that? What do you do?
Oh, I can’t stand yet. So so the things the most important is to look back and look into your mind all the time. It’s very important to check whether you are getting angry or not. And when one comes to know that one is starting to get angry, at the moment when anger begins to start, one should stop and try to stop the anger from the beginning, applying the antidote to anger so that it does not arise. Is is that the answer for your question or should I re answer something back?
So your question is sort of like, you’ve been get I mean, you’re already angry. Yes. And then at the end of some we say that at the end of your anger or angry, you know, you came to know that you have been destroyed. The virtues of the past three lives. Right.
Yes. That’s what I mean. When you’re very angry, what’s the best thing to do? That I leave, not home. No.
No. No. The drink of water. No. No.
The question was the first question was you you asked that, say, I get angry and you came to know that. So you you’re already angry now. And you also know that it will now destroy your virtues — that your virtues from past lives have been destroyed. So and what you what could be. Oh, so it was not a question.
So then it’s okay. So you mean what to do now? So your question was now what to do when you get angry? Yes. Was that good?
Alright. I’ll handle that better. Sorry? In the moment that you’re angry Mhmm. What to do.
Alright. So So you might remember from the beginning of the day, once you’re trying to, I mean, try to stop the anger, I mean, anger from the beginning or before it starts. Once it has started, even if you practice thinking about patience after it has started, then your practice of patience is a bit too late. It’s too late by then.
So it means your acting is almost to to the end now. Yes. And you can’t do anything then? No. Nice.
So the most important thing is to try to stop the anger from the beginning. And it is very difficult to do this at first, to practice this kind of practice. But if you do it very often — practising once, twice, and then many times — then gradually your mind will become more familiarized to that kind of practice, and then gradually, without any effort, effortlessly, your mind can automatically do this kind of practice and be able not to get angry. And if one get angry, then this is finished. And then at the moment, it’s already done.
Like, we should be very careful of our possessions before they get stolen. Once they have been stolen and the robber has taken them, we can do nothing. It’s been stolen. So the most important thing is, before losing the thing, one should give good protection to your possessions. And once the robber has taken your things, then that’s it. So at that moment, you have generated anger, and the action is almost done. So think about the next time, to not let anger overcome you. So there are many many ways to practice this kind of stopping anger from the beginning.
For example, if there is a person who makes you angry just by seeing them — anything about them triggers your anger — then to stop that anger, try not to see that person all the time. Then the anger which comes from that person will never get a chance to arise. And as for words, if you hear certain words which make you angry, then try not to listen to those kinds of conversations or those words. And even if you hear them, just pretend not to hear, as if you’re not listening to those words. And by doing that, it stops the anger which comes from that kind of word or conversation. So this is one practice. There are many kinds of practice like this. Still, there are many. So we’ll stop here. Thank you all.