Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 50-minute teaching, Ven Thubten Gyatso builds on Tuesday’s foundation to explore cultivating bodhicitta, the altruistic mind dedicated to guiding all beings to freedom from suffering. He contrasts three worldly approaches to living—pursuing happiness in this life alone, seeking a pleasant afterlife through virtue, and nihilistic rejection of meaning—with two nonworldly paths: personal nirvana and the Buddha’s path of universal compassion. The root of all suffering, he explains, is self-grasping ignorance: our fabricated sense of a fixed, solid “me” that dominates perception and generates attachment, aggression, and indifference toward different beings. Through analysis, this false self cannot be found; what remains is just body and mind, merely labeled with a name. He illustrates the goal with two stories: the Buddha’s past-life sacrifice of his body to a starving tigress and her cubs, and Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s practice of offering his blood to mosquitoes with unconditional love. He then introduces the seven-point technique for cultivating equanimity—the prerequisite for universal love—by recognizing that friends become enemies, enemies become friends, and strangers can shift either way. Pitched at practitioners new and old, those with doubts about rebirth and karma are welcomed to reason through the teachings rather than accept them on faith alone.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 09 2010 02 11 P o A.mp3
UUID: de9572b3-b2ce-4aec-a9f9-36bb9a01c380
Teacher: Ven Thubten Gyatso aka Adrian Feldman
Collection: Misc teachings (Ven Thubten Gyatso aka Adrian Feldman)
Date: 2010-02-11
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 50.4 minutes
Words: ~6,119
So, good evening everybody. Thank you for coming tonight. Very pleased to see you all here for the last of the talks I’m going to be giving at Buddha House for now. On Tuesday night, notes that some of you may have, sort of an outline which I discussed on Tuesday night as a sort of foundation or preparation for tonight’s discussion on how to cultivate the supreme or the highest attitude that we’re capable of cultivating within our own minds, meaning of life, the highest purpose for living our lives. And this is the, in general we can call it, the cultivation of an altruistic attitude, a completely selfless thought which looks towards all others and regards their need for happiness, their need to be free from suffering, being of supreme importance, and making the very strong, irreversible decision to devote one’s entire life and lives, future lives, to others, to guide others out of suffering by eliminating the causes for suffering and unhappiness, and to bring them to every happiness.
This is possible because in the Buddhist teachings in general it’s explained in great detail how the very root of all suffering by any being human, animal, whatever it may be in the wheel of life. All problems, all suffering, are rooted within our own minds. So there are indeed external conditions which are associated with difficult situations, with pain and suffering, but the root cause why we meet these conditions and why we’re born in bodies which are by nature magnets for suffering and pain, is within our own minds. And there’s no way that we can make a perfect environment, a perfect world, where no problems will happen. The world is not in our hands, it’s not in our control.
But our own mind is potentially under our own control, and if our own mind is the source of suffering, then by gaining control of the disturbing emotions which are the cause of problems and avoiding the harmful actions that arise from those disturbing emotions then we can bring an end to our own suffering by eliminating its cause, and through that, and through the accumulation of great wisdom and compassion, we will have the capacity to be able to guide others. We will be qualified to guide others. Without having done it ourselves, we will not be qualified to guide others. We will only have theoretical understanding of the path to freedom or nirvana or liberation. And that’s not enough.
Our own mind will be an obstacle and will be a very limited help to others. Tonight’s talk will be on how to actualize within one’s own mind the altruistic thought or the thought that cherishes all living beings equally, without discriminating some as better than others or worse than others, but having equal love and compassion at a level which is far greater than we can even imagine that we would have for those who are dear and close to us in this life. Such cultivation is obviously a supreme goal, it’s a difficult goal, and this practice comes at the very end of the outline of the path. I’ve mentioned in those notes those who receive them, just the Buddha’s teachings embrace two main spiritual paths: the individual path to personal liberation, to personal nirvana, which does involve the cultivation of great love and great compassion, but it doesn’t involve intention to rescue all beings from suffering. The dominant thought is for oneself to gain freedom from the suffering wheel of life, death and rebirth, death and rebirth, under the control of karma and disturbing emotions.
Comfortable with that. Eventually, even if we follow that path and achieve nirvana, eventually everybody will gravitate towards the recognition of the greatest suffering in the world beyond ours. Even if one achieves nirvana, eventually one will come out of the blissful state of meditation and one will see the suffering beings that still exist, and one will then enter the path of cultivating altruism and directing the mind towards Buddhahood or for enlightenment, which is our potential. Every one of us has the potential to achieve that result. So, I’m introducing different words, like Buddhahood, karma, bodhicitta.
bodhicitta is what we’re talking about, the Sanskrit word, the mind of enlightenment, which has ultimate nature ultimate aspect, and conventional relative aspect. So we’re talking about the conventional bodhicitta, the great compassion determined to rescue all beings from suffering. The ultimate bodhicitta is the wisdom that necessarily supports that great compassion. Working on the two together, Buddha means the point where one’s mind becomes totally unification of wisdom and compassion. Wisdom alone can lead us to nirvana, but it can’t lead us to Buddhahood.
Compassion alone won’t even take us to nirvana, but it is the driving force which will take us to Buddhahood with the support of wisdom. So we need to practice wisdom and compassion together. Even in everyday life, there’s a big problem happening, just compassion and wanting to ease others, help them get out of their suffering is nice. But without wisdom we can sometimes do the wrong thing, or we won’t know what is best to do to help those who are suffering. So, everyday disasters, the terrible earthquake in Haiti.
Food and aid and medicine is good, but we need wisdom to know how to distribute them and what is best. When I was first ordained, I had a medical clinic at the monastery in Kathmandu in Nepal, and people would send me, at some expense, medicines from Australia to help run the clinic. And maybe two thirds I would throw away because they were tranquilizers. All of these things were complaints which we experience here in Australia, but which nobody in Nepal experiences. In Nepal they needed antibiotics and fundamental medication for infectious diseases and so on.
I always felt it was a great pity that they had gone to all the expense of air freighting these medicines, which were useless in Nepal, to treat people. I would just like a little example, but there are many things when we want to help people, we just don’t know the right way or the best way to help them. And especially, from the Buddhist point of view, we need wisdom because the very root cause of suffering is ignorance, is confusion about the reality of our self, how we exist as an individual, and the reality of others, even confusion and ignorance of the wheel of life. Confusion and ignorance not knowing about the cause and effect of karma, karmic cause and effect. And so, if we’re really going to help people, we’re going to need to allow them to develop their wisdom, and so we have to be totally skillful in teaching them.
So, as we go through, please, if there’s something which you want to ask about, put your hand up and if I can, happy to answer and clarify any points that come out. On Tuesday night I said, If we look at what people are doing, our goals in life, what we’re doing and why we’re doing it, We can divide our human behavior into worldly directions and non worldly behavior. Worldly behavior I classify as three: the pursuit of happiness and avoiding pain and unhappiness in this life. Just, you know, we wake up each day, What do do today to be happy and to avoid unhappiness? So it’s very much a motivation or an idea oriented around this life how I can extract as much pleasure and avoid as much pain as possible and just live whatever time I’ve got in as nice a way as possible.
A lot of people are living with that general thought. Even if they do entertain belief in heaven and hell and the potential after death there’s something, still, if you analyze their daily behavior, they’re not really working towards going to heaven or to avoiding hell they’re just simply pursuing the happiness of this life and avoiding the pain of this life. So there’s no fault in that other than Is this what human life is all about? Is this really a useful thing to do with our lives? So if we check up what people are doing in trying to be happy and trying to avoid unhappiness, which is most of us.
Not too many of us are achieving what we want. There is so much frustration, so much disappointment, and even when we do find happiness, we become dissatisfied and we abandon that which gives us pleasure and look somewhere else. We’re constantly looking elsewhere for better improvement and change and this and that in our relationships, in our jobs, in our possessions, and so on. So, I don’t think there’s anybody who would say, Yes, I have achieved the perfect life of pleasure and freedom from unhappiness. We can’t help but avoid the inevitable effects of being a human.
There is sickness, there’s aging, and there’s death. So these three fundamental problematic situations are unavoidable. And when they occur to us or to our family members, our friends and so on, there is so much. No matter how much wealth we’ve achieved, no matter how much happiness we’ve established, the unexpected, the unwanted, inevitably will come and undermine undermine all that we’ve achieved. So, in the long term, if we haven’t really thought about anything beyond this life, when we die and if we look back on this incomplete life, this unsatisfactory life, not only does it seem to have been of meaningless, but it also is a bit like a dream.
And what is the great happiness that we experience on the holiday of some date back in the past, which we try to bring back again and again? If you look at it, it’s really no different to last night’s dream. Last night’s dream can be very happy or very unhappy, but when we wake up in the morning and we think about it, we think, Oh, it was just a temporary, really meaningless experience. There was no essence to that dream, whether it was a happy or unhappy dream. And a similar feeling can indeed occur when we’re approaching death and we look back into our memories.
They’re very similar to life’s night’s dream. There’s no essence which we take with us into the deathbed, into the unknown future, if we even think there’s a future. So, that ordinary pursuit of happiness and avoiding unhappiness for self and family and friends is a very superficial way of living. Really, if we look at animals, they’re doing exactly the same. It’s not different to animal behavior.
They’re doing the same thing. The second type of way of living our life that I mentioned on Tuesday night was we do have a belief in an afterlife or something after death. Many with a Judeo Christian background believe in the possibility of being born in a heavenly paradise or being born in hell according to our actions, our behavior in life. So there is indeed a thought of how important it is to have a framework morality, of ethical conduct within one’s life, to do the actions which will take us towards heaven and avoid going to hell. And indeed, that belief system is very important for a proper ethical behavior and conduct within life.
And so, still there is pursuit of happiness and avoiding unhappiness, but there is a greater goal, and people can indeed achieve that result. Not going to hell and going to heaven. In Buddhism, it’s completely a valid spiritual path. But in Buddhism, which says heaven exists, it’s taught that unless we remove the root ignorance in our mind, the confusion of reality, unless we purify all of the karmic imprints from our mind, then really being reborn into heaven is not enough because that will be a finite finite existence. It is not infinite, nor is hell infinite.
One is reborn in such a state out of virtuous karma or non virtuous karma, and eventually the karma for the heavenly existence or the hell like existence will be exhausted, and one will die, and one will again be reborn either in a happy or an unhappy place according to karmic imprints in one’s mind. There’s a couple of seats up front if you can’t find, or on the sides. The third way of approaching life I added on Tuesday, and that was nihilistic self destruction, is becoming stronger and stronger thought in people’s minds, especially the younger generation of already thinking it’s meaningless, that life is meaningless and not having any goals other than just immediate sensory pleasure and not caring whether one lives or doesn’t live, which leads to reckless reckless behavior and a sense that life is not so good, it’s meaningless, and a sort of nihilistic view that there is nothing afterwards. And it’s very sad, and it seems to be on the increase this general attitude of rejection, of moral values, certainly an abandonment of any thought of ethical conduct, and restraining one’s impulses. That’s really why I put it in, because when one has that state of mind, one has no sense of need to follow social conduct, you know, the rules or the religious rules of social conduct, one just does whatever impulse arises, one acts upon it.
That’s very scary and it comes out of confusion. The two ways of living that I described on Tuesday night that are non worldly, which means that there are two lifestyles which I’ve already mentioned, which bring about certain goals where one is completely free from the wheel of life, where one can actually go beyond suffering by destroying the cause of suffering. The first is the personal goal of achieving nirvana the second is the goal for others, the goal of altruism, goal to achieve full Buddhahood in order to be perfectly qualified to guide others out of suffering. So that such a purposeful life is born out of great love and great compassion for all beings, and that’s what we’re going to talk about how to develop that tonight. Okay.
All right? Any questions? Go on. Don’t be shy to ask if you want to. Now, I finished last week in a bit of a rush.
I began to talk about the obstacles to developing universal love and universal compassion equally for all beings. And I just at the very bottom of that list, for those who had it, there are the disturbing emotions headed by self self grasping ignorance. So this is the confusion of what we are as an individual, and within that confusion it’s not just not knowing within that unawareness of how we exist as an individual person, all invent a person, a self, a sense of self. We have a self image which is generated in our first moments of thought in life, and this self image is added to and seen either in an attractive way or an unattractive way, whatever. We have a strong conviction of a true, real me here, somehow the one behind the experience, the one who is doing the experiencing, the one who is being unhappy, the one who is being happy or sad, the one who is being attacked or abused and so on.
There’s a strong sense of self, a real true me here somewhere in the background. And this is a rock solid, powerful idea that we all have, and we never question whether the I as we see it exists or not, whether it’s a valid thought or not. The Buddha taught that if we check up our self image, our conception of self, we try to see how it manifests in our mind, how we are dominated with the thought of me, and there is this self reference to everything that happens in our life. And when somebody says, I love you, it’s the me! I mean, where is that love directed?
It’s not directed towards the body or the mind, it’s to me. He loves me, she loves me. And there’s this strong sense of me, and this very grasping at the person, at those words. We crave those words. So much of our life, if we fundamentally look, what are we looking for?
We’re looking for affection, kindness, love from others, and we are running away from rejection, dislike, hatred. They hate me! They said that about me! And it’s this strong sense of self which the indignation arises and then we become very angry, aggressive towards all those who send vibes towards us. Way over the top!
I mean, our outbursts of anger and hatred can be so powerful and much greater than is necessary that they can completely destroy our entire equilibrium. Anger does destroy our mental equilibrium. An angry mind is such an unhappy mind. Now, why do we do it? Why does it come?
Because there is this precious me that feels insulted, that feels hurt, that feels rejected, that all the different things. Or even when there’s physical pain, Poor me. Why is it not fair? So we feel discriminated against, we feel that our family and friends are against us, and this strong self pity can as we know. When we think about it again and again and again and we’re always projecting the cause of our problems out there towards others, we can sort of spiral into a completely paranoid state where we are inventing totally unreal attacks upon me, directed me So, Buddha said, Observe your behavior, your happiness and unhappiness, and your attachment to those things which make you happy, your aggression towards those things which make you unhappy.
Now, look at the me. Look at the way this sense of I arises in your mind. Try to identify the me that feels so hurt, the me that demands to be loved and just wants to hear those words, I love you. How does it appear in your mind? So, check the appearance, then identify it, then relocate the I that appears to your mind.
Pinpoint it. If it exists as your behavior seems to indicate, your strong defensiveness, your strong, you know, your sort of insecurity, or your sensitivity of one’s self image in the face of what’s happening in the world, and always looking for praise, always afraid of criticism. Where is that self that is so afraid and wants so much? And analyze, locate it. Look for it in the body, look for it in the mind, and come up with it.
And so, people did that, and his students would come back to Buddha and say, I failed. I couldn’t find the self. It’s there because it’s me, but I couldn’t find it. Buddha said, No, because it’s not findable. You have fabricated the image of a true, real me here.
It’s somewhere in your heart or in your head that is the one experiencing. But the reality is there is no such thing. There is a body, there is a mind, the mind experiences pleasure, the mind experiences pain, the body has sickness and so many things. But with regard to what constitutes a human being, there’s nothing other than that. There’s a body and mind.
Now, that doesn’t mean there is no self, there is no I, there’s no person. But he explained that the I is just labeled upon the body and mind. Establish ourselves to exist as individuals, in dependence upon simply the word I or me or the name that our parents give us. So, when a new baby is born, everyone else, What’s its name? And so the parents that they’ll reply, sometimes name may not come for a while, but as soon as people understand identify this new baby, this new person that’s been born into the world, and the name becomes very strong.
So that’s how we recognize the new person independence and when we introduce ourselves to each other, we swap our names, so we recognize each other and what establishes us as individuals: the name connected with this body and mind, right? And the body and mind are not the same as the body and mind when we were babies, when their parents gave us our name. They’re definitely not the same, but they are the continuity of that body and mind and of no other body and mind. So, we’ve grown up, we’ve become adults and so on. So different things have been experienced by the mind and the body has changed, but still the same name.
And we have functioned. We sign our signature, you know, and somebody calls us, Are you here? And I call that our name. Yes, I’m here. So, our name, connected to this changing body and mind establishes us as functioning individuals.
Buddhism says that’s all there is to it. There is no true, real me behind it all. This me which I’m so protective of and which I cherish and which hurts when bad words are directed towards this body and mind, it’s me they’re saying that about, and our emotions completely get angry or they fall apart with sadness and misery. And we have the same projection onto others. There’s a person we love.
So, we say we love, I love you, is far more than is actually there. We project upon the other person a real, true entity in his or her own right, somehow abiding within that body and mind. And that’s when we say, I love you! Whenever we hear the name, this whole image of the real concrete unchanging person that we either love appears to our mind and we take that to be the real person. And our emotions are very much disturbed through these pushing or pulling attachment or pride, jealousy, miserliness.
There are so many disturbing emotions always associated with the belief that the real true me, real true other. That is the root of our problems. Those disturbing emotions, when they manifest, the mind is miserable and they cause us to hurt others. They cause us to do so much to hurt others. Killing, stealing, lying, sexual misconduct and harsh words.
You know, there are so many hurtful things that we can do strongly under the belief that there’s the real true me and the real true other, and not just persons, even real true objects. We see them as much more than they actually are. So, the attainment of nirvana is dependent upon generating the wisdom that realizes the emptiness of all of our false mental fabrications that I’m not what I think I am, that others aren’t what they think what they are. They are just merely labeled individuals. And so the whole intensity of me and not me subsides.
We can relax so much by saying there’s just this body and mind, none of which is truly me. When the sickness comes, of course, bodies get sick. There’s no such thing as perfectly healthy body. And there’s no true me who’s going to even suffer the pain. There is pain, but it’s just pain.
And that’s reality. It’s not pretending, it’s not suppressing anything real, it is just seeing things as they are. And it gives so much courage in one’s own life, not just to work towards nirvana, but it’s the foundation of working towards altruism, of generating pure love and pure compassion for others. So, if we really check up our lives, what does bring the most peace of mind is when we do things to help others, is when we have kind thoughts, loving thoughts, wanting others to be happy, wanting others to be free from suffering. We say, don’t we, that the happiness is in giving rather than receiving.
And it’s true. It really is true. To make others happy, especially children, we can use them as an example. It’s so rewarding to put laughter and smiles on the faces of others, and to ease their frowns and their tears and their problems. We are only thinking of them.
And in the process, our own mind forgets our own neurotic demand and need for consideration, consideration, for love, for compassion, for kindness. And so our mind is peaceful. So we experience this. We know this. So imagine how it would be if we could see every living being, all humans, or even the animals, with love and compassion greater than we’d even have to our own loved ones of this life.
Just a couple of stories that I want to talk about. One is of the Buddha, the historic Buddha, he described certain stories about his life as a bodhisattva, like working on the path to attaining enlightenment. Like, the Buddha was completely ordinary like us, totally under the control of karma and ignorance, attachment and anger. In dependence upon other teachers, other Buddhas there have been countless Buddhas in the world, in the universe he he followed the path and attained for Buddhahood through great compassion and love. And one of the stories is when he was actually a highly advanced practitioner.
He was born as a prince and he and two of his brothers, they went into the forest one day just gathering flowers or something, and they came across a starving tigress with five cubs, and they felt great compassion, sorrow and pity for this tigress who they saw was so hungry, so thirsty that it seemed like she was about to eat her own cubs. And so two of the brothers went off to try and find some food and something to drink for the tigress. One of the brothers stayed behind. He said, Oh, he made an excuse. He knew what he was going to do, so he excused himself and the others and they went off and he went back to the Tigress.
He thought of how so often in his lives he’d practiced generosity and giving and kindness and love, but he’d never given his own life. As I say, was a highly developed practitioner, and through his understanding he felt that this was an opportunity to give his life out of love and compassion. So he lay down in front of the tigress and invited her to eat him. She was too weak to even do that, so he took a sharp stick and cut open his veins and arteries, enabling the tigress to drink his blood and then gain the strength to eat him. And when the other brothers came back there was nothing but bones and he was gone and they realized what had happened.
The story- and this comes in one of the sutras where Buddha actually taught his followers this story. It’s not some sort of legend that came from anywhere else. It came from the mouth of the Buddha himself during one teaching. So, that is a demonstration of what we’re talking about tonight. The goal, the total state of selflessness and the total state of cherishing others, so even animals, humans are all seen equally to the point where one could sacrifice one’s own life for others, just as Jesus Christ did on the cross.
We would sacrifice his life for us. Why? Because he had great love, great compassion, universal love and compassion. So, the second story is a more modern story, and this is in relation to my own teacher, Lama Zopa Rinpoche, who he and Lama Yeshe were my original teachers. Lama Yeshe passed away, was reborn and recognized as a young Spanish boy who’s now living in Spain and doing interesting things.
Lama Zopa Rinpoche sort of took over the running of our whole organization, and Roger Kunsang, who is an Australian monk who is his attendant, told me that one time they went to Kushinagar in India. They went on pilgrimage and they were staying at a very primitive hotel room, and the hotel room was full of mosquitoes. The beds had four wooden posts and mosquito nets rolled up, and when you went to sleep you’d roll down the nets and tuck them the mattress and keep away the mosquitoes. So, Roger was sharing the room with Lama Zopa, roommate, and he said his mantras, his prayers, he was going to go to sleep. So, he unrolled his mosquito net and set it up on his bed.
All the time Lama Zopa Rinpoche was just meditating in the middle of his bed, so without saying anything, without disturbing Lama Zopa Roger, let down Lama Zopa’s mosquito net and tucked it into the mattress, and then he went into his bed and went to sleep. Then, sometime during the night, he woke up and Lama Zopa Rinpoche always leaves the lights on where ever he is because he offers the lights to the Buddhas. It’s part of his practice, offering lights. So the lights were on, and Roger woke up and looked over towards Lama Zopa Rinpoche and the mosquito net had been rolled up Lama Zopa was sitting in the middle of the bed, and he’d pulled his shirt over his head and totally exposed his back, and his back was black with mosquitoes. Lama Zopa was offering midnight snack for the mosquitoes.
So, could we do that? We certainly couldn’t offer our life to a tiger or tigress and her cubs. It’s hard enough to allow one mosquito to take a drop of blood, isn’t it? But not just here resisting this pain, but with unbelievable love. Unbelievable love, you know.
Seeing that mosquito as dearly as anybody in this world, equally, with great love. So, how is it possible to have such an attitude? The thing with Lama Zopa and the mosquitoes is it wasn’t a one off. Mean, he was reputed to do this. At Kopan Monastery in Nepal, where I lived for four years after I was ordained, we would all close the windows or close the screens at night to keep the mosquitoes out, and Lama would always open his.
One morning I went to see Lama Zopa for some reason, I can’t remember, and he just said, Oh, I had lots of injections last night. I said, What? And he showed me his arms and they were just all mosquito bites, totally. So, he offers. If we want to become Buddhas, we have to have such love, such compassion, such patience to be able to achieve that.
That’s what I want to talk about. He must have been a very strong man because mosquitoes normally carry some form of disease. He survived. Extraordinary. In Nepal, there are the bad diseases carried by mosquitoes.
He’s had other physical problems like or more recently, but he’s never got anything. Amazing. It is. I couldn’t do it. But I did get malaria in India.
Don’t want get it again. So, meditation is when one is at the point on the path where one wants to cultivate such love and compassion. I know a lot of you are very new, maybe the first time you’ve been to Buddha House and you’ve got lots of doubts about rebirth and karma. That’s all right. And I’m not saying you’ve got to believe this or you’ve got to do this.
I’m just saying this is how the path is taught. And think about it and think about this possibility of altruism, of universal love and compassion. What’s the reasoning behind it? And there has to be a reasoning behind it. It’s not just faith in Buddha, who’s a great being, or even faith in the lamas who do incredible things with mosquitoes.
That’s not enough. Each one of us has to have it, so we have to convince our mind of a valid reason to train in such an attitude. There is a presentation of the benefits of generating it, but maybe if we get time we can talk about that later. So, the first step There are two methods are taught to us by the lamas and the first one is called the seven-point technique of cause and effect. So, there are causes bringing about the result.
And they begin with a preliminary step of generating a mind of equilibrium, a balanced mind, towards all beings. So, we should reflect upon how we behave in relation to friends, people we label as friends, how we behave towards people we label as enemies, you know, those who we feel have hurt us, insulted us, etc, and we dislike them. We may not call them enemy, but they’re the ones that we avoid. Some people say, I don’t have any enemies. Yeah, check up.
There are people we would rather not be with and there are people we would rather be with, so we do discriminate that way. And we also discriminate strangers. Towards enemies. We want to hurt them, or at least we’re quite delighted if we hear somebody else criticizing them and we say, ‘Yes, yes, they did this and this’, so we want their reputation to go down. We want others to dislike our enemies and we gossip and we spread words true or not true we certainly enhance as much negative energy as we can directed towards them.
Then the ones so we have aggression towards those we dislike. To those who say, I love you and look after us and give us presents and a smile towards us, it’s nice to be pleased. No problem with it. But we become attached. We cling to them and we favor them far more than anybody else.
We will do things. We’ll go out of our way to help them, not so much out of love and kindness, but I want you to keep doing nice things to me. You know, I want want you always to be pleasing me. Check out: there’s not so much altruistic motives in our kind actions towards friends. There is a strong self-centered sense of not wanting to be excluded from their sphere of benevolent influence.
So we’re attached. We cling. We don’t want to be separated from them. And then the strangers: we don’t really have great concern whether they’re happy or unhappy. So, we sort of categorize people into those even animals, into those three nice animals, there are nasty animals, and so we even categorize them as well.
And we act out of attachment to those we label friends, out of aggression towards those we label as enemies, and just a little bit ignorant, not caring, ignoring those who are not connected to me in any way. This discriminating mind is universal and it’s impossible to have universal love whilst we discriminate. We’ve got to at least see others equally. So, we need to reflect that sometimes friends can become enemies. Often friends can become enemies.
Just go to the divorce courts and see how that happens. Domestic violence is so powerful. Where the ones we have taken to be our partners for life can become our worst enemy. The horrible stories we hear of killing- The one happening now: a man killed his wife and the son led her to her death. All over money.
It’s just awful and it’s so frequent. So, indeed, our closest friends can become our worst enemy they can become our murderers. Now, this doesn’t mean we should reject our friends and not have friends, but we should be realistic. Why are you so attached and clinging to that person? Often we may not be physically hurt, but they can be behind our back, they can be saying things about us, they can be cheating us, manipulating us for their own benefit.
So this is reality. And stop being attached to friends. On the other hand, there are many situations where worst enemies can become best friends. I remember reading a long time ago how two men had got a fight and one had attempted to kill the other with a gun nearly killed him but he’d recovered. And then by the time the court case came around, the two men had become best friends.
And so when the attempted murderer was under trial, the one he attempted to murder gave a character witness for him. He’s actually a great guy, you know. So, that’s like an illustration of how even our worst enemy can become a best friend. And strangers, too. Strangers can either become enemies or friends.
So the point is that we should not judge people according to our judgment but see everybody equally. Have a balanced outlook. Yeah?