Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 41-minute guided meditation, Ven Thubten Dondrub teaches the practice of equalizing self with others, a foundational Buddhist method for dismantling the self-centeredness that fuels suffering. He begins with advice on maintaining focus during analytical meditation—recognizing and counteracting dullness, agitation, and distraction through mindfulness and recalling the guru. The core teaching unfolds through systematic reflection: first, developing equanimity toward friends, enemies, and strangers by recognizing that relationships are impermanent and undeserving of our fixed, reactive attachments; second, examining what makes the self special and discovering no valid logical basis; third, recognizing that all sentient beings—human, animal, hell being—share identical fundamental qualities: the wish for happiness, the fear of suffering, and mind of the same essential nature. He concludes by visualizing a scale balancing oneself against countless beings, then resting awareness on the constant “sense of I” present in every person. The meditation culminates in generating determination to practice this equality as the foundation for love, compassion, and bodhicitta. Suited for practitioners with some familiarity with Tibetan Buddhist thought.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 15b. Day 4 Meditation Exchanging Self with Others.mp3
UUID: 70214f29-df22-4841-94fa-5fe3948c3474
Teacher: Ven Thubten Dondrub
Collection: Meditations DTL (Ven Thubten Dondrub)
Date: 2006 (exact day not recorded)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 41.4 minutes
Words: ~1,905
So again, this very strong commitment to oneself, being determined to keep your mind within the boundaries of this analytical meditation, not letting it fall under the sway of any kind of meditation hindrances, determined to be completely mindful of the arising of dullness and sleepiness and boredom and so on, or the arising of agitation by being distracted by sounds, sensations in the body, or our own thoughts being determined when that happens to immediately let go of any of these things, to apply the antidote when necessary, such as recalling the guru at the crown, imagining powerful white light coming from his heart, instantly dispelling any difficulty. So we can start by doing just a very mini reflection on developing equanimity. Right now, because of our self-cherishing thought, whoever pleases us, even in nearest moment, that person we see as friend. Someone upsets us in the slightest way, and in that moment, that person we see is the enemy, the antagonist, the harmer, and someone who doesn’t seem to be affect me at all one way or another right now, we remain indifferent to them. They’re they’re just a stranger.
While we continue to relate to beings like that, we it is the basis of cultivating our delusions. Attachment arises for the friend, aversion to the enemy, indifference to the stranger. So there’s no peace in our mind and no no way to cultivate genuine loving kindness or compassion. So we can reflect the basic way to develop equanimity, just briefly reflect is looking with wisdom and seeing that these three beings: we we become attached to the friend because we see this person as permanent. They will always be my friend.
They will always behave like this. And the enemy will always be like that. This person will always be a stranger to me. But that’s not nothing is fixed like that at all. Everything can change.
We all know of people who are friends who become strangers to each other, even become enemies. People who have been our enemies can become our friends. Nothing is fixed and permanent. So why be so attached to the friend, have so much aversion to the enemy, indifference to the stranger? We wish our friend to be happy.
Why can’t we wish the stranger to be happy? Because they’re just a sentient being like the friend. They wish to be happy like my friend. They don’t want to suffer like my friend, so why can’t we wish them happiness and treat them accordingly? Why can’t I want my enemy, my harmer, to be happy?
Because they have the same wish to be happy as my friend. Oh, but my enemy has delusions, but so has my friend. But my enemy has hurt me, but so has my friend in past lives. The friend of this life that has been a stranger in the past has been my enemy. But he’s kind to me now.
But it’s quite possible that the enemy of this life has been far kinder in a past life than any of my friends in this life have been. Just reflect how we have no equanimity because our self-cherishing only thinks of what is happening now. It doesn’t see the vast picture. If we don’t listen to our self-cherishing and look with wisdom, we can experience some equanimity towards friend, enemy, and stranger. So trying to feel some equanimity with between friends, enemies, strangers, we can then become aware that still there is a gap, this huge gap between others.
Even if I feel equally towards all others, my self-cherishing creates this huge gap between all these others and me. Somehow, uncontrollably, I am the center of the universe. I am the important one. So we can begin to lessen that gap, generate more and more equality between self and others by reflecting, trying to discover what makes me so special. Is there any valid basis for believing that I am the special one?
And if we look at other people, other sentient beings, we see them doing so many different actions, behaving in so many different ways. But it’s all because they simply want to be happy. What they do may be quite different from what I do, but isn’t what I do motivated by the wish to be happy? I may think what I’m doing is superior, more skillful, this and that. But whatever I do, it’s simply motivated by the wish to be happy.
I may be studying some advanced dharma book. Why I’m doing it is to be happy. And then there’s a kangaroo eating some leaves because they want to be happy. What’s the difference? What is the real difference?
We may say, oh, but the happiness I’m working for is pure Dharma happiness and animals and other sentient beings. It’s just worldly happiness. That is all that is based on the mere wish to be happy. So what is the difference? What is the real difference?
And we we see people doing negative things in order to be happy, and we think, oh, I I would never do that. I could never do that. But in fact, we’ve done that millions of times in past lives. So what’s the difference between me and that person, the real difference. Can I really say my wish for happiness is really significantly different from the wish of any other human being, even an animal or any other sentient being?
And then if we go back and and look at the behavior of other people, other sentient beings doing so many different things, different from what I do. But, again, why did they do it? To be free of suffering. They’re doing things, believing if I do that, I won’t suffer. I’ll escape suffering.
And isn’t that why I do things? If someone comes towards me in a threatening way, I move away. If I place my finger close to an ant, they move away. I move away because I don’t want to suffer, and the ant runs away because it doesn’t wanna suffer. Is there any difference?
Any real difference? Can I say that somehow my suffering is more special than the suffering of others? That it’s worse than any other sentient beings. Isn’t the case, whatever problem we’re experiencing, whatever suffering, frustration, that seems the worst one. That’s what we want to get rid of straight away.
And isn’t that the case with everyone, every sentient being? So where is this specialness? And I look at other people, and it’s very easy to see the delusions of other people. More difficult to recognize my own, but they’re there. So is there any difference?
I see someone angry, and I’m not angry. I I think there’s a difference, but I have the potential to get angry at any moment. So what is the real difference? Can I find any valid reason to sustain any belief that somehow my delusions aren’t as bad as the delusions of others? Infinite numbers of sentient beings, we all have different bodies, but what is common to all of us, what defines us as sentient beings, is that we have mind.
And the nature of mind is the same. I can’t say that my mind is different from the mind of any other human being, of an animal, a preta, a hell being, or any other kind of sentient being. The conventional nature of the mind is that it is formless, clear, and knowing. That is the nature of my mind. It is the conventional nature of the mind of every sentient being.
So how can I make a difference? And the ultimate nature of my mind is that it is empty of true existence. And that is the ultimate nature of the mind of every being, of every sentient being, whether human, animal, insect, god, hell being. So how can I make a difference? How can I make a separation?
My mind has Buddha nature, Buddha potential, simply because it is mind. The mind of every sentient being has Buddha nature, whether it is an animal, human, god, preta being. So how can I make any kind of distinction? To me, right now, my life is the most precious thing in the universe. Isn’t that the same for every sentient being?
Their life, their very life force is the most precious thing. Even for a cockroach, their life is the most precious thing. How can I make a difference? A separation, Some kind of hierarchy. Just visualize in front of you a vast set of scales.
And on one side, a set of balances. And on one side, put yourself there. And, immediately, the scale goes right down. Then imagine putting other sentient beings on the other side of the set of scales. Just how many sentient beings do we have to put there before that balance equalizes?
So now just be aware one can let go of that visualization, and now just be aware that as we sit here, as I am sitting here, uncontrollably, there is present a sense of I always arising within me. Just in a very simple way, not in any kind of sophisticated analysis or anything. Just try to be aware that there is this sense of me that we’re grasping to right now. Don’t try and analyze what it’s like. Just simply be aware that there is this sense of I constantly present within me.
This cons this I that is constantly wanting happiness, any kind of happiness, This I is constantly afraid of suffering. So as you hold that awareness of one’s own sense of I right now, then just be aware that there is no doubt that everyone in this room has that same thought and feeling. It’s really just the same. It may manifest in different ways, different behavior and speech and obsessions and attachments and aversions. But that sense of I is present in each of us right now.
It’s really just the same. Whether we’re younger or old man or woman, it’s just the same. If we’re very intelligent or not so intelligent, very educated, not so educated, it’s just the same. It’s the same for every human being in this country, on this planet. That sense of I that I have is deep within the heart and mind of every animal, of every kind.
It exists constantly within the heart of every sentient being. Can I really find a difference, any valid difference? We can begin we can conclude this meditation by recognizing that understanding that by focusing on the differences between self and others, that is the basis for every kind of suffering. By focusing on the equality between myself and others, that is the basis for every kind of happiness. It’s the basis for developing love, compassion, patience, equanimity, and bodhicitta.
Make strong determination to use this precious human rebirth while we have the chance to train day by day in practicing equalizing self with others. And recalling the guru Buddha at one’s crown. Imagine this Buddha happily dissolves into light, that blissful light comes down through our crown pervading our whole being, blessing our mind to gain a complete unmistaken, stable realization of the ability to completely, genuinely equalize oneself with others, and through that realization, being blessed to be able to eventually totally generate spontaneous bodhicitta.