Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 39-minute commentary on The Wheel of Sharp Weapons, Ven Margaret McAndrew tackles a common scenario: you’re in a situation where you can’t please anybody, fundamentally incompatible with the people around you. Rather than accepting victimization, she reframes it through Buddhist karma doctrine—your suffering results from past actions where you didn’t sufficiently care about others’ feelings. She offers lojong (thought training), specifically tonglen or taking on others’ suffering, as a way to transform such circumstances into spiritual practice. Drawing on concrete examples—toilet paper placement, St. Francis rejoicing in rejection, a poisoned friend—McAndrew examines how annoying habits are karmic patterns, why changing them matters, and how improved relationships support Dharma practice. The teaching weaves Buddhist doctrine with meditation instruction and lived psychological insight.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 14 SW 1999 03 18.mp3
UUID: a944b188-876f-448c-b0a0-346fe2ccd683
Teacher: Ven Margaret McAndrew
Collection: The Wheel of Sharp Weapons (Ven Margaret McAndrew)
Date: 1999-03-18
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 39.9 minutes
Words: ~3,710
It might be that we find that we’re in a situation where we find that we really just can’t please anybody. It can be like this sometimes. Sometimes we just seem to be in really the wrong situation with the wrong people in the wrong environment and sometimes when you find yourself in this sort of situation, it seems like for a period of time anyway, that you might not be able to make a change, that you’re going to have to stay with that and have to put up with this sort of situation. And so, sometimes it really seems that it’s not anything we’re doing, it’s just that we’re totally incompatible with the people or the environment we’re with and there’s no way that we can please anybody. So if we feel like this, if we feel that we’re in this sort of situation, then we don’t have to feel that we’re somehow victims of society or fate or God or whatever, which is what we tend to think under ordinary circumstances.
If we can’t say that we’re doing anything wrong ourselves, particularly if we analyze the situation and feel that really it’s not what we’re doing ourselves that’s a problem, just the fact that this incompatibility or the fact that we don’t seem to be able to please, then we could get quite depressed about this and feel somehow victimized. But instead we see that it’s our own previous actions of not having cared about the feelings of others and not having thought about how our own actions would affect other beings. And so we do the kinds of actions that they find upsetting and disturbing that causes unhappiness to them. And as a result of this, we’re getting this kind of karmic result ourselves. Does anybody have anything to say about that?
About where the people live. That’s right. Yes. Sometimes they want to see you getting angry too. Yes.
Yes. So it was like a guilt thing he wanted to do in a way to punish him. Yes, that’s something. Yeah, you can understand that too. Yes, yes, you can feel that way sometimes yourself when, you know, you feel you’ve really done something wrong, you really want somebody to go crooked because you feel that you’ve asked for it.
So yes. It is. It’s ignorance actually. Mean if you, yeah, if you’re just sort of indifferent to the whole situation then, as you say, it’s just not caring, then that’s actually ignorance. Not equanimity.
So, this idea of having concern for others, for the effects of our actions on others, is the basis of all Buddhist morality. And The observance of karma is based on understanding this point. What distinguishes non virtuous actions from virtuous actions is that non virtuous actions are those which harm others and virtuous actions are those which are helpful. So we have to observe karma particularly by avoiding harmful actions towards others. We give the explanation of the ten non virtuous actions of body, speech and mind as a guide to helping us to understand which actions are harmful to others, to understand which actions generally affect others in the most harmful way, so as to have guidelines of what to avoid.
So we, in addition to this, have to develop consciousness of our behavior so that we can try to avoid all kinds of harmful and offensive behavior. So, this is the basic practice of morality and the observance of karma. And instead of being made unhappy when we experience the results of our bad karma, we can use it in the practice of thought training. So Geshe Dhargyey says if we practice thought training well then it doesn’t matter how much we’re criticized or insulted and abused, then in our minds we can be living in the pure land. Even though physically we might be living among people who are doing these kinds of things to us.
So it’s a bit hard to imagine really, but if we find it hard to imagine that it’s just because we haven’t trained thoroughly in the practice and if we do continue to do this kind of practice and become skillful at us, then eventually then it will be like that for us. Actually there’s a story of St. Francis that I came across once. I can’t remember the exact details of it, but Saint Francis apparently wasn’t very good looking. And he had a very good looking, one of his other monks, one of the other friars was very good looking at handsome.
So they went begging one day and they separated and went around the town and Francis didn’t get anything. But the ladies all liked the looks of the other guys, so he got a fair amount. So when they met up together again, they sort of had to share the food between them. And as they were going along, Francis just sort of started thinking how fortunate he was to be receiving all these insults and put downs and being rebuffed and so on. He started sort of rejoicing out loud and saying, you know, the most wonderful thing that can happen to you is if you’re insulted and put down, if people turn you away from their doors and all this kind of thing.
The while he was sort of rhapsodizing like this, his other disciple didn’t understand it at all and he said, you know, Brother Francis, how could it be like this? So then Brother Francis had to explain to him about how it was so, you know, such a wonderful practice. So, yes. So he didn’t actually have the Wheel of Sharp Weapons thought training practice but he had the same understanding. .
So we could do a little bit of meditation on that one, on being blamed and criticized. Maybe somebody wants to tell us about their experiences of being blamed and criticized. Yes, you know, it really is something that we find most unpleasant. So, we can meditate on how we really dislike this experience ourselves. So think of others who have to experience this kind of result also.
Think that as we often have to experience this kind of karmic result, we have to experience this kind of treatment by other people, then we can think that we take it on and relieve other beings who have to experience this kind of suffering from this suffering by enduring it ourselves. First of all, before thinking that we think that we’re not going to create the cause for this kind of action in the future. So we’re going to consider how our actions of body, speech and mind affect others and avoid actions that other people find unpleasant and painful. And in this way we’ll avoid creating the kind of karmic cause that would cause us to have to experience these results in the future. So we make a firm determination that in future we’ll watch our behavior towards others and behave pleasantly, make an attempt to behave pleasantly and considerately towards others.
And Then we think of taking on this suffering from others and sending out our happiness and our understanding and merit towards these others. So we should think of course when we’re meditating this way that the people who have been treating us in this way are going to have to experience the sort of karmic result that we’ve been talking about in the future. So we should particularly think about taking this kind of result from them when we do these kinds of practice. Particularly think of the ones we’ve been getting the hard time from. So then the next stanza, I think it’s stanza twenty four, is it?
Yes. Stanza twenty four. Right. Who’d like to read this one? So So, have any of us had all our servants walk out on us lately?
I thought it was the wives who said that told their mother in laws that they taught their sons bad habits. Habits. Anyway, yes, we’re always trying to blame somebody. So, it’s the anyway, if we have this kind of experience of it doesn’t have to be servants, our friends, or maybe people we share with or whatever. So if it’s our experience anyway, that people are annoyed by our habits and can’t stay with us, then this is the result of our lack of consideration for others.
And if we can’t see any obvious cause in this lifetime, then it goes back to our past karma. So I think of course if these kinds of situations are happening with us, then we it’s probably a very good idea to see if we’ve got annoying habits in this life that are driving people away from us. It’s certainly worthwhile. Yes? Calmer.
Does somebody else want to have a stab at that? Mostly it’s from previous lives because it takes generally that long for the karma to ripen. If we create a lot of very strong karma in this lifetime, whether it’s good or bad, we can sometimes begin to experience the effects in this lifetime. But as far as I, I’m not totally sure about this point, I rather get the impression that if you’re going to experience karma in this lifetime, you’re only going to experience some of it. That it will have to be the sort of karma in which you’re going to have to experience a lot more in future lives of the same karma.
I doubt if you can create a karma and use it up completely in this lifetime, although I’m not totally sure at that point. But it seems like it’s really strong, powerful and probably repetitive karmas that we start to experience in this lifetime. So extremely complex, yes. Does anyone anybody want to explain throwing karmas? That’s fairly straightforward.
Yes. Yes. There’s more than three sorts actually, but I forget exactly how it goes. It’s actually I came across this in a book by Joseph Goldstein, who was very good at explaining these things from the Theravadin viewpoint. I forget the name of the book but it’s quite a well known one, The Experience of Insight.
That’s it. I don’t know if it’s still in print but if you can come across a copy of that, it’s a very good book. I’ll get into the karmas in a minute but basically a karma, a throwing karma, usually they use the word projecting karma nowadays, it’s a karmic imprint which can actually produce a rebirth or which does produce a rebirth. Yes. It’s capable of producing a rebirth.
So, the clues refer to the different factors that make a particular karma the one that brings about a rebirth. There are different factors such as the heaviness of the karma, such as it’s being repeated again and again and I forget the other factors but it’s something like the yes, the proximate karma. So for instance, if you’ve got a whole lot of cattle in a barn, you know, then if the door’s been shut and then the farmer opens the door, then one cow has to go out first. And if the herd of cows has a habitual leader, then it will be the habitual leader that goes out first. And that’s the factor of habituation or repetition.
Failing that, if there isn’t a particular karma of that type ready to ripen and bring a rebirth, then the next likely factor would be heaviness. So is a very very strong heavy karma, whether it’s good or bad, if it’s a very very powerful one, for instance in terms of bad karma, a very heavy one would be taking human life. Then it’s like compared to a very strong bull which would just shove its way through all other cows and rush out first. Failing that, then I think it would be the cow nearest the door which would have something to do with the nearness, I think they call it close karma. So then the one that just happens to be nearest to the door would go out first.
And if none of the karmas happen to be near the door then there’s a sort of random process that just any of the karmas could be the one that goes out first. And in that case if you haven’t got any other karmas that fit the other category ready to ripen, then it will be a sort of a random process. It could be anything, any sort of karma. Because we have an incredible collection of karmas. During the course of our lives, we create a lot of karmas every day during the course of our lives we’re going to create quite a lot of karmas that are capable of bringing about a rebirth that be throwing or projecting karmas.
So we’ve got plenty of karmas to choose from. Now we’re talking about the imprint. When we do the karma means action. We do an action which is volitional. So if, if an action, is going to create a a karmic imprint, it generally has to be a volitional action And it depends on what the motivation is that has a strong influence on the karma.
But these actions create imprints on the consciousness which is formless, but which is associated with our body in this lifetime. And then towards the very end of our life when the dying process is starting to get underway, the karma of this life finishes and a mechanism starts to take place in our consciousness which starts to produce a ripening effect which is going to produce the next rebirth. And as we die, this process continues and when the consciousness leaves the body of this life, then it will go on to another life under the force of that next karma, of that projecting karma. Yes. That’s right.
So it’s all explained in that diagram. We’ll have to go through that again. Maybe I’ll sort of take a break in these actually, this is what Geshe Dhargyey said anyway. He said I should talk about karma from the Abhidharma text. And Jamgon Kongtrul has some text which he says would be a suitable one for me to use.
So I’ll have to have a look at that. Ken suggested sometimes instead of talking on this text, should talk on the Abhidharma topic of karma. So I’ll do that. Basically, the explanation that I’ve been giving tonight just now can be found in some of the Graduated Path texts that give more detailed explanations of karma, and this basically comes from the Abhidharma. So think we’ve just got time to do one more stanza because this is a short one.
We’re up to twenty five. Did we finish this one? I don’t think we finished this one. Okay. So, yes, so that’s right.
So we’re still on Stanza twenty four. So, sorry. Had to if anyway, if we check up and do find that the reason why we’re annoying people is because we’ve got these annoying habits then we should try to put these annoying habits right. But of course this is also related to karma because even if we can see the way people are behaving towards us is because of our annoying habits, if they’re all leaving us because of our annoying habits. The reason we’ve got these annoying habits that are hard to break and that upset others is as a result of our past karma and having engaged in these kinds of habits, done these kinds of things in past lives so that we have this karmic patterning or this imprint of this pattern of behavior on our consciousness.
We need to work patiently and not just give up easily. If we find that it’s difficult to change our ways, say for example if we’re bad tempered, if we try to change that it can be difficult to change and we have to keep on working at it patiently and not give up easily. Yes. Well, depends if you keep on doing them to deliberately provoke the other person. No.
These aren’t bad habits in themselves, but being inflexible about them is a bad habit. But it seems to be one of these bad habits which strangely enough gets worse as you get older. This kind of bad habit, strangely enough, seems to get worse as you get older. They call it getting set in your ways. When we’re talking about bad habits, it might not mean the kind of thing that we generally mean as bad habits, but the kind of thing that other people find difficult to live with.
So we need to make an effort to keep on working to change our ways. If we can’t see any need to change our ways about the children, I mean I can see that when I used to really think it’s so obvious that the role should go this way and not that way. I used to think, well what’s the point of making a puss about it? This other sort of voice in my mind would be saying, yes, you know, but then, you know, it’s just so obvious. It’s so stupid to do it the other way.
And so that’s, you know, it’s sort of quite a battle in my mind to come to the point, what does it matter? You know, let them put the roll the other way. It’s not worth all the fuss. Yes. But, you know, I still can’t see why they can’t see that it’s obviously not going to come unrolled as easily.
Gets stuck against the wall. So in the end, you know, you sort of have to ask yourself which is more important, the toilet paper or your relationships. So what Yes, true. I think having a good laugh I think really is something that really helps. If you can laugh at yourself, know, you’ve won half the battle.
So anyway, result of doing this is better relationships in future and we’ll find it easy to practice being pleasant to others and being able to get on with them and being liked by them. This is actually important for our Dharma practice. We might think this is just an ego trip, but it’s important for our Dharma practice because if other people like us and find it easy to get on with them, we’ll encounter more conducive circumstances for our Dharma practice and what’s very important will be able to exert a positive influence on other people. So we want to have these kinds of things. Khensur Rinpoche was teaching recently about the karmic results of our virtuous actions and how we need to practice patience so that we can have a good looking body.
He was telling us this last week, this Tuesday actually. You might think that wanting to be attractive is an ego trick, but the point is that if we’re passably, acceptably good looking and not repellent, then it does help us in relationships with others and we can have a positive influence on them. All the lamas say this is in the Graduated Path teachings, yes. Not necessarily in this life. I mean, you know, you can But, yes, I mean, it’s not saying that we have to be devastatingly sexy and so on, but that we have to be sort of acceptably, you know, look acceptable and not repellent to other people.
So, it’s important to be able to have these results and also then it will be something that just will make it easier for us to feel happy and relaxed with other people and to have good relationships in the future. So if we think of all these things, we think that we’re experiencing these kinds of sufferings now ourselves, we really don’t like having these things happening to us. It makes us think of the sufferings of others. So we first of all think that we don’t want to have to experience this kind of result ourselves in the future, so we make a firm resolve to not do these kinds of actions, to not do these things which upset other people, cause them to be irritated and upset, but instead we’ll consider others, we’ll try to act considerately, to have concern for their feelings, to do things, to avoid doing things that they find unpleasant and to try to make them feel happy and comfortable. And in this way we’re going to experience the good karmic results in future that will bring us the conditions that we like.
And then we do this practice of giving and taking, checking in with the cause of suffering and then taking on this suffering and the cause of suffering from others, and thinking that while we’re experiencing it ourselves then we’re also taking it on from other people so that they don’t have to experience it. So we think we’re relieving them of that. Then we can do the transformation, the blowing up of the self-cherishing, transformation into the purified form after contemplating on emptiness for a moment and we give out all our goodness and happiness to others. So we’ll do that meditation for a short time. While we were doing that meditation, actually, I remembered a story that was told by Jung, Carl Jung, the psychologist.
He had one woman come to him once and she told him this story about how she’d actually poisoned her friend so as to be able to marry her friend’s husband. And then from that time onwards, even though she felt that she could live with it, but everything just went wrong and everybody seemed to turn against her for obvious reason that she could see and that first of all the husband had died and then her daughter had turned against her, all her friends had turned against her and even her animals seemed to have turned against her. And she felt, you know, it seemed like because she’d done that very wrong action that she was experiencing the result in that lifetime. So I think we’ll finish at that point.