Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Venerable Lobsang Namgyel leads a 99-minute Death and Dying Weekend retreat exploring how attachment and fear shape our relationship with mortality and suffering. Opening with group discussions about a participant’s medical trauma and its role in sparking renunciation, the teaching unfolds through concrete modern examples: funeral advertising in Australia revealing cultural anxiety about death, Bernie Siegel’s work with cancer patients, and demographic trends showing rising dementia and Parkinson’s in aging populations. Namgyel addresses euthanasia and end-of-life medical decisions from a Buddhist perspective, stressing compassion for family grief alongside personal conviction. He then maps the six realms of existence not as literal cosmology but as mindsets we inhabit now—showing how each realm embodies a particular suffering (cold, hunger, fear, unsatisfied desire, jealousy, fleeting pleasure)—to motivate practitioners toward liberation rather than merely reshuffling saṃsāra. The retreat culminates in teachings on karma, the power of working with emotion before death arrives, and vivid stories of reincarnation, including a French student’s nine-year retreat understanding how his guru inflated then deflated his ego. Pitched at practitioners with some Buddhist background who have already received teachings on impermanence and renunciation.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 2011 11 26 Death and Dying Weekend.mp3
UUID: b647ef8a-47a0-4d21-a548-5618d8b0548e
Teacher: Ven Lobsang Namgyel
Collection: Death and Dying Weekend (Ven Lobsang Namgyel)
Date: 2011-11-26
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 99.3 minutes
Words: ~10,943
Is short. Page thirty four, taking refuge, and then page thirty five, short mandala offering. I go for refuge until I’m enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Supreme Assembly. By my practice of giving and other perfections, may I become a Buddha to benefit all sentient beings. And then the mandala offering.
Jog shing me tog, tram, ri rab ling gi, This ground anointed with perfume, stream with flowers, adorned with Mount Meru, four continents, the sun, and the moon. I imagine this is a Buddha field and offer it. May all living beings enjoy this pure land. Idam guru ratna mandalakam niryatayami. So the motivation we keep the same as this morning, wanting to liberate all sentient beings from their suffering.
In order to do that, I need to liberate myself. And in order to do that, we need to do something, don’t we, Anna? Alright. The discussion groups. Did you finish?
You got beyond hello, I’m so and so. You got beyond that, didn’t you? So you had interesting talks. So then, there’s group one, two, three, four, five. We’ll start in in that order.
So group one, did you have anything to say, or did you have anything that confused you or any questions that you want to ask? So who’s group one? Okay. So? Or anything to share?
Ganesh. Ganesh and his story. Yes. Yes. That’s very import Do you know what the story is?
She keeps going on about your story, doesn’t she? Is this the operation? The operation. The operation. She can she can give more details than you can.
Obviously. She can So this is the shoulder operation. Is it? Neck. I thought it was the shoulder.
Oh, another operation. And little lifting here. And then taking something away from down here. Oh, I see. That’s how you look so good in your, what, sixty two years of age.
So, you had some profound experience when you were operated on in your neck. I don’t know if I’d like to be operated in my neck. Here? Wow. That’s quite heavy, isn’t it?
Just just that. And what was the profound realization? I want to get out of this country. Out of this? Birth.
Really, did you have a good feeling for renunciation? Really? Yes. Well, also, you’re a doctor, and for a doctor to be a patient is not so easy, is it? So that must have been interesting for you.
Yes, yes. There’s a very nice doctor his name’s on the edge but he’s written some books about cancer and that he wasn’t working with cancer patients or people who were dying, but one day he had to tell somebody they were going to die. And he said to the nurse, Oh, you can tell her. You know, you go in and tell her she’s going to die soon or whatever it was. And the nurse said, no.
No. I don’t want to do it. You do it. And he said, usually, it wasn’t his job. He’d get somebody else to say, you’re going to die.
So he said, oh, alright, then I’ll do it. And he sort of rushed in to say to this lady, you’re going to die. And then he started thinking, but you should do it nicely, you know? You’re going to tell somebody they’re going to die. And he wasn’t connecting with the emotion of it that he was just about to tell somebody your time’s up.
And then he really started to get more and more interested in this and he set up an organization called Exceptional Cancer Survivors or something like that in America. Bernie Siegel is his name. Bernie Siegel. And so one time he shaved his head and sat in the reception with the patients. People were saying, So what sort of cancer do you have?
Because everybody assumed with a shaved head that he had cancer. And he said it was a very interesting experience for him to have this label, you know, how immediately you have the label put onto you because you shave your head, you must have cancer. And, he developed a therapy around, drawing drawing and painting. So he’d asked children to paint their therapy. They’re having chemotherapy or radiotherapy.
So you you draw it or paint it and he’d say, the patient, the child,, they draw really small, you know, like this size. The doctor, huge. The needle, gigantic. You know? So it shows the pictures in the book.
And this is a sign the therapy won’t work because the mind viewing the therapy is viewing it in the wrong way. So depending on the picture that the child draws before the therapy depends whether he gives the therapy or not. And if not, then he works on changing the mind before giving the therapy. So there’s many interesting things that he writes about being a doctor and working now with cancer and some extraordinary cancer people, but, how you have your doctor’s way of training, which is you don’t accept people dying. And this is something he had to change his mind about.
So it’s very interesting to read. Bernie Siegel. Yeah, because if you’re not relating to them, it’s something unknown for you, isn’t it? So when you’re saying to somebody, well, you’re very sick and you’ll be dead within a week or two, bye. You know?
And it’s like there’s no connection with the emotion the other person must feel because ordinary people are not talking about the end of their life. Except I must tell you, in Australia, you advertise a lot that you can buy insurance, for funerals. I have never seen this on TV so much than this part of the world advertises over and over and over. If you, are eighteen to sixty or whatever, it’s gonna cost you a little amount of money, but funerals are expensive, six thousand dollars or more, so you can take out your plan now for your death. And, I think this is quite extraordinary that this is popular advertising.
I’ve never heard of it anywhere else in the world. Really? It really interested me why why in this society is it so interesting? Right. So there’s a market.
Yeah. But usually, it’s not popular. You know? You put advertising on TV about death. Most networks would not want to do this, I would think, because it’s not popular for people to be sitting there with their family and, you know, you’re all going to die and you know it’s like the death meditation that we’re doing and people run out the door but at least they know it’s coming but on TV in prime time you wouldn’t think that advertising for death and funerals is a popular thing to do.
But there must be a very big market for it, otherwise, the networks wouldn’t wouldn’t do it. Buddha house. It’s true. We haven’t got a a copyright. We should have a copyright on death.
We’d make a fortune. Beautiful woman on in the back row. Right. Yes. Right.
Well, it is about death because it’s about when you die, you have to pay for the funeral. Yeah. But it’s all about a funeral. But they keep mentioning funerals. Funerals are about death.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I just wondered in this society, Adelaide, is it particularly accepting about death? Not. Because worldwide, when you talk about death, people are not this interested. Right? Because it’s an aging population.
Right. Right. So it’s not that your society is so accepting of death. They think, oh, this is a good place. You know?
Oh, I see. Right. Right. Right. It’s very expensive.
Can’t we just burn you? A few pieces of wood like in India? Some wood burn you? You know? Because of the fire ban, we can’t burn you.
You know? Wait until next year. We’ll put you in a freezer and wait until next year. So it’s not a solution. Without the coffin.
But where? For that, there is. Really? So free of charge, you can go and dig a hole. Oh, it’s not a hole.
Oh, oh. Right. I see. Oh, I see. I’ve never heard this.
Yeah. And dropped you in. Colump. I see. I never heard of this.
They put a tree there. But this is what I was gonna say about the the the burial places, the cemeteries. Now in many countries they’re digging up the cemeteries. You can’t stay there forever anymore. You can have the land for ten years or twenty years or something like that and then they dig you up and then they put other bodies there.
So that’s what I wondered about here. Is that happening here too? Right. Right. And they’ll dig people up and yeah.
I like the idea of the the burial in the ground. This is a good idea. It must be much cheaper. You know? Right.
Right. But what about sky burial? Do you think we could do sky burial? Sky burial is chopping up the body like they do in Tibet. And you need vault you need vultures.
Because in Bombay, the sky burial. It’s been always done because there’s Parsis there. You know the Parsis who revere fire? They believe in fire. So Parsis also believe in sky burial.
So in, Bombay, they have sky burial, but the problem is now with, poisons in the atmosphere and in the food, whatever the birds are eating is poisoned. The food is poisoned, and the bodies are poisoned with antibiotics and all the drugs and everything that we eat. And so because of that, the birds are dying. And so now the council has said to the parties, you may have to now stop sky burial because you’re going to have bodies lying around with not so many birds. So because of modern pollution, the birds are dying.
So, you know, these were very nice ways of dealing with the situation in Tibet and in India. But now it seems to be there’s more of an industry. If you talk about six to twelve thousand dollars for a very basic funeral, this is expensive. You know? And so it’s another concern.
Now why did we go on to funerals? Oh, you. That’s right. So we were talking that’s right. Now I remember the connection.
We were talking about Ganesh’s throat and death. Yes. I get the connection. Cutting the throat open and death. So did you have any other realizations that you want to share with your Sangha?
And then by that time, people say, well, you know, you didn’t want me last time. I’m not coming this time. People are nice. Yeah. People want to help, but also isn’t there a difficulty with our our response to help?
That we may be helpers, but can we accept help? That’s another thing about control, isn’t it? That we want to help others when they’re suffering, when they have problems, but what happens when people want to help you? What’s your emotional response? And in the beginning, the first time you found pride and, you know, this sort of keep away, leave me alone.
Then it’s interesting when you check. How does it feel to accept? And it’s quite humbling, isn’t it? Really? Oh, that’s interesting.
He what? Couldn’t suppress his happiness. Wow. No. I I two years ago, I think now, I slipped and fell and I broke my wrist and I had to have nails.
And then I had to have somebody dressing me every day, so putting the robes on. And it was really a strange experience, you know, to be in this situation where every day you have to rely on somebody to put your clothes on for you, you know, to help you with this. And traveling around, you know, so I was still teaching, still traveling. And it was very interesting experience, know, sort of this heavy cast, You can’t do many things for yourself, and if you’re going to have a shower, you’ve got to cover it all up and, you know, this sort of thing. And you realize that, you know, as you get older, you don’t necessarily have to rely, but probably you do.
You know? And if we’re not thinking about impermanence and changes of situations, then when we get into this situation of relying on others, it can really feel like we’re putting a burden onto people, and yet people very joyfully want to help, want to give. And we’re saying no. You’re basically stopping them from being helpful, but they want to help, you know? So I think this is another thing that’s very interesting to discuss and to think about.
Okay. Anything else? Anxiety, depression, fear? And at the time, did the people who had those episodes, did they realize it was impermanent? Not.
So it’s important before we experience the emotion to meditate on the impermanence of things because then when something happens, you injure your body, your mind changes, your emotions change, It’s important to have that memory. Things are impermanent. This will change. You don’t understand others. Yeah.
Who else was in your group? Something else? I saw the finger go It’s a sign with Ganesh. He goes like this. I think it’s sort of from the old days when he used to go like this.
Yeah? Is it necessary? I wonder. What do you think? Oh, sorry.
Burst your ears. I don’t know if you need to go through the actual experience or, alternatively, you meditate on the experience. Because one way is you experience everything in a conventional way. Right? And the other way would be that if you don’t have that level of compassion of understanding how others feel, you need to meditate on it in order to approximate how would it feel to be incapacitated, how would it feel well now dementia and Alzheimer’s and all these sort of things how would it feel to be like that?
You know? And often, I don’t think you need to actually, you know, sit with the altar and, you know, like this. But just to sit, I often sort of just sit there and I think: So what would it be like to have dementia? I don’t know, I can’t remember. You know?
What would it be like? I don’t know. What was the point? You know? So then you start to think Oh, it’s already here.
But Parkinson’s and all these sort of things, what would it be like? And just to let your mind, you know, sort of follow that train of thought of you may not be healthy as you thought you were going to be. The numbers are now increasing that as you get older you’ve got more incidents of dementia, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, these sort of things. I mean I heard something the other day that because the average age of death is getting older you have something like sixty percent or seventy percent of chance of having Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. I think it was something like that.
So these statistics I find a little bit worrying, you know? I’ve rushed down to the health shop health food shop and bought more vitamins, just in case. But you know, more than half are going to experience these heavy sicknesses. And so do you do you need to experience it to understand somebody else’s? You may experience it and still not use that experience in order to understand somebody else’s.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that, does it? Well, you’re a nurse also, so you’ve seen a lot of suffering. So they haven’t gone into full dementia where they just don’t remember at all. Dementia? What’s that?
You know? Then you’re probably okay. Well, know somebody, a Dharma student, whose grandmother is experiencing this. And so I think about two years ago, she asked me, the granddaughter asked me, what should I do with my grandmother? And I said, put her in a home.
And she said, oh, I I really don’t like the the feeling of doing this. And I said, but you’re not there. There’s nobody there to take care of her. You don’t know what she’s going to do. And she said, oh, you know, I don’t think it’s that bad yet and blah blah blah.
So I’m really selling the, you know, give up her home and put her into a care facility as soon as possible. So she went to visit her grandmother, and her grandmother said to her, who are you? And she hadn’t realized on the phone that it got to this stage. Who are you? And she said, I’m your grandmother.
I’m a granddaughter. I’m your granddaughter. Who? No, no, no. You’re not.
And then the next day, something completely different. So it wouldn’t be the always the same who are you? But then she’d remember who she was and then abuse her for something. And then she’d get up at three o’clock in the morning and wake the granddaughter up. Get up.
You know, it’s time to get up, you lazy thing. Why aren’t you up? You know? Past and yeah. All all different stuff.
And then she started writing to me and saying, oh, it’s true. You know? I don’t know what’s gonna happen. And I think there was something about a fire, you know, one thing and another. And, you know, you realize this is quite dangerous.
And we’re in a fortunate time where there are care facilities, where people can be looked after if there’s not an extended family. And so, yeah, that stage of remembering forgetting, I think is very stressful on the family. You know? It’s really a harm to their heart because they’re reaching out wanting to be remembered. And one day they’re remembered and one day they’re not.
Right. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yeah. It it must be really difficult. You know? I I hadn’t really come in contact much with dementia, but through this one and the emails and reading the prostrations and the inability to do anything, I thought this must be very frustrating and it brings up irritability and anger.
And so there’s this dharma practitioner and she’s trying to do the best for her grandmother and she’s feeling irritability and anger because she said she’s waking me up every night. She comes at midnight and wakes me up. She comes at two o’clock, four o’clock and wakes me up and says, Get up! Right. Right.
They need care. Constant care. Yeah. No. No.
So these are also issues, you know, that you’re going to have to deal with, maybe yourself, others, who knows? But we’re going to have to be able to deal with things without frustration, irritability and anger. Isn’t it? So if you’re not meditating, you’re not dealing with these issues when you’re younger, you don’t have the karmic imprints when you’re older to be able to deal with things in a balanced way. This is something to really consider.
If we’re talking about sixty percent of us, as we’re getting older, are going to get sick in a crucial way. You know, we’re not talking about minor sicknesses. This is major. Doctor Death. Talk to Ganesh about it.
Death. Euthanasia. Talk to Ganesh about it. He carries his needle wherever he goes. In his in his hip pocket, you know.
Do you believe in euthanasia? No. As Buddhists, we don’t believe in euthanasia. May seem like the solution at the time, but then, if you give authority for somebody to kill, many things can go wrong. Oh, me, personally.
I know what you mean. Euthanasia is when somebody else does it to you, and if you do it yourself, it’s then termed suicide. If you if you kill yourself, it’s suicide, not euthanasia. Right. You think it still is?
Yeah. The self euthanasia kit. Yeah. Yeah. The machine.
Yeah. In Buddhism, we don’t don’t put it forward as the the answer Because of karma. You shorten your life, you shorten your karma, and then you take your karma with you to the next life. So then but then it’s your life. It’s something you need to decide on.
Right? So from a Buddhist perspective, we don’t kill. But it’s your decision. It’s your life. You decide what you do with it.
You’ve been waiting for a long time. I’m sorry. Especially with all this advertising. We’re all thinking about funerals now. Right.
Right. If there was something cheap and simple. That’s true. Yeah. Yeah.
Right. Right. Right. Right. It’s for them, not for you.
But would they be happy? True. That’s true. Yeah. That’s true.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You hoped. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They’re happy you died. You’re happy you gave it to them.
Yeah. Instead, we’ve got these stuff where you’re sitting around. Yeah. The money’s going down. Down.
And then die. Die. You know? Hurry up. Hurry up.
You know? The money’s dwindling. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.
I’ve had enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I don’t think so. I mean, you know, we were talking about this recently about should you have chemo or not. I must tell you the Tibetan Llamas will not have radiotherapy and chemotherapy. They say it really affects the energy system, the subtle energy system, and particularly radiotherapy they don’t like.
It’s yeah. But the radiotherapy, the lamas say, burns a hole in your aura. And so energetically they don’t like it. I’m going to ask my cancer expert back to you Ganesh. So if you don’t take chemotherapy as a doctor would you term that suicide?
It’s just one of the choices that you can make within your range of choices isn’t it? Oh my god! Incurable. So if it’s an incurable condition, then what do you recommend? Right.
Right. Right. Yes. Ah, so then what does Western medicine view this as? Can you force a patient to be treated?
You can’t. They get forced. Not by the parents, but by the medical system. Yeah. But you have to make a document.
So this needs to be clear, doesn’t it? Yeah. Yeah. It’s like I say to people, you know, you’re ninety years of age. You know, your granny’s ninety years of age.
She’s dying peacefully, so she dies, and they rush in with the paddles, you know, and boom. Come on, granny. You know, stay alive. You’re only ninety. And it’s sort of like our view has changed of death and and how to die, that it used to be acceptable to just die, but now the system wants you to stay alive.
And so where’s the the line between keeping you alive, refusing treatment? These are interesting conversations maybe that people need to have. Right. Yeah. Because of what?
The attachment. Well, we have such an attachment for life, don’t we? I often think, you know, this is a very good conversation we’re having because the attachment is so strong when we’re leaving this body, what’s the biggest freak out? You know? The biggest cause of anxiety and fear and all of this that we’re discussing is this attachment to this body.
And inevitably, we must leave this body, but we’re so attached to it that when we’re leaving it, this must be the biggest distress to the attached mind if it doesn’t know about attachment as something negative. You go through your whole life being attached, promoting attachment, you know. You should have seen Lindy and Zara. She did not want to let go of those clothes, You know? Her fingers were locked on them.
You know? That’s just a small attachment. So you know you can be attached to your clothes, your shoes, your house, your family. This root attachment, you know, the very, the very one underneath the surface that makes you feel this is mine. I want it.
Is very much associated with the body. With the me, me, mine, my body. So at the time of death, the biggest challenge is leaving this body because of the attachment to the form. So as much as we have attachment to our own form, then we start to develop attachment for others forms. And so then this is what you’re saying is that others have an attachment for your form.
When you’re dead, what’s the difference between life and death? Just the consciousness is gone. Right? So one minute that the body alive is valuable, dead, the consciousness is gone, you say, well, for me nothing. It doesn’t mean anything now.
But for the family they still view it as something that they’re attached to, that they want to treat with respect, and they want to use it as an object of grieving. And so actually your way of thinking is very nice because you’re practicing compassion towards your family. If you didn’t care about your family, you say, well, you know, I’m not paying all this money to to care about your feelings, then you say, well, just throw the body away. Who cares about the body? Or I’m signing it over to the university.
But would that be compassionate towards your family? No. Yeah. Well, I think, yeah, as practicing Buddhists, we need to be careful that at the time of death we’re not pretending to be good Buddhists in the sense of just throw the body away because that’s what your Sangha might expect of you. But in actual fact, you do consider those who are attached, who are not working on their attachment in the same way as you would be, and what would they expect?
So there’s always two sides or more sides to the equation than just the one one view. You know, when we’re talking about this attachment to the body, there’s the view of oneself, one’s own belief system. Am I attached to my body? Do I care what happens to this body? You may not.
But then from the side of the family, the friends, you look at the Tibetan system for high lamas, for your guru and people like this. What would you do with the body? You would do something very special with it. So there’s an indication that from respect in the Tibetan system something nice would be done with the body in the sense of preserving the body or putting it into a stupa, you know, something like this. So I think in our system, one thing that is happening is that if there’s a cremation people are taking the ashes and then using them to make Buddha images.
And this can be a very nice thing to do if there’s a cremation. If there’s a burial, you don’t have the ashes. But with the ashes, then you can make tsa tsas of Buddha images or stupas or something like this. And so it could be a way of satisfying both sides, oneself and the family. But I think very much when we talk about emotions, we’re not just talking about ourselves, we’re talking about our family and our friends.
How are we caring about them? You know? Not just cutting off our own emotions, but there’s going to be an emotional response from them, isn’t there? So are we caring about that? Okay, so back Joe, you had something to say before.
Oh, yeah. An attachment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, know, the most success the most successful advertising in the newspapers is when there’s a disastrous story on the front page. So, airplane crash, and in the corner is Cadbury’s chocolate or Nestle’s chocolate or something like that. They say the chocolate sales rocket when there’s a disaster on the front page. Then the space is much more sellable for a high price when there’s a disaster. So this is marketing and advertising, they know all about this.
There was one guy from BMW on a Tuśita course last time I was there, and I said to him, so what are you doing here? He said picking up some pointers, You know? They study Buddhism. They study psychology. All these different things to be able to sell something to you that you don’t necessarily want.
If you’re gonna buy a car for at least double the price of a normal car, they have to know how to sell it to you. And these are well, we’re we’re told this, you know, that if we drive this particular car you’re gonna look really sexy. But, there was a friend of mine and when I arrived in this country, I won’t say the country, but when I I won’t say the country. And when I arrived in that country he said to me very crestfallen and you know, the new car hasn’t arrived and I said oh that doesn’t matter he said I’ve hired one and it’s really embarrassing it was whatever it was but just an ordinary car you know that he’d hired to drive me around. And he said, but don’t worry, I’ve rung Mercedes and I’m trying to get a similar car to the one I’m buying so that you can have some time here.
I said, it really doesn’t matter. So it turns out he was buying the new Mercedes sports which was a hundred and ten thousand euro and his business was doing really badly and going down but he insists he has to have this car. Right? Because it’s got the metallic roof that goes back you know so you press the button and the metallic roof goes back so it looks like a real metal roof but it’s not. It’s a what do they call them retractable so he said to me we get this Mercedes sports car and I’m sitting in it and you know I’m thinking would I pay a hundred and ten thousand Euro for this car Nice, but I’m not sure.
And he said to me we’re driving into town and I said what for? He said you’ll see. So we drove into town, we parked and I said where we’re going? He said we’re staying here. So we had to sit there and women were driving past in cars and they’d look at him.
He’s bald, maybe in his fifties, bald, and he said, You see that? They look at me. So his whole thing was to look like James Bond. You know, we we used to watch James Bond movies in in his language, you know. James.
Moneypenny. So this was all this hundred and ten thousand euro was an investment in looking good, you know, and they know how to sell that to you. There’s a beautiful woman draped across the bonnet, you know, if if you’re a man. So I really saw this at first hand. This person does not have the money to buy this car, but has to have this car because it’s caught up in in the persona, you know, needing to project in a certain way.
That’s the society that we’re now in. We have to have certain things in order to feel comfortable. And if we don’t have those things, what comes up is the fear, the anxiety, the depression. You know, we start to feel there’s something wrong if we don’t have those certain things. What’s that bald man doing?
What’s that bald man doing in that gorgeous car? With that other strange thing sitting next to him. They probably think, what’s that? But that’s isn’t that how your mind works? In that when people look at you, you can think, oh, they’re they’re really looking at me you know like desirable you wouldn’t think oh they’re looking at me undesirably just they’re looking at me in a desirable way you know I’m the desire object so it’s interesting how you’re you’re writing the story in that way He’s paid a hundred and ten thousand euro to write the story in that way.
And but why? It’s about attachment, fear, anxiety. Right? Otherwise, he gets depressed. If he doesn’t have that car, he gets depressed.
Yeah. We’re needy. Yeah. How others are labeling you and perceiving you. And we think that by paying a lot of money we can adjust the labeling system.
You know? We can change the time out over to gorgeous, handsome by paying that sort of money. This is another illusion that we’re writing in the story, isn’t it? Yes, Ganesh? Fear.
Yeah. That’s a great program. Oh. There was a survey done on, this is not very pleasant, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. There was a survey done on women who were raped.
And eighty percent of them had a feeling something was about to happen. Eighty percent. Before. Something was about to happen. That means before.
In my language. So you two Germans. So it was about to happen and the people doing the survey said, So why didn’t you do something? They said, Because I felt the fear arising. I saw the man coming behind me, but then I thought, Oh no, I won’t get raped.
Nothing will happen to me. And sort of negated it. So it was very interesting in the survey that most people do seem to have a fear which is connected to survival. You know, the instinct to survive and to be able to get yourself out of dangerous situations. Now whether we have wisdom associated with that is the other thing.
How do we filter the information? So we have the information arising from our instincts but we don’t seem to be able to now filter it into a message that helps us. This is this seems to be the problem. So do we need fear? Lama Zopa has just written a whole book on fear.
You know, what’s it called? Positive fear or healthy fear or something like that. He’s written a whole book on fear. From a Buddhist perspective, it’s said that we need fear. We need constructive fear.
In Buddhism it says if you’re not afraid of the hell realms then you don’t necessarily do positive actions and avoid the negative actions. So the way to stimulate oneself into avoiding the negative and doing the positive is by being aware of the hells. And then you become interested in the heavens, the great pleasure. But then you see that also as a waste of time and using up a whole lot of negative karma and then you become more aware of other possibilities. But it’s basically if you take somebody starting out in Dharma, the beginning of that used to be the hells.
Now we virtually never talk about hell. Nobody wants to hear it. You know? Same in Christianity. Right?
They don’t want to hear it. But now in Buddhism, we have eighteen hells. I say to people many more than Christians. We’re much worse. My very first course in Copan, all I heard about was hell, hell, hell for two weeks.
Living in hell with Bill? Living with Bill must oh, sorry, Bill. Sorry. I didn’t realize you were listening to that, Bill. Right.
Right. Right. Well, think you need you need to have a way of motivating yourself into avoiding negative and doing positive. Right? For some people that’s thinking about future lives and wanting to avoid the suffering in future lives.
Some people don’t want to think about that at all. And so sometimes what I do is I talk about negative states of mind, hellish states of mind that exist in this life. And this we very much can see. You know? You see, people who are, living in places that are very cold, extremely cold.
People who live in extreme hot places like if you live in Rajasthan, you know in India in the summer they have to walk all day just to get a small bucket of water. Africa the same. Right? So this is not exactly a hell in that a hell would go on on and on and on and on but it’s an indication of what it must be like. Just that extreme hot, extreme cold.
What it would I be like now we’re starting to get a bit hotter in this room. Right? We’re gonna turn up the heat, you know, so you’re sweating. And you start, oh, god. It’s getting hot in here.
And you might suffer from it, but you think, oh, it’s finishing soon, you know, or I can do something about it. But what about if you’re in the situation and you can’t do anything about it? You know? I lived in Delhi for three years, and it got to forty seven degrees. Forty seven.
The the the, electric station blew up, you know, because it couldn’t stand it anymore, so it blew up. We had no power for days, meant you had no water, no fan, you know, nothing in June, July, August. So it’s so hot and I’m thinking, oh poor me, you know, why me? Why Delhi? You know, and I’d recognize this way of thinking that you’re starting to think why me, why Delhi?
And I go around the corner to the slum where people had a tiny room, six feet by six feet, you get maybe ten people living in this small room. And the kids are playing and, you know, they’re having a great time. And I think, well, there you go. You know? I’m much better off than them, but they’re still happy.
Right? And so you see how your mind, given the situation, can create a hell. That it’s so hot you feel like you’re going mad. Because this this heat is unrelenting. I mean, people commit murder in this heat.
It’s so hot. And so I saw the way that your mind can start to change in relation to the heat. But a hell is something that you’ve created from your mind. It your mind is hellish, and you join together with others of a similar mind and you’re suffering similarly. So not exactly the same as a as a hell, a realm that we experience, but we can experience something similar where you think, oh, I wouldn’t want to go through that.
Wouldn’t want to experience that. And so from that hot experience in in Delhi, I developed a great appreciation for people who are living in very difficult circumstances, you know, and how the mind can respond in a very negative way to extremes. And then there’s hungry ghosts who can’t find food. You also see this in India, you know, but it’s described as very thin throat, very, very big stomach, and always hungry. Well, there’s people in our society who feel they don’t have enough.
You know? They have, but they don’t have enough. They always want more, more, more. And these are often the people you find in the shopping centers or, you know, shop, shop, shop. Like that.
So, hungry ghosts. So it doesn’t mean you have to go and become a ghost. You can be a hungry ghost as a human being. Never having enough, Clutching the credit card, you know, and always more and more. And then animals.
We can see the animal realm very easily. And what’s pervasive in the animal realm is fear. Fear and anxiety. Always looking, you know. Watch the birds.
We think, oh beautiful bird, look at the colors, but actually watch them, the head. You know, it’s this constant darting, you know, because they’re terrified of something else attacking them. So what’s pervasive in the animal realm is fear and anxiety. Then the human realm, it’s the desire realm. We won.
We won. We won. It’s desire and attachment, and we always want a bit more. We’re never satisfied. So our problem is dissatisfaction.
And so that dissatisfaction promotes more desire for more things, more people, more relationships, whatever. And then the the demigod realm is, jealousy. You look at the gods, the rich people on the hill, and you look at them and think, well, how come they’re rich? How come they’ve got so much? So this is like, in our society, the hills, isn’t it, where she lives?
Not you. You. Je t’accuse, you and you. The two rich ones the two rich ones living up in the hills, and we’re in the slums, you know, down in the valley. And we’re looking up at them and thinking, well, why does Lindy live up there, you know, in her rich palace?
We can think like that. Or Brazil. Isn’t it Brazil where you’ve got this huge slum in the mountains? So it’s this sense of the demigods. We talk about demigods and gods.
It’s supposed to be more fortunate, but basically so much suffering because of jealousy. And you’re always looking at others and thinking, why do they have it and why don’t I? We can find this in the human realm, you know, constantly jealous. And you say, where did you get that? Zara.
Why why can’t I shop in Zara? It’s not fair. It’s just not fair. Zara pay me a certain amount to mention Zara fourteen times. I’m commission.
I’m on commission. Tomorrow, I’m on to Woolworths. Zara’s not open on Sunday. So tomorrow’s my my sponsor is Woolworths. But, you know, somebody somebody can go to Zara.
Right? Put Zara clothes on, and then somebody else can be thinking, well, why can’t I do that? Not how how wonderful you can do it, but why can’t I do it? Right? And then the god realm is that person who has everything, incredible pleasure, incredible what they may call happiness, but it’s going to finish.
And the people below are looking at the people above and thinking, why are they so happy? Why do they have so much? But not seeing the suffering. So what’s pervasive in every realm, in all of us, is suffering. And what we’re not recognizing is the suffering.
Whether we’re talking about, the cold, the extreme cold, the extreme heat, the extreme hunger or the extreme thirst or the fear of the animal realm or the human realm, the desires or the demigod, the jealousy and wanting what they have and the god realm party party twenty four hours a day and it’s Bollywood, Mollywood, Collywood. You haven’t got an Adelaide, Hollywood have you? Hollywood. We’ve got Collywood, Tullywood, Bollywood and Collywood. Right?
We. So, you know, think look at them. They’re partying all the time. They’re having such a great time. Why why isn’t that me?
What’s pervasive in every single situation? Suffering. And that’s why the first noble truth, what’s true, is wherever you’re born in saṃsāra, it’s suffering. And so, you know, we can be bargain bargain hunting, if you like. We’re bargain hunting for another rebirth.
Sort of cheap, nice, you know? But in actual fact, what we should be doing is thinking it doesn’t matter where we’re reborn. The only thing is to get out completely. Because then when you get out completely, when you’re a bodhisattva or you’re a buddha, then you can come back in a beneficial way, in a helpful way. But when you’re just here managing your suffering and your problems, you don’t have a lot of space and time to give love, kindness, compassion to others.
We’re managing it, you know, with all the suffering and the problems. So I think it’s helpful when we’re talking about the the afflictive emotions that we’re experiencing, that we remember the reason we experience it is because of saṃsāra. It’s not that there’s something special about us and that we can completely be okay in saṃsāra. No matter where you are in saṃsāra, there’s always going to be some problems because the nature of Samsāra is suffering. Right?
The very first noble truth, the Buddha taught suffering. So it’s not that, well, you know, if you shop at Zara, you’re okay. If you shop at Kohl’s, you’ve got problems. It’s not like that. It’s if you shop anywhere, why are you shopping?
Are you shopping because you need to eat or because of desire and attachment? Right? So it’s not that dependent on the level of shopping depends whether you’re happy or not. Not like that. It’s that it doesn’t matter where you are in Samsāra, if you’re in the hills or down, whether you’re in Sydney or here, whether you’re in, Mexico or here, it doesn’t matter.
We’re all in Samsāra. And Samsāra means uncontrolled birth, death, rebirth. Uncontrolled. We don’t have a choice. The wind is blowing, and our rebirth goes wherever the wind is blowing.
The wind is karma and delusion. That’s the propelling force. Right? And so what we want to do is as quickly as possible take the power out of the force that’s taking us to the next rebirth which is delusion. That’s the emotional force.
Okay? So one of the strong emotions that we’ve established is this emotion of, attachment, desire attachment for the body and for the family and for what’s around you. This is a very powerful force that holds you in your present position and will propel you into your future rebirth. So I think this is very important to understand that because we’re in saṃsāra, we’re just playing with creams, you know, to make saṃsāra a bit more pleasant. It’s like you’ve got I often say, you’ve got a cancer here and you put a band aid over it and you say, I don’t see it, so it’s okay.
That’s what we do when we shop. Right? That’s what we do when we buy the nice car, we buy the nice house. Samsāra is the cancer and we’re putting the band aid over it and saying it’ll be okay because I don’t see it. First, we need to take the Band Aid off and look at the nature of the suffering.
And when you look at the nature of the suffering, then you think, oh, you know, that’s not very pleasant. So, I can’t remember who said it. Nāgārjuna or one of these great masters said, you know, when there’s, a pimple or something like that and you scratch it, it feels pleasurable? Well, it’s better not to have anything to scratch at all. What we’re doing is scratching saṃsāra.
Our situation is we’re in saṃsāra, and we sort of scratch. And because we scratch, we think, oh, that feels quite nice. And the scratching is the shopping the all the things that we do basically to organize our lives to be a little less painful, a little bit more pleasurable. But when you look at the ultimate goal of what we’re doing, it’s to be a benefit to others. The ultimate goal.
We want to be of the most benefit to the most number of beings as possible, as quickly as possible. So in order to do that, then we need to remove these disturbing emotions, replace them with the positive emotions, the love and the compassion, and then, work on the karma, removing the karma. These negative seeds that we have from beginningless time that are forcing us to repeat the same thing over and over. You know, you fall down the hole, you climb out. You fall down the hole, you climb out.
When you’re going to stop falling down the hole? We need to stop falling down the hole. Right? So who dug the hole? I did.
So you stopped digging the hole and you stopped throwing yourself down. So the digging what made you dig the emotion? The feeling. I must dig a hole. Right?
So you dig the hole and then the karma is throwing you down the hole. So we need to do something about both of them. But I think which is easier to do? Maybe just start with the emotions is the best in the beginning. Because karma, I’m not sure we really believe in it.
I’m not really sure we believe it’s there. But the emotions we experience. You believe in karma, Anna? You believe in karma, Anna? You’re my one of my jewels.
You know? You’re one of Charlie’s angels. But often we talk about karma and it’s a bit like, Yeah, karma. Yeah, yeah, karma. I’ve seen that in movies, you know?
Something happens. Right. What happens if you’re unskillful and nothing happens? But what what happens if you’re unskillful and not there’s nothing happening, nothing bad happening? Or if you do something really good and you get slapped in the face?
Then would you think karma is still operating? Well, And I think a lot of people in Western society think karma is instant. I do something unskillful, something bad happens. I do something good, something good happens. But the real understanding of karma is I do something bad and something good could happen.
And I think, woah. Now that’s good. You know? I did something bad, something good arose. So it’s like good luck, bad luck.
And what we need to understand is that the result does not arise immediately from the cause. They’re separate. This is why I say, I’m not sure in the West everybody understands karma really deeply. I think on the surface we say karma, you know, cause and effect, like that. But this idea, I do something good, we expect something immediately good to come back.
I give you a gift I get a gift back. Right? But if I give you a gift and you slap me then would I relate that to karma or what would I think? Yeah. Yeah.
This is the difficulty. It’s like when I say about the the cockroach that if the cockroach is walking here and you don’t like cockroaches and you go like that and you kill it, you know you break its back if immediately your back went snap you think, calmer. I should have been careful. You know because snap, snap. But you break this back here nothing happens.
So you think it’s okay. I got away with it, you know. It’s okay. You don’t even consider that by breaking this cockroach’s back anything could happen to my back. But a hundred years later, two hundred years later, your back goes snap.
You know Christopher Reeves? Wasn’t it? He dives into a pool or something and his back goes snap. Why? Well, I’ve heard two stories.
One was that he was on a horse and the other is he dived into a pool. I’m not sure which is true. We need to go back to the Internet. I think he was jumping across the pool. But, yeah, I heard I’ve heard two stories, and I’m not sure which is the true story, but it was a freak accident.
Right? And when you say, wow, that’s bad luck. You know? But what’s the cause? We don’t relate it.
We can just say bad luck, good luck. So we need to be very careful when we’re thinking about karma that the cause and the effect is not necessarily related and probably is not related. The cause and effect is separate. Right. Right.
Right. Right. He built he became an extraordinary person. So Yeah. He set up a foundation, which was trying to find a cure for his particular problem, which is the spinal problem that he had.
And he could have gone the other one next. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So this is the situation is that life is is as it is.
Whatever’s happening around you is as it is. But what’s your response to it? What are you bringing to it? And you can either respond in a in a negative way and think, well, poor me, you know, now I’m paralyzed. My life is over.
I’m so depressed. Or you could respond in a very positive way, which he did. So you can see this is when, we face great suffering. Do we stay ordinary or do we become extraordinary? I think it’s the suffering that really sorts people out, You know?
And what we’re avoiding most of the time in our society is suffering. But actually, when people experience great suffering, they can also experience great change, great transformation. And I think one of the great sufferings is death. Because of the the detachment, detaching from the body, I think this is a great suffering because of our attachment to form. This is mine.
And so if we train, then, like I say to people, if there’s no future lives and you trained, no harm. And if there is a future life, it’s okay. It’s like if you’re Christian and you’re not sure there’s heaven or not. Well, if you’re a good Christian, you’ll find out, you know, whether the steps and Peter’s at the gate. And if none of that happens, well, okay.
At least you’re a good person in your life. So I think this idea of reincarnation, coming back, if it’s not true, then being a good person in this life, helping others doesn’t do any harm. And if it is true, it’s benefited you and it’s other people. My I mean, I believed in reincarnation anyway, but from being with Lama Osel when he was small, I really, saw that it was true. He couldn’t have known the things that he knew without being reincarnated as Lama Yeshe.
Couldn’t have known. What now? What is he now? He’s a man. He is still a though.
Oh, no. No. No. He hasn’t been a monk for a long time. But he he’s a photographer, cinematographer, making films.
He’s involved more with the FPMT. But I think he wants to be an ordinary person. I think, you know, there’s many stories around this, but when he was very young, Lama Zopa said if he declared Lama Osel to be Lama Osel, Lama Yeshe when he was very small, there’d be obstacles. If he didn’t, there’d be obstacles, and so he chose to go with declaring it. What it meant was, Lama Osel never had a private life, was always in the spotlight.
And I think there was a point in his life, seventeen, eighteen, where he decided enough is enough. You know, I want to be private. I want to just do my own thing, which was education. He went to school and got a degree and, you know, did all the things that he wanted to do. And I really see in the Llamas now a great interest in media.
I think the Llamas have figured out that to reach the most number of people, you don’t teach like this. You make a film and you can reach a million people. With, you know, similar efforts, you can reach a lot rather than a few. So it seems like the Lamas are now getting more and more involved in films, making movies. And also Zanskar, Khyentse Rinpoche.
Same thing. But, when Lama Osel was very small, the first thing he did when he met his old students was the last thing that he did when he was Lama Yeshe. So what he did was Lama Yeshe was the first thing he did as Lama Osel. Exactly the same thing. And I saw this with many people, not just one or two, many.
Did I tell you about the Frenchman? Okay. Just I’ve got four minutes. I’ll tell you my French story. But don’t tell anybody.
Okay? This is a secret between us and don’t tell anybody and particularly don’t tell Bill because you know what a gossip he is. So we don’t want him to know. Okay? So keep it quiet.
Waiting for the door to burst open. Okay, so I’m with Lama Osel in Kopan and I think he was about four four or five at that time. And, he was on the go eighteen hours a day. And I was one person taking care of him. And, whenever he was with somebody, I always used to take the opportunity of doing something else doing the laundry or organizing something.
You know you’d have ten or fifteen minutes free and you could get something done. So one day a French guy came to see Lama Osel and he had some gifts so he was carrying these gifts and this guy had a big bushy beard you know so a huge beard, mustache, lots of hair and a very French accent So I can’t do the French accent very well, but I’ve tried to do this in France. It don’t ruin the story. I tried to do this in France, and it didn’t go down very well. So my grandmother was French.
Good morning. How are you? You know? Like this. I’m telling you this because it there’s a relevance to the story.
So his English was okay, passable, but not great. Okay? I want to meet the Lama, Oudsdale. So I said, oh, yes. Yes.
No problem. He said, I knew Lama Yeshi in nineteen seventy something, so I’d like to see Lama Osel. Yeah, yeah, no problem. So I went into Lama and the guy’s just behind me and I said, there’s somebody here to see you and, he’d like to offer you something. So he went in, I went out, and I go off to do whatever I’m going to do.
So after about fifteen minutes somebody said to me, where’s Lama Osel? And I said, oh, he’s with a visitor. You leave him alone? I said Oh yeah, I always leave him alone. It’s a good opportunity to go away and do something.
And he said Oh, I would never do that. I’d never leave him alone. I said Really? And then I got worried. You know, fear anxiety arose.
Oh, what could be happening? So I rushed back. I opened the door, and this French guy turns to me, sitting on the floor. Lama’s here. He’s on the floor.
I come in the door there. He says, You would not believe what the Lama said to me. And I said, Oh, dear. What happened? And he said, Well, I come in, I do the prostrations, I give the gift.
And the lamas looked at me and he said to me, You think you’re so handsome, don’t you? But you’re not. I am the handsomest in the world, and you are really ugly. Before the guy says, Tashi Delay, you are really ugly, and I am really handsome. I said, oh, dear.
Well, you know, I don’t know. If you’ve had children, what you do is you give them the laser beam, the the look. Well, Lama, what you meant is he’s very handsome and you’re ugly, isn’t it? And the guy said, no. No.
No. No. No. This proves to me this is Lama Yeshe. Why?
He said, well, I’ve heard many Tibetans say this couldn’t be Lama Yeshe because he’s Spanish. They believe in reincarnation, but only in the Tibetans. Apparently, you can’t reincarnate outside. So, he heard rumors that Lama Yeshe has not reincarnated as Lama Osel, and he wanted to check for himself. So he said, I’ll tell you my story.
I was a hippie down in Kathmandu smoking dope, and I wandered up the hill one day because I heard there was a very good teacher. And I came up, and they said, you can stay here at Copan and take teachings. So he moved up to Copan. And after a day or two, he met Lama Yeshe. And Lamayeshi said, oh, now remember the French accent?
We’re talking about twenty years before. He said my English was terrible, really broken. Right? So Lama Yeshe said to him, oh, your English is really good. Little bit like miss Piggy maybe or something like that.
I do not speak so good English. Yeah. Yeah. Your English is incredible. Really?
I did not think my English was so good. No. No. Your Lama your English is very good. You should teach a Lama.
So he said for days, every day Lama would see me and tell me the same thing. Your English, it’s so good. Day after day. So he said, what I didn’t realize was Lama was making my ego bigger and bigger and bigger to the point where I said, Oui, Lama, I will become your English teacher. Or maybe it’s like, what was his name?
Peter Sellers. Miss, Monsieur Clouseau. A bit like that. Right? That’s in the good days of the French English.
So he said, okay, lama. I am obviously the best person for the job. I will become your English teacher. He said, I was convinced. I was the best person for the job.
So Lama said, come tomorrow morning, nine o’clock. First day was okay. Second day was okay. By the third day, he was starting to get some criticism. What?
You say that word like that? No. No. No. You don’t pronounce it like that.
But, Lama, I am your teacher. Lama’s saying no no no no you don’t say it like this, you say it like this. So he said by the end of the week he was criticizing me and criticizing me and saying you call yourself an English teacher? But Lama I never said I was an English teacher! But he said I was completely new and I didn’t know what he’d done to me that he’d convinced me into it my ego had gone big I’m the English teacher and now he’s got the pin and he’s poking the pin in the balloon, the ego balloon, and it’s going smaller, smaller.
So he said, after about a week, I was getting completely cut to pieces. You’re useless. You’re the worst English teacher I’ve ever had in my life. You call yourself a professional, an English teacher? But Lama,, I’ve never said you.
You know, like this. And so the final words were, and you think you’re really handsome, don’t you? But you’re not. You’re ugly. I am the handsomest in the world, and remember that.
And the French guy left. So he said, I went down to Kathmandu, probably had a few drinks to cope with the situation, went back to France, and he’s sitting there thinking, So what was all that about? You know? Here I was just like a hippie wanting some teachings, I go up the hill, I’m promoted, I become the Lama’s English teacher, I’m demoted and kicked out, Abused and told I’m ugly? What was it all about?
So he’s sitting there thinking, what was it all about? I think I need to do meditation to figure this out. So he went into a three year retreat in in the Kagyu retreat in France. By the end of the three years, he still didn’t understand, so he did another three years. He still didn’t understand, so he did another three years.
So he did nine years of solitary retreat, and then he understood what Lama had done to him. And then he came to Copan, and he said the last words that Lama said to me, you think you’re handsome, don’t you? But you’re not. You’re ugly. And he said as soon as I walked in the in the room, he looked at me and he said, you think you’re handsome, don’t you?
But you’re not. You’re ugly. Exactly the same words. So he said, this proves to me this is Lama Osel. True story, but really amazing.
And I saw this many, many times with Lama Osel that he’d always say exactly the same thing that Lama Yeshi would say. The first thing showing that this is me. Okay. You can go home, but not before you dedicate. You’ve done good work.
Time to relax. Thirty two. Are you tired of Śāntideva? That’s good. You can never get tired of Śāntideva.
May all beings everywhere plagued by sufferings of body and mind, obtain an ocean of happiness and joy by virtue of my merits. May no living creature suffer, commit evil, or ever fall ill. May no one be afraid or belittled with a mind weighed down by depression. May the blind see forms and the deaf hear sounds. May those whose bodies are worn with toil be restored on finding repose.
May the naked find clothing, the hungry find food. May the thirsty find water and delicious drinks. May the poor find wealth, those weak with sorrow find joy. May the forlorn find hope, constant happiness, and prosperity. May there be timely rains and bountiful harvests.
May all medicines be effective and wholesome prayers bear fruit. May all who are sick and ill quickly be freed from their ailments. Whatever diseases there are in the world, may they never occur again. May the frightened cease to be afraid and those bound be freed. May the powerless find power, and may people think of benefiting each other for as long as space remains, for as long as sentient beings remain, Until then, may I too remain to dispel the miseries of the world.
Cathy, do you want to read the list? We have a special list of people who have requested dedications. So it’s nice for us to read it and offer for people who are sick, suffering, dying, dead. What?