Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 68-minute session, Ven Jamyang introduces the first of a mind healing course grounded in karma and personal responsibility. Rather than abstract doctrine, he explores how karma shapes the relationships we find ourselves in—why we enter harmful partnerships, overlook red flags, and how to work with the deep hurt that results. He leads a substantial equanimity meditation, teaching that stable relationships are fragile and self-interest underlies attachment and aversion, then guides participants through the difficult realization that our experiences arise from our own actions, even when others have clearly harmed us. He distinguishes between accepting responsibility for our karma and excusing others’ abuse, offering tools for forgiveness without victimhood. Open to newcomers and those working through relationship trauma.
File metadata (for organising)
File: mind healing session 1.mp3
UUID: e489f8b8-7524-45fc-9806-bc96216364d3
Teacher: Ven Jamyang
Collection: Jamyang Mind Healing (Ven Jamyang)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 68.3 minutes
Words: ~6,331
And when you saw your visit was on Saturday, she said she might be late. Yeah. I rang her yesterday, and she’s actually not coming. She was Oh, okay. Yeah.
That’s fine. You met her in the city? Or Sorry? Did you hear from the TV line. Alright.
Yeah. I just know. Yeah. Are you going there too? Karma is hard to understand if you have experienced a lot of suffering.
You know? I think the hardest bit is to take responsibility. Yeah, for that part, isn’t it? If we don’t have problems to take responsibility for the positive part, isn’t it? All your good qualities are coming from your own effort.
We say, Oh, look at me! And all the negative experiences come from your own effort and we don’t want to hear that. That’s too hard. It is uncomfortable, you know. And I don’t know.
I’ve been struggling with that for many years. Every time you make a little step because logically it is like that but emotionally you don’t want to know about it. You just don’t want to hear it because the innocent child has done something in previous lives to experience the things that it is experiencing and it’s very difficult for us to understand that. Yeah. Isn’t it?
So in Christianity, is there a conviction that you’re not supposed to kill human beings, but you can kill animals? Is that part of because in Christianity, humans are superior. Right. To the animal world, so they really engage in that mind body. Yeah.
Yeah. I had this interesting discussion at work. I was late for work one day and there was no reason to be late for work. But this is a yes. She’s a Baptist.
So she could not understand at all. No. No. There was no excuse. Interesting.
Yeah. And then it’s gonna be hard to grasp different concepts, you know, to really see animals and insects as having the same potential, the same capacity as we have. Yeah. That can shift your whole ideas about life. And they’re very abstract ideas.
And so if you think in a concrete way, it’s really hard to But are actually ideas which have everything to do with Yeah. With reality? That’s right. So they’re not that abstract. No.
They’re actually very practical. And if you realise I don’t know. I had a lot of trouble believing that animals had the same kind of mind as us. One day we did animal liberation in Chenrezig which means that you create we talked about that that you create causes for a longer lifespan and we were doing that for the Dalai Lama. So we bought all these crabs and while we were doing the prayers first you have to try to change the karma of these animals because these animals are about to die and you save them from death like that.
So they have the karma to die. So you can release them but if they really have the karma to die they’re going to die anyway. So with prayers you try to shift that karma. And come in. Don’t know what’s going on there.
And while we were doing the prayers, I saw this crab and it was so angry and I thought, that is how the angry mind looks like. If I die with an angry mind, I can end up with a body like that. And that was so clear. That was such a shock like, Oh my God, it actually can happen like that. It looked so human or so, I don’t know, equal or I recognized my own, you know, an old part of my mind or I don’t know what I saw but it was like, wow, this can really happen to me.
And from that, I really know, you know, it’s not an abstract thing. It’s really something that can happen. And if you know that, you can use that, you know, in order to make sure that you’re not going there. Anyway, you got all your homework. First of all, this is Carol.
Carol is gonna do the last four weeks. Is that right? Yeah. And Carol is from Canada and traveling all over the world doing her spiritual practice. Traveling here.
Traveling here to Australia. Traveling to Australia. Alright. Alright. I made it too big.
She’s traveling in Australia. Thank you for letting me be here for a while. So do you wanna tell why you’re here? What’s I’ve just been introduced to Buddhism while I’ve been on this trip here in Australia, and this has nothing to do with Buddhism. I just wanted to see what my head looked like.
And so I was able to attend Robina’s workshop two weekends ago and then came last week to speak with Jamyang about Buddhism, and then she mentioned that this course was going on. So it’s just a way for me to expand my understanding of Buddhism that I’m just starting to get into. Yeah. But it also has to do with part of a healing process that you I’m here in Australia because I’m doing a sun gazing healing practice. So I’m working up to looking at the sun for forty-four minutes for health and spiritual reasons.
So there’s been a lot of interesting insights for me, and then this has just come along. Buddhism has come along. So everything’s fitting together very nicely for me. Last week, you had the homework to look into habitual tendencies that you have and looking into experiences that happen to you again and again in your life to understand something about the karma that is specific for you. Did you have a chance to do that?
It’s been hard. Hard? Why? To find things. I’m sure there must be things there.
Things, bad things? Are you looking for bad things or are you looking for good? Bad things. Oh, you didn’t look for the good things? Oh, okay.
Is that karma too? Yes. You know? Maybe you’re a person who has very stable relationships, meets many friends, has good family relationships, you know, maybe that’s your karma. You know, that’s a result of virtuous actions in the past.
Please claim them. Anybody else want me to ask? Yeah. Well, I’ve been to it. I’ve been thinking about that.
Uh-huh. Yeah. About relationships and, yeah, our family and those things. Did you go through the list that I gave you? Like, the result of killing is this and this and this and this?
Did you you didn’t? No. I forgot. Oh. You have the list, don’t you?
Mhmm. Do you worry about that? No. You have to let go, isn’t it, what you think you are? It’s a very good practice. Thank you.
Because we believe I am this person. But we are actually not that. We are not that. We are not that concrete person that sits there. That’s just the result of some karma that has ripened which shows part of us but we are not that.
Isn’t it in a way good karma when you start looking through the bad stuff? Yes. Well if you meet the teachings we see that as good karma. And if you get tools to practice it and you sometimes try to practice it, every moment you practice it is good karma. You create the causes to get out of that whole cycle of suffering.
So that’s good karma, even if you can only make one step. It’s hard work. It’s hard work. Karma. So did you have a look at the meditation I gave you?
Did you try? Did you? Was it good? Yeah. Maybe we’ll try it here now.
Okay. So with karma we have the sense of I and we have not looked in depth into the sense of I but we will do that in two weeks’ time. But we all know that we have that feeling of I and somehow we know that feeling of I is not real. It’s not really there in the way we experience it. True?
That I appears. I am Helena and I am this and this and this. That feeling that can arise, that is not real. That’s like a hallucination, they say. But on the basis of that feeling, because we have feelings, we have I like this and I don’t like this.
And when we like something, when some pleasant feelings arise on the basis of that I, we grasp for more pleasant feelings. If unpleasant feelings arise on the basis of that I, we get aversion. That grasping for more pleasure is the base for attachment, is the base for desire, is the base for when we get what we want we think that that is happiness. Because we think that that is happiness that grasping gets aggravated again and again. Because when we grasp we get what we want.
And when we get what we want we are happy. And that’s what we’re constantly trying to do. So from one side on the basis of that I we develop a grasping mind. And that can go from very subtle grasping to addictions. All the addictions have to do with that grasping mind.
Wanting something because you think if you have it you’re going to be happy. Knowing it’s a temporary happiness but still grasping for more and more. If we perceive unpleasant feelings then we develop aversion. And it can start with a normal aversion of I don’t like this to if you get more of that to I really don’t want this getting angry to developing hatred to developing resentment. So based on that I which is not real we develop two kinds of mind.
One is based on attachment or I like this and one is based on aversion or I don’t like this. So, when we meet people on our way or in our life, we have immediately a sense of I like you or I don’t like you. Isn’t it? That sense is straight away there. In Buddhism we say that feeling is based on previous karma that you shared.
If you meet somebody that you feel I like you, that person has benefited you in the past. If you meet somebody that you immediately feel like Oh no, I don’t like you, that person has harmed you in the past. Or you have experienced no benefit from that person. On the basis of that feeling, we develop relationships on the basis of how much can you benefit me? If I experience benefit from somebody, I’ll like that person.
If I experience harm from that person, I don’t like this person. And on that basis we can create more attachment and more aversion or anger and hatred. So what we’re having is a biased mind. A mind that says yes or no to things. Every moment that we say yes to something on the basis of attachment and every moment that we say no to something on the basis of aversion we create karma.
Karma means action. So every moment that we have this response in our mind we are creating karma. If our actions are based on our very short-term wanting to have happiness and wanting to avoid suffering, what we are doing is that we create for the future causes for suffering for ourselves. This is a jump. Can you follow that jump?
If we want to stop the suffering for ourselves, then what we first have to do is to stop that habit that we have of this preference for people who benefit us and that complete aversion in wanting to avoid people that we experience are harming us. If we can somehow control that reaction, we can control our karma. True? If somebody really harms us and we respond with beating that person up because we want to get rid of that person, what we do is we create causes to experience the same kind of thing in our future life. We’re going to be beaten up again because we beat up that person.
So, in order to create happiness for ourselves in the future, what we have to do is try to abstain from following that tendency that we have. So first of all, try to abstain and then secondly, you try to completely transform that into something else, inviting somebody who wants to harm you and saying, Oh, hi, welcome. Come in. One of my teachers once said, I was in Nepal and I had a thief coming into my room in the night. My boyfriend was in the toilet and then the door went open and this big tall man was there in my room and I tried to scream and there was like no sound coming out of my voice, out of my throat.
And it was so scary. So my teacher there, he is famous because before he turned to the Dharma many lifetimes ago, he was a thief. He was a robber. So I went there with my story. Oh, somebody came over.
And he tried to steal something and he said, You should invite this person. Invite that person and ask him, Is there something here that belongs to you? Please take it. He said, Because maybe in your previous life you had stolen from that person and that person is just coming to take it back. I thought, oh, no way.
Now I start to see what he meant. That’s where we try to head to. You know? But it’s hard to get that because we have to overcome our fear. We have to overcome our aversion.
We have to overcome many, many thought processes that we have and that we think are normal and that are actually causing us to experience suffering in the future. So what we do in regard to this is that we’re saying, Okay, there are people who benefit us. There are people who harm us in this life. Relationship is only based on if somebody benefits me or not. If that person suddenly would, you know, a person who harms me suddenly would start benefiting me, I would maybe think, Oh, that person is actually really kind.
My attitude would change towards that person. I might actually think that person is my friend instead of my enemy. Hello? Come in. That’s okay.
Sometimes the taxi comes on time, sometimes it doesn’t. But you’re here. This is Carol. This is Mary. Do you know them all?
Here. We’re talking about equanimity meditation that I handed out last week and we’re going to try to do that now. Just trying to explain the theory behind it. It’s like why it would be beneficial to do that meditation. So if we can see that a person that we now see as a friend, we only see that person as a friend because it’s benefiting us and that that relationship can change, that person can turn into somebody who we experience as harming us.
In the same way our enemy who is harming us today can change tomorrow into our friend. If we can see that, then our tendency of having that strong attachment to our friends and that strong aversion to our enemies we can see that that is maybe not that valid as we believe it is. And especially if you look in the long term, it’s not that valid. If you think about that we have more than one lifetime or if you think about this is a period in my life but in ten years’ time I will have a completely different lifetime. If you can see the big picture then that reaction is really not valid.
And the more you can see that and feel that and experience that, the more if somebody actually harms you, you can abstain from your reaction of harming back. Even if you like somebody, it doesn’t mean that you should not like somebody but your strong attachment on the basis of that and all the beliefs that come with that, you might be more realistic about that knowing that that can change, the relationship can change any moment. This meditation, I don’t know, it might take twenty minutes, twenty-five minutes. Is that okay? Only if we have equanimity we can develop pure love in our heart and pure compassion in our heart.
As long as we don’t have this equanimity, all the love that we experience is very much mixed with attachment. We can only love the people that we like. We cannot love the people that we don’t like. So before you can develop love, you have to develop equanimity. So if you find it difficult to love somebody or whatever, go back to this meditation because this is like the precondition for the teachings on love and compassion that we did in the past already.
Sit comfortably. You okay? You’re rushing. Your mind is rushing. Yes.
Let your mind settle down. You’re here. You’re here. It’s funny, isn’t it? You can’t you can’t rush, actually.
You can’t just wait till people arrive but your mind is still doing that. A hundred miles an hour. A hundred miles an hour. Well, it’s good if we still have something to practice. If we have everything developed, what can we do? Why aren’t you the only one?
So feel that you sit comfortably. Make sure that your back is straight. And give yourself a few minutes to settle your mind. You can do that by being aware of your body. Being aware of the body that is sitting.
Where you can observe the movements of your stomach, the rising and falling of your abdomen every time when you breathe in and breathe out. Let go of all the worries that are happening at the moment in your life. While you are here, you can’t solve your problems. You can just let go of them. And maybe create some space in your mind so that later solutions come more easily up in your mind.
Try to empty your mind. And then visualize in front of you three people. Visualize in front of you someone that you like, someone that you dislike, and someone that you feel neutral about. And during this meditation, we will label somebody that you like as your friend, somebody that you dislike or who has harmed you as your enemy. And the person that you feel neutral about, we will label that as just a stranger.
So this friend, this enemy, this stranger will stay there in front of you during the whole meditation. Then first of all, focus on your friend. Allow your feelings for him or her to arise in your mind. Reflect on the goodness of that person. How he or she satisfies your needs.
How he or she is always there for you, helping you, being kind to you. Understanding you for what you are, and observe your feelings that arise when you think about that person. And feel your conviction that this person is definitely your friend. You really want this person to be happy and to be free of suffering. Your love and compassion naturally arises when you think of this person.
Immerse yourself in your good feelings. It is wonderful to have friends like that. Then turn to the person who is your so-called enemy. The person that you don’t like or the person that has harmed you. And then contemplate that this person is not kind to you.
This person is not helping you. This person annoys you, makes you angry. Or there’s somebody who hurts you. Look carefully at your feelings that arise. Look at your conviction that this person is definitely a bad person.
And look how easy it is to wish this person harm, to wish this person not to be happy and to suffer. It arises naturally in our mind. And don’t judge yourself for having these feelings. Just observe them. We all have them.
And turn to the person that you have neutral feelings about, the so-called stranger. And observe that in your mind, neither the feeling of “I like you” nor the feeling of “I don’t like you” arises. Observe your feelings of being indifferent. And then think about that the basis for the relationship that you have with these people is solely based on whether or not they’re benefiting you, whether or not they are harming or hurting you. Your relationship is based on what you need.
And if they can give you what you need, or give you the opposite. Your relationship with them is self-centered. Your relationship with them is self-centered based on what arises for I. So we all know that relationships can change. And as long as our friend is our friend, we believe that that person always is going to be our friend.
And as long as our enemy is our enemy, we believe that that also will never change. But if we look in general at relationships, we know that relationships can change. So we put it now into practice. We turn to your friend. And then imagine that something happens between you and that friend that damages the relationship and maybe even causes that relationship to end.
Maybe your friend turns against you. He’s talking about you behind your back, telling lies. Feel the hurt and feel the resentment and how easily your warm feelings are gone. Feel that now you no longer wish her or him well. And maybe you even wish him or her to suffer.
Realize that that friend has suddenly disappeared. Then turn to that person that you don’t like who has harmed you, your so-called enemy. And then imagine a situation that you are drawn together. Maybe a common interest. Maybe that person starts to praise you in public.
Maybe that person becomes kind to you. Maybe that person saves your life. Look carefully at your feelings for this person, how they change. When you imagine the situation where you become friends. Are you softening?
Softening? Do you feel warm feelings? And then look at the stranger. Imagine how one act of kindness or anger from this person could immediately turn him or her into a friend or an enemy. And then focus on all three of them.
Think about how impermanent your relationship is, and how fragile it is. Somehow we have the feeling that relationships are very stable. But if we really check, that’s a misconception. So what we have done so far is we have checked relationships. And we’ve seen that these feelings are very self-centered.
And that our relationships are maybe not that stable as we think they are. So, our next step is that we practice the equanimity. Equanimity, in order to practice equanimity, we have to let go of our self-centered mind. We have to let go of our own benefit in the relationship, or our own harm in the relationship. We have to make that less important than it is right now.
So again, visualize in front of you your friend, enemy and stranger. And then see how they all, just as you, are constantly looking for happiness and trying to avoid suffering. In this respect, everybody is equal. And also, everybody’s equal in having the potential to develop their minds to their fullest, to their full extent and to achieve perfect wisdom and perfect compassion. So on a practical level, that means that our attitude from “are these people benefiting me or not” changes into “can I be of benefit to these people?”
If we can recognize their potential to develop their mind completely and if we can recognize their need for happiness, they’re constantly searching for happiness and trying to avoid suffering. We can say, I will help that person to find that happiness. I will help that person to be free of suffering. Then our relationship transforms from benefiting ourselves into benefiting others.
So at the practical level, that does not mean that we cannot have friends or that we can just let anybody who wishes to harm us, that we let them harm us. But what we’re trying to see is where they are coming from. We’re trying not to get caught up in our own reactions of attachment and aversion, but we’re trying to look at their needs. Of course, if somebody is harming us, we have to take care of ourselves. And of course, if somebody is benefiting us, we can enjoy that fully.
But in our mind, we can develop an equanimity for both of them by putting their benefit in our minds. And then at the end of this meditation, we can dedicate all the positive energy that we collected by trying to generate this feeling of equanimity. We can dedicate that energy to the happiness and the well-being of all sentient beings. Then you can relax your mind. So the Dalai Lama, when he encounters people that he doesn’t know, he sees old friends.
He only sees friends. He never sees, oh, this person’s gonna harm me. He says, oh, there’s my old friend. How have you been doing? You know, how are you?
Can I help you? What can I do for you? Always, what can I do for you? If we go in a relationship, we think, what can they do for me? Isn’t it?
It’s like we try to pull to satisfy our own needs. True? Not true, Helena? Bring it in the group. Is that what you are doing yourself, the tendency that you have?
That when you have a new relationship, it’s all fresh and beautiful and inspiring? I’m just trying to see if I understand you clearly. I’m still convinced that you can be in a relationship that harms you very, very much. And Why would that be? Why do we engage in relationships that are harmful?
I have no idea. I really I’m thinking I can come with Why do we engage in harmful relationships? Do you think we can change it? Is it the relationship or the person? Yeah.
The person. Right? The person. We don’t love ourselves enough. Could that be an item?
We have to believe that we can change that person, which is a very strange kind of love that we feel. I mean, the love comes first and then the problem becomes clear. Later. There is this attraction in the beginning that makes us completely blind. That attraction is based on attachment.
That attraction is based on karma. Probably we have had a relationship with that person before and due to that we are attracted to that. Just as we are attracted to our life, you know. When we are in the bardo state or in the intermediate state we are attracted to our life. We just get, as Robina said, on an automatic pilot we are drawn to that.
Same with relationships. It just happens, isn’t it? When we fall in love, our attachment is very much triggered and when our attachment is triggered we only see the good qualities of this person. And not only do we only see the good qualities, we exaggerate the good qualities. We don’t see anything of the bad qualities.
We have these rose-colored glasses on. That’s attachment. Then later on in the relationship the attachment starts to diminish a little bit and then if there is not real love, the relationship is not going to make it, isn’t it? I think the attachment is in the beginning mixed with love but we see all these wonderful things. Then when the attachment starts to fade, these negative qualities of that other person start to surface.
Then if there’s real love also in that relationship, we can live with these negative qualities. We don’t mind them so much. But if there is not enough love, we start suddenly to see that this person is really not what we thought it was. Okay, so such as but I can’t. So did that happen when you had a relationship with him?
Pardon? Did that abuse happen when you had a relationship with him? So if we look at the list, I’m just going to this practical list of what happens to me and why is that. I would think that was part of “I have a contemptuous partner.” True?
He’s not faithful to you, is he? He was not faithful to you. He was not faithful to being a father.
Either. No. But a relationship to you, he was not faithful to you. Somehow, I never seen him like that. That was the hurt of the So what did he betray?
You said, I feel betrayed. That he was not the father that you thought he was? Yeah. Where does that trust. Sorry?
It goes deeper than that because there’s also responsibility in being there and that So what is your pain? You know, I’m trying to understand your pain. Is it that you had a partner who did not take up their responsibility? Or is it that because you had that partner, you could not really play the good role of the other parent with him? Or is your pain what is your pain?
Betrayal of? Where did he betray you? Trust. Trust. And he pretends that it didn’t happen all the time.
You know? And the encouragement of me to So if I’m going to talk about karma in relationship to this then this is something that has happened in your environment. Right? So that’s an environmental karma, as we call that. And it’s also so that’s like having had abuse around you that you could not address but later on you realized that’s an environmental karma.
Right? It’s like being in the war, seeing the war happening around you but not really being part of it. Right? That’s a karma that you experience in your environment. Secondary is a karma that you experience directly in relationship to yourself which is that you have a partner that betrayed you, that you didn’t trust.
There are two negative karmas ripening. One is in your environment, one is in relationship to yourself. According to Buddhism, there are causes for having to experience this karma. And this sounds harsh when you have gone through this. Right?
One thing that I, at a certain point, started doing is if I see something that I don’t like and maybe my whole mind goes like Oh my God, I can’t believe this, I say I must have done the same. I must have done the same otherwise I could not have experienced this. Right? Then I start to look at my own mind and think, So where are these parts of my mind that have the capacity to do the same? Where are the parts of my mind that could betray somebody like that?
Where are the parts of my mind that could abuse a child? We must have it. We must have done it. Otherwise, we cannot experience it. The moment I can find even if it is a slight tendency or even just a thought in my mind that goes into that direction, that’s when I say: There it is.
I do have the thought. I do have the tendency. And then I purify that. What if you can’t find it? Okay, you can say that I This is very, very difficult, you know, to take responsibility for that in that way.
It’s very, very difficult. But if you can do it and you can take it on, it gives you a tool to work through it and it gives you a tool to let it go. Because if you can see that you must have done the same, why would you stay so angry at that person? Why would you have such a how would you call it? Hurt.
Why do you allow that to happen? If you have the same tendencies, somewhere deep in your mind, you would see that, there is no reason to hold to that feeling that you have now. There’s nothing harder than to own our negativities, isn’t it? So do you experience can I ask you, probably, you don’t experience karma of stealing? Stealing?
No. People don’t steal from you, things don’t disappear. No. So you can easily say, Oh, I wouldn’t mind being a thief. If you would experience the karma of stealing and things would disappear and people whenever you leave something people take it away and throw it away you would feel very angry about that because, you know, but if you don’t experience it, it’s like, Oh, I wouldn’t mind experiencing it.
But karma means that we suffer from something. Right? We have done something that causes us now to suffer. And what we suffer, we don’t want to own that because we want to get rid of it. We don’t want to feel it.
We don’t want to have it. So we say, No, no, no. That’s not mine. That’s not mine in our attempt to get rid of it. But then to say, Yes, it is mine.
I open the door and I invite it in and say, Yes, it is mine. That is almost against our own instinct. Our whole instinct says, no way I’ve not done that. I would never ever do that. Yes.
It’s hard. It’s not easy. You know? No. Sure.
It’s damn difficult, and I agree with that. So every appearance that we have, according to Buddhism, is due to our own karma. So even your husband or your ex-husband appearing in front of you, not being able to bear that, that view is due to your own karma. That sounds harsh maybe but if you could see in that at the same time there is a tool to transform that experience. If you would be completely the victim and that person would arise like that or appear like that and you couldn’t do anything about it, then you’re really a victim.
Isn’t it? But Buddhism says because it is your own creation somehow you can do something about it. You can change that feeling. Right? Which does not make it right what these guys have done.
In no way. Right? Because Buddhism is based on not harming others. So whatever they have done that harmed you and that harmed your daughters, that’s wrong. That’s not how it should be, supposed to be, you know, it’s not okay to be.
It’s not okay what they have done. Right? Let’s be very clear about that. It’s not okay to do something like that. At the same time, having that experience and being so powerless and feeling that deep, deep hurt, that is your experience.
And experience can only arise when we have the seeds in our own mind for that experience. Without that it cannot arise. It simply cannot arise. So there are many ways to look at that so that you cannot go into that mood of resentment. We have that tendency if something hurts us so deep, it’s like to protect ourselves we create that wall around it which is a wall of resentment and maybe hate because we don’t want to feel that hurt.
That wall is actually harming ourselves. What we’re trying with Buddhism is to find the tools that we can let go of that wall. Eventually, you come to a kind of forgiveness, to the place in your mind where you completely let go and have peace with whatever you have experienced in life. And that’s what we want, isn’t it? You’re longing for that place to go there.
That’s where we wanna go. But if we hold on to that, how could he do that? You will never be able to go there. First, you have to acknowledge he did do that. No matter how hard I scream, how could you?
He did do that. And we cannot change that. So you have to accept that that happened. You have to accept that you married somebody that you could not trust which is also, you know, might bring doubt in the trust towards yourself. Like, how could I choose for a guy like that?
Yeah. Maybe you have to think your choice in life is so uncontrolled. You know? We have this feeling of control in our life but actually, if you really look at what we choose for and later realize it’s like we have no control. Our choices are based on karma.
You know, we are attracted to this person so strongly. You can’t think in the first half year of your relationship. You can’t think normally, can you? Even if everybody warns you, that’s a bad person. You just don’t believe it.
That’s karma. We are completely blind. That’s karma. That’s how karma evolves or manifests. If we would be in control we would not experience any of this kind of karma.
Why would we? But it’s because we are not in control. And it’s very difficult to acknowledge I’m not in control. Things just happen to me. The only thing that I can try to learn to do is find an attitude that is not harming me.
Find an attitude where I can still feel dignity, sincerity, honesty, you know, pride in what I’m doing. Finding that space. That’s the only thing what we can try to do. But we’re not in control of what happens. True Helena?
Is that true? Does that help? Okay. Let’s have a tea break. After the break we’re going to talk about how to purify karma.
Right, so we talk about how you can do the purification. Yes, after the break.