Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. A boy pounding himself over the head with a hammer because “it feels so good when I stop” — Ven Jampa Gendun uses this image in this 35-minute session to expose the confusion at the heart of cyclic existence: most of what we call pleasure is merely the relief of prior pain. Part of his Three Principal Aspects of the Path series, the talk focuses on dissatisfactoriness, the first mark of existence, outlining its three types and pressing the argument that our conceptions of pleasure and pain are inseparably bound — you cannot know one without the other. The cycle of falling in love, growing indifferent, and separating again illustrates the trap concretely. The session closes with a guided loving-kindness meditation, moving outward from self to friend, stranger, enemy, and all beings.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 16 1988 03 25 3PA.mp3
UUID: 9e7e811d-5946-4a3b-a99a-602947407baf
Teacher: Ven Jampa Gendun
Collection: Three Principal Aspects of the Path 1988-1990 (Ven Jampa Gendun)
Date: 1988-03-25
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 35.6 minutes
Words: ~3,005
Confront ourselves and confront our suffering. You know, to understand suffering is to understand ourselves in the sense of understanding our ego, to a large degree that’s who we are at present, our ego is. And to understand our ego, to understand ourselves, to understand our suffering, and to find happiness. So we’re talking about happiness and suffering, the necessity to look at suffering and confront the fact of suffering. Man does not have to reach out, need not make effort towards happiness because his fundamental nature is just that, it is happiness itself.
Were it otherwise and a man had to struggle for its attainment, it would not be true happiness because whatever is attained can be lost again. Such a contrived happiness would be conditional upon circumstances and thus ever be a fragile and relative thing in which the individual would not be truly free but always tied to those circumstances. There is happiness which is not fragile and does not limit the individual because it is absolute and unconditional. It arises as soon as the conflict in the mind is resolved. Nothing else is required.
The conflict in the mind really obscures the state of bliss, which is perfect silence and ever there deep within ourselves. Unfortunately, we do not heed it, are not even aware of its existence due to the noisy mind which is never entirely still. So there is only one thing to do and that is to consider with a view to its understanding suffering. Happiness is a byproduct of something else, the elimination of suffering, which comes only through self knowing. That is why it has to be has been said that the highest path to knowledge is this via negativia, and why this deepest thinkers throughout time have never admonished be happy, but instead know thyself.
Never work diligently towards happiness, but instead work diligently towards your own deliverance, that is from suffering. Ever emphasizing the negative aspect of removing the obstacle to finding oneself. Happiness is not an attribute of one’s individuality. It is oneself. Therefore, one does not have to go beyond oneself.
One does not need anything external. It is enough simply to find oneself. To understand oneself is to find happiness, to remove suffering. nirvana, many of you heard about nirvana. nirvana simply means beyond sorrow.
nirvana is the cessation of suffering. First we have to recognize suffering as suffering. Now that might seem simple minded to say that we have to recognize suffering as suffering. But as I said in the beginning, most of what we can see of as pleasure is in fact suffering. As long as we have this misconception, we keep making these same basic errors, we’re never going to find real happiness.
We’re simply going to be constantly banging our head against the wall, seeking for a type of happiness which is in fact suffering. Constantly discontent, dissatisfied, never fulfilled. So we have to begin to understand the nature of suffering and its extent within our lives. Then we’re going to be motivated to discover its causes and to see if there is a way to remove these causes. Finally, what is the way?
What are the means? What are the methods whereby we can remove the causes of suffering? That’s all we have to do. Happiness is already there. We simply have to remove the obstructions.
So the first of the three marks of existence, dissatisfactoriness. This has three types. Dissatisfactoriness of pain, dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction of change, and the pervasive compositional dissatisfactoriness. So the first dissatisfactoriness of pain It’s the actual feelings of pain, your actual feelings. Physical feelings, mental feelings.
Physical feelings of sickness, aging, cold, hunger, bodily discomfort, and then there are the mental pain, mental feelings of pain, depression, loneliness, frustration, fear. So in general, not getting that which we desire, meeting with those things which we do not desire to meet with, and being separated from those things we desire to hold onto. These are the various types of mental and physical pain which we experience every day of our lives. So now we have to begin to look deeper into the nature of these sufferings. We have to begin to understand the nature of pleasure as opposed to pain.
How pleasure and pain are inextricably bound up with each other as if two sides of the same coin. We have to begin to understand that our very conception of what pleasure is is based upon what our conception of pain is. Likewise, is dependent upon what we can see of it as pleasure. So we have all these various memories, tendencies, dispositions, patterns, the various focuses of our attention, all determine what we conceive of as pain, what we conceive of as pleasure. Our conception of pain, our conception of pleasure is not pleasure or pain.
Just as our conception of this house is not this house. But we keep striving for our conception of pleasure. We keep trying to move away from our conception of pain. But our conception of pleasure is not pleasure. Our conception of pain is not pain.
We are running from and running toward what we think is pleasure, what we think is pain. This is, I think, much important beginning to understand the nature of pleasure and pain. You know, if if an idiot is you know, an idiot boy is sitting in the corner. He’s sitting there pounding his his himself over the head with a hammer. You know, you walk up, you walk you look at him.
And he said, you know, what are you doing? And he looks up. So why, you know, why are you hitting yourself over the head with a hammer? And he said, because it feels so good when I stop. So his conception of what pleasure is is completely bound up with his conception of pain.
But is that pleasure actually pleasure, or is it merely the cessation of a gross suffering? You know? It it feels a hell of lot better when he stops hitting himself over the head. But is that very state which is calling, which is conceiving as pleasure, is that really pleasure? Would if if you were just hit initially with that same that would that same state be considered pleasure if you were just had been in a happier state and then you experience that state that it’s experiencing now?
You know, we can’t take for granted what we conceive of as pleasure as really being pleasure, but we do. Therefore, we constantly are striving after our conception of pleasure, not really trying to find out what is real happiness and what is real pleasure. We keep making these same mistakes again and again. So a lot of our happiness, pleasure is simply the cessation of prior deprivation, that is to say a lessening of gross suffering. We can see that drinking a cold glass of water as being, you know, when you’re very thirsty, you’re suffering.
You drink a glass of water, it’s very pleasurable. That pleasure is the cessation of a prior deprivation, a cessation of thirst, but is it really pleasure? So this is the I’m going to have to stop. This is the dissatisfactory quality of what we call contaminated pleasure. All the pleasures that we experience are always bound up with pain.
It’s the other side of the coin. We can’t if we take the coin, we have to take both sides together. We can’t just take one side. That every that our pleasure is dependent upon our conception of pleasure, and our conception of pleasure is dependent upon our conception of pain. Without having some relative reference point, some standard by which we can discriminate, we have no way of judging the experience.
It would be unconditioned. We wouldn’t know whether it’s pleasure or pain. We wouldn’t know what to think of it. Therefore, our ordinary existence, within our ordinary pleasures, we can never go beyond the dissatisfaction which is bound up in our various pleasures because we’re always going to have to relate them to pain. Therefore, we’re always going to have to have experiences of pain in order to know pleasure.
This is the nature of our conditioned existence. Conditioned existence conditioned by ignorance. So this is the dissatisfactory quality. We’re talking about dissatisfactory, a mark of ordinary existence. It is marked with this that our pleasures are marked with this dissatisfactory quality in that they necessarily have to be associated with pain.
It is the nature of the situation that we’re in. And I’ll stop there. Is that point fairly clear? Yeah. It’s just the way our mind is operating.
The way conception is operating, our conception of pleasure and pain. It has this dissatisfactory quality about it. We can never manipulate the world, people, objects about it in such a way that we will constantly experience pleasure. It’s not possible. One of these reasons is that our very conception of what it will take, our preconception of this configuration of how we’re going to have to manipulate reality is dependent upon our conception of pain.
If we ever lose our conception of pain, how are we going to know that we’re happy, That we’re experiencing happiness. What happens when this idiot boy who is just hitting himself over the head with a hammer, he loses that he loses that memory of that past pain of hitting himself over the head with a hammer. That pain is going that present pleasurable state is he’s going to become indifferent to. He’s going to have nothing to compare it to any longer, and he’s going to have to start hitting himself over the head with a hammer again in order to seek the pleasure that he remembers that he had once. He’s going to have to go through the pain all again over again to gain that same pleasure that he experienced.
So we keep going through the same patterns, unconsciously in order to gain regain the same pleasures that we experienced before. But then we think we have to realize that these gaining these same same pleasures necessitate going through the same pain. It’s very pleasurable. The first moments of falling in love are extremely blissful, aren’t they? But they’re very much dependent upon the pain of separation.
And some people, they’re quite willing to go through this process. But it’s a very dissatisfactory situation, isn’t it? Having to depend upon the pain of going through separation in order to achieve the bliss of you and you again, and again, and again. And then you become indifferent, and you seek, and you you again go through the pain of separation. You go through the pleasure of union.
Again, you forget what the pain was like. You become indifferent. The pleasure is not quite as blissful as it was before. And again, you become indifferent. And again, you go through separation.
It’s a never ending cycle. This is cyclic existence. This is what we’ve been stuck in, what we’re stuck in now. So we’ll meditate on loving kindness. Part of getting in touch with this dissatisfactory quality of our our life, admitting it and confronting it, is allowing it to arise, accepting it, not indulging it nor repressing it, suppressing it.
This is what very much our breathing process can allow us to do, to become aware of levels of subconscious images, concepts which we normally don’t get in touch with, which normally that we repress, that we don’t want to see. Likewise, gaining, fostering kindness for yourself, towards yourself, much involves accepting ourselves. Both our bad and good qualities, in the context of understanding that we can change, that we can begin again. But we have to get in contact with our negative aspects of ourselves if we’re ever able if we’re ever going to, number one, develop the motivation to transform these negative aspects, and number two, know what is what we’re really to be worked on, knowing what our imperfections are. If we’re always ignoring, cultivating an unawareness, running away from our various imperfections, the bad side of ourselves, we don’t know what our imperfections are.
We don’t know what needs to be worked on, and we don’t accept ourselves. We will never quite be friendly with ourselves. It’s always like someone says, I’ll love you if you do what I like. It’s a conditioned effort, you know. Like the mother, an unskillful mother, who said, If you don’t do what I like, I won’t love you.
And so of course the child grows up repressing a very important part of herself, a very important side of herself. We have to accept all of ourselves, even, you know, all the nasty parts of ourself. But in the context of understanding that we can change that once we become aware of it, once we confront it, And this is part of what we’re involved in, in simply developing loving kindness, friendliness toward ourselves. Quit torturing ourselves, trying to make ourselves to be someone that we aren’t. So we begin with acknowledging, getting in touch with our our disappointments, frustrations, our problems, and acknowledging the fact that we want to be happy.
Whatever we’ve done in the past, whatever mistakes we’ve made, we can simply regret them and determine not to repeat them again in the future. We can begin again. Whatever identity we may hold, however we may conceive of ourselves, we can change. We can be whatever we want to be. We can begin again.
And for the present, we have to accept ourselves, become friends with ourselves, quit torturing ourselves, be gentle with ourselves, and wish all of ourselves well, wish ourselves happiness. May I be happy. May I grow. May I be well. Now think of someone that you like, that you love.
Imagine that person in front of you. This person is of the same sex. And remember all the occasions that this person brought you happiness. And let this natural happiness begin to arise. Radiate out the positive feelings which naturally arise toward this person.
Direct good feelings toward them. May you be happy. May you find everything that you’re looking for, and may all good things come to you. May you be well. Now think of someone you neither like nor dislike, a stranger.
We have to try to go beneath the superficial appearances that we usually hold to. Appearances of sex or age, color, beauty, economic status, personality, intelligence. Try to go deep down into that person. As someone there wants happiness and doesn’t want to suffer exactly like yourself, there’s no difference. And just as we wish our own self happiness, we have to begin to wish this person deep down happiness because how we feel about that person deep down is very much a reflection about how we feel about ourselves deep down.
So simply radiate out positive feelings towards the person. Now think of someone who disturbs your mind, that you have problems with, an enemy. Imagine this person in front of you. Just feel that they’re there. This person wants happiness and doesn’t want to suffer exactly like yourself.
Perhaps this person’s method of finding happiness and eliminating their suffering has come in conflict with your methods of finding happiness for yourself, eliminating your suffering. But it’s just a conflict of interest, yours and theirs. You’ve hurt others either intentionally or unintentionally in the past in order to find the happiness that you were looking for. Now this person has done the same to you. If you’re ever to forgive yourself, you have to begin to forgive this person for being just like you.
So just for the moment, aside your grudge, your hurt, your anger, and try to see someone just like yourself, lost, alone, trying the best they can to find some happiness in this thing called life and wish them happiness. Now imagine all four together, yourself and these three other people, all equally want happiness, all equally don’t want to suffer exactly the same deep down. Radiate out positive feelings without any bias, without any prejudice, trying to see the essence as being equal of all four of these people. And all the people in this room, all the people who are taking responsibility for their lives, for their happiness, investigating, trying to find some real method to find the happiness they’re looking for. All the people just like ourselves coming together.
Wish everyone in the room happiness. Radiate our positive feelings to everyone in the room. And everyone on the block, eating, cooking, being ready for bed, sleeping, whatever they’re doing, whatever they’re saying, they’re doing it and saying it in order to find happiness. Begin to radiate out, extend out your heart through everyone on the block. And extending out further to all of Adelaide, all the people in their cars and buses and shops, offices, in their homes.
And further, to all of South Australia, all the people, animals, and insects. Further extending out further, Perth and Darwin, Brisbane, Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne, Hobart, the entire country. And further, New Zealand, north. It’s radiating out. Wishes and happiness.
All the southern hemisphere. And further enveloping the whole world in your heart, in your wish, in your caring, all the people, black, white, red, yellow, all the animals, all the insects, everything that lives, touched by your caring. And further, extending out further. Radiating out to finally without any boundaries, without any center, pervading all of space. I wish, may all things be happy.
May all things be happy. Now, the positive energy that we’ve created. Through these merits, may I soon attain the enlightened state of Guru Buddha, and may I lead every migrating being without exception to that state. May the precious, bodhi mind not yet born arise and grow. May that born have no decline, but increase forevermore.
Thank you. Good night.