Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. A Śāntideva verse anchors Ven Jampa Gendun’s 39-minute exploration of bodhicitta: you cannot sincerely wish liberation for others if you have never wished it for yourself. He identifies two errors that block genuine compassion — the philosophical error of self-grasping and the more overlooked practical mistake of believing self-cherishing actually delivers happiness — then turns to the interdependence of self and other, using parenthood as a natural school of selflessness. A letter from a Tibetan friend introduces the image of sentient beings as “wish-fulfilling gems”: their demands on us force growth that ego-comfort never would. The session closes with a guided loving-kindness meditation that expands from oneself through friends, strangers, and enemies, then radiates outward to all of Adelaide, Australia, and infinite space.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 08 3 PA 1998 04 29.mp3
UUID: 3e78568d-0a8c-4104-9eb2-c7d912b57e3e
Teacher: Ven Jampa Gendun
Collection: Three Principal Aspects of the Path 1988-1990 (Ven Jampa Gendun)
Date: 1998-04-29
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 38.6 minutes
Words: ~3,067
Don’t want to be liberated from our own prison of ego, from our our own problems. And how can we really develop the sincere wish to do that for others, to help others to go beyond their problems, their difficulties. As Śāntideva says, If you’ve never dreamed of such a thing even for yourself, how can you sincerely wish it for others? If you’ve never really determined that you yourself want to stop your suffering, that you want to be a happy person once and for all, if you’ve never directed that thought toward yourself, it makes no sense you know your own suffering so intimately, so immediately, so experientially, to begin to vicariously begin to secondhandedly wish that for others since you really can’t know their situation directly. So first we have to develop the determination to be free.
We have to see that there is suffering and want to go beyond it. This is the initial understanding our own conventional situation. But we are not alone, and that we’re social beings. Part of our self exists in relationship to others. I talked about this, the nature of the self.
We can talk about two aspects to it. The experiential private self, and the public self which exists in relationship to others, the social self. So any method, any holistic method of mental health must take into consideration both of these aspects of our self, our own experiential self, and a self, a social self, which stands in relationship to others. So part of our fortune, part of our well-being is inextricably bound up with the fortune, with the well-being of others. We’re not islands unto ourselves.
We don’t exist in isolation. Even someone who runs off into a cave, still that aspect of himself, that social self, still has been formed through his relationship with others, and he’s going to carry that around no matter where he goes, even if it’s into a cave in the Himalayas. That we are separate from others is merely the illusion of ego, that there’s a boundary that my happiness is over here and your happiness is over there. We talked about that last week with the illustration from Śāntideva about the hand pulling the thorn from the foot because they’re both a part of something greater. They’re part of the same whole.
Likewise, all sentient life, all living beings are parts of something greater, a whole called life. We don’t recognize this, we’re unable to see this simply through the obstructions of the illusion of our own ego, the boundaries that we create. The reason we don’t help each other is because we don’t understand each other. The reason we don’t have energy for others. This is because we really don’t understand ourselves, our own self-cherishing, exaggerated self concern, selfishness.
So this obstructs us understanding ourselves conventionally. I once mentioned about the two epistemological errors, errors in the way that we know, errors in our understanding. The first is the ultimate error or the error in understanding the ultimate nature is the self grasping, which will come to on the third path. But the other error is the error of the effectiveness of self-cherishing. That by being totally concerned, by putting oneself first, by placing one’s happiness above the happiness of others, that this is an effective method to gain the happiness that you’re seeking.
And we don’t even understand that it’s not working, that it hasn’t worked up to now, and it’s never going to work. Why is it that most couples fight? Or the couples that do fight. Why is it they fight? I guess most couples don’t fight, I don’t know.
They don’t have any dedication to one another. They don’t understand each other’s needs. When just two people come together, there must be some commitment to one another, some dedication to one another, some aim for their life together, some going beyond their own individual personal needs, their own selfishness, their own self-cherishing, their own self concern. There must be some giving over to the other. I think one of the best ways that most of us not us.
Most people learn selflessness is through having a child. There’s a baby who needs your help, and it’s helpless. It would die if you neglected it, a small baby. And it’s your responsibility. So even though you’re tired, even though you want to go back to sleep, you know that you have to get up.
Dedicated yourself to the welfare of that child. You forgo your own immediate wishes, your own immediate pleasures for the welfare of another being. There’s some real selflessness there, some real going beyond your self-cherishing. And if it wasn’t for this, none of us would be alive today. If each of our mothers didn’t, for some part of our lives, forego their own personal needs and think of somebody else.
This is the only thing which has kept the human race going, is this fact of selflessness, at least some part, in all of our lives. Opening up to others is first based upon understanding the conventional situation, our suffering and our problems, and being able to extend this to others, understanding that we are all part of a whole, just like the hand and the foot, And understanding that ultimately, the boundaries that appear so solid and concrete between self and other is merely an illusion. It’s just a manner of speaking, a helpful reference, you know, just like far and near helps us. It’s convenient way of referring, you know, that’s far, that’s as near. When I go over there, what was near becomes far, what was far becomes near.
They don’t ultimately exist as far or near. They don’t absolutely exist as far or near. They exist that way as a manner of speaking, as a convenient reference. Self and others don’t ultimately exist as separate as self, as other. It’s just a manner of speaking, a convenient reference.
So this becomes a reasonable basis from beginning to develop the thought to open to others. And we can talk about, you know, from viewpoint of experience. So often, we make such a fuss of insignificant events in our life that we turn minor difficulties into major problems. As we develop the universal view of bodhicitta, however, these small concerns become unimportant and no longer bother us. And as the burden of self concern drops from our shoulders, we experience the small taste of the complete freedom that comes with full spiritual fulfillment.
Experiences like this are encouraging because they demonstrate so convincingly the practical day to day value of training and transforming our mind. Opening up to others, developing this awakening mind, awakening heart creates the space whereby we can embrace all living beings and take responsibility for them, taking responsibility. I can do something. I can do something now, but I need to develop myself so that I can do more in the future. Develop a dedicated attitude, opening your mind to all sentient beings.
We destroy the mind which is unsympathetic, which is indifferent, which doesn’t care. So the ego is very narrow, and the awakening heart is very vast. It’s a universal thought. And as we develop this more universal character, we begin to go beyond the petty needs and the petty resources of an individual ego. We begin to tap into a greater source of wisdom.
Develop the skillful means whereby we can begin to benefit more and more people. When we think of my needs, my wants, one individual, one person, so the necessity for growth is such that we only need to satisfy the needs of one person, one individual. But as our attitude becomes more and more universal, begins to widen to a greater, greater scope, we’re forced by this very motivation, by a very dedication to grow, to develop our skills, to develop our wisdom, to fulfill the needs not of one person, but of many, and ultimately of all sentient beings. So this attitude in itself is a way to grow. We live up to the needs of others.
If we never have to make this demand upon ourselves, we’re never going to grow to that extent. We’re never going to actualize all that we could be. In this way, others become a wish fulfilling gem. A friend of mine just wrote to me, a Tibetan friend, and he said, Just remember that sentient beings, the people, are wish fulfilling gems. What did he mean?
The more and more demands that others make upon us, the greater our strength grows. Even the Dalai Lama said, in talking about the Chinese, Actually, we owe them a great debt. They have been very kind to us. They have made us strong. We’ve had to endure many hardships which we would have otherwise not had to endure.
So when we place ourselves in positions where others make demands upon us, actually they represent a great opportunity to grow, to develop our resources, our strength, our wisdom, which we would never realize, never have the opportunity without these other people, without their needs. You know, people, they talk about social justice, they talk about peace, and some people even talk about the need for a revolution, a revolution, a revolution in the world. A real revolutionary is someone who cherishes others more than himself. And such a person will be happy, and he will make others happy. Cherishing yourself is like digging a knife into your own heart.
Without this thought to cherish others, there’s no real way to bring peace to the world, to bring peace to your own mind. So this represents a real challenge. You’re really doing something with your life, something worthwhile. You respect yourself. Respect others, and your life has meaning.
Even to be happy in a very mundane sense, we have to respect ourselves. If you don’t respect yourself, then no matter what you may have, no matter what you may experience outside, is not going to do you any good. So in order to do that, we have to make some effort. Even though it’s only a slight amount of effort, we still have to make some effort to be all that we can be. And also the need to open up to others arises out of intuition, inarticulate whisperings of our hearts.
The poetry of the heart. But when the power of imparting joy is equal to the will, the human soul requires no other heaven. Beyond intellect, beyond experience, beyond pragmatism. Simply because if it is our inmost desire to go beyond our self centered concern, then we have to do it. We have to go beyond the narrow confines of our own ego.
This part of ourselves which is remain repressed, which is lying dormant, part of ourselves which has always been forgotten, That part of ourself without which life is merely a series of events without meaning, without any vitality, without any life, just hollow, purposeless. Or, as in my case, if you’ve been fortunate enough to be blessed by having come in contact with spiritual masters. Hereby the warmth of their words and by the moisture of their kindness have germinated the seed of the awakening heart within you. You know, it’s been my great fortune to have sat literally at the feet of many, many spiritual masters, many holy beings. It’s not as if they just spend a great deal of their time helping others, But it’s that they’ve given their life to sentient beings.
They’ve dedicated their life to alleviating suffering, to bringing others to happiness. Their life is very important to them, and they’ve given it over to others. Some people come to me and they tell me their life is meaningless, that they want to throw it away. And I wonder why don’t they throw it to sentient beings if it’s so worthless. Why don’t they give it to others if it’s of no benefit to them?
But they can’t. Many people are willing to die for a cause. Very few are willing to live, live for others. We’re talking about the awakening heart, opening to others. How can I fathom the depths of the goodness of this jewel of the mind, the panacea that relieves the world of pain and is the source of all its joy?
If merely a benevolent intention excels venerating the Buddhas, did one need to mention striving to make all beings without exception happy? Although wishing to be rid of misery, we run towards misery itself. Although wishing to have happiness, like an enemy, we ignorantly destroy it. For those who are deprived of happiness and burdened with many sorrows, the awakening heart satisfies them with all joys, dispels all suffering, and clears away confusion. Where is there a comparable virtue?
Where is there even such a friend? Where is there merit similar to this? I bow down to the body of him in whom the sacred, precious mind of the awakening heart is born. I seek refuge in that source of joy which brings happiness even to those who give harm. Now we’ll meditate in loving kindness.
Think of your own difficulties, your own problems, and the fact that you want to be happy. Whatever you may have done in the past, whatever mistakes you may have created, you can simply regret them and determine not to repeat them again in the future and begin again. You can change. And whatever identity you may hold to, however you may conceive of yourself, you can become anything that you want to be. You can begin again.
For the present, we have to accept ourselves, all the various parts of ourselves, the good and the bad, become friends with ourselves, have compassion for ourselves, and wish ourselves well. Wish yourself happiness. May I be happy. May I not suffer. May I grow.
May I be well. Now think of someone that you like, that you love. Imagine that person in front of you, someone of the same sex. Remember all the kindness that this person has shown you, all the good times that you’ve shared, the happiness. Again, to direct the natural feelings of caring, of concern, of wanting to be happy toward this person.
Simply wish them happiness, wish they did not suffer. Now think of someone you neither like or dislike, a stranger. Imagine that person in front of you. We want to try to go beyond the superficial appearances that we usually cling to, that we usually judge people by, beneath the appearance of sex or their age, their color, whether they are beautiful or ugly, their economic status, their education, personality. Try to see the essence of that person.
There is someone there who wants happiness and doesn’t want to suffer just like yourself. There’s no difference. See the essence. Just as you wish your own self happiness, Wish this person happiness because it’s very much a reflection of how we feel about ourselves deep down, how we feel about this essential person, so direct positive feelings towards this Now think of someone who disturbs your mind, that you have problems with, an enemy. Imagine that person in front of you.
This person wants to be happy and doesn’t want to suffer just like yourself. Perhaps their way of finding their happiness, eliminating their suffering, come conflict with your method of finding your happiness, eliminating your suffering. It’s just a conflict of interests, yours and theirs. You’ve hurt others either intentionally or unintentionally in the past to get the happiness that you wanted, and this person has done the same to you. Just as we have to forgive ourselves for the mistakes that we have made in the past, we have to begin to forgive others for their mistakes.
So just for the moment, set aside your hurt, your grudge, your anger, and see someone just like yourself trying the best they can to find some happiness in life and being confused about how to go about it and making many, many mistakes along the way and wish them happiness. Now imagine all four people together, yourself and these three others. Usually, have feelings of being close to one, distant from another. But try to see them essentially as equal. They’re all exactly the same, all want happiness.
None want to suffer, no difference. And without any bias, radiate out positive feelings equally to all four people. And all the people in this room, people searching, looking, taking responsibility for their lives, for their happiness, May you be happy. May you find all that you’re looking for, find peace, find love, and love others and help others. To radiate out good feelings to everyone in the room.
And all the people on the block, people eating, watching television, reading the newspaper, getting ready for bed, whatever they do, whatever they say, they do it and say it because they think it’s going to bring them happiness. Wish them that happiness. Radiating out further, extending your positive feelings to all of Adelaide, before in their cars and buses walking on the streets, their homes. Extending that further, opening your heart, your mind to all of South Australia, all the people, animals, and insects. Further, extending out further and further, Alice Springs, Perth, Darwin, Brisbane, Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne, Hobart, the entire country.
And further radiating out positive feelings. New Zealand. Extending out further and further, opening your heart, the entire southern hemisphere. Further and further, extending out further, enveloping the entire world in your heart and your concern, your care, all the people, black, white, red, yellow, all the animals, all the insects, everything that lives on the earth is touched by your caring, by your concern, your wish. Radiating out in all the directions.
Further and further, extending out to the space. Till finally, without any boundaries, without any center, pervading all of infinite space, I wish, may all things be happy. May all things be happy. Dedicate the positive energy that we created. Through these merits, may I soon attain the enlightened state of Guru Buddha, and may I lead every migrating being without exception to that state.
May the precious bodhicitta not yet born arise and grow. May that born have no decline and increase forevermore.