Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. A Vietnamese woman chants Amitābha’s name a thousand times daily for ten years yet remains quick to anger; her friend’s dry rejoinder opens Ven Jampa Gendun’s 47-minute session on why quality of attention, not quantity of repetition, transforms the mind. He then reviews the Three Principal Aspects of the Path series, explaining why opening the heart to others must come before inquiry into emptiness, with an unexpected parallel from Jungian archetypal psychology: how we relate to others mirrors the integration of multiple identities within our own psyche. The bulk of the session covers the sevenfold cause-and-effect method for cultivating bodhicitta, centering on the equanimity meditation — visualising friend, enemy, and stranger side by side and examining how these categories are projected, arbitrary, and changeable — before closing by distinguishing genuine love from attachment.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 07 3 PA 1989 03 03.mp3
UUID: 20815767-2f46-476f-b8a6-c649e15edf23
Teacher: Ven Jampa Gendun
Collection: Three Principal Aspects of the Path 1988-1990 (Ven Jampa Gendun)
Date: 1989-03-03
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 47.1 minutes
Words: ~6,361
That takes place in Vietnam concerning a woman named Mrs. Nguyen. He is talking about the quality of practice, the quality of meditation. What we bring to our practice, what we bring to our meditation. When we practice sitting and walking we must pay attention to the quality of the sitting and walking, not the quantity.
We have to practice intelligently. We need to create the kind of practice that will fit our circumstance. So there’s a story I would like to tell you about a woman who practices the invocation of Buddha Amitābha’s name. She’s very tough and she practices the invocation three times daily using a wooden drum and a bell reciting Namo Amitābha Buddha for one hour each time. When she arrives at one thousand times she invites the bell to sound, that is she strikes the bell.
Although she has been doing this for ten years her personality has not changed. She is still quite mean shouting at people all the time. A friend wanted to teach her a lesson so one afternoon when she was just about to light the incense and she invited the bell to sound three times and was beginning to recite Namo Amitābha Buddha. He came to her door and said Mrs. Nguyen, Mrs. Nguyen. She found it very annoying because this was the time of her practice but he had just stood at the front gate shouting her name. She said to herself, I have to struggle against my anger so I will ignore that. And she went on Namo Amitābha Buddha. Namo Amitābha Buddha.
The gentleman continued to shout her name and her anger became more and more oppressive. She struggled against it wondering should I stop my recitation and go and give him a piece of my mind? But she continued chanting and she struggled every she struggled very hard. Fire mounted in her but still she tried to chant Namo Amitābha Buddha. The gentleman knew it and he continued to shout, Mrs.
Nyunin, Mrs. Nyunin. She could not bear it any longer. She threw away the bell and the drum. She slammed the door, went out to the gate and said, Why do you behave like that?
Why do you call my name hundreds of times like that? The gentleman smiled at her and said, I just called your name for ten minutes and you are so angry. You have been calling the Buddha’s name for ten years. Think how angry he must be by now. The problem is not to do a lot, but to do it correctly.
If you do it correctly, you become kinder, nicer, more understanding, and loving. When we practice sitting or walking we should pay attention to the quality and not the quantity. If we practice only for the quantity then we are not very different from Mrs. Nguyen. I think she learned a lesson.
I think she did better after that. So we’re just even if it’s only like ten minutes or five minutes in your practice it’s much if you bring the proper attitude, you do it correctly intelligently, it’s much more worthwhile than supposedly more profound practices where people do long recitations for hours on end but without any sort of mindfulness, without any awareness, without the proper attitude, without any intelligence behind their practice. So however your humble practice, however humble your practice may be, if it’s done well it can have a significant influence a beneficial influence on your mind. So if we can sit in a intelligent posture comfortable kind of a purpose purposefulness about what we’re going to do and we’ll sit and do mindfulness of breathing. I’ve been talking about the objects of refuge.
I’m first dealing with the idea of enlightenment as a a source of of refuge in the sense that it’s the ultimate method whereby we can solve our problems once and for all. The the ultimate solution in the sense that the qualities of enlightened mind seeing the way things actually are and without any prejudice, any mistaken conception directly beyond our fantasies, the reality of our situation both conventionally and ultimately and the quality of love and compassion and the and thirdly the creative activity especially in working for the benefit of others And then as to whether this idea of enlightened mind was workable, is it some in sense an extension of our present situation or is it something which is simply being fabricated out of some need to security or some hope for the future and coming to an understanding in some small way, at least in superficially, that that we all have these seeds at least of these qualities within us that everyone has some wisdom that is to say no matter how obscure, no matter how faint it might be that we have some understanding from time to time of our real situation of our real nature of our reality of our situation.
And that we all have some love no matter how exclusive it may be you know only perhaps directed to those we hold close those we hold dear, those who are kind to us, matter how limited we might be able to express it, we might be able to develop it and that we all have some energy no matter how unrefined, how unspontaneous this energy may be. So it’s the now we can go on to ask the question where does the idea of enlightenment come from? Perhaps in fact there is such a ultimate solution to our problems and in fact that we have the seeds of that solution within us but what is the principle of the idea this possibility of evolution What is the source of it? And this is in history itself that there have been women and men who have through various methods who have cultivated these seeds of enlightenment within them and solve their problems that they had become loving healthy sane human beings. You know that for example there have been an infinite number of Buddhists perhaps but but you know we as I said it’s difficult to know what a Buddha is and if we just simply say someone who is a happy loving healthy saint human being someone who no longer has to look at themselves who is who is carried away with the spirit of enlightenment the will to benefit others and guided by their own wisdom and extending environmental generosity from the richness of their own being.
Something like this that’s in some terms perhaps we can at least get a handle on that we can identify with that there have been people who have significantly transformed themselves and their being become fulfilled purposeful self authenticating human beings and had worked tirelessly to do the same for others to lead them to the same ends That that these beings that they were not always like this that the Mother Teresa’s and the Dalai Lama’s of the world were not always like this that in fact that the Buddha was not always an extraordinary man that he became an extraordinary being by his own will, by his own initiative, by his own motivation, by cultivating what was already potential within him. So you know this the idea comes from history itself that there have been others who have done this and that this is one of the reasons that the Buddha is so highly respected, highly revered that in a sense of as a teacher, as an exemplar, as a guide, you know, as a teacher who, you know, someone who has traveled the path him or herself and has therefore has the ability to show the same way to others as a exemplar by their very having the very fact that they were able to travel path and that they’re as a guide and that they’re able to assist us in our in ourselves traveling the path.
So it’s for this reason that the that the Buddha is is so highly regarded having demonstrated a way that it’s possible for us all to to go beyond the narrow limited perhaps neurotic patterns that were very much stuck in at present and become something perhaps we had never hoped, never imagined ourselves the possibility of becoming. You know really solving our problems in a real significant way and really transforming ourselves in a real significant way. You know we have a very limited conception of ourselves as insufficient, perhaps worthless, very negative. And in this sense our life becomes a self deceiving, self fulfilling prophecy. So we have to go for refuge to the possibility of transformation to to really believe very deeply that we can solve our problems That we simply are not going to spend the rest of our life doing cosmetic readjustments of our problems simply solving, you know, removing more or less exchanging problems one for another which is very much our case in ordinary situations that we find ourselves simply moving from one dissatisfactory situation to another to another to another never really having learned never really having solved anything in an ultimate sense.
That we have this potential, that we aren’t these limited insufficient beings that we may conceive of ourselves to be. That we all have the seeds of love and compassion, that these seeds are cultivatable and there are methods whereby we can develop these potentials. So in this sense, no matter what situation we may find ourselves in, no matter how low, you know, you may look up from out of the gutter of your garbage mind and think you’re the you’re the lowest thing that’s ever come along in the world. You know that that mud puddle, if there was one out on the road, there isn’t now, be nice if there was. That mud puddle out on the road is, you know, you’re lower than that mud puddle on the road.
Coming to an you know, that’s that’s very much that’s a mark of wisdom itself, mark of awareness, you know, recognizing one’s own situation where you’re going. You know, they they say that the first step toward wisdom is to recognize your ignorance. And coming to an awareness of our situation is also compassion, love, wishing ourselves happiness. And recognizing our situation, arousing the energy, say don’t go back to sleep, you know, don’t bury yourself in the sand again, your head in the sand again, but try to maintain this awareness of your present predicament and use that energy as a force for positive change in your life. So this is creative energy, isn’t it?
So no matter what circumstances we may be in, if there’s awareness, if there’s a recognition, if there’s a clarity, a wisdom, love and compassion and energy working constantly. That is to say there’s there’s a spark of enlightenment which is working throughout our daily lives. So rather than becoming depressed in the difficulties that we find ourselves in, becoming torturing ourselves, becoming hard on ourselves, then that should be a source of inspiration. Seeing our situation and seeing that this is in fact the spark of enlightenment which is telling us to become all that we can be, all that we should be. That in fact in a Buddhahood, to become a happy, loving, sane, healthy human being is our birthright.
It came with the the body and the mind. It came with the package. And it’s simply up to us. It’s simply up to our own efforts. You know, if we make this effort then we can be helped and we can help others.
If we don’t make this effort of course then we can help no one. In fact no one can help us. It’s very much of a individual initiative, a self motivating factor. But it’s not to say that we cannot be assisted, that there isn’t a spiritual community of like minded individuals who we can make use of as support as examples, as helpers along the way. But it’s very much a matter of self initiation, self motivation.
So this, in a way, this becomes very much our ultimate refuge, our own mind. You know believing in oneself, believing in ones potential, believing that one can solve one’s problems and making use of the methods at hand to actually do that. And this is a realistic workable refuge, some way to solve our problem. And we call this the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. To the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha, I go for refuge until I’m enlightened.
Through the merit I create by practicing giving and the other perfections, may I attain Buddhahood for the sake of all beings. To the Buddha, the Dharma, the Sangha, I go for refuge until I am enlightened. Through the merit I create by practicing giving and the other perfections, may I attain Buddhahood for the sake of all beings. To the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha, I go for refuge until I am enlightened through the merit I crave by practicing giving and the other perfections. May I attain Buddhahood for the sake of all beings.
I heard some there were some grumblings that we have. We haven’t got to the to what the looking into the deep nature of reality yet. So, you know, I would like to just, you know, I’m reviewing what we went over last year. You know we’re talking about the three principal aspects of the path. You know developing new determination to be free, opening your hearts to others and seeing deeply into nature of reality.
And so as a matter of review I’ve been I have finished developing determination to be free and I hope and now we’re going to we’re reviewing opening our hearts to others. You know, as as a probably, you know, the the only reason that we open our hearts, the only reason that we want to see deeply in nature reality from the point of view of altruism is that it it culminates, it brings to make sense out of opening our hearts. You know, if if we are if we were to open our hearts, develop compassion, develop love, develop the sincere desire to cultivate ourselves, our skillful means in order to be able to help others. And seeing that the ultimate skill and methods resides in becoming a happy, loving, sane, healthy human being but also in the sense that we have to have the wisdom. And that is to say we have to see deeply in the nature of reality that the motivation for looking into reality, developing wisdom is because we’ve opened our hearts for others.
Otherwise It could be another problem for us to add to us our existing problems. You know I think very much the essence of all religions no matter what essentially you know we can’t kid ourselves. Most religions have in some way been perverted, that the essence has been lost in many ways. But it’s not to say that there aren’t real practitioners practicing with the real essence of their religion and this essence is love and compassion, very much going out of oneself involvement in others. You know part of our problem is that we’re completely absorbed in our own problems.
That we’re completely bound up in our own problems. And so in struggling to solve our problems we never can arrive at a real solution because the solution, part of the solution at least, is seeing that part of the problem is that we don’t look, we’re completely absorbed in our own problems, that we don’t see the problems of others and therefore you know we don’t aren’t able to become involved in others problems. And the narrowness of this perspective is in itself a problem. You know the very much I’ve been studying this last year a subject called archetypal psychology and we deal it’s like an offshoot of Jungian psychology dealing with the psyche and the various potentials within the psyche. And it becomes very it becomes it’s becoming more apparent to me that our inner life, the life of the psyche, the life within our mind is very much mirrored as a reflection of our outer life.
The life that how we relate with other people, how we relate with our environment. You know people talk about for example deep ecology. There was a sense when ecology said well we must take care of our environment, must take care of the trees and animals so that we will have them in the future. We need the need the trees to transform carbon dioxide into oxygen. We need it for our own well-being therefore we should protect these things.
But now there’s a sense that these things are of value in themselves, that animals are not so much what they can do for human beings, but in themselves they are worth preserving, that they are a value in themselves, that our environment is a value in itself, not so much what we can make out of it, how we can exploit it. And I think this reflects I mean, of course this is a very specialized viewpoint. It’s a but I think it reflects a reflection within ourselves, a reflection of people who value themselves, who value, what can we say, the very images within their own psyche. If we seek to exploit others, if we seek to exploit the environment, and I think others are seen very much as a reflection of these various images within ourselves, then we’re seek going going to exceed in fact, we’re seeking to exploit parts of ourselves. We’re seeking we’re not going to be able to relate in an open fluid fashion with ourselves if we can’t do that with others.
You know, how we relate with the world around us and the people around us is very much a reflection of how we’re relating with ourselves, within ourselves, within our own psyche. Whether we’re integrating, whether we’re breaking down the barriers to communication, opening ourselves to ourselves and to others. It’s almost, almost it would seem the same process is occurring, you know, just being reflected inner and outer, something like that. So it becomes a very great necessity I think to, you know, if how we you know if we’re going to become whole and if we’re going to integrate all these you know multifarious facets of ourselves. Know one of the important aspects in when we come to seeing deeply in the nature of reality, when we talk about this self is that the that the individual has multiplicities of identities, that we don’t have a singularity or identity, that we we try to hold on to that for to secure ourselves and that we know this is who I am.
This is a permanent aspect of myself. You know I’ve mentioned that the C student in the past, someone who conceives himself as a C student and will relate with reality, relate with others from that as a working basis, that they’re a C type person. They have this one unitary identity. But in fact you know as we examine it even superficially we begin to understand that we have a multiplicity of identities that we have sometimes we have you know we talk about it on a one level of sometimes we relate with a very masculine aspect sometimes a very feminine aspect. Yeah?
And if we were to cut off if you were to only to grasp at one particular way of identifying with yourself you’re going to cut off a tremendous amount of your own potential within your own mind. You know, if as in the very much as as a male relates to a female outside he’s relating if his masculine identity is relating with his female potential within himself. And how we and so this can be carried, you know, further and further. How I relate with the multiplicity of the types of people that I meet is how I’m very much relating with the multiplicity of identities, images within my own psyche. And so it becomes extremely important to begin to open our hearts to others, to begin as a means to begin integration of all the multifaceted aspects within our own personality so that we become a whole being.
And whole has the same root as holy, they become sacred, They become healthy. So this is not some romantic notion of opening our hearts to others. It seems as if it’s quite necessary process to enter spiritual development. I’m talking about the two traditions. I’m going to, you know, just very roughly.
I know some of you you know, I I don’t I think it’s important. And I know, you know, today it was hot. I was hot and it was I wasn’t in a very good mood. But then I I began to read over read my notes over and I began it sort of gave me some more energy. I became I became sort of more enthusiasm.
It was kind of very inspiring. Not because they were in my notes but the whole idea, the thought behind it. So I know it’s I think it’s worthwhile but but you know I I’m not gonna make any promises but you know we’ll we’ll just go through these two traditions roughly just to sort of jog our memory a little bit for those who were here last year. Just I think it’s worthwhile to again and again have these ideas presented. I mean this is this was my experience when studying in India that many of the teachings were repeated over and over and over again.
And each time that one heard them there was something new to be heard something new to be understood. In my case, I’m just going to just go over the main essential points of these two traditions whereby to awaken our hearts to open our hearts to others. And these two traditions as most as most of you remember were what? The sevenfold cause and effect precept which came down from a lineage from Śākyamūni Buddha down to Maitreya, Asaṇga, down to Atisha, and finally down to the various lineage masters to the present day. I think it’s interesting that within Buddhism especially the lineage is quite important.
That is to say an unbroken lineage, that there’s some kind of energy which has been passed unbroken for two thousand five hundred years. I’m speaking these words to you, I’m describing a a meditative tradition which is over two thousand five hundred years old and it’s been taught in an unbroken succession of masters, not discounting myself, for an unbroken lineage for two thousand five hundred years. There’s some kind of, you know, like the Buddha, there’s some there’s some causal connection with the Buddha’s words, his energy that he spoke these words with and that he taught this particular meditative tradition. So that’s the sevenfold cause and effect precept. It has its basis as in equanimity then we go on to recognize all sentient beings as our mother begin to appreciate their kindness remembering their kindness develop the wish to repay their kindness, develop affection and love, great compassion, develop exceptional resolve, finally the seventh, the one effect of the six causes, the awakening heart, bodhicitta, the will to enlightenment, the mind of enlightenment.
And then the second tradition, the meditative tradition is equalizing and exchanging self with others. And this has its lineage from, again from Śākyamūni Buddha down to Mañjuśrī, Śāntideva, again Atisha, who united these two lineages in unbroken succession down to the present day. And I’ve had these teachings from various teachers in number of times. So I’m going to you know just go over roughly the you know tonight the sevenfold cause and effect precept beginning with the quality of equanimity.
And you know what the essential the meaning behind equanimity. And what you know I tried to emphasize the necessity for making effort in this in general. That it’s it’s simply simply it’s not just dry words which have been written on paper or something which has become a slogan in Christianity or or great vehicle Buddhism but it’s simply it seems to be a necessity for those who want to really become sane human beings, I think. In some way in some way even if it’s only slightly we have to begin to make effort and consider becoming involved in in the lives of others over and above the implications for our own happiness. You know, develop some altruism.
And as I’ve said before altruism may be the most accessible means for most of us to find happiness. The psychological method to go beyond our neurosis. Essentially what in developing equanimity we want to the meaning of it essentially is to see the arbitrary and changeable nature of the labeling process by which we categorize individuals. We have a natural tendency and this is you know this is preconscious. Mean this is this is not a conscious process we’re we’re talking about that when you see an individual you’ve already categorized.
You categorized that person. You’ve decided in what way you’re going to relate with that person. You’ve categorized them in a very broad classifications into either friend, enemy, or stranger. With respect to the friend, you’re there’s going to develop on based upon a liking, you’re going to develop attachment. With respect to the stranger there’s based upon aversion you’re going to develop on the basis of dislike you’re going to develop aversion.
On the basis of confusion with respect to the stranger as to whether you should like them or not like them you’re going to develop indifference as if they don’t exist at all. So there’s these based upon these appearances which you are unconsciously processing You know when you when you meet any person you’re going to categorize them and as I said this isn’t a conscious process. This is come this is preconscious the way we perceive individuals. But we perceive this quality as if it were coming from the side of the individuals. This is one of the the inherent errors that we’re we were talking about.
And I talked about the two basic errors that we have to overcome the error of ego grasping and the error of the error of self-centeredness as a means of finding happiness. Well, you know, if we would expand upon self centeredness, it’s the idea of inherent existence, that things exist from their own side. And we even though we’re creating this individual that we actually in fact project or create strangers, enemies, and friends, we we aren’t aware of this process. In fact, we accede to that appearance as though the friend, the enemy, and the stranger were coming from their own side. That there’s something oozing out of this friend which is dislikable.
It’s not likable about them. Something oozing out of this enemy which is distasteful, which you just get away. Don’t bother. I don’t and something about this this stranger which is kind of blah. Doesn’t Doesn’t matter.
Go that doesn’t as if they don’t exist. But these qualities are just kind of oozing out of them, you know. You know, you talk about you know, you you notice with attachment, don’t you? When you’re something about the way she walks, you know. I used to I used to be a painter just long time ago.
And I used to try to analyze what I meant, you know, and I thought especially with I used to like to do life life drawing and figure, you know, paint from the figure. And if to think that this was beautiful, that perhaps this woman’s face, this woman’s body was beautiful, I used to try to figure out, you know, why do I conceive of that that way? Why is it? And I stand especially with the face. I try to figure out why this face was beautiful to me and this face wasn’t.
And I try to analyze the cheekbones and the line of the nose, you know? And it’s very interesting if you you can watch. And I would I would take this face and somehow it would it would be appearing beautiful to me. Then I would look at it and then maybe I see a pimple over here. And then the beauty would start would go away.
The appearance would change, you know. It was quite anyway, this is what I used to do. But it appears that this beauty is coming from that side and that’s why we want it so much. We want to incorporate this into our territory to increase our our ego value, you might say. Bring it in here.
We don’t see it in fact that it’s being projected from our own side, but it’s coming from this side of the object. So this is what we’re one of the things we’ll look into when we when we look into the nature of reality. This factor of projection and this factor of preconscious processing of our perceptions. But here we’re working on a sense of a conventional level that we in fact we make these categorizations based upon these categorizations. We’ve decided how we’re going to relate with that object and that’s the way we relate with them.
Come here, go away, I don’t care about you. Something like that. So we want to work with this, we want to develop some equality of feeling. We want to begin to understand, to develop a flexibility of mind that these labels, these projections are arbitrary, they aren’t based upon any sound reasoning, in fact and also they’re quite changeable. So I’ll I’ll just explain that the very briefly the actual meditation that we can do.
You you you imagine on in front of you on the right side is a friend someone that you like, middle, a stranger, on the left side, someone that you don’t like, an enemy. And you, you know, you think about all the wonderful things that your friend did for you, How kind they’ve been to you, all the gifts that they gave you, the sweet words that they they speak to you. And what you know, analyzing. Why is it I feel so close to this person? Why why do I like this person so much?
And you’ll begin to see that what you’ve done is because they’ve given you things, because they’ve spoken sweetly to you, because they value you, that you like them. You know, you’re selecting out specific ways of them relating to you. And dependence upon these, you label friend. You develop a liking and dependence upon that, you label friend. But if we were to be a little more objective with respect to the same person, we could begin to if we wanted to, for this particular reason, we could select out times when they weren’t so friendly, when they actually hurt us, when they spoke nastily to us, when they took things from us.
And we could select out, you know, negative qualities in our relationship. And if we watch, if we watch, we’re going to that person’s going to the appearance of that person is going to change. I don’t mean, when I say appearance, not the visual aspect but the the overall image that we’re feeling from that person. You know I said before this friend like there was something attractive something desirable oozing out of them you know from their side. Now we begin to, consciously select out, focus on negative aspect of them.
They’re not that oozing sort of stops, ceases. They don’t they’re not quite as attractive as they used to be, not quite as desirable. It’s not oozing out as much. So, you know, we can begin if we, you know, on the basis of this looking perhaps more objectively at the overall way we relate with this individual that there are times when they treat us well, times when they treat us badly They develop a more reasonable way of relating to them. Now the question is, you know, because our affection, because our love is so mixed with attachment, there is a fear that if one loses your attachment it’s equated with love, that you lose your love, that your relationship is gone.
And this is because that we for most of us our whatever love we may we in fact do feel toward this person is almost inevitably mixed in with attachment. But we can begin to distinguish between these two factors that in fact the attachment does not enhance the relationship whatsoever. It may enhance your feeling of ego security but this is not perhaps if looked into a little more deeper level is not all that desirable of a of a of a way of relating simply to find ego security for yourself. That that we can relate with someone simply on a basis of love and begin to maintain that love and in fact in the in diminishing their attachment for that person and then diminishing our expectations, the preconceived the way they should act which is what attachment is doing. That in fact we can have a deeper more meaningful talk of relationship with that person since you allow them to be more and more themselves.
You can be more and more yourself. You aren’t holding on to some specific image of how they should be. Yeah? Attachment is based upon some specific image of that person, a very static, very permanent type of image. And And one of the problems is when this image of that person in the way they want to be or what they want to grow out of that image that you have for them or if in fact that image is so discordant with the way they actually act that it becomes the basis for a great deal of conflict.
So if we can see that person for themselves, value them for themselves beyond our attachment then we can actually you know broaden and deepen our love and it has nothing to do with attachment. Likewise with the enemy, you know, why do I feel this aversion? Why do I want to push this person away? Because we selectively focus beyond our preconscious level of thinking upon activities that they’ve created in the past which we dislikable that hurt us. Based upon that we dislike them based upon and based upon that disliking we have aversion we want to push them away.
We can if we if we have a long term relationship focus on positive aspects of our relationship and reverse this process and go beyond this aversion. Likewise with the stranger that we can imagine situations where this person could say just a few words or they could give us a smile, you know some insignificant gesture could change our entire attitude toward them. That these that friend, enemy, stranger are simply arbitrary labels and that they’re constantly changing, that they’re not based upon any reasonable rational process. You know who who are we to love? Who are we to hate?
If two people, one of them yesterday gives you a present, today hits you in the face. If another person yesterday hit you in the face, today gives you a present. These two people you’re going to have very divergent ways of conceiving of them. But objectively they did exactly the same thing to you. They both hit you in the face, they both gave you a present.
But because the difference is in time your perception of them is going to be radically altered. You’re going to see one as as a friend the other as an enemy. But objectively, you know, if we were rational objective which we generally aren’t, we could we would we could see that they’d actually been very much the same to us, related to us in exactly the same way. So the idea in and behind equanimity is not that we give up that we give up our relationships but that we give up you know it’s not necessary to give up your boyfriend or your wife or your children but to begin to see that in fact the way that that seen them as likable is not coming from their own side. That it’s that’s the way that you’ve selected out the way you relate to them and allowing them and to actually creating some room to actually develop real love which in a way is is hindered by attachment.
Since love is the sincere wish to be happy. And sometimes in order for other people to be happy they may have to do things which would not might not please us. And if we’re attached then we’re not going to allow them that space, that possibility. So we actually in many ways attachment. And there’s the real possibility of love.
And also with respect to the person who we hate developing the flexibility that this relationship could change very radically. You know it often does doesn’t it? In my case my own personal experience that there had been people who had a very close relationship. Know that they I would have done anything for them, would have done anything for for me. At least we felt that way at one some particular time in our life.
And a few years later we couldn’t stand the sight of each other and vice versa that people who I didn’t get along with later on became very good friends. That we allow the flexibility for these relationships to change that we need to create some space and that we develop a more even minded attitude. This is the foundation, the platform upon which we build the six causes and the one effect of the sevenfold cause and effect precept that we develop in the Awakening Heart. And so the