Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. What does a dying person actually perceive, stage by stage? In this 46-minute talk, Ven Jampa Gendun walks through the Tibetan Buddhist death sequence in careful detail: how the four physical elements dissolve in succession, each producing a characteristic inner vision — shimmering mirage, swirling smoke, sparks over fire, a guttering flame — before the white and red creative drops converge at the heart and the clear light of death dawns. He explains why this final moment matters: ignorance naturally ceases, opening a window for direct realization of emptiness. He then turns to the five forces for ordinary practitioners facing death — giving away possessions, aspiring prayer, purification, dedicating everything, dying with compassion — and closes with grounded advice on accompanying a dying person.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 04 H and M of B 1992 07 27.mp3
UUID: c0c13c61-d404-44c0-a3a6-662ff16333f0
Teacher: Ven Jampa Gendun
Collection: The Heart and Mind of Buddhism (Ven Jampa Gendun)
Date: 1992-07-27
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 46.5 minutes
Words: ~5,640
The practitioner familiarizes herself with the death sequence which naturally arises at the moment of death in order to be able to take advantage of the sequence. We’re going to talk about this process of the evolution of death, how it occurs and how it is experienced. Our everyday physical form, this body of ours, is composed of various material elements. It’s subject to inevitable decay and deterioration, and finally death. All causes of death whatsoever, whether it’s simply through the process, the natural aging process, or whether it’s a violent death through accident, whatsoever are all brought about through the process of karma.
Some kind of Here, you know, here what I mean by karma is all the activities that shape that form the being. Who we are at this very present moment is a combination of many causes and conditions coming together in a interweaving, intersecting event in time and space, which is who we are. All these karmic forces, this includes all the imprints of our past actions, our genetic coding, our life in the world, our parental, social, and cultural condition. All of these conditions, the sum total of all these conditionings constitute who we are at present, at this very present moment. All these interactions of all these processes.
So even the cells of the body are controlled by karma. All of these various, we feel it, we sense ourselves to be something very substantial, but in fact we are an expression of processing, of them. Continually in progress. Continually coming to be. It’s not as if have reached some kind of state of solidity where the process has culminated.
It’s a never ending process. These processes are replicating the type of being we are. As long as the flow of the karma is uninterrupted, as long as these processes continue. If there’s any interruption in these processes, the being ceases. The being has not come into full solid being form.
Continual expression of processes. All these actions which are shaping who we are. Even the cells of our body, they are determined, they are brought into being by a flow, a continual working out of these processes. Any breakdown in the continuum of these processes in this karmic flow that which is shaping these forms, the cells of the body whatsoever brings about death. The cessation of whatever form that was being supported by those processes.
And then the cells in turn are made up of combinations of the four elements. In Buddhist, why would you say chemistry, cosmology? Everything in the universe is constituted of six elements. These are commonly given the names of earth, water, fire, wind energy, space, and consciousness. So everything in the universe whatsoever is a combination of proportions, of different proportions of these six elements.
We ourselves, this table, this building, everything. So, but these elements more than thinking of them in terms of like little grapefruits, like little atoms or something like that. They are forces or principle which constitute our being, which constitute objects. You know, they support form for example, the four elements of earth, water, fire, and energy, wind energy. They are supporting material form, material object, evidence, that is to say objects which have evolved out of these four elements.
The earth element is the principle of extension, solidity, hardness, that which supports form in space and time. It’s like a principle, the principle of solidity, maintaining structure in space and over time. The water element is the principle of cohesion at which bind material together, opposing dispersion, breaking apart the water element. Fire element is the principle of temperature or the measure of the average energy of motion on the micro scale. I was thinking tonight when I was reading this, it might have something to do with of entropy, order.
It may be a measure of order like when something becomes heated, it becomes disordered. Like when water boils, becomes steam and the molecules crazy, know. It starts flying out. But if you remove that heat, as it cools down, it becomes more and more structured in order. It becomes a solid.
I think this might have something to do with this principle of fire element. I’m just sharing my thoughts about that. Then there’s the principle of the wind energy element, which is essentially the principle of motility, movement in space. Something maybe like vibration, but movement, that’s mainly what we’re talking about. So these elements in various combinations constitute or involve the gross body.
Our body is constituted of these four elements or four principles. All of the body of flesh, blood, bone, in turn serves as the basis or support for coarse consciousness. And we’re going try to see that the material level is the cooperative condition for the mind. That the material level on various levels of subtlety acts as a support for various levels of consciousness, various subtleties of mind. Because this is quite important in describing the death process and how it operates, it also gives us some insight.
If we can begin to see this possibility of this death evolution, then the notion of rebirth, the notion that something continues on after death becomes more and more plausible. And it starts to become reasonable too. So there are various subtleties of body which serve as for various subtleties of consciousness. On the gross level there is the body of flesh, bone, blood, organs. This is the coarse body.
There is a more subtle body called subtle body which is constituted of channels, nervous system, wind energy and drops, creative drops. So this subtle body is constituted of channels, subtle energy and drops. I think the drops are probably hormones. Have a sense. We receive a white creative drop from our father and a red creative drop from our mother and these reside.
The red creative drop resides at our forehead somewhere near the pineal gland I think. I think and the white drop resides behind the navel area during the course of our life. But anyway, I think they may have something to do with hormones. Anyway, they’re called creative drops. So this subtle body, this body of channels, wind energies and drops serves as a support for subtle consciousness.
And then there is a very subtle body which is made up of a very subtle fundamental wind energy which serves as the basis for the very subtle consciousness, the mind of clear light. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that term. The most subtle consciousness is termed the mind of clear light. So the coarse consciousness are mainly made up of the sense consciousnesses. Sense consciousnesses are eye, ear, nose, tongue, body.
The eye consciousness sees shapes and colors. Ear consciousness hears sounds, nose, smells. These are the coarse consciousnesses. The subtle body is support for subtle consciousnesses. Subtle consciousness, there is a group of conceptions called the Eighty Indicative Conceptions.
I’ll mention them. They’re listed if you’re interested. You know like compassion, ignorance, a long list of eighty. So mainly we’re talking about the conceptual consciousnesses are slightly subtler than sense consciousnesses and they are supported by subtle body. Then the mind of clear light, this most subtle consciousness is supported by the most subtle wind energy.
The way to appreciate the analogy of the subtlety of these consciousnesses is that the coarse consciousness is analogous to waking consciousness. This is just by way of analogy. Is analogous to waking consciousness. The subtle consciousness is analogous to dream consciousness. Most subtle consciousness is analogous to deep sleep consciousness during deep sleep when there is no dream.
Just to give you an idea of the movement toward more subtle layers of consciousness, waking consciousness, dream consciousness and deep sleep consciousness. Just a rough approximation. So in ordinary waking life the very subtle consciousnesses are inoperative. They’re not manifest. I’ll read you a quote.
Tibetan Buddhist contemplatives assert that during the death process, the various forms of vital energy in the body retract into the very subtle life-sustaining energy. During the same process, the five forms of sensory awareness as well as one conceptualizing faculties retract into the very subtle consciousness. At the very final clear light stage of death process, this very subtle energy and non conceptual awareness remain. And when they depart from the body, death occurs. This subtle continuum of vital energy and consciousness can never be destroyed nor can the two ever be separated.
Indeed, it may be more accurate to think of these as a single entity and the continuum bearing physical and cognitive attributes. It is at this level that the duality of physical and mental events disappears. So During the death process what is going occur is that the coarse elements, the coarse body is going to lose its ability to support consciousness. One way of how consciousness and the body relate is by way of analogy is like a horse and a rider. The consciousness is the rider and the body is the horse because the consciousness has a cognitive function.
It is able to know objects. The wind energy element or the body is able to, has the potentiality of motility, is able to move toward objects. So together they can move to any object and know it. Another analogy is like the consciousness is compared to a person with eyes but no legs and the energy element is compared to a person with no eyes but with legs. So as if the consciousness rides upon the shoulders of the wind energy.
So there is always this combination. There is an entity which has both a cognitive function that is able to know and the function of motility. This is in the most subtle form is what goes on to future existences. These two together, this combination of body and mind in its most subtle form. There are these various levels of consciousness, coarse, subtle and extremely subtle and they correspondingly rely on their respective levels of body.
Once the coarse body is no longer able to support consciousness, coarse consciousness can no longer arise. So as the elements begin to dissolve, that is to say the various principles such as the earth element which supports the physical structure of the body, the water element. Once they begin to lose their ability to support consciousness, then those consciousness which depend upon that level of body lose their function. That is to say the sense consciousness begins to lose their potential. The sense consciousness is no longer able to function.
You can no longer see, you can no longer hear, you can no longer smell as you begin to approach death. This is a gradual dying away process. Then finally, once this gross consciousness has ceased, then there begins the dissolution, the inability of the subtle body to support subtle consciousnesses. Once the wind, the subtle wind energy, the channels and the drops are no longer able to support subtle consciousnesses, that is to say these eighty indicative conceptions, then conceptuality becomes impossible because there is no cooperative cause. There is no base for conceptuality to exist.
So the mind loses its ability to think. All concepts begin to cease of themselves. What left and what is irreducible is this combination of very subtle wind energy and subtle mind. And this is what is going to continue on to the future existence. But the important thing in this process is amongst these eighty indicative conceptions, that is amongst these conceptions, amongst them is ignorance or misknowledge.
Misknowledge means a distorted pattern of thought which obscures the realization of the ultimate nature of reality. The function of ignorance is that it prevents us, it inhibits us, it’s like a veil which prevents us from knowing the way things are, the nature of the self, the nature of all objects, the way they ultimately exist. It is the root of all our neurotic compulsive patterns. It is what prevents us from actualizing our fullest potential. It’s a factor of ignorance.
It is a conceptual consciousness, just like compassion is a conceptual consciousness, just like hatred is, just like faith is. There are a variety of eighty conceptual consciousnesses which depend upon for their manifest expression upon one level of body. If that body loses its ability to support conceptual consciousnesses, then the conceptual consciousness will cease of themselves. Now what does that mean? What is the significance of that occurring?
It is because ignorance acts as an inhibitor of our understanding of the ultimate nature of reality that we cannot understand it, that we continue to generate afflictive emotions. By afflictive emotions, emotions such as desire, hatred, spite, jealousy, all these afflictive emotions have as their foundation ignorance. The only thing which is able to remove ignorance is the wisdom understanding selflessness, emptiness. What stops us from understanding selflessness? It is ignorance.
At the moment of our death, quite naturally ignorance ceases of itself when the subtle body ceases to act as a support. That is the dawning of a clear light. Now the advanced practitioner who has trained themselves during the course of their life, knowing that this moment is coming, is aware, does not become confused, maintains mindfulness of what is happening. They begin to meditate on emptiness at this moment, begin to meditate on selflessness during this death process. Then there comes a point when ignorance of itself ceases.
Therefore there is no obstruction, there is no veils to understanding emptiness and one can gain complete direct insight into emptiness at that moment, readily. And one can achieve awakening at that moment. This is the clear light of death. But this happens to everyone. This sequence that I’m going to describe, I’m going to go through, happens quite naturally to everyone during the course of the death.
But for most of us, we experience it without awareness. It’s just a total state of confusion. The practitioner who is trying to train for this moment, but not only trying to train for this particular moment, the moment of death, but tries to induce it during the course of his life or her life in meditation. Tries to mimic the actual death process in order to activate his mind of clear light, in order to take advantage of that moment when ignorance is no longer operated. And therefore they are able to understand emptiness directly.
So essentially death is the separation of this very subtle energy consciousness combination from the coarser body. There is a cosmic bond just like between atoms forming molecules. Is some kind of bonding energy. And there is a bonding energy which maintains a relationship between the subtle most consciousness, the combination with the subtle most energy, this entity and the coarser levels of body. This subtle body, coarser body.
And so that is the breaking, the severing, more of a dissolving because the processes which are maintaining this bond cease. They weaken and finally finish and there occurs a severance and mind body combination in terms of the subtle energy and subtle consciousness which have our unique evolutionary history encoded just like a DNA molecule has that all the information encoded within it upon this subtle consciousness is encoded our entire evolutionary history. And so it’s very unique to us and this is what will proceed on to future existence. This delinking process from a very coarse to more subtle and finally to the most subtle levels of connection. It doesn’t happen all of a sudden.
There’s a very definite sequence which occurs. So the physiology of death revolves around the changes in the elements, especially the wind energy elements, the channels and the drops. Psychologically due to the fact that consciousness is of varying coarseness and subtlety dependent upon the element and wind energies like a mountain as I described it, like a rider and its horse. There is what’s called a dissolving process or sometimes called sinking. For example, it is said that the earth element dissolves into the water element.
The water element dissolves into the fire element. The fire element dissolves into the wind energy element. There is a sequence of dissolution, what is called dissolution or sinking. What they are saying is that the ability of the earth principle, that is to say that which maintains structure, the solidity factor, is losing its potency. It is no longer able to support that level of consciousness.
And as it does, then that level of consciousness which is being supported by water element becomes more significant. Then that level, that water element, that is to say that principle which maintains cohesiveness, which binding force begins to lose its potency. Then that level of consciousness which is being supported by that element begins to become dormant. It’s no longer able to find expression. It dissolves away and the consciousness which is being supported by the fire element becomes more significant.
So there is this physiological process of dissolution, what is called dissolution. Because these varying levels of consciousness are coming into significance, There is an inner experience which accompanies this physiological process. So there’s a physiological process occurring accompanied with a psychological process during the sequence. And that’s what we’re going to, describe it very roughly. I’ll just go through.
It’s a very good description, I’m just going to read it and maybe I’ll explain it as we go along. So we’re going to go through an eight step process beginning with the coarse physical supports, material supports becoming more subtle, more subtle, more subtle, moving to get to three steps which occur only in terms of subtle energies. There are the course elements, earth, water, fire, wind energy element, sometimes referred to as air element. These are coarse. These will support coarse consciousnesses, sense consciousness, I.
eye, ear, nose, tongue, body consciousnesses. These begin to lose their potency. The consciousness which depend upon each of these loses their ability to function and so we end up with this intermediate state of three steps of subtle energy. These have varying degrees of subtlety. These begin to lose their potency to support consciousnesses.
The types of consciousness which they support are the conceptual consciousnesses. These are slightly subtler than sense consciousness. So they lose their ability to function and the consciousness which depend upon them lose their ability to operate. Finally we’re left with the most subtle energy that supports the most subtle consciousness. So it’s a gradual delinking process.
When we take rebirth, this entire process is reversed operation. Just the opposite occurs. So we begin with the earth element. As the earth element of our body deteriorates and the water element seems to grow stronger, our mind is filled with hallucinations of shimmering silver blue mirage. Do you find this interesting?
We are going through? So there is the physiological process which is occurring and there is an internal psychological experience that the dying person visions which are occurring to the dying person. So the earth element, that is to say that which maintains structure, is losing its ability to support consciousness. So the water element and that consciousness which is being supported by it become more significant. And due to that there is an internal vision which arises.
As the earth element of our body deteriorates and the water element seems to grow stronger, our mind is filled with the hallucination of a shimmering silver blue mirage. You know like you’re driving along and you see a mirage of water along the road, something like that. As we feel trapped, there’s also these experiences. We feel trapped and suffocated as if our body were buried in the earth or caught in an avalanche. Then the water element sinks into the fire element, so now the water element is losing its ability to support consciousness.
The water element sinks into the fire element and a vision of swirling smoke appears. As this is happening, we may feel as if we are drowning or being carried away by a violent current of water. Next the fire element dissolves and our body gradually grows colder and we perceive a vision like that of a spark dancing over an open fire at night. During this process some dying people cry out thinking that their body is being consumed by flames. Finally the wind or air element dissolves, our breathing grows shallow and we may feel that we are being blown about like a leaf in the wind.
Along with this we experience the vision of a dying flame in a darkened room. As is the case when a candle is about to go out and the flame suddenly grows brighter as if exploding in a final burst of energy, our breathing which has been getting more and more difficult now comes to a complete halt. To the outside world we now seem to be dead and this is often the signal for those gathered around us to burst into tears. But we are not dead yet. The four gross elements and the conceptual minds associated with them have ceased to function, but there remains levels of consciousness still to be absorbed.
This happens as a subtle white drop received from our Father and located during our life at the crown of our head. And the red drop received from our mother located at our navel come toward each other. So when the gross elements have all dissolved, then it begins the process of this white drop and red drop. They begin to move toward each other. They’re going to move toward each other.
As the white drop descends, we perceive a vision of empty space pervaded by whiteness. You know, sometimes like a full moon. The space, there’s a vast space, but it’s pervaded by the light of a brilliant white moon, a depthless whiteness. And as the red drop rises, we perceive a similar vision of an empty space, this time pervaded by redness. Finally, the two drops meet forming a sphere enclosing our very subtle fundamental consciousness and its associated wind at our heart.
We experience the blackness, a complete darkened room. This darkness becomes blacker and blacker until we eventually fall into total unconsciousness. But still we are not dead. So there has been this three step dissolution. These three visions appear, the white vision, the red vision, the black vision.
The white vision rising as the white drop, this creative drop begins to descend. The red drop begins to ascend and they enclose a very subtle consciousness which resides at the heart area. By enclosing it, we experience the black vision. Within the sphere of heart center resides a very subtle consciousness and is associated subtle energy wind. After some time, which can be as long as three days, even for an untrained person, this sphere opens and our mind is illuminated.
The very subtle mind awakens and nothing appears to it but the vision of empty space, clear and luminous. This clear light consciousness is the last and most subtle of all the states of mind experienced during this lifetime. This is the clear light of death. This is what the advanced practitioner is trying to mimic during the course of meditation, trying to actually induce this state or not having been able to do that, they prepare for this moment over the course of life when it occurs quite naturally at the time of death. It is at this moment when there is no ignorance operative, there is no conceptual consciousness which acts as an obscuration and one can, if one is able to at this moment meditate on emptiness without any obstacle and realize emptiness and achieve awakening at this moment.
Great masters can stay in this state for extended periods of time. I know Ling Rinpoche, who was the senior tutor to the Dalai Lama, he died about maybe eight years ago. He stayed in this state for thirteen days. He was sitting upright in meditation and remained in this clear light for thirteen days. For an ordinary person, all these absorptions from the appearance of mirage like vision to the dawning of the clear light are uncontrolled.
They happen one after another, but we are barely conscious of them. Our mind is too confused and distracted. But those who have trained themselves well beforehand maintain clear awareness of everything that is happening during this process. They know which vision will come next and understand that everything that they are perceiving is merely an appearance to their dying mind, empty of all inherent self existence as something truly out there. Because of this understanding they are not frightened by what they see.
Instead, as their mind grows more and more subtle, their awareness of the emptiness of true existence becomes more and more penetrating. Finally with the arrival of the clear light, this very subtle mind mixes indistinguishably emptiness in an experience of inexpressible bliss. For such a person, death has become the precious opportunity for perfecting the wisdom of non duality. By means of this clear and unobstructed wisdom, the trained practitioner has transformed the ordinary death process into the enlightened dharmakaya experience. And we’ll go on, just a little bit more.
Are you dying for a break? But okay, this is great for the advanced practitioner. A lot about us, us ordinary people. What can we do at the time of our death? And for us, we can make use of what is called the practice of the five forces at the time of our death.
The first of the five forces is called the force of white seed, the force of white seed. So when we realize beforehand that we’re approaching our death, it could be a matter of weeks or even months before we know that we are going to die if we are dying of some diseases. It’s foreseen, it’s not an accidental death. Then we can prepare ourselves by giving away our possessions, you know, providing provisions for our family, settling all our accounts, beginning to give up all those things which our mind may be attached to at the time of death. So beginning to let go, beginning this process.
It’s very important that we approach this process of letting go beginning on the very gross level. You know there could be any even trifling things we may try to hold on to at the moment of our death which will cause us a great deal of trouble in experiencing a peaceful death, dying with dignity. There’s a story about one old dying monk. The Tibetan monks, drink, they like butter tea quite a lot. And this one old monk, loved butter tea and he used to drink out of this old battered wooden bowl.
And he associated his liking for butter tea with this old battered wooden bowl and he was dying, but he was having a hard time with it. He just couldn’t let go of that old wooden bowl and his teacher who had some idea what was going on came to him and he said, Oh, know that bowl, can I have that bowl? And before the monk could answer it he said, Oh, and by the way, you know where you’re going, they have much better tea than they do here. And he let go. Some way to help people to let go and helping yourself to let go.
So beginning by starting to let go by giving away. And the second force is the force of aspiring prayer. We can make various offerings at the time as death approaches and we’re coming near at the time of our death making offerings to traditionally it’s termed the Buddhadharma and the spiritual community. Making offerings to spiritual teachers, making offerings to Buddha house or whatever. And making prayers of aspiration.
We’re trying to give the mind some sort of direction, creating some kind of movement or force for the mind to travel towards. There’s a very beautiful prayer. It’s making strong prayers of what you want to experience. Now and at all times throughout my death, the intermediate stage, the next and all subsequent rebirths, bless me never to be part from the spiritual practice. May I always be guided by true spiritual teachers who repeatedly lead me to generate the awakening heart.
So these powerful prayers of aspiration, what you would like to experience. Giving your mind some kind of direction, some kind of force, the force of aspiration, inspiring prayers. The third force is the force of purification. This involves reviewing your life and considering all of the unskillful actions that you may have created over the course of your life and acknowledging these as mistakes and developing a sincere sense of regret with respect to them. Made some mistakes along the way for various reasons.
It has nothing to do with guilt, but simply a sense of regret. Acknowledging those mistakes as mistakes and generating this sincere sense of regret. Some kind of I wish that I wish I hadn’t done that. That’s all. The force of purification.
And the fourth force is the force of dedication. So as the actual signs of death begin to approach, sincerely dedicating all your possession, all your creative energy, even your body, everything and anything that you might have any subtle attachment for, letting go of it, dedicating it to the benefit of all sentient beings. I give it all, whatever it is. Anything which is connected to me, I give it all away toward others. Really trying to let go or whatever.
It’s all finished. It’s all gone. You’ve given it all away. There’s nothing left over. And then the fifth force is called the force of familiarity.
We try to generate at the moment of our death an awakening heart, developing some kind of love, some kind of compassion, some kind of it’s important to die within a positive state of mind. Traditionally it’s said that we should lie on our right side cradling our cheek with our right hand, blocking the right nostril with the little finger, the ring finger and place the left hand along the side of the body. And if you have practiced you can begin to make use of the practice of giving and taking which we are going to discuss in the future. This is a meditative practice where you visualize imaginatively taking on the suffering of others and giving away your happiness. So with each breath, you’re taking on suffering and giving away happiness.
And this is the way you try to die, with this attitude. You know to die in such a way as to die with awareness, die with dignity and peace. And there could be no doubt that if one were to die in this way with that attitude in mind, that you’ve created the conditions necessary to gain the type of rebirth where you’ll be able to carry on your spiritual practice in the future. Maybe just a few words and then we’ll stop. Talking about other people dying other than yourself.
Just as we ourselves have to be able to let go, accepting change, accepting impermanence, we can begin to accept death. Discontinuity is simply a part of a larger pattern and this helps us have the confidence to let go. So in helping somebody else to die, we have to help them to let go. And help them to feel that not dying empty handed, that somehow their life was worthwhile. That they shouldn’t have any regret about their life, that their life had meaning, had some value, that it’s okay to move on.
You know rather than arming yourself with all kinds of knowledge when you go to see a dying person rather than thinking, know, coming across with all of these jargon. Everybody has to die. The time of death is uncertain. The only thing which is going to help you at the time of death is how you’ve developed your mind. Or now first you’re going to experience denial, then you’re going to experience anger, then you’ll start bargaining, then you’ll get depressed and then finally you’ll accept it.
So just get on with it. We just have to be genuine, trying to be yourself. Relating to that person’s being beneath all the superficial aspects, I think that’s the most important. Somehow we have to create some kind of opening, some kind of connection, some kind of communication. Then your knowledge will come naturally.
It will come at the right time. There will be some kind of connected fundamentally. You’ll be able to connect skillfully. You know just kind of hanging out with that person and reminiscing about old times together. You know the good times and the bad times.
Trying to create a loving atmosphere. And to be a good listener to allow that person to talk. Have to help them to express maybe some suppressed emotion, to share in their pain, their fears and being aware of the commonality of our suffering and fears helps people to endure their pain and helps them to develop compassion. Know, trying to comfort people in small ways, you know, adjusting their pillow, wiping their forehead, holding their hand. You know, we have to be careful you don’t impose your kindness upon them.
You know, the way you do things is as important as what you do. And, you know, allow this person to take care of unfinished business. This person has to catch a train. There’s no choice. And in a sense that maybe they haven’t packed everything, that they’re leaving something behind.
Assuring them that it’s okay, that they have everything, there’s nothing left undone.