Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this guided meditation on kindness, teacher Valham walks practitioners through cultivating bodhicitta, the enlightened intention to benefit all beings. The session begins with visualization of Śākyamūni Buddha, establishing a sense of connection to his omniscient compassion. From there, Valham guides reflection on the kindness of parents and, more broadly, the continuous invisible support of all sentient beings—every food, possession, education, and moment of wellbeing depends entirely on others’ effort. Through this contemplation, practitioners awaken genuine affection and closeness toward all beings. The teaching culminates in examining self-cherishing: how prioritizing one’s own happiness over others’ welfare creates suffering and binds us to saṃsāra, while turning that cherishing toward others opens the path to liberation and lasting peace. Pitched at practitioners working with foundational Mahāyāna teachings on compassion and bodhicitta.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 07 Kindness.mp3
UUID: 737b4092-7878-4f10-a111-78eb4d577217
Teacher: Valham
Collection: Guided LR Meditation (Valham)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Words: ~2,334
And now as a preliminary, The moment you close your eyes, let the great guru, Śākyamūni Buddha, appear in front of you. And without expecting any kind of clear image, work with whatever appears. Usually, all of us have a glimmer image of Buddha, outlines. Just that famous outline of the full lotus posture, seated within an aura of radiating light on top of a lotus sun and moon disc.
Even if you think Buddha is draped in saffron robes of a monk, you add some, you know, color to your visualization. It comes a little bit more clear. Then focus on the face. Very gently smiling face, half in concentration, half communicating with the outside world. Eyes always a little bit open, gazing.
Then you try to focus on the blue black hair and how the curls turn to the right, the top knot, all symbolic of Buddha’s pure morality. And then right hand on his right knee touching the earth, in the earth-touching mudra. And left hand holding the begging bowl filled with the universal nectar, curing all kinds of physical and mental problems. So also when you think of Buddha, remember that Buddha was not always a Buddha. In previous lifetimes, starting out just like us, mind filled with confusion, negativities, and yearning and longing and seeking a definite solution to human problems.
So Śākyamūni Buddha before generated bodhicitta for the first time in a hell realm when he was an ordinary being suffering in hell. Because of certain experiences, generated a heartfelt compassion. And from then on, in every lifetime, he practiced bodhicitta for three countless great eons, such an immeasurable long time. To fully purify his mind and completely develop the inner qualities, to become a fully awakened Buddha. Perfect, you see, teacher, a valid person, totally reliable.
So when you think of Buddha, both with a sense of admiration and with an understanding and deep feeling of compassion that exists in the omniscient mind. So it’s total compassion. And as you do breathing meditation, imagine inhaling those kinds of qualities to develop them within ourselves. Exhale your own sense of limitation, the different negative states of mind that suffocates us, that holds us back, that makes us feel limited, incapable. All this, put on the out breath.
Exhale it and let it go. Again, inhale the qualities of Buddha in the form of light. Hold it. Exhale negativities in the form of darkness. So now from the first step of cultivating equanimity and even an equally open attitude towards all living beings because of seeing their potential, focusing more on their potential than on their temporary appearance to our ego grasping.
Seeing that from their side, no matter how they appear to my mind, from their side, are equal. We are completely equal. So that’s like laying the foundation for bodhicitta. Then the first course of actually generating bodhicitta, and that is recognizing the kindness, is like cultivating affection for others. Seeing others not only as equal, but as incredibly kind and beautiful, you know.
Beautiful just by their nature. So sometimes, not always, but for most of us, it is easier to start thinking about the kindness of others by remembering the kindness of our parents. You know, no no matter what we think of our parents, they gave us this human life. And also, they took care of it, nourished it, protected it, helped it develop well, so that we are healthy and strong. All of that totally depended on our parents.
It’s like when we were children, we were busy trying to destroy ourselves, and in our parents, we’re busy trying to protect us. So because of their kindness, awareness, mindfulness, we are still alive today. So think back at those days that you don’t even remember, but you can infer how it was, how much effort, how many sleepless nights they spent for us. Also remember, most of our parents have a continuous sense of responsibility for us, feeling always that, you know, we are their baby. When you remember that kindness, you will feel about them that they are beautiful.
You feel them inside your heart with much affection. So for the first couple of minutes, let’s recollect. And what you don’t remember, you know, you think about the first three years of your life, who took care of you? You would not have been able to survive at all if these people didn’t take care of you in a dedicated way. So that is their kindness to us, an irreparable kindness, the kindness of life.
Now also, you know, not only have other living beings been our parents taking care of us, but throughout our life, other living beings are constantly kind to us. We know all of our pleasures, happiness, everything that we enjoy in life, everything that we use, that we enjoy, including every single thing, every bit of food and drink, all the clothes, entertainment, love and affection, communications, travels, transportation, whatever you can think of. If you investigate, you find it all comes by depending on others. No matter what other people’s attitude is towards us, they are constantly benefiting us like a benefactor, always taking care of us, providing everything for us. So it’s a kindness that we cannot survive without.
And focusing on it is just that because usually we take this kindness for granted. We don’t think every time we we eat our food about the incredible hard work of so many people, and even the pain and destruction of so many creatures, homes, and places where they live has to be destroyed. Not to talk about, of course, if we eat meat, even enjoying the bodies of others. You see, they offer us their body to enjoy. And there is nothing at all that we enjoy that doesn’t come from others.
So if we focus on it, we will realize it. We will feel that incredible support. It’s like the whole world is taking care just of us. The same you think about medical care, education, even dharma. It all all that wisdom, all that knowledge, all that understanding depends on others or comes directly from others.
So this time you think about it in detail. To awaken that feeling of closeness to others, they are so kind, so helpful. Remembering their kindness, we feel friendly, you know, towards them, affectionate, and so very, very close. So try to awaken this feeling within you, just focusing on everything they do, every single day of our life, from day one until we die. We are cared for by others.
And we never get to thank them, but they’re all around us. As a conclusion, let’s think, you know, just like we usually wish to repay, even just a kind gesture by somebody. You know, how about the continuous kindness of sentient beings who have supported us since beginningless time? You know, in fact, when we think we have taken countless human lives, so we must have had countless mothers and fathers. That means that every living being has been our kind mother father, protecting us, caring for us, nurturing us, worrying about us, being anxious about us.
We’ve had that intimate relationship with every living being. Then also on top of that, when they were not our mother and father, they helped us in so many other countless ways. So thinking or wishing to repay this kindness, one can wonder, you know, what sentient beings need from me? Just like if you want to offer something to somebody, you think, what they need? What can I give that they need?
If we think in the same way, what can we give sentient beings that they need? And what they need is happiness. That’s what they all want. They want true lasting happiness, you know, just like ourselves. To be able to offer sentient beings the real happiness, lasting happiness, we want to become Buddha.
Only Buddhas can guide sentient beings perfectly and bring about lasting happiness and peace. So with great faith in Śākyamūni Buddha, Seated in front of you, imagine that he melts into light. Come straight into your forehead and merges with your own mind, and think for a moment. Your mind and Buddha’s omniscient compassionate mind has become completely oneness. Then think with strong determination.
By these merits, may we all become Buddha, completely perfect enlightened Buddhas in order to repay the kindness of universal living beings. Think that in our experience with bodhicitta,, with developing bodhicitta, you know, we have seen that if we think more deeply, we find that we are all equal in being each other’s friend, enemy, and stranger, and that there is a basic and fundamental equality and sameness between us. Also, have seen that on top of that, all universal living beings have been kind to us, you know, helpful to us, and not only once or twice, but continuously throughout our life, others benefit us. So it becomes very easy to feel positive, to feel kind, and wishing to repay, you know, their kindness to us, wishing to do something. But as long as in our mind, we harbor the self-cherishing thought, we will always feel that somehow, for some reason, my happiness is more important than others.
So instead of repaying the kindness of others, we find ourselves creating disharmony, hurting and harming, creating confusion and conflicts. And when we think about it, we can see that we have been doing this, cherishing ourselves more than others, you know, since beginningless time. And that’s why we are still enmeshed in samsaric problems and sufferings. Even thinking, you know, subconsciously maybe, that we are the most important person in the world. So everything revolves around I, me, and my happiness.
And we forget about the importance or repaying the kindness of others. And unless we change this attitude, completely turn it around. And the cherishing mind is the same, but instead of cherishing oneself, being concerned with one’s own happiness, and turning it around hundred percent, cherishing others. Putting the same energy of cherishing into others. In other words, instead of putting oneself as number one first, put others first, oneself secondary.
In this way, we can purify the self-cherishing thought that has held, you know, kind mother sentient beings as enemies, made us harm others, and create so many negative karmas for ourselves that we are still unable to cope with. I find it very clear when we when you think about the negative actions, like killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, if you look at why why we harm others in this way, why we kill other living beings, why we steal or cheat or engage in sexual misconduct, That is because of the self-cherishing thought. Thinking, my happiness is more important. My life, my comfort is more important, so I kill others. My happiness is more important, so I steal from others.
Or I cheat others, and my pleasure is more important, so I engage in sexual misconduct. You can see all that confusion, you see, creating the cause of suffering. It all comes from the self-cherishing thought. That’s how the self-cherishing thought doesn’t allow us to practice Dharma. self-cherishing thought does not allow us to create virtuous actions.
It doesn’t give us space to meditate. No way we can enter the Mahāyāna path. We have no access to the path to liberation because of all the obstacles in the mind created by the self-cherishing thought. There is not even possible to experience happiness in saṃsāra, you know, not even one day of happiness with a self-cherishing thought in our heart. It’s like a demon destroying every virtue.
So think about this. Try to recognize your own self-cherishing thought and how destructive it is in your life. You can see that the more we check, what happens when we cherish ourselves is that all the mistakes in life follows. So much so that if we want to find if we want to point out an enemy, a real enemy, the source of all the mistakes and faults and problems, it comes down to the one thing, the self-cherishing conception, the self-cherishing thought. This we have to remove from our life or transform.
The moment we turn it around and cherish others, putting others first, all virtue, you know, all happiness flows into our life. It’s like opening a dam of bliss. All actions become virtues. When we cherish others, we don’t kill, We consider very carefully. When we cherish others, we don’t want to harm others with harsh words.
When we cherish others, we don’t even want to waste other’s time with meaningless conversations. You know, when we cherish others, we don’t want to cheat, steal. So you see, focusing on others’ welfare, our mind becomes virtuous. When we focus on our own comforts, well-being, our mind becomes negative. So what’s the point of keeping the self-cherishing in the heart?
But it’s only the cause of so many faults. The self-cherishing maybe it means well, but the result is disaster. Endless saṃsāra. You know, saṃsāra becomes endless with the self-cherishing thought. As long as we let the self-cherishing thought decide how to live our life, we will remain in saṃsāra forever.
There is no end to saṃsāra. Whereas when we turn it around and begin to cherish others, We start the pathway out of saṃsāra. Bypass nirvana and go to the everlasting peace of full awakening. So as a dedication, let’s think. May we develop the courage to leave behind the self-cherishing thought and make effort in cherishing others.
And in this way, we learn to take the full advantage of having our precious human life, fulfilling the wishes, you know, of both ourselves and others. Think to yourself, there couldn’t be anything more useful or valuable. There couldn’t be any greater way to repay the kindness of all universal living beings.