Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Teacher Valham guides practitioners through a guided meditation practice that begins with self-directed tonglen (taking and sending) to heal one’s own inner divisions. Before the formal practice, she establishes the deeper context: recognizing that liberation is a gradual path requiring continuous effort, while daily suffering—loneliness, depression, confusion—requires immediate tools. The core technique divides the self into two halves: a positive side of strength, wisdom, and compassion, and a weak side of affliction and self-pity. Through synchronized breathing, practitioners inhale their negativities and suffering into the positive side where they dissolve like darkness meeting light, then exhale kindness and luminosity back into the dark side until the division dissolves into unified wholeness. After this inner work reaches completion, the meditation expands outward: visualizing the Buddha, confessing negative actions, receiving purification through nectar light, absorbing the Buddha’s mind, and finally radiating blessings to all living beings. The practice is pitched at serious meditators already familiar with Buddhist visualization and bodhisattva aspiration.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 05 Self Tonglen.mp3
UUID: 185098b4-cd85-4583-9d9a-da58605be5cd
Teacher: Valham
Collection: Guided LR Meditation (Valham)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Words: ~1,882
So take a couple deep breaths and relax your body and mind. Keeping your back straight, but relaxed. And we can think to ourselves that generating your renunciation of samsaric suffering and wishing to embark on the path to liberation is probably, you know, one of the most meaningful things that we can do with our life. But it’s also a lifetime job. It’s not something that we can achieve right away.
You know, we can’t overcome our sufferings right away. It’s something to work on very, very slowly, very organically. And something that we can achieve if we develop continuously, if we keep it going continuously. But then in the meantime, there are many other hardships, problems, you know. Feeling lonely, feelings of loneliness, you know, depression.
Feelings of various kinds of miseries that we have to learn to deal with in daily life until we attain liberation. And it’s very important to understand that we have the means within ourselves to heal ourselves, that we actually have the strength within ourselves, you to overcome our own problems, suffocations. We have that right now. So we need to also to learn how to tap into our strength, courage, tap into our positive mind. You see, to pacify our weaknesses, our limitations.
And feelings of confusion and conflict. So in this session, let’s try to practice something that works more immediately. Or, anyway, it may work more immediately. We can experiment with it. And it starts by recognizing, you see, that within ourselves is like we have two halves of ourselves, two parts to ourselves.
One side of us has certain self confidence, a sense of light, or a sense of compassion, kindness, friendliness, a warmth, you know, a human warmth. Soft and tender, you know, where the soft and tender spot is, and the wish to be friendly, and attract people in a friendly way. This is our inner strength, our human strength. Even there is some wisdom there. The other side of us is the one that feels lonely, misunderstood, you know, weak from dissatisfaction.
It may be have been abused or hurt, and a feeling of never being understood the way we want, or the way we intend or wish. That’s the weak part of us. We all have these two kind of you can call it a and b if you like, left and right side or whatever you call it. So in this practice, first, it’s very important to recognize your own weaknesses. You know, always related to certain delusions.
Or your your own forms of self pity, you know, self pity mind. At the same time at the same time as being aware of your own afflictions. You take a firm stand in the positive side of yourself. Think that you are the essence of you is your inner strength, your wisdom, your caring mind. So you stand on that side.
You put your main emphasis on that side. And then you look at your weak side with a feeling of compassion, empathy for yourself. Not looking down at your own shortcomings, but with much acceptance, you know. Then, and this is a breathing meditation. So when you inhale, you imagine that you unburden yourself or you inhale all your weaknesses, and it comes, you know, like a strong energy, and you dump it all into the positive side of yourself, where it is instantly overwhelmed by light energy.
Like you see, when you turn on the light, when you switch on the light in a dark room, all the shadows go away. The darkness go away. Like that. This darkness doesn’t have a chance in the positive side of you. It just vanishes instantly.
And as you exhale, you take your light, love, kindness, and send it in the form of light into the dark side of you. Becomes more light. Again, take as you inhale, you take more suffocations and release it in the positive side of you. And you can sort of make your body in half. You know, right side is the positive side, left side is the negative side.
Although, it’s nothing fixed. Yeah. As you inhale, you take your negativities, the weaknesses, accept them into your healthy side, and they dissolve. Exhale your light, goodness into your negative side and it brings more light. Every time you take suffering from yourself, you see, your negative side becomes lighter.
When you give light, your negative side again becomes more positive. So you take and you give, you take and you give with every breath. In breath, take, out breath you give. Until you until you feel that that division is extinguished. But you should completely feel a sort of oneness, an overwhelming sense of feeling fulfilled in just one entity of light and energy.
Totally positive. You don’t feel a speck of darkness shadow or weakness or suffocation. When you enter that space, you concentrate. Let go completely and just focus on that warm and, you know, tender gentle feeling inside. Just totally merge with it.
Let it pervade your whole being and heal all the shortcomings. So let’s try to practice it. You know, step by step, first think a bit about your positive and negative side until it becomes clear for you, until it feels clear. Then you start with a breathing meditation with much concentration and just continue. Don’t stop and feel.
You will feel when the sense of unity comes. And we can think as a conclusion and dedication that by these merits that we generate together, may we discover, you know, our inner harmony and our own middle way or our own middle path. In order to become more open minded and clear in our communications with others, in our relationships with other living beings, at the same time as being very confident in our research into the nature of reality, the nature of ourselves, others, and the world around us. And in this way, find both a temporary and, you know, ultimate solution to human problems. So take a couple of breaths and relax your mind and body.
And first of all, let’s focus on universal living beings, especially you put maybe not you’re not used to putting your mother and father close to you like that, But you see, whatever you feel towards your mother and father, or whether they are alive or not alive, bring them near to you without some particular idea or concept about them, just because they are your father and mother. Put your mother on your left side, your father on your right side. Just imagine them seated next to you. Think of your friends and dear ones behind you as a support. And then people you have problems with or that agitate you, put somewhere in front of you.
You know, being the test of our Dharma practice. We know wishing ourselves to offer the fruits of our practice, you see, to these beings particularly. And then you think everybody here in this room, all the people in Nepal, all the beings in Nepal, and from here, in all directions. East, west, south, north, until you have a feeling that the whole earth is covered with universal living beings, and that you keep them all in mind. And then visualize in space in front of us, like a full moon arising in the dark of night.
The radiant Śākyamūni Buddha appears in space in front, at the level of your forehead, seated on a lotus, sun and moon disc, wearing the sapphire robes of a monk, left hand a begging bowl, right hand on his right knee in the earth touching mudra. And Buddha gazes on us and all other living beings with much affection and loving kindness. And for a moment, recognize without hiding your own negativities, whether they were created knowingly or unknowingly or you try to reveal for yourself your own negativities, actions that we have done harming others, even our mother and father, negative thoughts and attitudes that we have kept in our heart towards others. And we can just think in general, all our greed, hatred, and ignorance. And all the imprints created, obscuring our mind, making Dharma practice so difficult.
Even meditating one hour is so difficult, such a hardship. That’s because of so many negative imprints obscuring our mind. So think of these. Reveal them to yourself, and think you don’t want to hide them, you want to purify them. And we need to rely on Buddha, you know, Buddha’s teachings, Sangha, the followers.
Find the right way to purify our mind, to develop our inner qualities. So seeking the guidance of Buddha, our guru Buddha, and with a strong feeling of compassion towards yourself and all other living beings, mothers, fathers, not wishing to continue uncontrollably harming others, Try to generate a heartfelt feeling while you recite the mantra. At the same time, you think much nectar light. Or you can think like this, light rays with nectar drops. Nectar drops flowing like dew on the grass, you know, into your heart, completely purifying our mind.
All the negativities comes out from your lower doors in the form of dirt, dirty water, tar, whatever. Even in the form of snakes and scorpions, you can visualize. Goes into the earth, completely disappears. Let’s recite the mantra for a few minutes. So now focus on your own mind, and think it has become crystal clear.
Your negativities has vanished into the earth, completely disappeared, not to come back again. And then facing the compassionate smiling Buddha, you make a strong determination, even a promise not to repeat negative actions as much as you can, and to become more mindful and aware of your own states of mind. Then think to seal your promise and to bless your mind. The radiant Buddha descends very joyfully to the crown of your head, turning around and facing the same direction as you, Buddha slowly, from the bottom and the top, melts into a sphere of radiant white light. The purity of Buddha’s mind.
And this blissful sphere of light slowly, gently sinks through the crown of your head, instantly illuminating your mind and body. Your body melting into this white radiant light, and your mind unifies with Buddha’s pure omniscient mind. Now focus strongly for a minute on this pure unity, being oneness with Buddha’s omniscient mind. Then think from your heart, a multitude of light rays emanate out with Buddhas on the tip of each ray, descending on the crowns of all the living beings, mother, father, all the universal living beings, unifying with them, purifying their mind. And think that all universal living beings become oneness with Buddha’s pure, omniscient mind.
And let’s dedicate the merit and think that whatever merit and good energy we generated throughout the day, and especially in this meditation session. May we all become Buddhas, and lead all universal living beings into this enlightened state. And may whatever bodhicitta has not yet developed, may develop and grow. Whatever even tiny spark of bodhicitta that goes through our mind, or that stays in our mind. May it never ever decrease, but forever, day by day, grow more and more.