Audio recorded at Tibetan Buddhist Institute, Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Kyabje Rinpoche opens this 54-minute talk with compassion and love as the heart of spiritual practice, then demonstrates their power through everyday examples. He uses the precious-vessel metaphor—human life as a boat crossing the ocean of suffering—before contrasting worldly training with spiritual training, which transforms the mind. His core section anchors on marriage: when husband and wife cultivate mutual trust and caring, harmony radiates outward to community and nations. Crucially, this compassion must be universal—directed equally toward all sentient beings, not just loved ones—and naturally prevents harmful actions. He identifies anger as the great saboteur: even a kind-hearted person loses peace and harmonious relationships the instant anger arises. Accessible to newcomers and serious practitioners alike.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 1989-03-19 – 1A – Public Talk Compassion in Everyday Life – KR.mp3
UUID: ba3949ec-8353-457c-820c-fdc97280a79f
Teacher: Kyabje Rinpoche
Collection: Public Talks
Date: 1989-03-19
Recorded at: Tibetan Buddhist Institute, Adelaide
Words: ~2,858
So if together we can adjust our motivation such that you are listening to this particular teaching on the Dharma, the methods of spiritual progress with an altruistic intention to benefit others, and I myself, for my part, speak and discuss the Dharma with an altruism, that is, with a beneficial intention, then together we can create a great deal of positive potential, a great deal of positive energy, and our action will be extremely skillful. So, from a quotation from the great master Śāntideva, speaking about the various types of sentient beings in this world, various types of creatures which inhabit our world. That amongst all the various varieties that we are extremely fortunate in having attained a human embodiment, that we are all human beings. So if we, by way of analogy, and talking about our human embodiment. It’s as if we have a ship which is crossing a great ocean.
Without depending upon this ship, then there’s no way we can get to the other shore. So our human embodiment, being a human being is very much like that ship. And just as in the case of crossing a great ocean to get to the other shore, it’s necessary to rely on a great vessel, that is a ship. Likewise, crossing the great ocean of our dissatisfactory quality of our present existence, it’s necessary to make use of this human embodiment as a vessel to cross over to happiness. And just as in the case of when we have a good vessel and crossing over to the other shore, it’s quite, quite easily, the journey can be quite easy and likewise in our spiritual pursuits in seeking to find the happiness crossing over our present qualities of dissatisfactory existence, and dependence upon the human embodiment, we can quite easily cross over to that shore of happiness.
So it’s necessary to appreciate the very fact that we are human beings and understanding that it is through such an embodiment that we can go beyond our present dissatisfactory quality of our existence and find the happiness that we’re looking for. And we’re to appreciate the great capacity that we all possess as human beings, we have the ability, that we have the power within us to find the happiness that we’re all looking for, and eliminate the suffering which none of us want. So coming to appreciate the great fortune that we have, the great potential that we have in going beyond the dissatisfactory quality of our existence and finding the happiness that we all seek. But in essence that perhaps we’re confused about the methods of finding happiness, perhaps we don’t know the actual process along the path to happiness, and so it’s necessary to begin the process of training or transforming our mind, and it’s necessary to keep reminding ourselves of our capacity so that we don’t fall asleep, that we don’t waste our time in making use of this quality that we possess. So in order to eliminate our dissatisfaction and find the happiness that we all want, we have to begin the process of transformation.
We have to train our minds. Amongst the various types of trainings that we can involve ourselves in, there’s simply the types of worldly training, secular, and then there’s non secular. There’s the spiritual pursuits of training. In the worldly sense, in the training process that we’ve all gone through, that for example in our schooling, in gaining education, that we began at the very beginning learning the alphabet, and upon familiarization with the alphabet, then we went on, and we learned the grammar, and learning how to read all the various knowledge that we learned along the way, the various aspects of our culture, and finally we trained ourselves, and now we’re comparatively educated people. Having trained ourselves in this way, from an early age, that we’ve developed various skills, various, in our occupations that we are able to take advantage of serving others, that others actually are benefit to others, others appreciate our skills and make use of our services, and it’s a mutually beneficial situation.
So if we become very skillful our occupation, that we become proficient in our profession, then others are quite willingly, others will quite willingly hire us to work for them, and we can enjoy our work, the type of work, and we can, we don’t have to work very hard in our profession, and we get a big salary. So in this way, training ourselves to become proficient in our particular professions, then we can enjoy a lot of material benefits. We can enjoy benefits in general that we, perhaps we can have a very nice house, we can have a good car, we can have stylish stylish clothing, clothing, we we can can have have delicious food, and other people like us. Enjoy being around us. So even in this worldly sense, we can see that training and study is of extremely great importance.
So in this way, even in a worldly sense that training, educating ourselves, study, we benefit not only ourselves, but we also benefit others. Our life has less difficulties and we can find a great deal of material prosperity. So if on the other hand, if we don’t engage in any type of training, any type of educational process, study for example, that we’ll end up unskilled, that it will be difficult for us to get any type of good work which might interest us, that we’ll have to probably perform some types of menial work which we won’t be satisfied with and things will be difficult for us. So understanding that perhaps if we don’t undergo some type of training and various types of study, even in the worldly sense, then we’re going to have to be forced to employ ourselves in menial types of work, dependence upon that, we’re going to have to get along with poor quality, perhaps food, clothing, housing, transportation, perhaps we won’t enjoy our work, and others will not appreciate us for our abilities. So in this way, we can see all the drawbacks from not training ourselves, and pursuing some course of study.
So, but now, perhaps most of that opportunity has passed us, whatever we have mapped out ourselves and with our life, through in our secular training, through our study. Now it becomes more and more difficult to find the time to pursue any type of course of training or study. It’s extremely beneficial now to begin to turn our mind toward a different type of training, that is training in spiritual pursuits. So when we talk about spiritual practice, we generally use the word Dharma. So what does Dharma mean?
Dharma means to, is measured by way of one’s conduct through body, speech, mind. Whether one’s types of conduct are skillful, whether they’re productive, whether they’re beneficial. In this way, whatever types of activities of body, speech, mind improve ourselves and others, are beneficial, are productive, are skillful, then this is a type of Dharma conduct or spiritual practice. We talk about the various types of Dharma, the various types of spiritual practice, these various types of conduct, which are productive, which are skillful, then the essence or the main type of conduct, the main type of practice, spiritual pursuit, is embodied in love and compassion. And it is love and compassion, which are the greatest skillful means, and which is the most productive of all the various activities that we can engage in, in spiritual life.
So, you know, if we talk about what is it within Dharma which is the most beneficial? What is it that is the most help to others and to ourselves? What is it that is most altruistic? What is it that is going to help us not to waste our life, our time? What is it that’s going to help us to advance most quickly, and would be of greatest productivity to ourselves is the qualities of loving compassion.
We can see the direct benefits from such a way, from such a type of quality to train ourselves in, simply in the relationship of a husband and wife. If the husband and the wife have mutual trust, mutual caring, mutual love between one another, then they’re going to have a harmonious, mutually productive, beneficial relationship. So two people have come together due to the power of the results of their karma, the various actions that they’ve created in the past, and now they live together in one single home. If they don’t care for one another, if they don’t trust one another, if they aren’t loving toward one another, then they’re going to drift apart. There’s going to create a distance between them.
Their karma is forcing them to live together, their force of their non caring, non trust is going to force them apart, and this is a very difficult, unharmonious situation which can cause only unhappiness to both the husband and the wife. So within a home, if there’s caring between the parents, the husband and the wife, then there will only be harmony. There will only be fitting together of their purposes in life. There will be no disharmony. If there’s love in that home, then there’s going to be harmony.
There’s going to be no disharmony in that home. And, such a type of home, will only be happiness, and this will be a benefit to even the children who will grow up with positive qualities. And in such a type of atmosphere, it can be completely happy. So this harmony spreads out not just from the home but beginning spread out to the surroundings, to your friends, to the area in which you live in, and to your entire country. This harmony which this type of relationship produces.
This atmosphere of harmony which is being radiated out from one individual’s home spreading out, you know if we can begin to, if people can begin to care about one another, to develop love and trust in one another, then this can not only work between individuals, but it can also work between nations. And in such a situation, a atmosphere of mutual trust, mutual concern for the benefit of others, then we don’t need all these various weapons that we’ve created. We can live without fear and destruction. Peace. So the root or the foundation of all this is love and compassion.
So, what do we mean by compassion? Compassion is the kind heart, which upon seeing someone without happiness, who is being tortured by some type of suffering, there arises the thought, may that sentient being, whoever might be, may they be separated from that suffering. May they not undergo that difficulty. This is compassion.
So, this type of compassion that we’re talking about is simply not directed toward few, a few close, the few that are close to us. All sentient beings without exception want happiness, that no being wants to suffer, and that we’re all very much the same in this regard, and that the type of compassion we’re talking about is directed toward all types of sentient beings equally, and wishing them that they all be separated from any type of suffering. If on the other hand, the type of compassion that we’re trying to develop is biased, that is simply directed toward our loved ones, or those who we are friends with, simply thinking I would like to see them be separated from the suffering, wouldn’t that be wonderful? But my enemies, I’d care less about them. This is not really the type of compassion that we are seeking to develop, but the type of compassion which is directed to all sentient beings equally.
Now, such a type of biased compassion, we could call it, which is simply directed toward those we hold dear, those we hold close, our friends, our children, our spouse. Even such a type of compassion is found amongst those who are not pursuing spiritual path. Those who aren’t even practicing Dharma, or not trying to practice Dharma. They have this type of compassion, wishing their spouse, their children, their friends to be separated from their suffering. Even animals have this type of compassion that a mother, even any type of creature, will seek to eliminate the suffering of its offspring.
So, begin with ourselves as taking ourselves as an example or a basis for illustrating this quality of this not wanting suffering. That you know whenever we experience any dissatisfaction, any difficulty, we don’t like it. We don’t want it. We want to be separated from this, any difficulties, any feelings of dissatisfaction or suffering. Taking this as an example, and extrapolating from ourselves to the situation of others, and understanding that all sentient beings, regardless of their type, regardless of any superficial quality, are exactly like ourselves.
No different. They all want happiness. None of them want to suffer just like ourselves. And developing this quality of our compassion, which is able to observe all sentient beings without, of all the various varieties and types, without any bias, bias and wishing them that they may not suffer. This same quality necessarily applies to the type of love that we’re seeking to develop, and love is the wish that others be happy.
But this type of love is not simply directed toward our children, our spouse, those, our friends. Again, this type of love is even common to those who do not particularly seeking a spiritual path, and it’s even common to those who, to the various, to animals who wish their offspring to have happiness, to what will bring them satisfaction. Those who are seeking a spiritual path, and seeking to develop this, the love in which we’re discussing, it’s necessary to again to observe all sentient beings regardless of any of their superficial qualities, their various varieties and type, and simply understanding that most of these beings aren’t happy, that they could always be happier, that they want happiness, and simply wishing all sentient beings without any qualification, without any bias, may they be happy. So if we can develop such an attitude as love and compassion in this sense that we’re discussing, then toward all sentient beings, then no matter who the person or who the sentient being might be, we’re going to have a harmonious relationship with them. We’re going to have a mutually beneficial relationship with them.
We’re going to have the attitude of caring, the attitude of benefiting them, of seeking to help them. With such an attitude, this caring, this benefiting attitude, then we simply will not engage in the various actions of body, speech and mind, which would cause others harm, which would hurt others. You know, we wouldn’t kill others, we wouldn’t steal from them, we wouldn’t lie to them. And this way through the power of love and compassion, all the various unskillful, unproductive qualities of our activities of body, speech, and mind cease of themselves. With such a type of attitude, then all the various faults, all the various unskilled activities of body, speech and mind begin to cease of themselves, and that in their place are very productive, very skillful activities, and our mind naturally becomes happy, and we have a harmonious, mutually beneficial relationship with others.
But in the meanwhile, one of the great faults of everyone, and especially those who are seeking to practice the Dharma, the spiritual path, is the fault of anger which can arise. So, for those who, you know we could be sitting quite happily, quite peacefully, and for one reason or another, some condition arises and we become angry. And immediately our peace is gone, our happiness of our mind is gone, and in its place is suffering, dissatisfaction. We become red in the face, we become angry, and you know we develop not only unrest, mental dissatisfaction, but it also harms even our physical health. In such a situation, those who are quite prone to anger, life becomes very difficult for them.
May have set before them some kind of delicious food, but an angry person cannot even taste its flavor. You may be very tired, you you can’t sleep. That everyone around you that you have difficulty with, everybody causes you problems it seems. Even your friends cause you nothing but trouble and anger. Even someone who is under, who is usually a very kind hearted someone who is quite well mannered, quite gentle person.
Even for such a type of person who generally has a good disposition, immediately upon becoming angry, then everything goes, everything becomes difficult for them. They no longer able to, they have conflicts with everyone, even the people that they usually care about a great deal, that they aren’t able to exist in a harmonious situation with them, that everyone begins to present problems for them. They immediately begin to speak harsh words toward everyone. And so, it’s sort of, we’re sort of enslaved or taken under the control of anger, even a person who generally has a good disposition.