Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this session on the Six Perfections, teacher Plamo explores three key Buddhist precepts—not taking what is not given, sexual conduct, and right speech—through lived experience and frank social critique. She begins with the precept against theft, using the example of borrowed books and hippie-era attitudes toward property to expose how selfish attachment operates beneath claims of communal values. She then addresses sexual misconduct as one of the most harmful and widespread problems in modern society, grounding her teaching in concrete harms: childhood sexual abuse, disease, unwanted pregnancy, and emotional devastation. Drawing on a prison visit where eighty percent of women inmates had suffered childhood sexual abuse, she frames sexual responsibility as essential protection against abuse and exploitation. Finally, she unpacks right speech—showing how truthfulness without kindness wounds people deeply—and tells a personal anecdote about wounding her mother with a careless remark about a coat to illustrate how words lodge in hearts and reshape lives. Throughout, Plamo emphasises maturity, responsibility, and the direct consequences of our choices on others.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 02 The Six Perfections.mp3
UUID: 168ce42a-830c-4ba8-ae15-b4cbcede44cf
Teacher: Plamo
Collection: The Six Perfections (Plamo)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Words: ~3,170
Who has ever lent a book and waved it goodbye? Probably nowadays it’s videos. I mean, I see people with videos with big announcements saying this video belongs to so and so. So clearly it’s a problem. Having that kind of integrity, that when we borrow something, we return it in as good a condition as we got it.
Right? Why? Because being the beings that we are, we identify ourselves with what we own, and we don’t like it when people take what is ours. And it shows a lack of respect for others. Again, that kind of selfish mind which is only thinking of ourselves and our own benefits and not considering others, this lack of consideration.
You know, during the hippie period, I lived through the hippie period. And there it was very much, you know, everybody’s property is my property, you know, because there’s no such a thing as, you know, private ownership. But what happened I mean, maybe in the early days, there there really was a sense of of free, you know, flowing. Although it was in fact often they took the property which hadn’t been freely given them. But what happened in the end was this attitude of, you know, what you own is mine or what I own is mine too.
And it wasn’t that it made them especially open hearted. They they were very, very you know, they would sit on somebody else’s property, but then it became their property. Right? And when people wanted to evict them, they didn’t say, oh, well, that’s fair enough because everything belongs to everybody. No.
Now it’s mine. Right? And and so this this quality of mind, this grasping quality of mind, we have to be careful. And it comes in this precept about not taking what is not given. Because it is respecting these boundaries.
And therefore, as I say, it deals with this whole question of not harming, that people know that you they and their property are safe in our hands. Right? I mean, it’s, you know, not killing and not stealing, that’s so fundamental to society. It’s so obvious. Then there’s sexual misconduct.
Yeah, so sexual misconduct basically means any kind of sexual activity which could bring harm to the to oneself or to another, whichever other. And I mean, nowadays especially, this is a very relevant question because people are nowadays so sexually extremely irresponsible. And for many years now sex has been used very often as a method for self gratification and with no thought of the consequence or very little thought of the consequences, either the physical or the emotional consequences. But sex is not like, you know, having an ice cream when you’re feeling greedy. It is a dialogue.
It is a relationship even if it’s only a one night stand or less. It involves others. And it is dealing with a very fundamental energy. And the fact that we use this energy, which is such an important energy in in such an irresponsible way, , is a serious thing for society. You know, we are extremely immature when it comes so often to sexual relationships.
We we act like, you know, a bunch of fifteen year olds, even if we’re fifty, even if we’re seventy. We have extremely it’s quite I mean, you know, we’ve all seen it. I mean, look at the politicians. You know? They have so much to lose or or or big celebrities.
You know? They have so much at stake here. And yet, they they act like, you know, school kids. I mean, it’s pathetic. It’s pathetic.
And and it reflects the the state of the real state of their inner maturity and and their sense of responsibility to themselves, to their families, to society. Forget it. I want. So this is what we’re dealing with. We’re dealing with this something which is very powerful and which we really have to be in control in so that it doesn’t take us over.
Because it really is very sad picture when it does. And what we have to ask ourselves is, why are we doing this? Why? And is it just purely because right now I want this gratification? Okay, I mean, that’s fair enough, but we have to ask ourselves if that’s what it’s all about.
And what possible repercussions it could have on ourselves and on others? One’s partner, society, perhaps, you know, it can start unwanted pregnancies. How many abortions? I mean, it’s not like this isn’t a problem anymore. It’s not like we’ve solved all this for contraception.
Because how many abortions are done? And the rampancy of sexually transmitted diseases. It’s a big problem. And not just the physical side, but the emotional side, the blankness that so many people feel. Sex is intended in order for procreation within a responsible relationship.
And any kind of sexual activity which causes any kind of damage in any way to anyone else is not wholesome. It should be within it should be an expression of caring, of loving, not an expression of lust and greed and exploitation. You know, yesterday I went to visit a woman’s prison. There’s a woman’s prison near here, a maximum security prison. And I was told that eighty percent, at least, of the women who come into these prisons had suffered sexual abuse as children.
Much of it, most of it incestuous. So this is not an irrelevant thing here. Our irresponsibility in sexual areas destroys life. These women inwardly were destroyed and consequently later indulged in a lot of very destructive destructive behavior because of their hatred of themselves, because of this abuse in childhood. And so many women that I meet out on the street, not just in prisons, have exactly the same problems.
It’s a rampant problem. And so we must be very careful that our sexual expression is not abusive in any way, is not using the other person for our own pleasure and gratification, but is an expression of genuine caring. Sexual misconduct. Then there is lying. Lying doesn’t just mean telling untruths.
It actually includes all unwholesome speech. Wholesome, skilful speech should be truthful, it should be kind and it should be helpful. There are many people who pride themselves on their blunt speech And they say what’s in their mind. But it’s surprising how often what’s in their mind is something very negative. And in fact this being so honest and truthful and upfront is just a channel, just a vent for the negativity, the anger and the ill will and the jealousy of their mind.
This is not what is meant by not telling lies. And we should be very careful because our speech really, really influences others. You know, we have a saying that sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me. But that’s very idealistic. The Tibetans say that what do they I wish I could remember the beginning.
It’s something about swords can only harm my flesh, but words can tear a man’s heart to pieces. And it’s so true. Even unintentional words. I was brought up during the war. Well, was born in the war.
I was born in the war in forty three. And so I was brought up in London during the postwar years. And so at that time, of course, England was in a state of disaster, and it was extremely poor, and everything was rationed. It’s hard for young people to imagine this, but everything was rationed. Food was rationed.
Everything was rationed. If you wanted to buy a chocolate bar, then you you had to save up your your sweet ration for a while in order to be able to buy one. And not just food was rationed, but clothes were rationed. So if you wanted to buy a new piece of clothing, a new sweater or a skirt or underwear or anything, you had to save up your clothing coupons until you had enough clothing coupons to cover that article. Right?
So we donned, we patched. We were very careful with our clothes, and we didn’t have many. So in this in at this time, my mother I was a little girl, and my mother, she bought herself a new coat. And so because, you know, this was an event, wow, she’d saved up enough coupons that she actually bought herself a coat because she’d be more likely to buy me a coat. Right?
You know, she she was always giving more to the children than the mother does, but for once she indulged herself and she bought herself a coat. And so she put it on and she showed me and she said, what do you think? And I said, makes you look fat. Which it did. It was the truth.
But her face, which had been so happy and delighted, just went and she took the coat off, she put it in the wardrobe, she never wore it again. And so I learned the lesson. Speech should not just be truthful, it should also be kind and helpful. I could have said, oh, that’s nice cloth, or that’s a nice color, or that’s a nice design. That would have been true.
Do you understand? We should be very careful with our speech. We affect people tremendously by what we say, and people remember. Oh, I know. Goodness, people quote back to me things I said years ago, I don’t know how to do that.
People are affected by our speech and therefore we should be very careful. We really are very mindless when we talk. And our speech gets into patterns, especially among people in some kind of relationship, your husbands and wives and so on. Do you ever listen to husbands and wives talk to each other? And especially when they get locked into negative patterns.
Because then you hear it, he says this, she says that, and he says this, and she and escalate. Escalate. Every time the same. I mean, they’re just variations on the same theme. And they don’t even hear it anymore.
I think that we should you know, for for these kind of couples, one should have, like, at least a tape recorder, if not a video camera. And and play it over to them so they can see. So that you can break out of that pattern, these negative speech patterns. Try putting things a different way. You know if you say that you’re going to press his buttons.
So why say it that way? We really have to be very careful, very conscious. We as human beings have this rare gift of communication through speech, but we use it too casually. And we should really be very conscious and aware that we do affect others. We do affect others so deeply by our speech.
Often something one says, you know, in a moment of irritation, you don’t really mean it, but you just, you know, it just comes out. But the person holds it in their heart. They remember, they don’t forget. So we have to be very responsible. It’s also a question not only of not harming, but really of growing up.
The Buddha called unliberated people like us, or some of you might be liberated, children. In English that is sometimes translated as fools, but it’s not actually fools. The actual word is the childish. And that’s what we are, depending on our age. It is irrelevant.
Some children are much wiser than their parents, not always. But this level of childishness is a level also of irresponsibility, and we have to grow up and take responsibility for our lives. A really mature person is a person who is really centered and integrated. And they do what they do knowing what they are doing, and they say what they say knowing what they are saying. And their thoughts are centered, not on themselves, but on others.
Okay, so the fifth precept is the one which you’re all going to love and immediately want to take, which is the precept about alcohol. Why? Why was that put in there? Well, I think any thinking person knows the answer to that. Under the influence of alcohol, our best impulses do not arise.
Our negative impulses arise. When someone gets drunk, they don’t go out and then join Mother Teresa. They go home and beat up their wives and children. Or they get in a car and they drive extremely irresponsibly and crash or run someone over. I mean, the fact of the matter is that most of our social ills are caused by minds which are not in control of the situation, either through alcohol or through drugs.
We have to accept that. It’s true. Alcohol not only destroys our mind, it destroys our bodies. Now I know it is difficult in society for many of you to completely say, okay, I’m going to give up all alcohol. And so one can ask that.
One has to make compromises and say, well, at least try to reduce your intake if you are drinkers and to never get to the point where your mind is seriously affected. At least that much. At least that much. That will benefit yourself and it will benefit those around you and it will benefit society, will benefit all beings. Nothing is more boring than someone who’s drunk.
I mean, they’re they’re not even interesting. You know, they think they’re brilliant. But a person who is sober just thinks, get me out of here, you know, because they are just so tedious. It’s pathetic. It truly is.
And and it’s not natural. It’s not clever. It’s not sophisticated, no matter what media advertising tries to tell us. Of course, the alcohol companies want you to think it’s very sophisticated and groovy. But that’s just their marketing, because they want you to buy their drinks.
And because people who are addicted, addicted to alcohol or smoking or drugs or any of these are slaves. And society wants a populace which is enslaved. You can be enslaved through terror, you can be enslaved from pleasure. But it’s enslavement. You’re not in control.
There is a Tibetan story of, yes, there was this monk who was a hermit, and he was living up in a cave, and he was meditating. And he was taken care of by a lay family in the village below. And so every week the daughter of the house would go up to bring him supplies. And so seeing this nice young monk sitting up there meditating week after week, of course, the girl became very attracted to him. And so one day she went up with his food and she said, look, I’m I’ve just fallen so completely in love with you, you know.
And here we are, we’re alone, no one will ever know. Please, let’s become lovers. And he said, what are you talking about, my dear? I’m a monk. I have vows of celibacy.
It it is unthinkable that we should become lovers. Please go that way. So she goes down, and then the next week she brings up a goat, and she says, look, really I would like that we become lovers, but if not that, at least let’s have some kind of relationship. Look, here’s this goat. We’ll kill the goat and cook it and have a nice party together.
At least it will be something that we’re sharing. Really, have you lost your mind? I’m a monk. I’m a Buddhist. I don’t kill beings.
I mean, what are you talking about? Go away. So she goes down her head again, and she’s very sad. And then the next week, comes back up again, this time with a big jar of beer. And she says, okay.
Look. Either you make love to me or we we at least kill the goat and have a party or we share this bottle, this big jar of of beer together. At least something. Because if you don’t, I’m gonna throw myself off the side of the mountain and kill myself because I’m in despair. So he thought, what to do?
I can’t be the cause of this poor girl’s death. I what can I do? I can’t make love to her, and god knows I can’t kill that poor goat. Well, drinking anyway, it’s not such a bad thing. You know?
It’s, you know, it’s alright. You know? Okay. We’ll drink the beer together. So, of course, we all know the end of this story.
He drank the beer. They drank the beer together, got completely drunk. He made love to the girl, and then they killed and ate the goat in celebration. So that’s the point. Do you see?
I mean, which in your ordinary sober mind you would never do become feasible and desirable when you’re in this other state of consciousness brought on by alcohol. People do things which they would never dream of doing when they’re sober. It brings out all the negative qualities. That’s the problem. It doesn’t if it brought out really good positive qualities, it would be okay, but it doesn’t.
All the violence and the abuse is because people are drunk or they’re they’re they’re, you know, stoned on drugs. And then that dependence, you’ve got to have it. And and and the sense of of how awful you feel when you don’t have it. I mean, it’s a big problem all over the world. I mean, the World Health Organization says that, you know, I don’t know, some terrific amount, like sixty or seventy percent of diseases in the world, their basis is in alcoholism.
And the social crimes. The social crimes are almost all of them committed by people who are drunk or stoned. So this is not a little precept which is not important and we can forget it. Okay? So all I can say is that please, if you are trying to lead a life which is spiritually based, then take this seriously.
The Buddhist path is the path of increasing clarity of mind and increasing inward control so that we are not enslaved by our thoughts and our feelings, but are masters of our thoughts and our feelings. Now alcohol, sorry, goes in the opposite direction. It’s totally counterproductive. So therefore, anyone who is genuinely interested in the spiritual path should really take this into consideration. People who are drunk look stupid.
They are not admirable. So if one cannot abstain completely, at least once you try to cut down to acceptable levels. I mean, a glass of wine at dinner. Okay. You know, one glass of beer with your mates in the pub.
Okay. But three or four or five glasses is not? Okay. Okay. Are listening?
So are there any questions? I have a question about the