Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Liana Taylor brings Buddhist teachings on wisdom and leadership into the boardroom context. In this nearly two-hour talk, she opens with reflective exercises on presence and mindfulness, then facilitates group discussions identifying the qualities wise leaders embody: presence, humility, compassion, non-reactivity, and competence. She introduces seven key disciplines for cultivating leadership wisdom—self-awareness, self-management, self-development, vision, decision-making, belonging, and aloneness—and guides the audience through an interactive exercise mapping their own natural strengths and blind spots against these domains. The talk reveals how each strength carries shadow sides: self-awareness can tip into self-consciousness; vision into isolation; learning hunger into never-enough exhaustion. Taylor then anchors the teaching in Buddhist foundations, walking through the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path, showing how wisdom, ethics, and mindfulness training together support wise leadership both in organizations and in ordinary life. Practical and reflective, suited to both secular professionals and Buddhist practitioners.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 2008 11 14 Cultivating Wisdom in Leadership.mp3
UUID: b33e5885-cc7b-41a5-a487-56ff7630c165
Teacher: Liana Taylor
Collection: Liana Taylor Buddha in the Boardroom (Liana Taylor)
Date: 2008-11-14
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Words: ~11,033
Hello? Welcome everyone to Buddha House and to Cultivating Wisdom and Buddhism in the boardroom all of that in one night. So we are delighted to have you here and we’re very delighted to have Liana here presenting this this series. Now I’ve known Liana, I don’t know, time, long time and what I would say about Liana is when Liana talks now you know that she’s talking not just from theory but from very good practice because the way that Liana uses what she learns in her own life is a great recommendation to all of us and that’s something that I think we look for not just people delivering theory but ways of doing things from their own understanding so Liana practices she’ll tell you more probably about her things in detail as it goes along she might say bits and pieces and so on but as a therapist with people but also has done work on mindfulness with groups and so on which some of our people from Buddha House have been to and have enjoyed so much they said we’ve got to get that woman here so welcome Liana we’re going to enjoy greatly this I think what I heard the conversation with you and we invite people afterwards if you like to we’ve got a bookshop there as well you can have a look at see those things so make yourself at home here if you haven’t found it toilets are out the door again and down the passageway men’s right down again ladies on the left just in here get a cuppa or a drink when you’d like to and Make yourself at home.
Thank you very much. So thank you very much Lindsay with a very lovely introduction I really appreciate it, and it was actually really warming coming tonight Can you can you hear me by the way? It was really warming coming tonight and walking in and seeing all these familiar places from so many different plan and new faces too But familiar places from from so many different places over over a long history in my own journey Can you hear that? Yeah, that’s better now What I’d like to do to start the evening is for us to be very friendly with each other and first of all to raise your right hand and Then reach out gently to the person on your right or to the person behind you. Touch them gently on the shoulder.
Find someone. And very lovingly say to them. Can you just make sure your mobile phone is turned off right now? The two things that matter to us in life are love and happiness We self select into the life that we lead in and out of our path based on what we love What we value and therefore what makes us happy in our actions. Let’s start tonight by coming into the present with ourselves.
Just slowly while you’re sitting there, put your feet on the floor, uncross your knees, feel your backside well back in the chair and your spine’s upright. Gently close your eyes, or if you want them open, let them soften. And just notice what is present in you right now. What is present in your thoughts? In your emotions, and in your bodily sensations.
Nothing to do. Nothing to change. Simply notice and meet yourself in this moment. Whatever is there, whatever is welcome, whatever is unwelcome. Just meeting.
And then bring your awareness into the movement of the breath through your body all the way down to your belly as your belly rises with each breath in and falls with each breath out. Just noticing the rise and the fall of your body with each breath in and each breath out. And then spread your awareness out to your whole body and being, noticing the presence in the room, your posture on the chair, your facial expression, and the sense of yourself being in this room, on this day, in this space, with the people we’re here with. The two things that matter most to us happiness. We self select into and out of our path based on what we love, what we value, and therefore, what makes us happy.
What is it that you love? As you’re ready, allow your eyes to open and come out of the meditation. humans have had the intuitive sense of the need for wisdom and virtue for millennia. We know that knowledge can be transferred, borrowed from books and experts, imparted and taught. Wisdom, however, is not transferable.
It’s a unique individual treasure accumulated while riding the tides and ebbs of life. In fact, we invest our leaders with the power to determine our destiny and our very species. Simultaneously, we’re performing acts of profound faith and of an unconscious and biologically informed intra-primate compulsion to give power to someone to lead us to safety. When we do that, do we not hold our collective breath and silently pray that we’re right? Our collective remains in the hands of leaders deciding and acting either wisely or stupidly.
No leader chooses to act foolishly, and yet many have. We encourage leaders to work toward wisdom and away from folly, folly that may only be evident over time. So what is leadership and what is leadership wisdom? Leadership is about vision, about knowing where we’re going and what matters, about insight, about seeing very clearly what is in front of us and what is present, and about relationship, both with self and with other. In order to lead wisely in the world, we need first to lead wisely in our own lives.
So, wisely, what is wisdom? We don’t always know how to describe wisdom and many have tried, but we sure know it when we see it. So what I’d like you to do is take a few minutes and find a partner to talk with and talk with them about who the people the people throughout history in our current political world in the broader world in our home lives in our organizations among the people we know who do you know who acts wisely and is it about what they do that makes you feel that they’re acting wisely in the world. Just take about five minutes with a partner. And so what are some of those qualities in other people that you see that have you thinking and interpreting them as wise?
What are the qualities of wisdom that you see? Being very present. Yep. Yes. Present.
humility. humility. Respect for others. Yes? You don’t take power over.
Don’t take power over? Have power with. Not reactive. Emotionally active. Mhmm.
So if they’re not reactive, what are they? Responsive, maybe? If they’re not taking power over, Lindsay, what are they? Acting with. Acting with.
Yeah. But power over another person. Yep. It’s about collaboration. Yep.
Empower others. Anything else that you notice in the people that you consider wise? Compassionate. Compassionate. Compassionate.
And if they’re nonjudgmental, what are they? Like, if they’re not judging? Accepting. Accepting? So accepting, communicative, patient.
Yep. Sense of contentment. And a natural sense of competence. Yes. Absolutely.
You can be as compassionate and good as listening and a whole lot of other things as you want, but if you’re kind of not competent at doing what you’re doing, they’re not always wise in the world. Anything else? Yep. Sharing competence. Selfless.
Also bringing up confidence in others, sort of engaging with others to bring out best in others. Yes? Can you make time for you? Yep. I don’t know.
Would the would if Nelson Mandela were here at the moment, would he be making time to speak to you and I right now? We do they do make time appropriately. Anything else? In my experience, people of wisdom often have a strong character, strong sense of virtue and character, resilience. Okay.
So when you look at those qualities and we recognize what those are, when you look at those, do you also recognize the ones of these you have in yourself? Just a quick question for you. And do you recognize the ones that you may want to cultivate a little more of in yourself? Okay. So the next question I have is have you in your life ever I mean, some of this may never have happened to some of you, but have any of you ever acted in a way that wasn’t wise anywhere in your life now if you look at your life whether you’re leading in your personal life or whether you’re leading in your professional life they kind of are one in the same just different context in which you’re doing it oftentimes.
In these ways that you haven’t acted wisely, have you ever acted unwisely in a way and then done the very same unwise act again sometime later? So we have a habit. We develop habit energies, and we repeat them over and over and over. If you looked at yourself and thought of just momentarily of one or two of those habits that you have got that are unwise in your life especially those habits that you’ve repeated over and over despite knowing that they’re unwise I mean we’re not unintelligent we’re just not always wise and you can you think of one or two that you that have been significant for you that you have done over and over throughout the years? I can, is anybody else in the room think of?
Yep, okay. So when you think of those one or two, just those one or two, there are many, as well as all the good things that you do and the useful things. There are one or two habits that you might have that are unwise. If you think of those one or two habits, can you tell me for how many of you have they been around for more than a year? Okay.
More than two years? More than five years? More than how old am I? Twenty years? Okay.
And more than thirty years for some of us. Okay. What we recognize this is our intellect is there to tell us that these actions are not wise, but somehow or other all of the other things are not in place sufficiently for us to be able to move towards acting wisely. Certainly if things were in place for us to act wisely, we would. People don’t choose to act unwisely on purpose, generally speaking.
They move toward what they love and they value and what makes them happy. And so we know that these habits are around for a very long time. What I’d like you to think just quietly for yourself and to reflect for a moment, and I’ll give you just a minute or two to do this, about what have been the consequences for you. Just of those one or two, not of the whole story of your life, but just of those one or two acts of lack of wisdom in your life. What have been the consequences for you over time?
You don’t need to share this. You can think freely. And, again, thinking to yourselves quietly, what difference would it make in your life? What impact would it have on your life, on the lives of the people around you, and on the broader planet if you were able to act wisely in those situations? What would be the impact?
If leadership, both in our own lives and in the broader world, if leadership is about vision, that is, seeing what matters to us most, insight, understanding the nature of things and what we can do about that, and relationship both to ourselves and to other people in the world. Then this is a direction we may want to move in. We can choose a path toward wisdom when we want to. Many of us do. Interestingly though, wisdom is a journey that comes often through humility.
Something that someone raised earlier and often through suffering. Suffering. People talk to me a lot about leadership and about wanting to be confident and confidence is an interesting interesting notion. I think confidence and wise leadership do not arise from an absence of fear or self doubt, but rather an intimate knowing of our own fears and our self doubt. We can only work skillfully with that which we know.
And so the more that we know our own journeys, the more we can work skillfully. Leaders self select into or out of greatness through the practice of several disciplines, disciplines that support their movement toward wisdom. These disciplines, and I’ll talk more about them in a minute, are self awareness, self development, self management, clarity of vision, clarity of decisions, engaging others, and cultivating aloneness. Our own greatness, our capacity for wisdom and leading depends on us cultivating these disciplines in our own lives. And above all knowing our strengths because it’s our strengths that are going to support us to work with those areas that where we struggle.
Just as leadership is a choice not a role or a title or a position, movement to towards wisdom is an attitude and it’s an attitude we can choose to cultivate. Great leaders inspire and encourage in a way that serves a greater purpose and meaning and that’s what wise leadership is about. Great leaders, wise leaders distinguish themselves by the impact, the positive impact they have on the people that they lead. Also in their determined search for meaning and adding significant value to the world. If we look at these seven disciplines one by one, we start with self awareness.
Self awareness is the most important for all the obvious reasons because it protects us from self absorption and from being roles driven reactive and allows the integration of our vision our talent and our personality and gives us a foundation for all the other choices. And mindfulness from the Buddhist perspective is one of the greatest tools we have in cultivating self awareness. The second discipline of self management. As we’ve said before, if to lead well in the world, we need first to live wisely in our own lives and avoid self sabotage and avoid derailment. So that’s managing our emotions, managing our inner worlds, and managing our behavior.
Some of the things that came up here. The third discipline is self development. And self development is a characteristic of all great wise leaders. Cultivating the habit of lifelong learning and learnings that build strength and allows us to grow through our failures rather than drown in our failures is a significant part of our journey. The discipline of vision back to where we started.
We need to know what’s important to us. If we don’t know what’s important to us, we’re not driven towards something and we can lose sight of where we are and why we’re doing what we’re doing. Great leaders often give themselves to great causes. Wise people often give themselves to great causes. Spending their lives focused on what is important rather than distracted or scattered by others’ expectations or agendas dissipated by distractions the vision helps us stay focused The fifth is decision making.
Decision making is an art form in itself. Wise leadership requires that we’re constantly, constantly making wise decisions, assessing what’s going on, seeing clearly, deciding wisely. What’s more, it’s about making wise decisions that don’t always seem wise at the time and don’t always seem wise to others, but in fact will end up being wise over time. We’ve only to look in history to people like Gandhi when he started on his journey and who among the people he knew at that time thought what was doing was wise and yet he changed the face of a nation with his actions. Wise decision.
Six. The discipline of belonging. The Discipline of Belonging is about being connected to the people around us because without them, there is no purpose. Without us and them, there is no purpose. We need to enjoy our significant relationships whatever the nature of that significant relationship.
Those relationships nurture our life, they give value to our practice and our community and help us make conscious decisions about what is important. To quit risking love is to quit risking life and to quit risking life is to quit risking moving to wisdom. I’ll just let that sit. The discipline of aloneness, opportunity for self reflection, supports a leader’s capacity not only to endure the loneliness of leadership, and it is often lonely when you’re making decisions, but also to build solitude into your own lives. This is where the depth and the richness come, where insight comes, and where inner stability and resilience comes from, our capacity to be alone and nurtured.
And so when you look at these lists, I want you to ponder for a moment those areas in which you feel very naturally at home and those areas which are perhaps not so at home for you. And this time, I’d like you to turn to somebody different in the room and just have a chat with them going through the list. Which of these areas are a more natural place for you to move, and which of these areas might you like to bring some more energy toward in terms of cultivating your own wisdom? About five or six minutes. Somebody different this time.
And we have a gentleman at the back who’s who’s it’s a challenge for him to move. So people would like to go too, Rod, that would be great. Do you need any more time? No. So stay where you are for the moment.
If I can interrupt you there. What I’d like you to do just individually where you are right now is to think about these, and just remember this is an exercise just for the sake of kind of learning and fun so it’s not about getting it right or knowing for sure is this the right answer or getting very attached to finding the right answer and being very clear or really depressed when you get it wrong and realise later that somebody else got it right and you didn’t or whatever else you know comes up in your mind in that process. It’s just a game, an exercise. What I’d like you to do is go down that list and have a sense in whatever way that that means to you in your life. So it may be over the whole span of your life or you might be choosing just this more recent period.
Which of those has been your kind of more dominant leading strength? There might be one or two, but think of the one that’s kind of been the dominant leading strength. If you can’t find one, just choose one. It’s only a game. And find the one which has been your least competent area through your life.
Yeah? Now you have to be willing to share this information. You don’t need to say much about it, but you have to be willing to let people know. So if you don’t want to let them know what yours is, choose something else. It’s only a game.
Okay? So and I’ll take part in the game. So and I’ll be honest so you can see my strengths and my weaknesses. They’re fairly obvious anyway. Okay.
So what I want to do well, I’ll give you some time to do that. Just put your hands up when you’ve got your top and your bottom. You’re the one you’re best at, one you’re least. A few people to go. Couple to go.
You’re there? Yep. Great. Okay. If you haven’t got there, figure it out along the way.
So what I want to do is for all of those people, and we’ll do this one by one, who chose self awareness as their number one dominant kind of driving, you know, mode to get up and move across that side of the room. And the people that didn’t choose that to come into the middle, and the people who chose self awareness as the bottom rung on their ladder to move on to that side of the room. There’s no one there. Thank you. I mean, I know it’s a Buddhist center and all, but thank you.
So what I’d like to know from this group over here, and you only need to contribute as much as you want to contribute, what has been the the best thing, the the most useful and and, yeah, the most useful and enjoyable thing about having this as your driving force in your life? One of the one of them. Any of you? For for myself. I’m more aware of my feelings.
Ah, and that’s a positive thing for you? It is. Yep. So just being really more aware of your failings. Yes.
And for the others of you? And how rich in our life? A very rich inner life. Yes. Sometimes that is feeling of having done things before, and it’s it’s a intuition or just this feeling of Almost like deja vu, but Yes.
Yes. A little bit extra there. Yes. And what does that give to you? Kind of Sometimes it can give you a bit of an insight.
Right. So it just leads to that insight in the world and where and it helps you find your path or your way. Or not find your path, but it helpful. An awareness of others. An awareness of others.
Yeah. Okay. Cool. Could you tell me if there are any things that have been limitations for you in your life because this has been your one of your driving forces? Has it impacted in in difficult ways for you?
You’re nodding your head there, Louise. Self consciousness? Yes. Self consciousness. Yep.
Yeah. Unpleasantly self conscious. Yes. Yeah? Self absorbed.
Self absorbed. Yes. Do any of the others have any any more negative aspects of this? Impatience. Impatience?
With? With myself, basically. And with other people as well. Right. And that comes from kind of having this like because you can see it and so if you can see it, why can’t I can see why Yeah, meditation wasn’t necessarily meant to be fun was it?
And anything else? Are there other negative aspects that you want to share? They don’t have to be. I’m just checking. All night.
That that’ll do? I agree with the first two points that you can do too much within yourself and too aware of others. So you’re kind of really getting lost in that inner world sometimes and the awareness of you and others. Yeah. An ability to read others and sometimes to make assumptions that are wrong.
Yes. It comes with any great strength. All the strengths that we have, know, in the positive side are our greatest strengths and they are also often our greatest weaknesses. So the more insightful you are, the more you’re sure you’re right because you often are and then when you’re not, you’re still sure you’re right and you’re not. Sort of like that.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you. And on this side, what has been the advantage to you of that not being your highest priority, your highest leading factor? Even worse, if you number seven. Oh, no.
If we were number one, yeah. Number seven, it fit. Probably, it’s to be armored, regret. So I look back then afterwards, and I just have this whole series of regrets. So that’s more of the negative aspect of this for you.
Have there been positive aspects? Because if you’re not, it doesn’t you can only be focused in some areas of your life at some of the time. I know we’re in a Buddhist center, actually most of us just don’t get to enlightenment in this lifetime. Some of you might, but I probably won’t. So, you know, we can’t focus everywhere.
Having that lower on your priority list, what have been the positive aspects of that for you? Not being aware at all, I’m just So it’s sort of blissful ignorance? Yes. Is that is I don’t I mean, I am putting words in your mouth, but I want to put them inaccurately in your mouth. Vis a vis what Louise said.
Okay. Thank you. Will you guys come into the center? I was just thinking. I thought you’re gonna sort of get every all of us to put ourselves on a scale.
Had thought about that but Time wise, but yeah. Seven scales. Somewhere along that line, absolutely. Now the next one, same thing, so yes, I had Do people want the air conditioner off now or leave it on? Leave it on.
Leave it on. That’s alright. Is it cooling or heating? It’s cooling down. Yeah.
Okay. So the next one on that self management, and again, you know, it’s just a game, so it may not be highest but you know for for the for those of you who had that as your highest one your driving force can you go to that side of the room and for those of you had self management as your lowest one can you go to that side of the room I belong on that side of the room, but my cord won’t let me go. Manager. Manager. Unplug.
So over this side of the room. Hello. Welcome. So can you tell me what’s been the advantage for your life that this has been one of your driving forces? I know I can be very disciplined.
Uh-huh. Yeah. So that self management does for you entail a lot of self discipline which you’re good at and makes things go better. Yeah. Real control and management of your life.
Great. Have there been negative aspects for you in that being a driving force? There may not be. You don’t have to go look for them. I think the only thing is I can be a bit hard on myself.
I think more normal times. Yes. And some people are more hard than others. That as a negative person. Yeah.
Okay. So for you, that’s been a pretty positive Yeah. Driving force. Great. Thank you.
And for you over here, what have been if I can start with the positive aspects of this being at the lower end of your driving force list? What have been the positive aspects of that? Just let’s okay. You’re feeling really over the edge and down the cliff. Something interesting will happen when you get there.
It’s fine when you’re younger. Body doesn’t sustain you quite so well when you’re older. Yeah. And for you, Elizabeth? Sense of freedom sort of in relation to time, being more present, being able to go with the flow and do things spontaneously rather than everything being schedule, schedule, schedule, and then treadmill.
Yes. Yes. Yeah. And there’s parts of my life that are like that. But Yeah.
But I do manage, but there’s other parts that I like I I need it’s like needing this Yes. Yes. I sort of feel like I need that space. Yep. Yep.
Have all that space. I belong on this side of the room too for this. This would be my lowest naturally, my lowest driving force and clearly fifteen or twenty odd years in Buddhist practice has moved it up the scale a bit, but really it just kind of moves up with the wrist. It still never seems to take over the others. What I love about this one is the indulgence that clearly has negative aspects.
The freedom, the creativity, the spontaneity, ability to be present, all that sort of real Lightness and joy in the world is really nice, but that gets limited by the mess I make of course mostly to myself and For you guys what would be the negative aspects of this being at the bottom or close to the bottom? Learning to control it and to be in control. Over time, it’s got better. Yeah. But if you wanna stay focused or you wanna stay in control of your emotions Figure out the rules of the game in a way.
Yeah. Yeah. And it sounds like for you that that sort of learning those things, those rules of the game are a little bit foreign. It’s kind of like being on another planet and Because it’s easier to be spontaneous. It’s easier to be spontaneous.
Yeah. Yep. So that that’s kind of hard work for to do this. And for you? I think for me, can be at times sort of just getting stuck, you know, of shut down stuck.
Mhmm. And wasting time. Yeah. And not sort of taking up Right. And for me the worst aspect of that has probably been my health, life has its own journeys and brings its own things really not particularly related to what I’m doing in this lifetime I don’t think, but nonetheless has impact there.
The way I can create a lot of anger in other people by my own time management, poor time management skills. And I don’t actually care very much but a bit like Debbie, I have to really register that this really matters to other people when it really so doesn’t matter to me. I have to work real hard to keep it in my mind that it matters to other people. So it does, and I care about other people, so that motivates me to try, but it’s hard work always. Okay.
Thank you for that. Well, yes. I’m not good at time management, so hence that’s one of the negative aspects. Those sort of things too. You don’t Yeah.
Don’t do those. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Next one, self development.
Those who are kind of driven by that as one of their drivers in life over this side. You know, if I were to do this exercise at the I did last week at the Australian Institute of Management, I really don’t think the numbers will quite sit like this. I’m not even totally sure I’d be as honest as I was about the last thing either. Okay. And the people for whom self development was on the bottom of their driving force, was there anybody?
No? Okay. So there’s no one over there. Okay, guys. Tell us.
What is what are the positive aspects? What are what are the what’s the value of this being driving force in your life? The learning. The learning? Oh, these nods.
I’m on this. This is my highest one. So learning junkie par excellence. Okay. So for the rest of you, learning, what else?
Yes. Yes. Yep. So that’s one of the one of the benefits. What else is there?
So there’s a sense of alignment of something in learning something new and thinking through, and how does that connect to that? Yep. Yep. Yeah. So there’s a live liveliness and that connection and that intuitive feeds that intuitive Yeah.
Mind sense. People, you know, kind of yeah. Yep. Some creative joy. You’re just finding a seat.
What was it? You were scared that someone might open the door and smack into you? So for the others of you, is there anything else that you can add about the benefits of this being one of your driving forces? It’s the knowledge that you gain along the way. I mean, you’re always in search of more knowledge.
And I think that’s probably, there’s something beneath that that’s driving you to self development. Because in me, I probably feel there’s something lacking, so I’m in search constantly of knowledge that will give me That thing that’s missing. Yep. Yes. Yep.
Anything else? That’s been traumatic in some cases, but something’s happened that’s made you think I need to do it better. Yes. It’s that’s sort of Supports that quality of humility. Yes.
And the and the urge to to learn and to strive. Yes. If you were gonna say something. I think it’s really good to to be inquisitive. Think, you know, learning and have that interest.
Uh-huh. And then it it can help yourself a lot. Yes. Yes. Although some people do, you know But probably not many of us.
Most of the time. Yeah. Yeah. It’s very interesting. Yeah.
There’s always something to That whole recognition of what there is to learn as you’re saying out there. Yes. And stimulation to your life. Yes. I mean it brings so many new subjects to you.
That maybe you went off in search of one thing, but the knowledge you gain also brings in other areas, you’re like, my god, I probably wouldn’t have gone there. But it also gives you a stepping stone to follow that one and it’s almost like a frog on the lily pad. You go off in one area, you gain knowledge in that particular area and the spin offs of where you can go from there, I guess, I don’t know if everyone else is similar to me. And, oh, yeah, maybe I’ll go in that direction, jump on to the next Yeah. See all these faces nodding.
This is half the room. And you meet people who are similar, and you all do that together. Yes. It’s like a joy of learning. Yes.
So it it really is that joy of learning for you. And it wouldn’t be like that for other people because that’s not the thing that they love and makes them happy so much. It’s like a drug. As are some of these other things to other people. Yes, absolutely.
Okay. What would be the downside of this as one of your driving forces? It’s being tired all the time. Like, there’s a million and one things that I’ve only got seventy five years to do. Yep.
Yep. Not enough time and space to do it all, to learn everything. And it’s too much, yeah, being on the schedule and Yep. Not having time to kind of put everything in in proper balance. Yes.
Having to scheduling rest time and having to scheduling to catch up with people that you love. Was talking to someone the other day who who was talking about sleep and, you know, it being a pity that you needed it really. Oh, good buddy over there. Any any other negative aspects of this being a driving force? People who don’t actually wanna learn and don’t wanna self develop.
Mhmm. And they end up appearing to be stuck. Right. To you, they look stuck. To me.
Yep. And that can be a little bit frustrating if you just know they just actually Yes. Why don’t you just go here. Go there. Read this book.
I’m I’m not sure none of you have ever done that. Know, left the books, offered people books, sent them brochures, sent them bit of research paper, offered them a free entrance to a course that they could do, offered to take them off to the therapist, offered to find another therapist, a new coach, a new training, a new job, a new life. It’s just a different journey. It’s just a journey. Any other Yeah.
You ever say enough. Right. Nothing’s ever enough. Is that what you mean? Like, there’s never a stop?
Yes. Yes. You just don’t get to stop and really go enough. That was great. I’ve got it.
Yes. Yes. But in there, I think sorry. In there, I think it’s not it’s how can I put it? You enjoy giving what you’ve learned.
You you’re very good at giving of your knowledge because you’ve enjoyed it so much and I don’t really find that as a negative when I think about it. I think the negative can come across to other people that you know it all. Yes. That you’re judging them and they you think they should do this and should do that. Yes.
Rather than, you know, this is my journey, but that’s their journey. Yes. Know, we’re actually different. Yes. You know?
Yep. Yes. I think that judgment stuff can be there. Yes. Yep.
Within within you guys, me in this place, and also within other people too. And they can feel it too. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, from all of these we can feel, you know, we’ve only to listen to this little story.
We’re only halfway through the story here, and we can see the ways in which we can easily feel judged by other people and be judged by other people, and that we can be judging of other people simply because of those differences and these forces that drive us and all of these are really positive and useful things it’s just that we’re not all the same and so really most of us need to kind of get into our 30s and 40s have nearly trashed or trashed one or two serious possibly a job or a career and maybe our health and a few other things before we realize some of this and then we get the chance to kind of really enjoy this is my strength and these are the this is the real value of that but these are the limitations both in terms of ourselves and in terms of our relationships with other people and our vision for the world. Yeah. Thank you guys. Come back in. Now, has anybody in the room got vision as their highest driving force?
Now I know that some of you have been in one place, and there may be another one that’s equally as high. It’s funny you’re there. Funny, Lindsay. So tell us, Lindsay, what’s what what are the positive aspects? What what’s the joy of having vision as your drive one of your driving forces, one of your disciplines?
I’m not thinking about sure I knew what it was over there. It’s about there’s always somewhere to go. Uh-huh. Yes. So there’s always a a place where this can be improved or that can be done or that can be created.
Yes. Excitement. There’s a a lot of excitement about it. It’s fantastic. Free, you know, mind can go anywhere and you can pick some of it.
In some ways, tell me if I’ve got this wrong because I don’t want to minimize what you’re saying. But in some ways, there’s some of the things that self development people were saying, but they were more kind of Internal knowing where yours seems more like this can be created out there and not that these people aren’t doing that too clearly you we are But when I hear you talk about it’s kind of more like you see those things out this could happen that could happen Yeah, okay, and are there downsides to having this as one of your driving forces? Are the downsides? Glad you’re glad this wasn’t your second one. Or is it is it your second one?
No. The bottom one. Yes. Or are they just non visionary? Yes.
And So there’s questions. This question. Yes. Yes. Yes.
The other downside is about not enough time. In fact, so many visions Yeah. You know, I to live five or six lifetimes parallel Yes. Around To do them all. Yeah.
Yep. Yep. Yep. And just be really good at delegating to the whole universe. Yeah.
Okay. You are. Channeling as we speak So and one of the things I just want to point out when you’re here and the same applied before Cheryl was either was over there by yourself before What did I just realized what I just said. Thank you. Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously and nothing like mixing people’s names up and That sometimes we’re in a place alone or even when we’re in a crowd you know that if for example vision is a really strong driver for us and Belonging is also a really strong driver those two things we’ve got but this in some ways leaves us isolated and This is important to us that can be a real struggle for our life if this one is really important and The need for this is also important, but all the people around us want us to be belonging that gets to be problematic too Yeah, so I think you know having a look at these seven disciplines these these in a way that they’re disciplines and we can cultivate those capacities for discipline and Also, we all have a natural tendency towards some of these and not towards others and so finding what are our natural tendencies?
What are those passions that move us and drive us forward? Recognizing those and really supporting those disciplines, but also understanding the pitfalls of that and how they mix with the other things that matters to us Especially when they’re really weird contrast that mean we want this and we want there, but those two things often exclude each other that’s where we really struggle in life and certainly that’s where leaders struggle in terms of acting wisely Could you come back into the middle? Thanks, Lindsay decision making is anybody over there for decision making on either side Okay, Rod’s over there. Okay. So, Sandra.
So, Sandra, tell us what is what is great about decision making being an important part of your life? Yes. Yep. On other people. Is that notion is near that the more you take responsibility for your life the more you buy freedom and you buy that freedom with responsibility and other down other downsides of the decision making being a driving force to focus much of my day at work making decisions and then I have an expectation of myself that I make decisions all the time.
So I get home and I can’t make a decision about when am I gonna make the tea? Right. And then what happens to you if you can’t do that at home? Right. But that’s okay because that’s the decision that I’ve made.
Yes. Yes. But that that’s the that’s the downside of that for you. And is there a sense just to I’m just checking because of Lindsay’s experience over there is there Is this one of the places where you feel alone a lot or is it just in this context? Like in other in other contexts.
There are a lot of other people When we when we looked at the people who are into self development there was a whole gaggle of them Yep, so they certainly would have been struggling with not finding their buddies They may have struggled to get enough aloneness if they needed it. Yeah, when we looked at Lindsay sitting there He really loved this vision, but he was often alone in it Yeah, what if and do you find yourself Alone in this as a driving force a lot or there are lot of other people around you like that perhaps just not here tonight Sometimes I might struggle because others around me are wanting to make decisions, but it may not be just for themselves. They’ll make a decision for the entire group. Uh-huh. But I wanna make a decision for me too.
So Right. That becomes a struggle. Yeah. It’s not for me around controlling others. It’s just Wanting to make decisions for yourself.
Yeah. Needing to be in control of your own destiny. Yep. Okay. Great.
Thanks. And for you guys over here, first of all, what are the what are the benefits of this being low on your list? Yep. Yep. Who cares?
Spontaneity? Yes. Just be spontaneous and not worry about what’s right, wrong, or anything else. Yep. Just do what you’re pressure off Yeah.
Of having to make a decision even with very simplistic things like driving to work and you think which way will I go that way or that way, to relieve the pressure I often say whichever light goes green first alleviates. No decision to fate. You don’t have to dither over that one. I think I’m influenced too by my star sign being a Libran. Always having to be in sync and in balance.
Decision making doesn’t come natural. You dither a lot over it and you consider others over it. There are so many things that have to take into consideration that sometimes, like you’re saying, it’s all too hard. That’s why whichever light goes green, there’s the decision for me, that’s one less you have to make. Yes, it’s just done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s a it just reminds me many of you will be familiar with Carl Jung’s well in my view that slight bastardization of Carl Jung’s apology By the my Briggs type indicator people but nonetheless a useful tool and one of the polarities on that tool of its personality typology is the judging perceiving and In my experience in a workplace that is the single polarity that causes the most problem in a working place that some people just are over and over and over and over staying open to opportunity and Not quite making decision because never know what’s coming around the corner and the others need to make a decision and have the plan and carry it out and get on with it and that Causes tremendous tension in a working environment Thank you, and is there anything else For me, it leads into my number one self awareness. Uh-huh. By being a procrastinator, it gives me that opportunity to get my intuition going. So the two sort of sometimes work well or would that work well? Yes.
Yes. Both sides of the coin. Is there anything else anybody has to add about the negative aspects of this being low on your priority list? Say what? Yes.
Negative. Annoy other people. Yeah. Especially within the family unit. Yes.
You know? But but we need a decision, mom, or you know? And and you and the other thing is you can, I’m always weighing up both sides so it takes me longer to come to a decision probably and that’s probably the frustrating aspect for others that we need you to make a decision now and that puts pressure on me. Can’t handle I cringe at that. Me think about it and I’ll get back to you.
I prefer my own space and weigh up what’s important to me to hear how it will affect those and how it will affect me. And then I feel like I’ve come to a decision that, you know, it’s imbalanced. That matters. Yes. I think also for me it’s about lack of vision.
Uh-huh. So that Yes. As you learn how to do that. Clearer decisions. Yeah.
Clearer and in line with what you value so that you’re moving more and more in line with what you value in that direction. Yes. It’s not all negative. It does take you a long time, so by not making it, others will make a decision. And I I don’t know about anyone else.
I feel quite happy to go along with it, and you experience something different by being so easy going in your nature. It leaves you open to so many other opportunities that others invite you to. So I see it never as a negative, but I see it as a positive in my life. Yes. That I’ve been open to so many different things.
Yes. By being indecisive. Yes. Yep. So there’s values value in in both areas.
Thanks, guys. Will you come back into the center? What about belonging? Is there anyone here for whom belonging is really high on their list of driving force? Funny that we’re at a Buddhist center and that’s that way Okay, and is there anybody for whom it’s at the bottom of their list a couple of you few And I do want to remind us you know like there are two or three on my high side and a couple on my lower side And I know that that will be the case for all of you so You know when we’re hearing the stories they’ll be familiar So tell us what’s really?
What are the benefits of this not being a high priority to you? Yes. In your own space. Yes. It’s very easy to ignore what the herd are doing.
I don’t feel any pressure to do what other people are doing. The more people who are doing something So what? Yeah. Yep. No need to conform.
It doesn’t interest me. That’s the end of it. Yes. Yep. Because then true to yourself.
Yes. Anything else? And what would be the negative parts of this not being high on your list? People see you as a. Yes.
Yes. Yep. I think a lot of pity. Yes. Yeah.
Yes. And others anything else that someone negative side of that being low on your priority list? It’s not so good. Yeah. Because it’s not your habit that sometimes it turns out not to be such a good thing.
Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s a really significant one there for other people too.
Anything else? Great. Can you guys come back in the center? And is there anyone for whom aloneness? Solitude and reflection driving force, in which case go to this side, or if it’s the lowest on your list, go to this side.
So tell us, what’s the benefit of having a loneliness being one of your significant drivers? I was thinking about it as a survival thing, being able to survive a number of circumstances just because you had that ability to, not so much stick it out on your own, but just worrying me too much. Yes. And I mean, it’s it’s so related to so many other things as well, I think. But that I would say is the major The really significant factor.
Survival. Yeah, and knowing that you can. Yes, and that being important. And strangely enough, it doesn’t drive other people in the same way, the urge for survival. Life circumstances change what we value at different times pretty radically sometimes.
It is a driver. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah.
It’s a driver. What would be the negative aspects of this? I think it’s the same thing that Jenny said just now that people think you’re stronger than perhaps you are. Because they say, you know, you seem to survive that okay And then you can also get out away from the pack sometimes without realising how far you’re away from the rest of the flock or the pack or something like that. Yes.
And okay, you’re surviving. And they stop worrying about where you are. They’ve to come and look for you, etcetera, etcetera. Yes. So you really can get extremely isolated in an unhealthy way without realizing.
Yeah. And then while sometimes, you know, you yourself are not too worried about it, other people are. Yes. And so there’s a that’s a negative side. Yeah.
They blame you. Oh because they’re worrying. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Absolutely. And it’s interesting what you’re saying there. There are both those aspects of what you’re saying about you can go off on your own and kind of enjoy that and be further and further and further away from the pack and One side of that is that you can get so far that even for yourself. You haven’t realized.
It’s too far on The other hand is also the thing other people think you’re too far even when you’re not and so they’re worrying and they blame you because they’re worried about you And you know it’s your fault that they’re worrying and trying to find the line between all of that is really confusing and we’re all really helpful really healthy Emotionally healthy and incredibly skillful in our communication we can sort those things out But for all the rest of us it just causes a lot of mess And about a lot of these things and what about on this side? What are the positive aspects of this being so low on your list? Like meaning what else have you paid attention to or what are the positive aspects of this being low on your list? Yes. Yes.
So you can just enjoy what you’re thinking. Yeah. So with each of these this if this is low on your list of priorities There are positive aspects about that because your attention is doing something else or that that serves you in some way to be low either It serves you because it allows your focus to be elsewhere or it serves you like Lindsay was saying because it allows him some alone time So what for you this being a low driving if it if it’s nonsensical don’t worry about it. Do you have a thought? Is there any positive aspects of that being low?
Well, I think I think keeping engaging and belonging, Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yep.
So it’s easy to go into here for you because because this is a low value. It’s easy for yep. For you to have a sense of what might be positive about that being low? No? What are the negatives aspects about this being low on in your driving force?
I actually think I recoup. I recover a lot when I’m alone. Right. But I never I I’m learning to take time for that. And I But it hasn’t been natural to you?
Yeah. That’s very similar. Uh-huh. You can be run by excitement and so on. And not recognize the value of the aloneness. Yes.
Until it becomes essential. Yes. Yes. Creating it before it becomes essential. Yes.
Yes. Kinda stepping over the line. Yeah. And for you? Right.
Okay. Because it’s low, you don’t let it happen. Yeah, it’s great. Thank you So come back into the center So what I’d like you to do right now again is turn to someone who you haven’t already turned to to speak to and just turn to them and talk about what has been either useful or interesting about that exercise at looking at these seven disciplines for cultivating wisdom in life and the whole exercise we did to you just did what’s been useful or interesting in there for you that you’ll take away with? Remember to choose someone new.
Wandering off two free Thanks, Lindsey. There’s always something that really rises in me every time I’m talking normally then all of a sudden I hear my own voice coming back at me. I get this little jot. You think you get used to it after the years, but I haven’t. Interesting.
So what we’ve been looking at tonight from just a broad of our own histories and our own experience in the world are what the qualities of wisdom are and they’re pretty standard qualities of wisdom and I can quote all the theorists the philosophers the you know great minds throughout the centuries and pretty much this is what they say most of this so we know that Then we look at the ways in which we don’t always act wisely despite the fact their intellect tells us We’re not acting wisely it might even tell us what we might do differently somehow We don’t always find our way to that and so we had a look at some of the disciplines that we know some of the seven disciplines that Support movement toward wisdom and that all people who are acting wisely in the world nurture these disciplines a Part of that story is recognizing that we each of us have natural strengths in some of these areas and natural tendencies and it’s a real value to us to recognize where our strengths are what drives us to use those strengths to support all the areas of our life and to value those strengths to recognize the benefits of those strengths but also the limitations and the struggles that we have because of them.
Also the exercise helps us in our awareness around how other people are and how those difference work and how easily we can judge ourselves or judge other people because of these differences and so when we’ve got a way of looking at them just another way of increasing our awareness another way of seeing reality just for what it is without our judgment that helps us move in a more positive direction So then we come to how do we use them and how do I use and how can we use Buddhist training or or teachings and practices to support us move in more wise directions I’ve not actually spoken I’ve spoken with a mic a lot of time, but I’ve never spoken with a mic that wasn’t Cordless so I’m really unaccustomed to being on a leash and it’s Being that spontaneous person it’s very weird trying to figure out how to stand and do. Even when I’ve sung, I’ve sung with a cordless mic. When we look to the Buddhist teachings for most of you How many here know the Buddhist teachings, theory, the basic Buddhist teachings? Probably a little bit more than half. The the first basic teaching that the Buddha gave was about truths the four noble truths are that one suffering exists It’s always been translated as suffering, but really what it means is dissatisfaction So oh gosh, this is you know ticking in my side or my skirt’s not sitting right.
You know. Oh, it’s raining Oh, my kid died. You know. Oh, there’s a war you know dissatisfaction at many many levels in many many ways So truth number one dissatisfaction exists. I have cramp in my foot.
That’s also a dissatisfaction hang on a minute It is interesting that I think a cramp in my foot means I need to drink water, but Seem not sensible thing to do at the time Regardless of what was sensible or not anyway First Noble Truth there is suffering dissatisfaction in the world Second Noble Truth there’s a cause of the suffering and the causes are by large one of three things our attachment to things not that we don’t want to want things it’s useful to want things but Attaching to things that we want that aren’t actually going to have a positive outcome for us so attachment aversion trying to push away be angry with or avoid things or That we don’t like or delusion just not seeing things for what they are So they’re the four noble truths And that’s not the four noble truths. It’s the second noble truth the third noble truth is that there’s a way out of suffering and the fourth noble truth is the way out of that suffering is the Eightfold Path and the eight noble fold path in my view and I talk about this in psychology circles and Organizational context to the Noble Eightfold Path is kind of like a how to menu how to live a good life and if you’re moving to wisdom how to live a wise life The Eightfold Path is commonly divided into three higher enlightenment trainings and the three higher enlightenment trainings are wisdom ethics and discipline So that’s the kind of broad scope of where you’re looking and moving forward in your life.
You’re not just picking up in one area You’re looking at all of these three areas a part of wisdom commonly three of the eight Eight aspects of the path are listed under wisdom and that is right view and that is seeing things as they are including understanding about the four Noble Truths, understanding about the Eightfold Path, understanding about the three refuges and a range of other aspects of the Buddhist teaching. So it’s about understanding those things. It’s about right intention, having our focus directed in where we want it to be and having the right motivation for what we do, often driven by vision and what we love, and right effort, putting effort in. Just by the way, I’ve drawn this line here because different texts and different teachers will firmly tell you the truth that this belongs here or this belongs here and It belongs in one of those places so but it It’s the third one in the ethics section of the enlightenment trainings is ethics and ethics is about our relationship with other people and Ourselves it’s about right speech We talk about right speech sometimes. I have a whole hour with someone talking about right speech It’s a really rich and big aspect of our life Right speech is about saying that which is true useful and timely It’s also about hearing what is present to us, and there are a whole lot of other things about right speech and Right action in the world clearly acting in ways that we think is skillful and wise constructive and Right livelihood having a life a lifestyle and a livelihood that supports a better world rather than contributing to a Less wise world the third area of the higher enlightened trainings trainings is discipline and that includes predominantly the two aspects of concentration which we learn through concentrated meditation and mindfulness which we which is another form of meditation.
As I said, some people put effort in this part too. I would because my personality would have it seen as a discipline Some people would have it here because it’s seen as a wisdom So and depends on your drivers where you would where you would place that clearly that’s the case of the teachers too because they say different things In my experience especially teaching I do a lot of teaching I teach mindfulness based cognitive therapy and I do a lot of mindfulness teaching in Various working contexts and I think mindfulness is an exceptionally useful skill for people to have to To practice in the actual mindfulness and to develop those skills to understand their world to increase self awareness self management Obviously, it’s an aspect of self development to really support all of these things One of the things that it’s a joy about being here tonight for me is that oftentimes in the context in which I am It’s not it’s not really appropriate for me to be talking about the whole Buddhist structure and yet You know to take mindfulness as one aspect of the path and all those aspects fit like that they don’t exist in any really useful way without each other it’s a delight for me to be in a Buddhist context where I can talk about that as this is the whole path and We want to be looking to how we might support ourselves move into more wisdom based on all of those things and What I’d encourage you to do tonight well Elizabeth asked me could you could you have a copy of this and so I said well I’ll get my PA when she’s back from holidays next week to put it up on my website and So if any of you want it use the word antelope as a password because these things get passworded on the website So use the word antelope if you go on to my website, which is w w w dot mindfulness center obviously dot com and if you forget just ask Lindsey or Jamyang or one of them because they’ll have it in my it’s in the email signature and if you go into the website sometime probably after Tuesday There’ll be a section that I’ll just I’ll make it obvious somehow in the resource in the resources section How you can go on there you’ll be able to click on to it open it up And I’ll have all of the notes up on the web for you, but it’ll be password under the word antelope Sorry about that little bit of interruption What I encourage you to do is to with the information that you have about you know what wisdom is with the information you have about where your strengths are and The limitations and the benefits of that Be aware of the aspects of the path that are most going to support you in the development in the direction that you want to develop Whether that’s your capacity to just be present with your experience and enjoy it whether that’s your capacity to bring more discipline to bear whether that’s your ability to find more compassion in the world as the Dalai Lama said you know wisdom and compassion are the two wings of the dove that fly over the ocean of truth.
And we each of us have natural tendencies in one direction or another. And so sometimes we need to sit with where our strength is and sometimes we need to bring some new discipline or compassion to bear and learn something new. So I encourage you to use the Buddhist teachings in all of these areas to support the developing of your discipline in order to support your leadership wisdom. And let me finish with this. I’ve got my notes.
Two things one is a quote believe it or not from Solomon for the very true beginning of wisdom is the desire of discipline, and the care of discipline is love. If the quality of our lives is measured by the degree to which we live up to the things we most love and most value, then recognizing the impact of our influence and developing our leadership skills is paramount to a life of value. Thanks for having me. If people have questions they’re welcome to ask them. There you go.
All is clear.