Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 44-minute teaching, Lama Lhundup guides practitioners through a systematic analysis of self-cherishing as the root cause of suffering and presents the antidote: cultivating equanimity and genuine concern for others. He begins by establishing that all our difficulties arise from the imbalance of attachment to those near us and aversion to those distant, then introduces a three-part meditation on equality: placing sentient beings on one side, a neutral witness in the middle, and our self-cherishing self on the other, to rationally determine where benefit flows from. Moving into practical territory, he draws concrete examples from ordinary life—officials who care for rich and poor equally earn universal respect, while self-absorbed leaders gain neither affection nor influence; marriages thrive when spouses prioritise each other’s welfare. He traces how self-cherishing creates negative karma across lifetimes, then pivots to cherishing others through the practice of giving and taking, using one’s mother as the first object of meditation: visualising her suffering as black smoke entering the heart where self-cherishing resides and dissolves. Aimed at practitioners already engaged in Buddhist study and familiar with meditation practice.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 05 C o P.mp3
UUID: 8f6df9ec-0a6b-41ac-8ace-7fb06de7c081
Teacher: Lama Lhundup
Collection: Changing our perspectives (Lama Lhundup)
Date: 1987 (exact day not recorded)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 44.6 minutes
Words: ~3,028
We are always subject to the experience of suffering. We are always experiencing constant troubles and problems. If we were to ask what is the main reason, why do we have all these difficulties? The main reason we have all our problems is due to the power of the force of our own self-cherishing. So, before, in our last session, we meditated on equanimity of sentient beings.
It is due to the force of having aversion for those who we hold distant and having attachment for those who we hold near. That is, this feeling of inequality between the various people we come into relationship with that all our difficulties arise. So, a basis for relating, we must begin to even out, have a smooth, even basis. And upon this basis, progress in our meditation. But the basis must begin with the development of equanimity and equal feeling and equal regard for all sentient beings.
Now, how do we proceed in our meditation in developing this equanimity, this feeling of equality? We must understand that just as we desire happiness, others also in the same way, in the exact same way, desire happiness. And just as we do not desire the least bit of suffering, likewise all sentient beings do not want suffering. And therefore, the feelings of attachment, the emotions of attachment, hatred are inappropriate. This feeling that we’re trying to generate is the feeling of equality of self and others.
So from beginning of this time up to the present, we have been solely concerned with our own happiness. We have never been concerned with the happinesses of others. Therefore, today, at present, we have attained this precious human rebirth, this body of leisures and endowments, and we have met with the Dharma of the great vehicle, the Mahāyāna. So in order to take the greatest advantage of our opportunity, we must begin to recognize what is the cause of our problems, what is the cause of our suffering, and we must begin to recognize, identify in order to begin to destroy the causes of our suffering. We can see within our own experience that we constantly hold our whatever we experience, we can see that it’s solely based upon this emotion of holding ourselves dear, of cherishing ourselves.
Therefore, we should consider this in the following manner. We are going to observe different groups of people. For example, on our right side we put all sentient beings, all the various types of sentient beings. We put a large number on our right side. In the middle we place a neutral person.
This is going to be our witness. He is going to judge what is right and what is wrong. And on the left we place ourselves, that is our self-cherishing selves, the self which is constantly caught up with the idea of my happiness, my needs, my wants, my desires. And so, whole life is completely bound up in self centered activities generating various hates, jealousies, and attachments due to these. And we are going to to see which one is more important using the judge or the witness in the middle who is going to determine what is more important.
Who are more important? This large group on the right, this infinite number of sentient beings, or this one person on the left, this self-cherishing self? So if we cultivate and meditate in this way, things will proceed very well. Now if we look at this one person on the left, this self-cherishing self of ours, We say, If this person, if we spend all our time bringing happiness to this single person, then at best we can only make one person happy. Only one person is going to be made happy by all our efforts.
But if we look at this infinite number of people on the right and we dedicate ourselves to the happiness of that group, then we can see that through our efforts not just one person can be made happy, but an infinite number of people can be made happy. And therefore, the benefits derived are going to be infinite by dedicating ourselves to their happiness. So for various reasonings, we cultivate the virtuous mind which seeks to benefit others. So, we can see in the world that those in high places, officials or whatnot, if they have the attitude of caring for others in an equal manner, that is, they do not hold, you know, they hold equally, whether they help equally, a rich person or a poor person, or whether he is a stranger or someone they know, if they are willing to care for and help others equally, then everyone thinks well of them. They realize that they consider them as very kind persons, and everyone holds these people up as a model to be emulated.
But on the other hand, we see many important officials who only consider themselves. All they do is talk about how great they are. They are only concerned with gaining power for themselves alone. And it becomes obvious that these people neither benefit others nor are they held in high regard by others. Also, within a household, between husband and wife, for example, when the husband regards her with great respect and seeks to take care of her.
And likewise, the wife also respects her husband and seeks to take care of him. It is they place a greater importance upon their mate than themselves. In such a household, there will be few troubles, few problems between the husband and wife, and it will be a happy household. Things will go well for them. But then on the other hand, those who are only concerned with their own welfare, who exaggerated self concern, self-cherishing, who have no respect for others, no real love for others.
In all their relationships there is disharmony, there’s conflict, there’s no mutual benefit. You know, when we have problems, when troubles, difficulties arise with another person, if we can just think, you know, this other person wants happiness just like myself, and this other person doesn’t want to suffer just like myself. And if we can develop this feeling of equality between self and others, then it’s going to be like this violently boiling water which slowly cool down and will become still and placid. So, again and again, we have to cultivate this attitude that is the equanimity of self and others. In trying to develop a kind heart, good mind, we have to take as our foundation this feeling of the equality of self and others.
So, in the beginning, we have to again and again consider what are the disadvantages, what are the detriments of self-cherishing. And in order to develop equanimity, we have to see what the harm that self-cherishing is actually bringing us. From beginning this time, we’ve been afflicted with self-cherishing. And because of this self-cherishing, we’ve never been able to fulfill any of our desires. Therefore, we have been afflicted with self-cherishing from beginning of this time and due to this self-cherishing we have been driven to kill other sentient beings, we develop harmful intentions towards others, we want to hurt others, we’ve taken rebirth in hell previously due to this self-cherishing, it has only caused us suffering.
If we look at a present situation and we look at it well, we will see that there is no time that we do not suffer one type or other of the three types of suffering the suffering of pain, the suffering of change, the suffering of pervasive compositional suffering that if we look closely, we are always experiencing some type of suffering. And all these sufferings that we’re constantly experiencing, if we look for the root of all these problems, our difficulties, suffering, it’s self-cherishing. Generally, we have some suffering, some suffering arises for us, we always look outside and we say the cause of our suffering is this other person, or, you know, this person has caused my suffering, and therefore dependent upon this, we develop hatred. But if we actually look at the situation, all these sufferings, this unhappiness that we experience is caused by our karma. But how did we create this unskillful karma?
It was created out of self-cherishing. So, you know, even in this life, due to the force of our self-cherishing, we due to being under the power of self-cherishing, we engage, we develop the attitudes of attachment, hatred, pride, and all the very afflictive emotions. And with all these various actions, this karma that we are creating, they plant a latency or imprint on our mind, and therefore there is always the potential there for us to undergo suffering just by meeting with the correct condition. And due to these, we have all these latencies of negative past actions, and it’s just a matter of time until we meet the condition. So, this way, these various actions not only bring us suffering in this life, but they are also going to bring about sufferings in future lives.
Until we destroy self-cherishing, we are never going to be happy. If we really want to be happy, if we really want to experience happiness, then we’re going to have to destroy self-cherishing. So, we have to again and again and again begin to consider in our daily life the disadvantages of self-cherishing. With our own experience, try to see how self-cherishing is the root of our problems and causing our suffering. Look at the experiences of others and see that all their problems and all their troubles are also arising from self-cherishing.
Again and again, looking at the disadvantages and detriments of self-cherishing. But then on the other hand, if we look at the benefits of cherishing others, all the happiness that we’ve ever experienced has come about through holding others dear and cherishing others. The very fact that we have a human body is due to the kindness of other beings. The fact that we don’t have to go through a lot of trouble to get our food, have a place to live is all due to the kindness of others. So all these various advantages that we experience now, the very fact that we’ve been able to live as long you know, we were born and now we have lived so many years that we have had a long life.
The very fact that this came about through the benefit of cherishing others. Through, for example, through abandoning the killing of others, we’ve been able to experience a long life. So it depends upon others. The fact that we don’t have to go through a great deal of trouble to get our food and our housing, our place to live, is due to that we practice generosity, that we abandon miserliness, and this is dependent upon the kindness of others. So, we take an example of Buddha Śākyamūni, he was no different than ourselves in the beginning.
He was suffering just like we suffer. But, you know, he in dependence upon the advice of his spiritual guide, his spiritual teachers, he began to question, Where does all this suffering come from? Where does my happiness actually come from? He began thinking about this again and again. He realized that all his suffering was coming from cherishing himself and all his happiness was coming from cherishing others.
Likewise, amongst humans, for example, the people we call friend, the people who want to be our friends, the people we consider as being kind hearted, having good minds, are the people who have less self-cherishing. So the people who we feel have a kind heart, have a naturally developed liking for these people. So, if we take the example of the Dalai Lama, he has, you know, not only in this life but in numerous past lives. He has lived in such a way that his life is dedicated to cherishing others, only to cherishing others. And whatever religious tradition, those people who are admired, who are sought to be emulated, it was always the people were completely directed toward the cherishing of others.
So, whatever holy being we might consider, he is considered holy because of this quality of cherishing others. All the great spiritual qualities arise dependent upon this one fact, that is cherishing others more than oneself. Also, Lama Zopa, has, from the age of where he is very little, four or five years old, has completely directed himself towards benefiting and cherishing others. in dependence upon this kindness, this trying to develop this cherishing of others, he has been able to benefit a great number of people. So, we should try to develop the thought from the depths of our hearts, you know, may all sentient beings be happy.
Try to have a very sincere and very deep feeling which thinks, may all sentient beings be happy. And we will derive a great deal of happiness presently within our own mind, but it will be of great benefit for us. So, we have to bring to mind again and again cultivate the reasonings why the advantages and the benefits to be derived from cherishing others. So, by again and again thinking about the disadvantages of self-cherishing, the advantages of cherishing others, we have to bring this to mind again and again. And this way we should bring this to mind and again and again these advantages and disadvantages.
So, therefore, in thinking this way, we come to the thought that I should exchange self for others. But we shouldn’t think that when considering exchange of self or others that the other is going to become me and I’m going to become the other. So, what is it we actually exchange? You know, from the beginning of this time, we have cherished ourselves, and we have not cherished others. So, exchange the object of cherishing, that is, we now begin to cherish others, and we change the object of cherishing.
That is, up to now we have cherished ourselves, but now we exchange that object for others, and therefore we cherish others. So we have to make effort. First off, we make the effort you know, we begin to turn away the mind which is naturally arising, which is, I want happiness, you know, I want the good things, I I we begin to turn this away, this mind away. We begin to replace this thought with the cherishing of others rather than cherishing ourselves by thinking that first we are thinking of others as having there is no difference. We make no distinctions amongst other people.
That may they be happy. Rather than thinking, you know, my happiness, we begin to think, may they be happy, may they get all that they want. So, when this naturally arises, this thought where one naturally is concerned with the happiness of others, when this arises naturally, this is the actual exchange of self and equalizing and exchange of self with others. So, this meditating and training in this way on the equalizing exchange of ourselves with others, just a moment of even considering this, there is a tremendous benefit and a great merit which arises. So, in order actually eliminate this mind of self-cherishing, we have to cultivate the mind of cherishing others.
So, a method for bringing this about for extinguishing this self-cherishing and developing the mind of cherishing others is the practice of giving and taking. So, we should begin to think that, in general, amongst all the sentient beings, there is no one like our mother with regard to the kindness that she has shown us. So, in dependence upon thinking is that whenever we see our mother, we develop a great happiness and a feeling of cherishing her. Because we hold our mother so dear, you know, that all the various temporal difficulties that she experiences, any type of suffering, when we see this, you know, it makes us unhappy. So, taking as your object of So, we take our mother as the object of our training, our development, and we look at her suffering that she’s experiencing.
Looking at her suffering, we develop a great deal of compassion, wanting to eliminate her suffering. And in dependence upon this and considering how kind she has been to us, we develop the resolve to finally, I am going to eliminate my mother’s suffering. And this is a special resolve or exceptional resolve or special attitude that we develop. So, when we see our mother suffering and we cannot bear to see her suffering, so decide, I am going to take on the suffering of my mother. And we do this through a process that we do a visualization whereby we actually think that our mother’s suffering is coming to us in the form of a black smoke and it enters.
At our heart, we try to think that our self-cherishing is at our heart. And this black smoke, the suffering of our mothers, comes So, just imagine that your mother’s suffering in the form of black smoke comes to you and dissolves into the self-cherishing at your heart. And again, think of all the causes for your mother’s suffering, all her various afflictive emotions that she has which are bringing her suffering. We imagine those come in the form of black smoke and they also enter you and dissolve into the self-cherishing at your heart. We imagine that now my mother who has held me in great kindness again and again is separated from all suffering and the causes of suffering, and therefore, you meditate on a a feeling of joy arises.
So in the process of taking the object, we develop a compassion for the object. We take the object, develop compassion for it, seek to remove that suffering. And this is the taking. But, you know, we look at we look at our mother and we think, you know, that she wants happiness, but she she doesn’t have the happiness that she wants. And therefore, we do we