Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Opening with Śāntideva’s observation that beings constantly create suffering while seeking happiness, Geshe Pema Tsering dedicates this 45-minute session to the second classical method for developing bodhicitta: the exchange of self and others. He first builds the case against self-cherishing through a cascade of concrete examples — family arguments, warfare (using the then-recent Iraq conflict as a live illustration), illness from food, miserliness leading to rebirth as a hungry ghost — showing that every instance of harm, from a quarrel between partners to a war between nations, traces to one source. He then clarifies what “exchange” actually means: not literally becoming someone else, but gradually replacing a deeply entrenched habit of self-cherishing with the habit of cherishing all beings, with equanimity — the recognition that all beings equally want happiness and freedom from suffering — as the starting point. Suited to practitioners already familiar with renunciation and the seven-point cause-and-effect method covered in earlier sessions.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 09 D BC 2004 06 08.mp3
UUID: 470ec38d-e544-448a-85bd-8584b62a2e6e
Teacher: Geshe Pema Tsering
Collection: DB How to Develop Bodhichitta (Geshe Pema Tsering)
Date: 2004-06-08
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 45.0 minutes
Words: ~4,063
Oh, yeah. So in the guide to the bodhisattva’s way of life, Śāntideva said that seeking to be free of suffering without understanding we create the causes for suffering and seeking to find happiness without understanding we do not create the causes for happiness so even though we want to be happy and we don’t want to to experience suffering because we don’t understand properly what we’re doing, instead of creating the causes for happiness we create the causes for suffering. We want to be free from suffering but we don’t know the way to stop creating its causes. So if we think about it, that is actually the way that our our mind works. We have this desire to experience happiness and we have the desire to be free from suffering, but because of the way we go about it or the way we think about it, we do exactly the opposite.
We create the causes for suffering and don’t create causes for happiness. Now, the reason for this is that although we want to be happy, our understanding of happiness is based on an idea of self needing external things in order to be happy. And our understanding of how to be happy is to get things and experience things that will make the self happy instead of trying to create the causes for experiencing true happiness, which isn’t based on this idea of self. Right. And so all beings in this in are in this same situation.
Apart from when they’re asleep, they’re continually doing things. And they’re continually doing things in order to make themselves happy. So the purpose for everything all beings do is to make themselves happy, to make ourselves happy in some way. Even if we think about bugs and insects and things like that, they’re continually working apart from when they’re asleep to try and make themselves happy. It’s a continual process of saṃsāra, all beings are doing the same thing.
Nobody wants to experience suffering. Everybody wants to experience happy happiness. So everyone’s constantly working to try and make themselves happy. So they’re continually working for happiness, but they never actually achieve true happiness because in order to achieve true happiness, they still have to sever the cause for experiencing suffering, which is this idea that grasps itself. And so while they’re continually working for happiness based on a concept of self, they’re never going to achieve happiness.
So, all beings are in the same boat. All beings are in this constant process of trying to make themselves happy by constantly doing things, but they’re doing things based on this ignorance, which means they’re never going to experience happiness. They’re never going to create the causes for getting out of saṃsāra because they are constantly perpetuating the cause of saṃsāra by focusing on the self, and that means they’ll never attain liberation for themselves. And if they’re not even able to focus on their own liberation, then they’ve got even less chance of developing the causes for Buddhahood, that is, focusing on the happiness of others. So, in this way, unless beings develop an understanding of the lack of self, unless they develop an understanding of happiness through focusing on others, then they’re never going to achieve true happiness.
But they’re constantly striving for true happiness without this understanding. So if you think about it this way, it’s a really sad situation that all beings, including ourselves, are in in saṃsāra. So it’s not just ourselves that we have to think about in this situation. We can’t just think about trying to get ourselves out of this situation that makes us sad by its nature. We also have to think about how all other beings are in this situation.
We can’t actually look at the sufferings of other beings properly unless we can realize our own suffering first. Unless we realize our own situation, it’s difficult for us to extend that idea out to all other beings as well. So, first of all, we need to focus on the way we are, the way that saṃsāra exists, the type of suffering that’s in saṃsāra, the types of suffering that make up saṃsāra, and the way that true happiness is actually outside of that situation. So we have to develop that understanding. Once we’ve developed that understanding, we have to if we turn our focus around from self and look at others and see how they are suffering and they need to be released from suffering or need to be shown the way out of suffering, then we are able to develop the mind that is striving towards Buddhahood, which is another way of saying bodhicitta.
So we need to develop the idea of renunciation for ourselves from saṃsāra, not wanting to create the causes for saṃsāra ourselves before we can look at all sentient beings. So in this way, then we need to create the causes for us to achieve Buddhahood, so that we’ve understood our own suffering, we’ve understood others’ suffering, and we’re looking for a way out of that situation. If we’ve understood our own suffering and others’ suffering, then we think not only should these beings be free from suffering, but I’m going to take on the responsibility of liberating them from suffering myself. In order to do that, I need to become a Buddha. I’ve liberated myself first and I can show them how to get rid of suffering.
So may what I’m about to do be the cause for this to come about. We should try and develop this motivation. May what I’m about to do be the cause for me to become a Buddha and lead all sentient beings out of suffering. And so then, we have this idea that I’m about to perform a virtuous action by listening to the teachings and contemplating the teachings. So, if we think then that that action should be mixed in with the positive actions of all the five types of beings.
All the positive actions that the Arhats, the people who have gotten rid of all of their negative emotions have developed, the positive actions that the solitary realizers have done, of the positive actions of Bodhisattvas, all the positive actions of Buddhas, and all the positive actions of ordinary beings. We should think of all of those positive things and think that our tiny positive action we’re about to perform is blended in with all those positive actions, like water into water, so we can’t distinguish it out so there’s an enormous cause for us to become a Buddha if we’re focusing on all the virtuous actions of all these beings so we think may our action in conjunction with all the positive actions ever performed become a cause for us to achieve Buddhahood for the sake of all sentient beings. And we should meditate on that for a few minutes. Okay. So in order for us to achieve Buddhahood, we need two essential causes.
These two essential causes are both bodhicitta and the realization of emptiness. From amongst these we’re now looking at bodhicitta, which is essential for us to develop if we want to become a Buddha. So, there are two main ways that are described in order to help us develop a bodhicitta. That is the seven point cause and effect focusing on how beings have been our mothers, which we have already gone through. And the other way that we can develop a bodhicitta is through the exchange of self and others, the meditation process called the exchange of self and others, which we’re going to talk about this evening.
Okay. So now when we talk about the exchange of self and others, what it means by exchanging self and others isn’t that we turn ourselves into somebody else. What it’s actually talking about is that at the moment we have in our mind stream this idea of cherishing self that is very intense. We cherish ourselves in a very intense way. We don’t necessarily have a very developed understanding of cherishing others or like all other beings.
We consider ourselves to be very important and we may have some idea of cherishing others in our mind stream, but certainly not all beings and certainly not in a very developed way. We have a very developed sense of cherishing ourselves, but not a very developed sense of cherishing others. So, when it says exchanging self and others, we’re talking about exchanging that self-cherishing. You can’t exchange yourself for someone else because someone else is someone else and you are yourself, and it’s illogical to say you become someone else, and that’s not what’s happening. What’s happening is that the cherishing is changed around.
Instead of cherishing self, we start to look at cherishing others. Now, the basis for this meditation on exchange of self and others is a thing called equanimity again. So, equanimity we’re focusing on in this instance is that all beings, all other beings and ourselves included, want to experience happiness and don’t want to experience suffering. So we’re looking at a process by which we exchange our self-cherishing ideas, our idea that we consider ourselves very important for focusing on all other sentient beings. And this isn’t something that happens in an instant because actually when we develop this mind completely, and when we develop this completely, we achieve bodhicitta.
And the mind that focuses on others and gives up self-cherishing is one way of looking at bodhicitta, the mind of enlightenment. So, it s not something that happens It s something that we have to put a lot of effort into developing and we need to work on a lot in order to even want to develop it because our self-cherishing mind is so entrenched. We need to come up with lots of reasons why we would want to start cherishing others instead of ourselves. So, first of all, to give ourselves enough reasons to start on this process, we look at the faults of cherishing ourselves and the qualities of cherishing others. Now, the first thing that we need to look at is in terms of numbers.
We say self and others. We talk about stop cherishing self and start cherishing others. But others doesn’t mean some vague notion of a couple of other people. When we’re talking about others, we’re talking about all beings, all creatures that experience a sense of suffering and want to get rid of that suffering. So, in this way, we see that the numbers are incredibly disproportionate.
On the one hand, through cherishing ourselves, we’re trying to help one person and make sure one person’s happy. If we turn that around and start focusing on all other beings, then we’re doing a lot more to help a lot more people than if we were just focusing on ourselves. When we talk about self-cherishing, we’re basically saying who we like the best, who we’re focusing on the best, who we want to help the best. So at the moment, we tend to be focusing on ourselves with that. We’re thinking, how can I help myself?
But through turning our perspective around, we can look at all beings and think, how do I help them? So in this way, we can see that there’s a lot of positive things that can come about from cherishing others because our focus is much broader and we’re looking at all beings instead of just one person one being. Now the negative thing about cherishing self, the reason why we need to get rid of this idea of cherishing self instead of cherishing others, is because self-cherishing is the reason we’ve experienced suffering since beginning of this time to now. So, fault that ever existed can be blamed on self-cherishing. Everything, every type of suffering that ever existed comes from self-cherishing.
Every experience, a negative experience we inflict on others comes from self-cherishing. Every time we’ve ever been killed different lifetimes, if we’ve been killed, if we’ve been poisoned, if we’ve been stolen from, if we’ve been disparaged, if we’ve experienced life in the hell realms, if we’ve had to be burnt, any of these things all come from our self-cherishing Because through self-cherishing, we have created lots of negative karma and the results of that negative karma are these different types of suffering. So the faults of negative karma are enormous and uncountable, and every instance of suffering comes about because of this idea of self-cherishing. So the causes for being born in the the lower realms, the causes for being born in the hells as a as a hungry ghost or a spirit or an animal are all self-cherishing. The cause of being born in the hells is to kill, right?
And the idea that we kill with is self-cherishing. Even if this is just animals we’re killing, we’re killing animals in order to get their meat because we want to eat their meat, and we’re not thinking of them, we’re thinking of self in terms of eating the meat. We kill animals because we want to sell their meat and make money from them. So, we’re not thinking of them. We’re thinking of us.
And these all end up to be causes for us to be born in hell, is this continual killing. If that’s the main actions in our life, that’s how we end up in hell. Now, if we are miserly, we’re not thinking of others by being miserly. We keep all our money to ourselves and we never give anything away, then again, we’re thinking of self again, and we’re thinking of how to protect ourselves and not thinking of how we can help others. This miserliness or this greed is a cause for being born as a hungry ghost who is constantly in a state of grasping towards things.
Also, anything that we have even as a human, where we’re constantly any type of suffering that we have is something that has come about because of our self-cherishing by cherishing ourselves and inflicting harm on others. That’s how we perform negative actions. So by focusing on how we ourselves can get the benefit, can get a profit or benefit from a situation and how we can rip others off in one way or another, whether it’s through killing them or through stealing from them or through conning them into getting something off them, we’re constantly creating the causes for the experience of suffering and doing it for our own benefit through this idea of self-cherishing. So, that happens as a human as well. Many of the times, our greed for food can create illnesses in us.
Have this idea that I’m making myself happy by eating these different things and that can create illnesses in us. Can get very sick from the food we eat and we’re constantly focusing on food because of our attachment and our self-cherishing. Then, also, when we’re trying to get money off people, can be a cause for us to end up in jail or in court or whatever it is, because we’ve done something that annoys people in charge so much that they’ll take us to court or put us in jail. Again, the result of our self-cherishing is that we end up in a situation where we’re suffering. And then also, if we look at all of the different everything from personal arguments up to the full out wars in between countries, full on wars in between countries, all of that comes about from self-cherishing.
If one king or one ruler of a country decides to make war with someone else or another country, it’s because of self-cherishing. The reason for starting any of these fights that they have or any of the wars they start is because of themselves or their country over someone else or someone else’s country. And even down to arguments between partners, anytime they argue it’s because they’re cherishing themselves over their partner. They’re thinking of how to make themselves happy instead of someone else. And even my parents and children, they argue for the same reason.
If there’s a fight going on, is if there’s a fight going on somewhere, it’s because of someone self grasping. So if there was no self grasping, there would be no arguments. There would be no fights. If someone was able to say, it doesn’t worry me. Whatever.
Whatever you want to do, that’s fine. And then to make yourself happy, there’s no difference to me because don’t, I’m not grasping onto an idea of self and it’s not going to upset me, then there’s no fight to be had there. The fight is neutralized, the arguments are neutralized. And so, if there is like a tension between someone’s self-grasping and another person’s self-grasping, then there is a fight. Every time that you have a disagreement over something, it’s because there’s someone grasping onto self or someone cherishing self over others.
If you watch the way the bodhisattvas behave, then they’re constantly giving to others and not having this idea of self self-cherishing, then the fights become dissolved. So if we look at the situation in the world today, then we’ve just seen a war between America and Iraq, which basically came down to self-cherishing. If Saddam Hussein hadn’t had extreme self-cherishing and decided Iraq wasn’t good enough for him, he needed Kuwait as well, then the war wouldn’t have started then. If he hadn’t been suffering from extreme self-cherishing, he wouldn’t have been going around killing everybody in Iraq. If there was no self-cherishing on the American side, they wouldn’t have invaded.
And through their self they managed to get a whole bunch of people killed. There’s all these people who were killed because of the self-cherishing involved that led up this situation. In Samsāra, it may be easy to see how that happened in that situation, but in saṃsāra we really need to recognise the self-cherishing that’s going on in our own minds as well. If we start watching the way our minds work, then we’ll notice that most of the things that we think are thoughts based on self-cherishing. So that’s that’s the way it is in terms of nations, right?
There’s always fighting going on between these different people. But we don’t need to look at things on such a vast scale in order to see how destructive self-cherishing is. If we look at the way our families work, then we’ll see that any instances of argument or fighting within families, whether it’s between partners or between parents and children, all of this comes down to basically self-cherishing. If someone thinks, I’m uncomfortable in this situation or something s wrong for me, I don feel quite right, then that s how arguments start. They always trying to make things that are right for themselves.
If they had this idea of completely not caring what happened to them and focusing on the happiness of others, then there would be nothing to fight about. If there wasn’t a sense of cherishing self and thinking, I’m this needs to be about me, ‘ there would be nothing to fight about. So whether it’s between parents and children, whether it’s between partners, all of these things come about through All of these arguments basically based on self-cherishing. So even if it’s something that we may think the reason for reason for some kind of suffering to come about is obvious. So for example, if someone was to eat food with poison in it and was to die or become ill from that food, then the first thing that we’re going to look at is say, okay, it was the food that did it, or it’s the poison in the food that made that person sick.
But in actual fact, if there hadn’t been the causes created for that person to be sick, there wouldn’t have been any illness that came about. So, if we want to know what the true poison is or what the thing that actually made us sick was, it was the self-cherishing. And even if we think about the way we approach the food, so there was the desire to be happy through eating the food, which made us focus on self and trying to be happy, and therefore it’s like it could have been the desire for the food that caused us to experience illness. So any of the illnesses we may have from anything that we ingest actually comes from our self-cherishing, either through the causes or through the actual acting as the actual cause. And it’s the same if we think that we’re going to get may think that we’re going to be better off because if we try and trick people into giving us money or we use deceit in order to make a living, we may think, this is going to work because I’m going to get the money and I’m going to be happy.
But it isn’t. It’s again self-cherishing, not thinking of others, not thinking of how we’re confusing others into giving us money or tricking them. Even though we may get money in the short term, we’re actually creating more causes for suffering than we are getting any happiness. We may be thinking we’re making ourselves happy, but we’re actually making ourselves miserable. We’re creating the causes for not only saṃsāra, but also misery in saṃsāra.
So, this whole idea that we can help ourselves out, or we can help ourselves by cherishing, or we can make ourselves experience happiness by cherishing self is faulty by its nature. It’s a mistaken concept. It’s a mistaken idea. We’ve taken something that doesn’t inherently exist, being self, as if it truly exists. It’s because we’re basing all our reasoning and all our actions on this misunderstanding, it means that we’re not going to actually create the causes for true happiness, because everything we do, we do in a mistaken manner.
So we also make this mistake when we try and hurt other people physically and think that through doing that, then we’re going to get some kind of profit or benefit for ourselves. So if we if we start using weapons, so Okay. So, anyway, so if we start using bows and arrows and spears and everything, I guess most people don’t use them these days and I saw it on the television, they’re using it. So they are using it, just not around here. Okay, whether we use them or Okay.
So, if people are using spears or bows and arrows or guns or bombs or whatever they’re doing, they’re doing this with the attitude that by using these weapons that they’re actually going to benefit in some way, right? That by destroying their enemies, they’re actually going to benefit in some way. But the mistake is in their self grasping because they think that there’s something that they’re going to benefit from by cherishing themselves and getting rid of others, right? So, in this way, through this mistake, through thinking the weapons are going to help them, they’re actually creating the causes for suffering. So, here we have again another example of how self-cherishing does it does nothing but harm, sorry, and doesn’t bring happiness in any way.
self-cherishing becomes so intense that people, if they think it’s gonna give them a benefit or some kind of happiness or help themselves in this life, they’ll even start fights or harm their teachers or their abbots or their parents or their relatives or their friends. If there’s something they think is going to help them, they’ll even harm these people that they should be considering very important. So in general, if we think about it in general, we’ve been cherishing ourselves since beginningless time. Right? So we’ve been walking around with this idea that we’re very important and if we keep working on helping ourselves, we’re going to be happy in some way.
But we’ve been trying it up until now and nothing has we haven’t experienced one instance of happiness through self-cherishing. self-cherishing, or considering ourselves to be important, hasn’t given us one moment of happiness. Any moment of happiness we have has come through cherishing others or helping others.