Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Speech can be like honey, like flowers, or like excrement — Nāgārjuna’s analogy anchors Geshe Pema Tsering’s 74-minute exploration of the chapter on giving up harsh words in the 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva. He unpacks what qualifies as harsh speech, making the counterintuitive point that even gentle words pointing out another’s fault count as harsh if they provoke anger — the damage being to the listener’s store of virtue. The underlying cause, he explains, is always one of the three poisons. One carefully argued exception: firm words delivered with purely benevolent intent, as a parent corrects a child, do not fall into this category. The session closes with a practical Q&A on handling aggressive people: investigate your own mind first; if you bear no fault, cultivate patience rather than retaliate. Suited to practitioners actively working with Bodhisattva vows.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 2008 08 03 37 PoB.mp3
UUID: 660a9f06-8be9-43d0-9efe-1f1e1b2d4c03
Teacher: Geshe Pema Tsering
Collection: 37 practices of a Bodhisattva (Geshe Pema Tsering)
Date: 2008-08-03
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 74.4 minutes
Words: ~4,509
So, Geshe-la is asking us to give rise to good motivation. Geshe-la says that all our actions are determined. The quality of all our actions are determined by our motivations. So it’s important that we give rise to proper good motivation, constructive motivation, so we should then develop the intention of benefiting of the intention of establishing all sentient beings in the state of enlightenment. In order to accomplish the enlightenment of all sentient beings, we ourselves must attain enlightenment.
In order to accomplish that, we are going to study and practice according to the teachings of mind training. And in this way we give rise to good motivation. So then we start with the with the preliminary prayers. We start with the Heart Sūtra. Okay.
And we move on to the next page. Extensive dispelling of hindrances. I and also around the sentient beings go for refuge to Buddha, go for refuge to Dharma, go for refuge to Sangha. We prostrate to the great mother, Prajñāpāramitā, surrounded by all the children, by the assemblies of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas of the ten directions. By depending on my prostrations to all of you, may these words of truth be actualized.
In the past, the deva king Indra dispelled the Maras by reflecting on the profound meaning of the wisdom gone beyond and reciting the profound words in daily recitation. In that same way, I also reflect on the profound meaning of the great mother, Prajñāpāramitā, and recite the profound words in daily recitation. May all diseases, spirit possessions, bad conditions, all the negative directions that which happens due to past karma and immediate conditions, may all these be dispelled, may become nonexistent, may be pacified. So we start again with different chapters today. The the the title of the chapter is giving up uttering harsh words.
And Geshe-la was going through the the root verse that reads, harsh words disturb the minds of others and cause the bodhisattvas conduct to degenerate. Therefore, it is the practice of bodhisattvas to give up harsh words which are unpleasant for others. Geshe-la is briefly, brushing through the the verse. First, Geshe-la was explaining what are these so called harsh words. And harsh words are any words which are unpleasant to people, which are which disturb people, which irritate people, which annoy people.
So any words that that fall under this definition will be class as harsh words. And should avoid speaking harsh words because they make people irritated, make people get angry, they make people lose their temper and so forth. And that is not only something bad in itself, but as someone who is trying to engage in the Bodhisattva conduct, that is also damaging of vows and commitments in order because one had the vows and the commitments to benefit all sentient beings. And again, that that contradicts those vows, those commitments. So again, it is a Bodhisattva practice to avoid speaking harsh words in this way.
And again, Geshe-la, I just went for the second half of the verse again. For those reasons for those reasons that were stipulated, because it it irritates people, it disturbs people, and because it degenerates one’s Bodhisattva conduct. Again, for those reasons, we do not say unpleasant words or or words which are displeasing to others. And this is the practice of Bodhisattvas. And then Geshe-la was going through the commentary and reading through the saying again, if one has any fault without investigating one’s speech and one allows one’s faulty speech to come forth and speaks not just harsh words but the word there is an expression here that says extremely harsh words.
By the force of that, people’s minds get disturbed if one acts in this way or other people’s mind get disturbed. So it is it is in in as a bodhisattvas, as a a son or or as a child of the victors, literally speaking, the prince or princess of the victors. Again, the speech one’s speech should be smooth, gentle. One’s speech should be gentle. It should be thoughtful.
It should be considerate. Is that coming forward? And this is how one’s one bodhisattva should behave in this good way and in a very thoughtful manner. Allowing one if that is the kind of bodhisattva, allowing one then to speak, to say harsh words, again, it is it is a great fault. So Geshe-la goes back to the commentary and Geshe-la emphasizes the word which is translated as investigate.
One should watch over what is going on in one’s mind, what is it that one intends to speak and not speak anything which is harsh because as the text is telling us, if we speak something which is extremely harsh, other people’s minds will get disturbed. And that’s what we want to avoid. We want to avoid harm to other people. So I and again, Geshe-la will go briefly for the the second half of the comment. Everything again is a bodhisattva.
And as for the speech of bodhisattvas, that that has to be gentle. It has to be soft. It has to be very thoughtful. Something that people will understand, so that has to be meaningful. So and this is this is the conduct.
This is the way that that Vosatas conduct themselves in a in a a good way, in a in a good way. And if one can give in to harsh words, what this this conduct degenerates, and one’s vows degenerate together with it. And so because of that, it is a great fault. So for this reason then, when we are talking with someone else, we should investigate, we should watch over our minds and see, give up, let go of any intention to speak words which are not which are going which are going to be displeasing to the other, which are going to upset the other. And also, yeah, which are going to be displeasing and upsetting the other.
And this is one’s practice as a Bodhisattva. This is what one should be practicing. So again, Geshe lah is saying, usually what we do is that we speak whatever comes to our minds without investigating, without seeing how that may affect the other person or the other people who are talking with. So again, this is what we are being told to avoid. We should instead investigate our minds, watch over it, and see what is going to be most beneficial to say.
Geshe-la is saying, there are even occasions when even we might not be using any explicitly harsh words, we might be using actually some very nice and gentle words, but still we are pointing out someone else’s faults. And maybe that person is not able to to listen to us, to listen to what we are saying. And if the person gets angry with us, even though we are not saying any harsh words, the person still gets angry with us. And and in this context, that’s what it is. In this context, even though those were soft words, those gentle words, but because it upset that person, then it is classed as harsh words.
And the the the fault here is that a person got angry with us, and when that person got angry with us, when we cause that person to get angry with us, we cause that person to destroy his or hers collections positive energy and virtues. This is our fault. This is the fault that we are incurring because we have caused them to destroy their collection of virtues, their collection of positive energies. And guess the last question, on the other hand, if we are able to speak, to say gentle words, which are which are which will make that person or the other party happy. And, again, that that happiness is virtue, and then we are causing and will be the cause of that virtue.
So we both benefit immensely, and oneself benefits greatly by acting in this way. And then we have quote from the collection of knowledge, which says harsh words are those that are unpleasant. And that is to say the the the commentary comes saying all all these harsh harsh words words are words which are done on the basis of of having a harmful intent, motivated by harmful intent, which are of of people who who have given rise to any of the three poisons of of attachment, aversion, and and ignorance. And then they speak these unpleasant words, these unpleasant words which irritate people, which which make people angry. So, again, Geshe-la goes back to that to the commentary pointing out the word that is translated as as harmful intent.
Geshe-la was just making absolutely clear. Harmful intent is the intention to retaliate when we dislike someone or we hate someone or we say that person has harmed me, I want to hurt that person back. We on the basis of this harmful intent motivated by any of the three poisons of of attachment, aversion, and ignorance, again, we say harsh words. And Geshe-la was then just giving us a brief list of of Tibetan words which are considered harsh words, such as, you know, being stupid or being a beggar and stuff like that. And and Geshe-la is pointing out to the again, pointing out to the fact that this this harsh speech is enunciated whilst motivated by any of the three poisons.
So it is we are either motivated by attachment when we say something harsh to another, or we are motivated by by hatred or anger or aversion when we say something unpleasant to another. And we’re or we are either motivated or we’re motivated by by ignorance when we say something unpleasant to another. And and if if if we’re not motivated by any of the three poisons or by any affliction derived from it, then we wouldn’t say anything harsh in the first place. We are taught that there are different ways to say something harsh. We we say something harsh which is true, or we can say something harsh which is untrue, and there are many different ways.
Geshe-la was explaining, for example, we can call a person who is actually a thief a thief, and even though it is true what we are saying, you see that person will be upset when we say that. Or we call somebody who is not a thief a thief. And then of course the person will be upset when we say that. So is it true or untrue? And still, in both occasions, it is still harsh speech because the person is getting upset, the person is getting angry with us.
And again, Geshe-la explains, this is the way we think. We think that, again, if we say, if we call somebody a thief who is not a thief, then that is bad. But if we call somebody a thief who is a thief, then that is alright because it’s the truth. But the fact is if that person is getting angry with with us as, that person is damaging, is harming him or herself by destroying the the collections of virtue, and and this is a negativity. And also, Geshe-la’s point, the the commentary goes on to say that also we can we can say something harsh or we can express something harsh in relation to the three doors of body, speech, mind.
So Geshe-la was gonna say for one one point, one easy way of understanding is that we can point out the faults of some someone’s body and say, oh, that that this person has this or that shortcoming or that fault, and that and that might make them upset. Or or their speech or their minds. We can say, oh, the person has a very bad intentions or a bad character and so forth. On the other way, we can, through our own body, speech and mind, express something harsh. We can start physically acting in ways which make it known that we think of someone else as a thief.
Know, and we behave in a certain way that makes makes it known and and that can be offensive. And also, we can, you know, we can say something and we can think in in in this way also. And then and then again, the the text makes reference to, for example, the ethical conduct or moral conduct and other practices or other virtuous practices. Again, and if we explicitly, you know, and directly point out the faults and the shortcomings of of someone’s ethical conduct and saying that that the person is not keeping his or her vows properly, this or that vow, and so forth. Or even implicitly, we can say something implicit, or we can say something indirectly.
We can start saying saying that to other people, or we we we make it implicit in our in our discourse, in our in our speech. Again, when we start say doing such things and that upsets someone, then, again, that is harsh speech, Geshe-la. And then Geshe-la is explaining the next sentence as saying that there are occasions when we how do you say we can say can say something which is harsh but because we are motivated with a benevolent mind an intention to benefit, then it might not it does it does not fall it does not fall under the category of harsh speech or or, yeah, harsh words. And Geshe-la is explaining, for example, take one’s parents admonishing one’s one’s child. Again, if the child is misbehaving and then parent was gonna say, know, that you behave yourself in a very harsh, in a very strong, firm way.
Still, that is harsh, but because the intention is to, you know, you know, protect the child and and benefit the child, then it is not is not harmful. Okay? And then and Geshe-la is giving an illustration of another occasion still where even though we might say something, we use we might use words which are not harsh in and of themselves, but because of our of our motivations, they become their their meaning the meaning becomes harsh. So even though and, Geshe-la was just giving a simple illustration. For example, take somebody who drinks who drinks drinks beer or drinks alcohol.
And if we say, oh, you you that person drink beer or you drink beer and you’re a very bad person, and that that is upsetting. But if we say with with a sarcastic tone and we say, oh, you you drink beer. You’re such a good person. And if we say something like that, so that what what occurs to to the person who is listening to us is that, you know, they’re gonna feel bad about it. They know that’s what’s what’s what’s happening.
So still, even though the the words are being used are not harsh in and of themselves because of of the intention of the intention that we have, it becomes it becomes hurtful. It becomes harmful. And and still and and still Geshe-la goes back to that to that commentary to the end of that verse and says only if one has only benefit in one’s mind, then those one’s words will not be even though they might look or sound harsh, they’re not gonna be harmful. So they’re not going to be falling on on this category of of harsh harsh speech as as in the case of one trying to protect one’s child and trying to benefit one’s child. And we are just told then in the next sentence that there are many accounts in the sutras, in the teachings of of the Buddha on about about actions and the results.
And so there are many accounts within these topics which explain the the many faults that arise out of engaging in in harsh speech. Oh, yeah. So and then we we read a quote from the Compendium of Trainings, which is one one of the text composed by Śāntideva. And this this quote goes something like this. Nobody should utter words that harms sentient beings.
The same is the case with words that cause anguish or are unpleasant or So, again, Geshe-la points goes back into into that part of the verse that he has read pointing out to the words which cause anguish, words which are unpleasant, words which are which are painful. Again Geshe-la wasn’t saying so every word which falls under under under these categories, again, should be avoided. We shouldn’t shouldn’t pronounce. And, Geshe-la, the rest of the verse, again, saying having given up such mistaken ways of expression, one must always be gentle and without frivolousness. And then we have another quote from the the Supreme Continuum which reads, that which comes first for our bodhisattva with respect to benefiting all sentient beings is is a pleasant speech.
And again, Geshe-la is explaining because what bodhisattva has in mind at all times is the benefit of all sentient beings. Because of that, bodhisattva does not utter harsh words. So he only utter words which are beneficial, which are pleasant, or which are beneficial. And we have we have another quote from the Bodhisattva way of life, and this quote reads something like this. These two words two lines.
When speaking, I should speak appropriately and and I should speak the truth with clear meaning and pleasantly. And then we and then, again, we follow we follow that quote from the Bodhisattva way of life with another quote from the Letter to a Friend by Nāgārjuna. From Nāgārjuna, which says the victorious one said that there is pleasant speech, true speech, and false speech. The words of all sentient beings are like honey, like flowers, and like excrement. Among these among these three ways of speaking, give up the last.
And so, again, the commentary to that is basically saying the same thing. Say again, know, bodhisattvas should should say all beings have these three ways of speaking. They can say something which is meaningful. They can say something which is meaningful or which is pleasant, something which is true, and something which is false. And and again, we we should, like honey, we we we can say something which is pleasant.
Like a flower, we can say something which is which is true. And like excrement, can say something which is false. And again, all that being said is that we should avoid, we should adopt the first two ways of speaking, the first two forms of speech, and we should give up. We should let go of of the last form of speech, which is like excrement. And then again, just just Geshe-la, just brush us through these three analogies and say again, so honey is something sweet that everybody likes.
Flowers are beautiful and and and pleasant to to see. And excrement is something which is which every everyone is disgusted with. So, again, the same way, you know, with this pleasant words is something that everybody likes. Truthful words is is, again, is some something which in which everybody delights. And and false words is is something which, again, disgusts everybody.
Mhmm. Then we have a quote from Lama Atisha which says, those words that are unpleasant to the minds of others, a wise one throws them far away. And then we continue with another quote from Lama Atisha saying, always smiling and with a mind full of love, speak well and without anger. And we have another quote from Geshe Kharakpa which says do not cast the poisonous arrow of harsh words. Give up anger, which is an evil state of mind.
And Geshe-la was just saying again this this this evil state of mind, which is anger. So that basically, this is the fundamental thing that we have to give up. The most important thing that we have to give up with regards to this to this topic. And then we have also another quote from Geshe Chekawa. Geshe Chekawa saying never get caught in cycles of retaliation and never strike at the heart.
And we have the commentary explaining again, never never retaliate, never return harsh words for harsh words. If somebody says something bad about you, don’t don’t go on don’t get caught up in anger and then retaliate against saying the same saying harsh words again. And also, never strike at the heart. Again, never never go on saying extremely harsh words, cursing and and proclaiming the faults proclaiming the faults of people out loud and in public and so forth. And we we we reach the the conclusion of this of this chapter as we’ve ever all the chapter, we we have this quote from Gyelsay Togmey himself.
And the first quote from Gyelsay Togmey is saying, much talk may produce bad karma. And just saying to that little expression, just saying that we Yeah. Yeah. We usually don’t don’t think any anything ill of of just or just talking. We we think that no no evil can come out of that.
But the fact is that still many many nonvirtues are produced whilst we are chitchatting away. And we have another another little expression from Gyelsay Togmey saying, cannot use a bad expression against anyone. And then we are told that Gyelsay Togmey himself, he he also on top of of of acting in these ways that he himself has advised, he also would never just call anybody simply by his or her name. He would always refer to people either as as their their teachers or or their lamas or or how to say, mentor and so forth. And even his servant, attendant, not his servant, his attendant, which is called dasang.
Again, he would he would call him teacher Dasang. And then we have we have this, like I mentioned, these four dharmas, which is examining one’s confusion so that it may be dispelled and so forth up up to this topic, to this present topic of not uttering harsh words. There’s this four Dharma practices. Again, they are all to be found in the sūtra that inspires the supreme intention. And then we have a quote, a long quote from this sūtra, this sūtra.
And so then we have we have from this sūtra, we have Maitreya. If a person of the bodhisattva vehicle is endowed with the four dharmas, he or she will, at the time of the destruction of the dharma in the last five hundred years, be free of harm and injury, and become blissfully liberated. What are these what are these four dharmas? To analyze one’s own confusion, not to expose the force of other individuals of the bodhisattva vehicle, not to regard the residences of your friends, benefactors, sponsors, etcetera, as sources for alms, and to give up uttering unpleasant harsh words. And Geshe-la is pointing out, we have gone through all these topics already.
Geshe-la is saying how difficult, just these four practices, how difficult they are to be accomplished, to be practiced. So the first one of those is to examine one’s own confusion so that we don’t engage in any mistakes. And again, just that alone is extremely difficult so that we examine our confusion and dispel it. It’s that’s already immensely difficult to accomplish in and of itself. And and Geshe-la was pointing out to the fact that we have already gone through all the the the implications of of all the disadvantages of not examining one’s confusion and all the advantages of and all the benefits of of acting according to the instruction, examining one’s confusion, dispelling it.
And then also not pointing out, proclaiming the faults of of or or the people engaged in the vehicle. Again, there is no way we we can tell as ordinary beings that we are. There’s no way we can tell who is and who is not a Bodhisattva. So there is, again, this great, great danger that we that we incur every time we are pointing out the faults of someone. And we have this, the third one of those practices which is not to regard the friends’ and families’ households as sources of alms, not to be attached to their possessions and to their belongings and to the and to the money and food that they give to us.
And again, Geshe-la was saying, this is maybe compared to the to the other practices a bit easier to accomplish. And then next one, Geshe-la was saying again, this last one, again, which is also very difficult for us to practice is not to say to to give up uttering harsh words. Again, this is very difficult also. Third. Okay.
Today’s a terrible day. One, two. Three. We’ll be finishing three or four more weeks, we’ll finish this. Yeah.
Two more Sundays. This is in in two weeks? So there’s not much that we can do. Guess I was first first question, I wouldn’t say you have to ex excuse yourself. Always say sorry, sorry.
But but seriously, Geshe-la was saying that what you all can do in these situations is to cultivate patience. So it’s it is this this this you know, specific circumstances which are a bit difficult to handle, you have to see, use your own discriminating powers and and and see what what is going to be beneficial to to be said or done. If in such instances, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to say something firm or harsh that will be of any benefit. And in in many instances, basically, all what you can do is excuse yourself. And guess what I was just saying, the whole point is is that you don’t do not give in to anger.
If if they are aggressive people, if if they have their their problems and they are angry with that, as long as you are not the cause of that anger, know, so the whole point is that you do not get angry. The whole point, Geshe-la was pointing out in the beginning, you have to see your own mind, investigate the whole situation for yourself with your own discriminating powers, exercise them, and see if there is anything that you have done. And and if you have, then, of course, excuse yourself. And if you haven’t, then, you know, cultivate patience. Then that means do not give into anger.
Do not allow yourself to be affected negatively by that. So again if you get angry yourself then you have to handle it yourself. Into it and handle it yourself. If they are getting angry, do without your contribution, it’s because they have their own problems, and and it’s their responsibility to sort it out. Yeah.
Anyone else? Is that okay? I’m sorry. Would you would you read the dedication prayers, please?