Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 43-minute session, Geshe Dhawa Gyaltsen teaches the bodhisattva path through the six perfections—beginning with generosity, ethics, and patience—reframing each in grounded, accessible terms. Ethics becomes alignment with basic sanity and decency rather than external rules or guilt. Patience develops as the mental agility to remain undistressed in adversity, with particular emphasis on viewing difficult people and adversaries as invaluable teachers. He explores how these practices are concrete techniques for gradually rewriting our self-identity away from self-concern toward genuine engagement with others’ welfare. The teaching closes with meditation instructions for cultivating love and compassion.
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File: 09 H and M of A.mp3
UUID: 1d9511dc-3a26-4fa4-8f5a-de469fce0edd
Teacher: Geshe Dhawa Gyaltsen
Collection: The Heart and Mind of Awakening 1996 Jul-Sep (Geshe Dhawa Gyaltsen)
Date: 1996 (exact day not recorded)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Duration: 43.6 minutes
Words: ~5,381
As we usually do in terms of this necessary process of readjusting our motivation again and again and again and keep getting ourselves back on track, back in line with ways of thinking, ways of behaving that might better reflect what we would want for ourselves in our life. And like the saying goes, unless you change your direction you’re likely to end up where you’re headed. And then again and again asking ourselves, you know, where is it exactly that we’re headed? Where is our overall thinking, our overall behavior, our basic emotions and basic attitudes about the world, about people around us, what it is that we want, where is it going to take us, what’s it going to get us. And what are we wishing for more or less?
The thing about wishing is that it’s not that we don’t get what we wish, but quite often we do. And it turns out to be not what we wanted in the first place. So beginning to question and to analyze what actually within our own real lived experience brings meaning to my life. A sense of well-being, a sense of connectedness, a sense of it’s all worthwhile. You know, a self-validating way of being.
We don’t have to justify ourselves even to ourselves. It just feels right at a very deep level of our being. And this process of orientating ourselves, going for refuge, you know, maybe we’re all going for refuge one way or another in some form or another whether consciously or unconsciously, whether passively or actively. We’re all seeking some sort of protection, some kind of trying to create some kind of sanctuary for ourselves, some kind of protectorate zone of safety, something that we can avail ourselves of, make use of — someone or something that’s going to take away the pain, make our life worthwhile for ourselves, bring us what it is that we want. And beginning to check up — is my refuge working or not.
You know, maybe we have to begin to either try harder because we have found the direction that is meaningful to ourselves, that is working, we’re beginning to try differently — to find another refuge. I’ve been talking about the general refuge formula that we recite. Here, you know, before a talk we recite the refuge formula where it says, to the creative potential of my listening to the Dharma. But quite often if you’re doing a practice, if you’re doing a meditation, the general refuge formula is first, you know, becoming aware, recognizing, creating some kind of acknowledgment in our own mind. What are we going for refuge to?
You know, the Buddha, Dharma and the spiritual community, or the Supreme Community. And we go for refuge until we don’t need it anymore, till we become a refuge ourselves, for ourselves and for others. And that, you know, we try to raise the level of why we are involved in this process. And we actually have to do something in terms of helping ourselves but also in helping others. You know, our practice — the motivation behind our practice — becomes more and more other-centered.
There’s a shift in the psychological center of gravity from exaggerated self concern with ourselves, which is probably where the only reality which most of us recognize at present is, to one other-centered in us where we begin to see that our fulfillment lies very much in terms of our working for the welfare of others and dedicating our life to their well-being. And we do this in a very practical fashion. In this fashion it’s called the six perfections, the six transcendental practices. And we began to talk about this last week, about giving just a very abbreviated idea about the six — I don’t know whether they’re perfections or transcendental practices, but anyway, as long as you get an idea what they might be. And these are the principal practices of a bodhisattva.
You know, someone who has awakened their heart to all living beings and is seeking highest awakening for their sake. And first it has an aspirational aspect, you know, just like a wishing — like thinking it would be wonderful to go to a concert, or maybe I have to go shopping — as opposed to actually, you know, getting in the car or getting on the bus and actually going, doing something very practical to realize your goal. And likewise, you know, it’s not enough simply to aspire, but that’s a very necessary and profound beginning. But then we actually have to do something. We have to put our aspirations into practice.
You know, if we’re going to actually develop the ability to respond — which is the real meaning of taking responsibility — to actually be able to in some way help others, to be of greater use to others through developing our own selves, our own skills, our own understanding. So we do this, the bodhisattva does this, through the practice of the six perfections or the six transcendental practices. You know, through the creative potential of my practicing generosity and the other perfections. May I achieve the state of the Buddha for the sake of all living beings? So generosity.
We talked about that briefly yesterday. Essentially a process of letting go, the letting go of non-attachment. A letting go, giving up of mine — my possessions, territory, my privacy, my security, my knowledge. All of these, you know, giving up of having to hold onto ourselves so tightly and to keep securing our well-being as if sentient beings were in some way a threatening element in our environment and we have to be on guard constantly against them. You know, giving up our centralized approach to our relationships, giving up anything that we identify with, the means by which we can continue to hold on to ourselves, this tightening of our heart.
You know, it’s difficult to be loving all the time, but it’s more difficult never to love at all, never to open our heart at all. So, you know, though it may be a long journey for all of us, we should attempt to begin it and should attempt every day to keep the process ongoing. An ongoing process of awakening our hearts to others, caring about others, being concerned and sensitive to their needs, and actually perhaps doing what we can. What we can is in terms of the six perfections — first by giving what we can. Whether it’s in terms of the giving of materials, the giving of money or time or energy, or the giving of protection from those who have fear for one reason or another, or the giving of Dharma, for example, you know, through sharing with others your knowledge of the spiritual path of Buddhism, whatever of teaching.
The second perfection or transcendental practice is that of ethics or morality. You know, whatever word works best for you. So, you know, it’s again, there’s a general conception about what morality is. And quite often it sounds rather heavy-handed. You know, perhaps most of us have been unfortunate enough to have had an association with our upbringing in terms of religion.
It was something which did a lot of violence to us or was oppressive in some ways. So, you know, even the idea of morality sounds borderline — hair shirts and ascetic practices and hurting ourselves and denying ourselves in some way. But morality or ethics is not a matter of binding ourselves to some fixed set of rules or some prescriptive ways of being. The emphasis in a practice of ethics is on aligning ourselves with our own basic sanity, with our own basic decency. You know, this is what ethics is aiming toward.
You know, if we can do this by cultivating positive states, by cultivating and involving ourselves in skillful actions. It involves thinking and behaving in ways which are conducive to pacifying our mind. You know, the word in terms of Sanskrit is Śīla, in terms of Pali also Śīla. And it literally — this is the word which is translated into English as ethics or morality — but it really literally means cooling.
You know, like cooling the heat of our own neurosis, the fire of our delusion. You know, this burning sensation. You know, there’s a sense — you know — it’s difficult because, you know, you talk about the term guilt. And, really, guilt more often than not has been corrupted to the sense where it is simply a means of oppressing us, I think, by institutions. But there is a quality of natural guilt, which is the sense of having missed the mark.
We haven’t been true to something. We’re out of alignment with something very deep inside of ourselves which makes us feel ill at ease, which is there’s a disharmony at the depth of our being. This is really the quality of guilt. And it is in acting in ways which are conducive to reharmonizing ourselves, realigning ourselves with our own basic sanity, our own basic decency and intelligence, which is the practice of ethics. One of bringing about a harmony, a balance, a realignment.
The discipline of not indulging in all the dysfunctional patterns that we normally — that normally dominate our thinking and our behaving. So ethics is about aligning ourselves with our own basic sanity and decency through positive ways of thinking, skillful ways of acting. It involves the discipline of not indulging. You know, not allowing these dysfunctional patterns of our mind to dominate ourselves, to begin to resist, to take a stand against them. We are not our patterns.
We needn’t have them. Though we might identify with them, allow them to — in doing that — allow them to completely control our being. And finally in terms of ethics, ethics involves a caring involvement in bringing about the welfare of others. So there are these three types of ethics. The ethics of aligning ourselves with our basic sanity and decency through developing and cultivating positive states of mind, involving ourselves in skillful actions.
There’s the non-indulgence and the discipline of not involving ourselves, not allowing these dysfunctional patterns of mind and behavior to dominate ourselves. And finally, the ethics of working for the sake of others. You know, basic to ethics, basic to Buddhism is the ethics of nonviolence. And this is kind of the bottom line of Buddhism, what Buddhism is about most essentially.
That is simply to say, not to harm others. And specific, you know, that’s in general. Specific to the universal vehicle or the Mahāyāna, the great vehicle, the ethics is that of benefiting others. And the Dalai Lama has said this in such a way that all of Buddhism can be subsumed in two sentences and condensed into two thoughts. If you can help others — if you can’t, at least don’t harm them.
If you can help others, this is the Mahāyāna, the great vehicle. If you can’t, at least don’t harm them. This is Buddhism in general. And for the bodhisattva, this basic ethic takes the form of a commitment to the altruistic activity of benefiting others and restraint of self-centeredness. So it is through restraining of self-centeredness that the bodhisattva no longer harms others, and through involving themselves in altruistic activity that they actually bring about the welfare of others.
So the perfection of ethics. The third perfection. So generosity, ethics. The third one is tolerance, sometimes called patience. So again, you know, maybe looking at it in a little more profound manner than we might normally conceive of it.
You know, the tolerance goes beyond the simplistic notion of simply gritting our teeth and holding our temper as best we can whenever we meet difficult people or if we involve ourselves in difficult situations. You know, sometimes I call it dam patience. Dam patience? You know, like you build a dam and it stops the current and the water just keeps building up behind it. There’s a certain degree of oppression.
We simply don’t allow ourselves to feel what it is that we’re feeling. You know, we press. We hold back. You know, there may be occasions when the practice of tolerance or the practice of patience comes down to this. It may be — but this would be the least skillful attempt.
The practice of patience is more in the developing of the skills necessary to maintain an undistressed mind in adversity. Developing the mental dexterity, the agility of mind, the skill whereby our mind remains undistressed, remains unupset in the face of adversity, in the face of difficult situations, difficult people. In the absence of irritation, in the absence of frustration, such destructive types of mental patterns or emotions as hatred, anger, aggression, and violence simply cannot arise. And all of the various destructive behaviors which are associated with this — we simply don’t involve ourselves in them. Why?
Because the main cause is missing. The main cause of anger is the distressed mind, is an irritated mind, is an upset mind. And many times a Lama will simply tell somebody to be happy. And it sounds rather simplistic, simple-minded in a way. But it is very profound.
You know, the more that we habituate ourselves to happiness, the happier we will become, the easier, the smoother our life will run. There’s something very healthy about happiness in itself, in its own experience. It’s a desirable one. But it also is conducive to the condition whereby negative patterns no longer arise in our mind. Hatred does not arise in the mind of a happy person, a person who feels a sense of well-being.
They’re antagonistic to one another. You know, we could go — you know — in terms of anger, let’s talk about anger just for a moment. There are one main cause and two cooperative conditions. The main cause is a distressed mind, an unhappy mind, an upset mind, an irritated mind. The two conditions necessary are that we have a desire and that this desire be in some way — what would you say?
Thwarted. Good word. Thank you. Our desire be thwarted. Must be an easier word.
Frustrated desire. Our desires are frustrated and we identify something which is preventing our achieving what it was. If we don’t have any desire, we won’t become angry. If there’s nothing frustrating your desire, or you can’t identify anything that’s frustrating your desire or thwarting your desire, you’re not going to become angry. But it’s difficult, isn’t it?
We aren’t going to overcome desire until we probably overcome ignorance. You know, we can reduce our desire. We can make use of very remedial antidotes, but the root cause is ignorance. So we can also begin to transform. We can begin to — you know — the practice of tolerance is the ability to reframe the situation.
The practice of tolerance is particularly directed towards developing the ability to accept harm inflicted upon us by others. So this is one type of practice of tolerance. To be able to endure hardships undergone in the course of serving others, another type of tolerance. And to forbear in the legitimate suffering that, you know, traveling a spiritual path inevitably involves ourselves in. So, you know, the skill of tolerance lies in our ability to mentally reframe the problem in such a way that even if the external facts remain the same, if they remain relatively unchanged, they are now no longer seen as problematic.
The situations remain the same. The facts have remained the same. But we now have a different attitude towards the same facts, the same situation. And therefore, our mind is no longer disturbed by them. There’s been a transformation in our attitude and the way we see it.
I mean, we can change the entire personal significance, the meaning that we attribute to the situation, to whatever the facts. You know, we’ve transformed our way of viewing the situation to a more skillful one, a more functional one. And thereby, what was once, for example, might have been a problem and difficult to bear is now neither. You know, this is very much emphasized in what is called the genre of mind training or thought transformation. The ability to transform the significance we give to events such that they no longer are seen as problems for ourselves, but in fact are seen as sources of our well-being.
You know, for example — for all of us in terms of our normal ways of thinking, an enemy is by its very nature someone to be despised, someone to be gotten rid of in one way or another, either just immediately physically or otherwise. We want to separate ourselves from them. But in terms of someone who’s really trying to train their mind and especially develop the perfection of tolerance, then they begin to see — if I’m ever to develop tolerance, if I’m ever to develop a sense of fortitude, then I have no other object to practice tolerance on than this person, than this enemy. You don’t practice tolerance with those people who are nice to you all the time, who are your friends, you know, those people who you have no conflict with. The only time you can practice tolerance is when you don’t want to. When you’re getting upset, irritated, when somebody’s pushing your buttons, when the situation is becoming difficult. There’s no other circumstance in which you can practice it — by its very nature. Then we can begin to, you know, use some of our skills, begin to transform the personal significance of the situation and say, ah, isn’t this wonderful? This person is my greatest teacher.
You know, I think if we look at the practice of Dharma in a very deep sense, we have to perhaps admit that our enemies are probably going to be a greater contribution to our awakening, to our ultimate well-being, than our friends, our lovers. Ultimately, I think that’s the case, though we don’t look at it that way, do we? That’s a rather radical conception, a rather radical attitude to take. So three types of tolerance. The ability to accept the harm inflicted upon us by others, being willing to endure the hardships undergone in the course of serving others, and to be able to forbear in what I call the legitimate suffering that a practice, inner growth, inevitably entails.
You know, this latter ability to be willing to stay with legitimate suffering — what I call legitimate suffering. You know, there are two types of suffering. There is illegitimate suffering which we should get rid of as best as possible — which is something that we don’t want and it’s quite right to get rid of it. But there’s another type. It’s called legitimate suffering. Almost as if it were a necessary suffering, a part of the very process of growth itself. And it’s important because to a large extent the basis of our continued neurosis is our unwillingness to expand our awareness and to bear with the inevitable ensuing tension that is experienced in the course of reconciling the disparity between our beliefs about the way things are and the way things are in fact. There is a tension. There is — you know — while our minds are readjusting, what we might call the process of growth — while our beliefs are undergoing some state of flux, when we can no longer — you know — there’s our beliefs about the world, and there’s the way that things actually are, and there’s a disparity between the two, and we are in conflict with the world.
And this is experienced as suffering. So, we can’t change the world. That’s not within our control. But, you know, we often try. I think we spend a great deal of our energy and time trying to order the people and the things about us to conform with our preconceptions about the way they should be.
And in doing so we either experience frustration because the world doesn’t run according to our preconceptions or our desires, or we experience a sense of impotency because we can’t do the impossible. But if we can begin to control one thing — that is to say, our own mind — then it is as if we control the world. And we have no choice if we are ever to find some kind of peace, some kind of harmony with inside of ourselves and harmony with the world about us, than to bring our beliefs, our ways of thinking, our ways of relating in line with the way things actually are. And the transition — moving beyond misconception, mistaken beliefs, wrong ideas — and developing a worldview which agrees with, which is functional and harmonious with, the way things are — is experienced as tension, as anxiety. You know, potential goes over into actuality by means of anxiety.
It doesn’t seem like there’s any other way. So, you know, I call this legitimate suffering — being willing to bear. The expansion of awareness, you know, is associated with anxiety. You know, the more — there is a connection between the two. You know, for most of us, we try, we are only aware to the degree that our survival makes it necessary, not that much more.
But we have to expand the scope of our awareness. You know, Buddhism is asking that of us. And this I think involves some degree of unease, a certain degree of discomfort along the way until we stabilize at a higher level of awareness, a greater level of consciousness, another order of consciousness. You know, talking about transforming the personal significance, the meaning that we attribute to situations — thereby what was once a problem is no longer a problem.
You know, what was difficult to bear is no longer so. You know, for the bodhisattva, this means that there is no person, no situation, no task that they cannot tolerate, that they cannot bear. Because there is no person, there’s no situation, no task that cannot be skillfully transformed into contributing to their journey along the path. And the journey along the path is the central focus of their life. Whatever helps them to grow, they see that as beneficial.
They welcome that, let alone turn away from it. For a bodhisattva, everything — all the difficult people, all the difficult situations — become only a servant for their virtue. It only helps them on the path. They’re able to transform it in that way. They’re interested in that one thing — to achieve awakening as quickly as possible for the sake of all others.
Anything that will help them on that path is a friend, is a contributor, is to be welcomed, is invited, is a source of bliss, even an enemy. It’s rather a radical approach. So we’ll continue with the six perfections. So generosity, ethics, tolerance. So these are things that we can orientate around in terms of our practice.
You know, we are trying to emulate the bodhisattva. We’re trying to emulate the Buddha. And these are the ways bodhisattvas become Buddhas. So, you know, we can begin to — it gives us — we’re not at a loss. We have some method, some means that we can work with, substantial means, and we can actually do something for ourselves.
So in this process the inner focus of our life becomes Buddha. You know, the Buddha that’s inside of ourselves. You know, how can we foster that Buddha, the Buddha that dwells at the depth of all of ourselves? How can we actualize that in a gradual manner so that our body, our speech, and our thinking become more and more a reflection — a reflection of this happy, healthy, loving, sane human being that we ultimately will become.
You know, this becomes a concern for ourselves. You know, it becomes an orientation. You know, we’re not lost. We don’t have to stay the same person that we’ve always been. We can reinvent ourselves through Buddhism.
And the way that we do that is by the use of the Dharma. All the various techniques, methods of training, practices of the six perfections, for example — through which we can do something very substantial for ourselves. And this process occurs within the context of the social matrix of well-being. In existing interdependence with a sane environment, an environment of love and caring in which we can nurture the seeds of our own Buddhahood, of our own well-being, and we can help others in the process. And we try to raise the level of our motivation behind what we’re doing.
Initially we have to begin with ourselves. There’s no question about that. As Śāntideva, the great master, in his Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life said, we’ve never even dreamed of such an attitude for ourselves — how could we ever develop a genuine, stable, consistent compassion for others, wishing them that they too achieve freedom from their suffering, that they achieve their well-being? We won’t. So, you know, any authentic path that is grounded within our own actual experience necessarily has to begin with ourselves.
But the universal vehicle asks us not to stop there, you know, to go beyond a deficiency motivation to one of growth. But more than just growth for oneself, but growth for all others — to expand the scope of our horizons and what we could do and what we can become to include all others. So this becomes very much a part of the force behind what we do, the why of what we do. You know, we can correct ourselves. You know, at least we can point our cart in that direction.
At least we’re moving in an extremely skillful and healthy way. We can have some kind of confidence in that. You know, it might be a long journey, but we’re headed in the right direction and we’re eventually going to end up where we’re headed. And we can find some kind of self-respect and dignity within that itself. To the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Supreme Community, I go for refuge until awakening.
To the creative potential of my listening to the Dharma, may I achieve the state of the Buddha for the sake of all living beings. To the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha community, I go for refuge until awakening. Through the creative potential of my listening to the Dharma, may I achieve the state of the Buddha for the sake of all living beings. To the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Supreme Community, I go for refuge until awakening. Through the creative potential of my listening to the Dharma, may I achieve the state of the Buddha for the sake of all living beings.
Reverently, I pay homage with my body, speech, mind, and present clouds of every type of offering that is actual and imagined. I disclose all my destructive acts accumulated since time without beginning, and rejoice in the skillful actions of holy and ordinary beings. Please remain until cyclic existence is ended, and turn the wheel of Dharma for living beings. I dedicate the skillful actions of myself and others to the great awakening. Would you like to stand up and then we’ll start to meditate?
We’ve — that’s the end of it. We have to keep coming back to many of the same ideas, same development of the same attitudes, and trying to gain the same insights and accustom our minds again and again and again. Sometimes they actually use the word accustomizing, familiarization. It’s the same root as the word that is generally translated as meditation. So it has a quality of process — integrating through familiarization — until something becomes our second nature, becomes our primary nature.
So we’re going to meditate on, you know, trying to appreciate ourselves and appreciate some of the qualities about ourselves that we probably don’t recognize or we don’t acknowledge but are still there in our everyday behavior or at least are dormant in some way. So, you know, we’re just going to work with qualities about ourselves and try — in the process of imagination, imagining ourselves in various situations with specific qualities. Kind of rewriting the story that we have about ourselves, maybe repunctuating who we are. We have a conception about who we are simply because that is the dominant pattern that we focus upon. But, you know, one of the very basic understandings of Buddhism is that — as a Zen saying goes — human nature is Buddha nature, Buddha nature is no nature.
That we have no intrinsic identity, that it is simply the dominance of certain patterns over time which — and we begin to fixate upon them and we think I’m such and such a type of person. I have such and such types of qualities. However we might think of ourselves, whether it’s positive or negative — quite often more negative — our life very much in terms of the self-identity that we have developed around ourselves becomes a self-defeating, self-fulfilling prophecy. And we become the C-grade people that we imagine ourselves to be and we lead C-grade lives with all that implies — we marry C-grade partners, have C-grade children.
We teach them how to be C-grade and it kind of perpetuates the same notion about what life is about. We can’t imagine anything more than what we experience up to now. It wouldn’t be us. Many times when people say, oh, you aren’t yourself today, when you’re manifesting another quality temporarily. And people can be quite uncomfortable when people do that.
You’ve changed, I don’t know. And people unknowingly, quite often, push others back into the same molds, into the same habitual patterns because things work, things fit that way. We lock in with other people’s patterns, with society’s patterns. So but this isn’t necessarily so. It doesn’t have to be that way.
But we can begin to become the authority of the story about our lives and begin to choose who we will be, you know, the character that we want to actualize. We can reinvent ourselves as Buddhists. We can perform a Buddhist story if we like. It’s possible. Not easy, but possible.
So we’re going to meditate on that. Okay? And we’re going to, in terms of developing love and compassion, you know, consistently again and again working with these ideas. You know, it might get boring, it might get frustrating — not again. You know?
But we don’t have to listen to that mind. Where did that mind ever get us? You know? Not again. You know?
That baby mind, or whatever it is, the complaining mind, the whinging mind. We keep going in the direction that we want. Development of love and compassion are basic to Buddhism, basic to mental health, basic to happiness, getting along in life. So we have to persist and persevere. We haven’t come to that in the six perfections, but that’s one of them.
Joyous effort. So we’re going to practice joyous effort in terms of the development of love and compassion. And imagining as the object of developing and cultivating love and compassion. So again, someone that you love a great deal. And a second person, someone who is a little bit removed from that, someone you like a great deal, a great deal of caring but not quite to the same degree as perhaps your primary partner, primary relation.
So these two people, okay, really develop love and compassion with them as objects. Then we’ll do mindfulness meditation on breathing and then incorporating and appreciating and becoming aware of and acknowledging and perhaps finding that space to express some of the qualities of ourselves. So if you take a comfortable firm posture. Okay. Let’s first get in touch with the body.
Noticing any tightnesses, any tensions. Bringing your awareness to this area. Consciously relaxing. Just letting go. You.