Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 40-minute session, Choedak teaches the foundation of compassion through the lens of understanding suffering and self-cherishing. He begins by exploring why developing genuine compassion requires a radical shift in perception—not simply acknowledging others’ suffering, but becoming as sensitive to it as a buddha with a hair in their eye. He contrasts a compassionate person’s constant awareness of samsaric suffering with modern society’s tendency to distract itself with material comfort and pleasant appearances. The core of his teaching focuses on identifying self-cherishing as the root cause of all suffering and the barrier to both giving and receiving love, then shifts to the antidote: remembering the kindness of others in every aspect of life. He walks practitioners through a guided meditation that moves from investigating the causes of suffering, to recognizing how self-centeredness sabotages relationships and connection, to systematically recalling the countless people whose labour and care sustain existence—parents, farmers, teachers, merchants—and pledging to repay their kindness by cherishing them. The session concludes with dedication prayers for all beings to recognize self-cherishing as poison and to cultivate mutual care. Directed at practitioners ready to engage foundational Lamrim-style reflective meditation.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 08 CiA.mp3
UUID: b2fc83ab-bb8e-42e9-b7cb-4a089484998d
Teacher: Choedak
Collection: Compassion in Action (Choedak)
Date: 1987 (exact day not recorded)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Words: ~3,056
Giving to others is as good as anything else. We are quite convinced that giving to others is as good as anything else. It establishes an intimate relationship with others, so therefore everyone becomes very, I would say, everyone, everyone whoever they are, whether we are able to give in a situation or not, doesn’t doesn’t appear neutral or stranger. Because our mind is directed in terms of looking looking for alleviating sufferings, and suffering you would if your mind is able to look with this sense of perception, you will be able to see their suffering. It is said in the one example that, yeah, if you have a piece of hair on your part of body, someone says, or your hair there, you wouldn’t really feel it.
You wouldn’t you wouldn’t really feel there’s hair on your body. So our sensitivities of looking other people’s suffering is not that sensitive, like having hair on your body. It is said the Buddha’s or person who developed compassion, his sensitivity of looking at other people’s suffering is as if the hair was in the eyes. If you feel a hair in your eyes, you really feel you want to have to take it as soon as possible. They wouldn’t have any any time to waste it or to wait.
So the more we become concerned for sake of other people’s happiness and their welfare, we will have this sensitivity of loving kindness, like the this sensitivity. We would never see we would never see any reason to ignore anybody at any time. Because as long as beings are there in the saṃsāra world, they are there due to karma and delusions. Whether there is a perceivable immediate suffering or not, but deeply, the sensitivities of Buddha’s wisdom like I can see the the depth of human suffering. So therefore, there’s one great great master called Langdangpa.
He’s Langdangpa. Sometimes they they nicknamed him called Langdangpa Nakpo. It means dark face. He has no time to laugh. He’s always, you know, very sad, very sad, doesn’t smile at all.
He and everyone used to tease him, you know, why don’t you he said, have no time to smile. Look at the depth of saṃsāra suffering. You know, he’s sitting sitting quietly in his meditation room and he he’s just meditating on depth of human suffering, and he’s developing this compassion, and therefore he says, have no time whatsoever to smile and be enjoyable. There’s nothing to enjoy in this life. It’s just burning agony.
Look at this stuff. So people nicknamed him because that was his own realization. So for us to be for us to be being able to practice loving kindness compassion is to say how much sensitive we do become in seeing the suffering, whether it’s visible or immediately existing or not. Because because that’s that is what and other we can become easily carried away by momentary situations, thereby the the the the immense tears suffering is forgotten as if it doesn’t exist. Really, it’s really the problem of the of the modern world, as if as if all this problem doesn’t exist, you know, everybody is dressing nicely and doing things nicely, and you know, as if everything is perfect, and you know, everything is painted nicely, so you know, we we don’t be able we are not able to see it very clearly.
So this through this meditation of practice of loving kindness. Practice of loving kindness and compassion doesn’t help, doesn’t develop unless we we really see and realize the depth of suffering and its causes. This is this is all about. That’s the secret. We don’t if we are not being able to loving develop loving kindness, compassion, which is the essence of religious teachings, that means our understanding of suffering is not sufficient.
So meditation on suffering had to bear in the life has to be has to be be, you know, recharged. Therefore, in lamrim teachings, at the very beginning, you spend most time in meditating on sufferings, you know, rather than anything else. When you develop, you know, when you develop disgust for the suffering nature, when you get bored, when you totally get bored something, you really think you have to do something to replace it. It is said that how should one’s renunciation be by realizing suffering? Says that it should be like that of a bird who have discovered their nest has been burnt during their absence.
So they would never feel like returning there. It’s it’s just doesn’t look good to go there back again. So if we know that the the intensity of human suffering coming from delusion and self-cherishing, there would be no time whatsoever that we can we can engage ourselves into activities that seems to be very very fulfilling, very fulfilling and satisfactory in a samsaric sense. There’s no time, one teacher said, means just as human excrement has no good smell, the suffer experience of sentient beings has no happiness. So example example is that is that if we really look in this, the momentary happiness that we seem to get carried away, thus forget the welfare of self and others and spiritually, has it’s just darkening ourselves, you know, blinding ourselves with these momentary conditions, not knowing their changeability, not knowing how how this itself aggravates our clinging and thirst for happiness and wrong happiness.
And therefore, this is the very point that Śākyamūni Buddha, when he taught the four noble truths at the very beginning, he was strongly emphasizing the nobility of suffering, the reality that that if you know the suffering, you will know what it is. You will never put your cloth into the, you know, washing machine had you not realized it’s dirty. So but then it it depends it depends how much deeply you understand the immensity of human suffering. So the amount of time we would practice our self, the amount of dedication we would have, amount of total dedication, faith, and renunciation, and develop compassion, these all are the indicators where our realization of suffering is at. If our suffering understanding of suffering is not very good, then our practice would be on and off, on and off, on and off, very most of the time off, and only becomes some something very periodical that you should get into, you know, it doesn’t become something part of your life.
It doesn’t become part of your life. Reason why we do find the practices difficult to be part of your life and you miss the practices when you can’t do it is because we haven’t really integrated our mind into looking deeper into the suffering, which we are always surrounded by. You don’t have to have a cushion to sit or a retreat to go to to be able to realize and meditate. The sufferings that surround us are the greatest reminder of the Dharma practices. And had this been not the case, Buddha wouldn’t talk about suffering being noble.
Am I being too pushy? I think the rest of the kind the topics in the remembering the kindness of others, if you just look through you will understand very easy. There’s not much of difficulty as far as understanding this. But it’s really something worthwhile worthwhile to, you know, to look into these matters in, you know, wherever we go, whenever we we are capable of mind mastering our mind to implement to the right direction, there’s always a sense of practice, at the sense of practice. Your perception is practice.
Not what you do, but your perception is practice. You cannot have the the the the proper perception if you don’t have the awareness of the self. So various techniques that meditation, you know, teaches is to develop the the awareness, self awareness. Self awareness. Okay.
We will now have a break. Alright? Yeah. Break. Deep break.
We’ll do the meditation on that after that. Thank you. Just as all previous Buddhas gave rise to the precious body mind, and just as they then carefully followed the stages of the Bodhisattva disciples, likewise, for the sake of living beings, do I now myself generate the bodhimind, and likewise will I train myself in the disciplines of a bodhisattva. Just as all previous Buddhas first gave rise to the precious body, and just as they then carefully follow the stages of bodhisattva practice. Likewise, for the sake of living beings, do I now myself general the bodhimind, and likewise will I myself train in the disciplines of bodhisattva.
Just as all previous Buddhas first gave rise to the precious body, and just as they then carefully follow the stages of bodhisattva practice, likewise, for the sake of living beings, They who are out of wisdom have seized the supreme body mind, Prayers glorify and rejoice in it. Let me grow to fulfillment. From today, I’ll reap the fruit of life, having well well on the state of human being. Today, I’m born in the Buddha family, and I’m now a child of the Buddha. Thus, in future, I should make every effort to live in accord with the bodhisattva ways, and never should I act as would bring disgrace to its noble family.
Light man fumbling in garbage happens to find a rare gem, a remedy for all seeking. It is the house of medicines to kill the ills of the ill. It is the tree giving shade to those wandering on the paths of life. It is strong and mighty bridge by which can cross from the stream. And it is the moon shining in the minds, cooling the pain of delusion.
The body and mind is the great railings to disperse the darkness of unknowing and is the very essence of butter gained from the churning milk of the Dharma. For all guests on the roads of life who would test the very sustenance of joy, the actual seed of true happiness, a veritable feast to satiate the world. Thus today, in the presence of all awakened ones, giving both immediate and lasting joy. May the gods and all others rejoice. Let me sit and meditate with mindfulness, making my body comfortable and relaxed, yet maintaining the meditative posture, which indicates where my mind is at, keeping it alert and straight.
My body is the basis of my meditation. So would I keep it relaxed and serviceable? To harmonize the spirit with the body, I breathe normally and gently, mindfulness of the breath. Through this harmony of body and my mind and mindfulness, let me meditate, focus my mind to develop the understanding and realization on the causes of suffering. That prevents me from giving love and receiving love.
What is it? I must investigate the causes of suffering. I must. The nature of suffering tells me that it it all originates from grasping by the self or to the self. Let me examine the nature of self-cherishing.
The nature of self-cherishing, the cause of suffering. Why can’t I receive love from others when others want to love me? Why can’t I give love when I will love others? self-cherishing the causes of suffering prevents love from others. My inability to receive love is therefore self-cherishing, the cause of suffering.
What is the root cause of my mental frustration and anguish and depression. What is it? Cherishing the self depresses the self, frustrates the self, causes all suffering. It is the selfish beings who are caught in saṃsāra. It is the unselfish beings who become enlightened.
Why can’t I admire and be happy with other people’s happiness and achievements? If happiness is to be cherished, So this demon of self-cherishing has long been cheating and misguiding myself. Have I now discovered this greatest internal enemy? Why do I experience friends reject me? Due to myself cherishing.
My own demands and needs couldn’t be fulfilled due to self-cherishing, so I experienced rejection. How dare was I to experience that others rejected me when my own self-cherishing has misguided me? Why am I dissatisfied in my life and activities? What is it that I can neither be happy with others’ achievements nor with one’s own achievements? This chronic disease of self-cherishing is causing all this problem.
Why can’t I help others when I wish so much? My selfish motives of helping others darkens my mind. Thus my effort cannot reach others with love due to self-cherishing. If I’d been less selfish, I would have been helpful to all others whenever I wanted to help. For true concern of others have always options to benefit others.
It is only the selfish means that has limited techniques to help others. If there is any mental disease to be identified as a cause of all suffering, It is this self-cherishing. self-cherishing. What if my eyes, my wisdom, ability have been invested so far? Why has it taken so long to discover this?
Due to lack of wisdom. Now with the precious teachings of Dharma, it has given me this technique to discover the causes of suffering, self-cherishing. Therefore, I must remedy the self-cherishing by the profound techniques of cherishing others more than oneself. I’m convinced that all problems in life originates from selfishness, not from others, not from people, not from conditions, only selfishness. May this awareness firmly stays in my mind so that I never blame on others.
Yet awareness develops. I identify my own self-cherishing and its tactics of misguiding me. May I guard against this self-cherishing that threatens and causes all suffering. May this be my responsibility to practice, to watch my self-cherishing mind? How can I possibly help others if I am internally diseased by this disease?
In short, the worst enemy since beginningless time has been this self-cherishing. But I now will make friend with self-cherishing and tame it, subdue it for the sake of others. I must be convinced with this discovery, the cause of suffering, the origin of suffering. Let my mind sit in meditation calmly and peacefully with this realization that causes of sufferings are all self-cherishing, always. That the blessings of Buddhas and bodhisattvas sharpen my mind right now to all of this realization.
Though the self-cherishing is the chronic disease, a cause of all suffering, I can still transform it. The best usage by cherishing others. As cherishing others is cause of all happiness. All happiness. I shall now visualize the kindest and most compassionate person or persons I have ever met in this life so that I can cherish them.
I must remember the kindness that I received from my parents, from my mother, from the kind and compassionate people, friends, relatives, people of different countries, and all living beings who gives me the opportunity to transform my self-cherishing mind, cherish them, thus giving me the gateway to happiness. My body that I have looked after so many years is safe and protected by the kind, tender care of my mother and family. The food they eat I eat to sustain my body all comes from other living beings, hardworking peasants, transportation, bringing merchants. Without their kindness, I would have died of starvation. The nice clothes that I wear, the buildings in I live, the beautiful beautiful parks, everything in this world are provided by others.
There’s more to cherish in others than in the self. I’m educated by the kindness of others. Clothes that I wear are manufactured by hardworking people, the designers, the tailors, the spinners. I’m able to travel from one place to another to find happiness due to the kindness of other people. Nothing from my side.
I learn everything from others. I can’t speak even a word. All were taught by others to me. The symbols of communication, methods of fitting in the society, all came from others. My own name was given by others.
Without a name, given by others. Without a name, I can’t be nothing. Everything came from others. Whatever I am, it’s all due to the kindness of others. If I’m a businessman, if I’m a teacher, if I’m a nurse, whatever I do, I can’t gain satisfaction without others.
Kindness of others should never be overlooked. There’s more to cherish in kindness of others than in oneself. The source of happiness is cherishing others. Buddha has gone enlightened by cherishing others all the time. Remembering this, I should solemnly pledge to repay the kindness of others, but never forgetting the welfare of others.
May I never forget the kindness of others, even in my dreams. May it be my practice. There’s no one who has not been kind to me. In terms of practicing loving kindness and compassion, patience, their involvement, I can’t gather virtue. Now I develop this firm realization that all happiness comes from cherishing others.
By cherishing others. Let this be my practice. Let this be my realization. Let this be my mindfulness. Let this be my discipline.
May the blessings of Buddha and Bodhisattvas and my kind teachers, may the inspiration show up on my heart right now to develop this realization that happiness comes only by cherishing others. I sit with mindfulness and alertness in this state of realization. In conclusion, I shall now share and dedicate the merits of realization and of this meditation in fervent wishes and prayers for sake of others all heartily. Page six and seven. How nice would it be if all living beings were identifying the cause of their suffering.
May they realize the shortcomings of self-cherishing. May they abandon selfishness like dangerous poison. May all living beings help and care for each other by dedicating themselves for others. May all heartfelt prayers bring about the effect due to the merit of doing this session. How nice would it be if all living beings only see each other’s kindness?
May they be able to see the kindness of others. May I be able to see the kindness of other living beings at all times so that I can repay their kindness. May all living beings be able to cherish and care for each other. May all living beings find delight in helping many others indiscriminately. May all heartfelt prayers bring about their aims due to the merit of this session.