Audio recorded at Tibetan Buddhist Institute, Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this 47-minute commentary on Śāntideva’s teaching, Kyabje Rinpoche unpacks the nine causes of anger, rooted in three sources: harm to ourselves, those we love, or opposition to enemies. He dismantles anger’s logic with a striking image—if we resented every source of suffering (sun, wind, thorns), we’d be perpetually furious—then offers a radical antidote: patience built through habituation. Just as learning the alphabet became effortless through repetition, tolerance for small slights (harsh words, insults) gradually expands our threshold. Using vivid contrasts—a courageous soldier emboldened by the sight of blood versus a coward who faints—Rinpoche shows that suffering depends entirely on mental strength, not the injury itself. A practical toolkit for anyone ready to rewire their response to difficulty.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 1988-11-14 – 2A – Patience – KR.mp3
UUID: 66ddd076-e31d-4458-9087-8fe7d15d8984
Teacher: Kyabje Rinpoche
Collection: Bodhisattvacaryāvatāra
Date: 1988-11-14
Recorded at: Tibetan Buddhist Institute, Adelaide
Words: ~3,148
So we should develop the intention, the thought that we’re going to listen to this to the teaching in order to help others, to help them to bring them complete peace and happiness. So the great master Śāntideva has said that there are many disadvantages to anger. For example, that we ourselves and those around us become unhappy when someone is angry. So, you know, how does does how is anger generated and what is the way it develops? What is its object and what does its cause?
They they like. So there’s said to be nine causes for the development of anger. So then there are three to these nine causes, there are three roots. And the first is oneself, the individual person. Then there’s one’s loved ones, and then there’s one one’s enemies.
So those are the three roots. So with respect to the self, we can begin with looking at the fact that one possible cause with respect to the self for generating anger is that is the thought thinking that this person has before caused me some trouble, has caused me some suffering in the past? And not only that, but in this present situation, they’re causing me difficulties and problems. And in the future they’re going to cause me problems. So in this in dependence upon these three possible types of causes in respect to one’s individual self and the fact that someone may have caused you difficulties in the past, they’re causing you difficulties now, or there’s a thought that they’re going to cause you difficulties in the future.
And dependence upon these three causes with respect to the self, then we develop anger. Then with respect to the to the second root, that is one’s loved ones, those who one holds dear. You know, this can be relatives, it can be husband or wife, it can be children, mother, father, or, you know, good friends anyone you hold dear. Taking these as objects of observation, we think that a third party has brought them harm in the past, has caused them troubles in the past, or is present causing them trouble and difficulties, Or will in the future cause our our loved ones difficulties and problems? And therefore, there’s these three causes with respect to those we hold dear.
Then, what’s the third root? That is our enemies. Enemies are people that we don’t like. And, you know, we don’t like to see enemies get ahead. We don’t like to see them develop any good qualities or any good things happen to them.
And so, when somebody helps them and helps them develop their good qualities or helps them to get ahead or helps them to become rich, for example, then we resent that and we resent the person that’s helping them. We don’t like that. So, with respect to those who help develop our enemies, in any way help our enemies, In the past we develop anger. Those who are helping our enemies in the present we develop anger. And with respect to those who will help our enemies in the future we develop anger.
So there’s three causes with respect to our enemies. So, you know, we can develop all these three objects that are suitable for us to develop anger with respect to, you know, in dependence upon the root of the individual, in dependence upon that the three causes with respect to the those who we hold dear, and with respect to our enemy. In dependence upon each of those, there are three causes which if we think about, we can develop if we were to mull this over in our mind, could develop anger. But, you know, with respect to the enemy, if someone were to ask you, you know, what has this enemy done to you? Are all the things that is in what ways have they harmed you?
In what ways have caused you to hold this person as an enemy? And some of the possible answers that you might give are the facts that, well, this person, they spoke very harsh words at me and they called me bad things, for example. Or that because of them I wasn’t able to get what I wanted, for example, you know, money or some type of position, that they kept me from getting what I wanted. Or that perhaps they talked about you behind your back to other people, and they’ve kept putting you down, because of that other people don’t like you. So these are some of the possible reasons that we might give for saying why we hold this person as our enemy.
And likewise, we could use the same types of reasons for if we were asked why we hold this person our enemy, why we are getting angry at them, that they did the same things to those who we hold dear. They talked about the people we love, our wife or our husband or something like that. They spoke to them with harsh words, they hurt their feelings, that they kept them from getting what they wanted, whether it’s money or position, and that they talk behind their backs. Because of that people don’t like them. So, you know, all these reasons we can apply equally to getting angry because our enemy did this to the people we hold dear, the people we love.
And then for the person who is helping our enemy, you know, who perhaps gives him all kinds of gifts, gives him money or whatever, various types of possessions or praises that person, goes around telling what a great person our enemy is, and dependence upon that we generate anger. You know, we have to begin to understand that such a mind of anger is in no way of any benefit. It’s completely negative in all ways. That, you know, when one is experiencing anger, one’s own mind is unhappy. And those around you, you know, your husband or your wife are made unhappy.
Your home is made, you know, there becomes lots of conflicts in one in the home, and your environment becomes unharmonious due to anger. So it’s a we additionally, we create a great many negative actions or negative karma to the force of our anger. But, you know, if we look at the situation that we exist within, there are many sources of suffering and there are very few sources of real happiness. And so by by becoming angry, we are simply adding more sources of suffering to ourselves and to others. And, in fact, we are unable to Due to the force of our anger, those sources which could be a source of happiness are temporarily unable to bring us any happiness.
So we are adding unhappiness to what is predominantly unhappy situation perhaps, and we’re actually preventing those possibilities of happiness from arising for us during the time that we’re angry. So there are there are, you know, infinite number of possible sources of suffering. And if we were to get angry at every at every source that brought us suffering, you know, we would be constantly angry people. You know, we go outside and the sun burns, we get sunburn and we suffer. So we get angry at the sun.
You know, go outside and it’s windy and we get wind burn, you know, we get harsh, dried up skin and we suffer and so we get angry at the wind. And we’re walking along, we step on a thorn, and we suffer and we get angry at the thorn. If we went on like this then there would never be a time when we weren’t angry. So some people, if they were to, like, knock over the the flower vase with their hand, they would would see their hand as a source of suffering and they would get angry at their hand or they would get angry at the vase and they would they would slam their hand down in anger and then break their hand and and they get angry even more at the suffering that arose. So, with such a type of mind that’s constantly involved in anger, constantly unsettled, then, you know, we can’t when we try to sleep, can’t sleep when we eat, we can’t really enjoy our food, it doesn’t have a pleasant taste.
When other people try to speak kindly to us, you know, speak with pleasant words, we aren’t able to feel their kindness, we aren’t able to feel the force of their pleasant words. In fact, everything just becomes a source of negativity. We can’t enjoy anything. In all these various ways, isn’t of any use. In fact, we have to begin to try to stabilize our mind to develop a firm mind which doesn’t allow itself to become angry.
So within the great vehicle, the Mahāyāna, all the various difficulties and suffering that we experience are to be seen as a means to benefit oneself. That the suffering that we incur is for we can transform it into a means for benefiting others and benefiting ultimately our own liberation. So the the text, a verse from the text which reads, If some ascetics and the people of Karnata endure the pain of cuts and burns for no reason, then for the sake of liberation why have I no courage? And so the Karnatas are devotees of Īśvara and they endure a great many ascetic practices such as making offerings, burning their finger as a type of offering, remaining in the sun for long, burning themselves in the sun, cutting themselves, and things of this. If these people are able to perform such actions, ascetic actions, bringing harm to themselves, which in fact are meaningless, then why can’t we, for something which has great meaning, have such courage?
So these, you know, these various devotees of Īśvara, for example, in South India, in Karnata, they perform, you know, various types of animal sacrifices. They many ascetic practices where they bring cutting their fingers and burning their fingers. They bring a great deal of suffering to themselves. Now if these people can bring such types of suffering to themselves, which in fact have no benefit, have no productive result, that meaningless, then why can’t we, for the sake of all sentient beings, endure a little bit of suffering? So the text goes on by explaining that there is is nothing whatsoever that is not made easier through acquaintance.
So through becoming acquainted with small harms, we can become we should learn how to be patient and accept, you know, greater harm. And this is simply, you know, that if we can we experience some little suffering and in response to that we’re able to control our anger, then through habituation, through becoming acquainted with this process of developing our tolerance, then we can next time we’ll be able to endure a little more suffering and not become angry, a little more difficult situation and not become angry, and eventually we can increase our ability. Our tolerance level will increase higher and higher to the point where nothing, no types of suffering or harm can bring us anger or cause us to anger. Initially there was a time when we couldn’t even write the alphabet, you know, A, B, C. We had it was extremely difficult.
We had to apply a great deal of effort just to shape each of the A, b, c, each of the letters. But now when we write, it becomes very natural. We don’t even have to think about it. And this is a process simply comes about through a process of acquaintance, through habituation. And likewise, this can be applied to anything.
And likewise, if someone were to say some little, a small word to us, which is some type of putting us down or some type of harsh word, And if we don’t answer, we don’t react, we just, you know, thinking, oh, it doesn’t matter. That is practicing some patience, some tolerance. Then the next day we’ll be able to, due to acquainting ourselves with that state of tolerance, the next day we’ll be able to, he can say something a little more harsh, a little harsher word. And we also can be able to not react. We can maintain tolerance due to our tolerance.
We won’t become angry. We can maintain our patience, and then this can keep increasing, increasing, increasing. So, the mind is a very wonderful thing from this point of view, its ability to increase whatever quality that we choose. Know, whatever work we might engage in, it’s the Dharma, or whatever type of action, whether it’s Dharma or just worldly actions. At first, everything that we do, the first time that we do it is difficult.
But through acquaintance it becomes easier and easier. And we can develop this ability of ease with any type of action without limit. This is the wonderful quality of the mind that it can become so acquainted with some type of action that it becomes our second nature. It becomes perfectly easy. We don’t even have to think about it, and this can be developed without limit.
So, you know, it’s our experience of suffering is very much dependent upon what we recognize as suffering. You know, in the case of minor sufferings which used to be, we used to conceive of as suffering, for example, you know, insect bites and things like this. That perhaps there was a time when an insect bite brought us a lot of discomfort. But then we become through tolerance, the same action takes place, but we no longer recognize it or conceive of it as suffering. We develop a tolerance, and now it doesn’t bother us in the least.
And what was suffering before is no longer suffering for us. So, you know, if if we take the attitude that you that you shouldn’t be impatient with In this way, understanding that through tolerance our suffering actually decreases. On the other hand, through intolerance, then our suffering will increase. You know, there’s many possible causes for our suffering. And if we don’t build up some tolerance, then we can be in constant suffering.
You know, whether it’s these simple everyday sufferings of sometimes we’re hot, sometimes we’re cold, sometimes the wind’s blowing, and sometimes it’s raining. All these possible everyday occurrences sometimes we get sick. If we don’t start to build up a tolerance to these, then we can be in constant suffering. So, if we don’t start we should start to build up a tolerance to small sufferings in order that eventually that we won’t even conceive them of sufferings. If we don’t, then the reverse is going to begin to happen.
If, you know, we get every little pain that we get if we immediately react, oh, I can’t stand this, you know, then the ability for these, what were previously small sufferings, to harm us is going to increase. Our sensitivity to the pain is going to increase because of our intolerance. So for some people who have a great deal of courage, you know, very brave, you know, some soldier when they go into battle and they are fighting the enemy, the very sight of their their own blood actually can bring them more, what, more courageous. In battle. Give them more courage to fight their enemy.
They don’t even feel the pain the course of the battle, and the sight of their own blood can actually spur them on to fight even better. But then on the other hand, someone who’s pretty much a coward, And they’re fighting in battle. If they’re just seeing somebody else’s blood and they pass out, they can’t even tolerate to see anybody else’s blood, let alone their own blood. So, you know, we can see by this example that some that these two these two soldiers are going to battle, one by seeing their own blood are spurred on to fight even with more strength, more courage. And the other, what does they see in their own blood, seeing just the blood of others, somebody else and pass out, they faint.
This reaction, you know, there’s the harm which is coming to them is not dependent upon the harm which is coming to them. It’s dependent upon the power of their own mind. You know, how strong their minds are, how courageous they are, and the development of how acquainted they are, and the development of tolerance. So through these factors, there’s various reactions to different harms or different types of suffering. So it’s not dependent upon the type of suffering or the degree of suffering, but to these mental inner factors of our own courage, own power of our own mind, the acquaintance, the tolerance that we’ve built up.
So we have to reflect upon this. It doesn’t doesn’t happen naturally that we have to, you know, develop a strong mind, a powerful mind that, you know, develops a brave mind, a courageous mind. So, you know, we have to when we have some small hurt, we have to not act we have to not react with intolerance, but try to develop some patience, some tolerance toward some small hurt, or some small difficulty arises. Again, not to react with intolerance, but to develop react, you know, to confront it with patience, to with and not allow our mind to become depressed. If we can if we can begin to develop such a such a type of mind which begins to to strengthen itself, to strengthen its patients, and we’re going to develop a happy mind.
Fewer things will be able to get us down. Our mind will be able to remain in a happy state for periods of time. And in turn, this is going to affect our physical well-being. We’re going to be healthier people physically. And all the various activities that we engage in will go much better.
So, you know, in response to small harms that we shouldn’t become depressed when somebody uses some bad words, directs some bad words towards us. We shouldn’t, you know, mind not allow our minds to become black, negative. When somebody else speaks behind our back, speaks about another person who we hold dear, not to allow our minds to get upset and suffer through that, but thinking, you know, this is there’s nothing surprising about all this. There’s nothing really which I should get upset about it. And to really make effort to to to to and try to develop some courage in the face of these difficulties and hurts that we can always be experiencing.
And in this way, that develop a, you know, a strong mind, a powerful mind. You know, just as