Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. In this meditation teaching, Batchelor examines how self-consciousness arises in practice and what we can actually do about it. Rather than forcing awareness of self-consciousness away, he suggests first noticing what we add to our experience — the self-imposed demands, judgments, and narratives that compound simple sensations into emotional suffering. He walks through concrete examples: observing the internal commentary around physical pain, the habit of narrating experiences, and the mistaken belief that others notice small sounds like swallowing during meditation. The core instruction is to use inquiry not as judgment but as curious exploration: What exactly am I adding right now? He emphasises working skillfully with self-consciousness in your own way rather than adopting a rigid “must not be self-conscious” stance, which typically reinforces the very problem it aims to solve. Suited to meditators with some practice experience.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 06 IT.mp3
UUID: 1ed46f35-dd5c-4857-acd3-2961fb0dcac2
Teacher: Batchelor
Collection: Insight Tapes (Batchelor)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Words: ~660
Sometimes we can help ourselves to dissolve the self consciousness. But sometimes I feel we cannot just be aware of it. And by becoming aware of it, we can try to see how do I make myself self conscious. Generally, we add something to the experience. I must do this right, Or I really must do this.
I must try hard. Or whatever, you have to look. Generally, you have to look at the mentor. What what do you say to yourself? Also, you have to look at the feeling.
Sometimes we have intense feeling, you know. And and you you have to see kind of, can I relax into the feeling instead of, again, adding things to the feeling or adding things to the sensation? Because you see, you have a sensation in the knee. And you can, my knee, my pain, this is terrible. Like I could have done with the eye.
My eyes, this is awful. This is terrible. I never see again. I cannot Instead, I said, well, you know, pain in the eye. Two hours later, still pain in the eye.
I have to do something. And and so there was less of that self consciousness. I have this pain in the eye. This is terrible. So in a way, in order in a way to to have this more non-determinant, less identified awareness, I think we first have to see what is it we add.
Because I think in self consciousness, generally, we add something. And then we can see how skillfully we can dissolve that adding. And then we have to be careful, for example, if we have a tendency to judge ourselves. You’re not doing this right. You should do this.
Then you you one must have to be careful not to use awareness to judge the judging of the judging of the judging because then you kind of get all this kind of but you see, Oh, judging. Maybe I don’t need need to do this right now. So I think in terms of this dissolution of the self consciousness, to see what we add from inside in a way. And the other thing we add, of course, in terms of how we read the environment. Because one of the things we do sometimes, now that I’m going to say it, everybody’s going to do it, hopefully not, is that sometimes we sit in meditation and we swallow.
And we all swallow, and we don’t think about it. Don’t think too much. Sometimes you swallow, and it feels like you’re swallowing a lot, and you have the feeling you’re making a lot of noise, and you have the feeling that the whole room is listening to your swallow. But I would say, generally, unless it’s really extremely noisy, Generally, you’re the only one who hears it. And so in a way to be careful of that, that self consciousness in in thinking, you know, everybody is aware of this.
Everybody is bothered by this. I think, you know, most of the time, very few people are bothered by this. And even if they are, you know, we have to all deal with difficulties. But to be aware how certain words actually will add to the self consciousness. So in a way to again, back to this awareness playing creatively to to see what is going on.
Why am I feeling so that’s what the inquiry is about in a stable way, not negative way. What is going on? What is this experience of self consciousness? Instead of saying, I must not be self conscious because that generally doesn’t work. Again, this adds to it.
But to explore it and to see how you can, in your own way, work with it. Okay. I think we have to stop here so you can have some walking meditation now, And then we’ll meet again at eight thirty for the last sitting. Thank you.