Audio recorded at Buddha House Adelaide. Transcript auto-generated and AI-corrected; may contain errors.
About this talk. Batchelor explores how grasping at isolated fragments of experience narrows our potential and creates suffering, using personal anecdotes and everyday examples to illuminate the Buddhist concept of non-self. He contrasts grasping—which produces tension, rigidity, and proliferation—with creative engagement, a flexible responsiveness to present conditions. The teaching covers how we reduce ourselves through a single thought (I am stupid), emotion (fear of the dark), physical attribute (I am short), or quality (I am bad), and how this limitation blocks authentic response. He illustrates with a story of his early paralysis speaking before three hundred people, and how recognizing the grasping released him to speak before six hundred with ease. The Q&A develops the practical threshold between constructive intention and rigid attachment, and offers concrete guidance for working with fear, public speaking anxiety, and self-doubt through examining what story you tell yourself and engaging creatively rather than reductively with your actual capacities. Addressed to practitioners exploring applied Buddhist psychology rather than beginners.
File metadata (for organising)
File: 12 BwB.mp3
UUID: f81884b8-47a8-4458-abe1-0a9c105c3a6a
Teacher: Batchelor
Collection: Buddhism without beliefs (Batchelor)
Recorded at: Buddha House Adelaide
Words: ~2,825
Repeat what we thought before. But I would say if we creatively engage with our thought, actually, we can have amazing thought, really creative thought. And that’s what I find when I am writing. I just do have to think a little about something, and then I let it be. And then I sit down, and just as I write, Things just they just kind of, in a way, kind of create themselves, maybe you could say.
Because I don’t have anything prepared, I don’t kind of, you know, think. I just kind of, you know, go with it and see what happened. Where does it leave me? As you know, in a creative engagement, I think there is more of that openness. There is more of that possibility to move.
I wanted to talk about self, but I don’t have much time. But just a little to look in term of arising and ceasing, and in term of no self and grasping, to see that a lot of the time, what we do is that we grasp at one of the condition that form us. Instead of see the seeing the whole array of condition that forms us, often we grasp at just one bit of the experience. So you have all these condition arising. But because we grasp just as one, then we cannot see in a way the multidimensionality of our being.
And as soon as we grasp just that one condition, then we actually again exaggerate or proliferate. So for example, we might we might grasp at just a thought, a word which is in our mind. I should be that way. They must do this. Interesting.
When you grasp at this, I must, I have to, I should. How generally, again, there is tension because there is, again, exaggeration. And in a way to play with that creative engagement, we have what we call our inner language, is to see, can I change my inner language? Can I make it less tense? Can I make it less tight?
And again, with more openness, more flexibility. Or again, as I said, we might just, in a way, reduce ourselves to just one thought. For example, you might think you might have done something stupid. And instead of thinking, this was a silly thing to do, I made a mistake, You start to think, I am stupid. I am always stupid.
This is generally the way it goes. I cannot do anything right. And then you feel really stuck. Instead of saying, oh, yes, you know, this was not a good idea. What was my mistake?
What can I do instead? What can I learn from making this mistake? Or sometime we, in a way, grasp, reduce ourselves to one emotion. You might reduce yourself to fear when one is very afraid. That was very interesting for me because I used to be very afraid of the dark.
And then one day I asked my teacher, Master Kusan in Korea, what can I do? I’m so afraid of the dark at night. And he said, just ask your question. In Korea, you just ask a question. What is this?
So that’s what I well, I thought first it was like a magic word would protect me for anything bad out there. Until I did it a few times, and what he did, asking what is this, was actually to bring me back to this moment where actually I so far away from anywhere. Who would know I was here to come and get me? And so, in a way, it’s a gift of the present. And I know when we talk about the present, it doesn’t mean that we want to solidify the present.
We don’t want to grasp at the present. We want to creatively engage with the present, but when you’re lost in the emotion, actually, you go a bit a bit away from the present. Unless you are in a fearful situation, then it is different. But a lot of the time, we’re afraid for no reason at all. It is in a way just a feeling we cannot grasp at and exaggerate and proliferate with.
And also, we can grasp at just a physical attribute. I am tall. I am small. I mean, some people are tall, some people are small. I am small.
And I could grasp at the fact that I am small. But in my family, I am the tallest. So I don’t think I am small. Only when I’m next to somebody small and I think tall and I think, oh, yes. You know, I’m a bit short.
Maybe they could get me this out there. So in a way to see, do I? In a way grasp at one physical attribute, and then actually through exaggeration. Maybe one space, one nose, one hair, or whatever it is. To see that as soon as we grasp at something, we reduce our potential to be creatively engaged with it in that moment. Or we might grasp at a quality.
I’m a good person. I’m a bad person. This is very important to see. The goodness and the badness is not intrinsic to anybody. As the Buddha says, it arise upon condition, it ceases upon other condition.
Of course, you might be have more of a tendency to be a good person or a bad one. But it doesn’t mean that you will always be good or always be bad. I remember in the time when Margaret Thatcher was prime minister. Someone once we were in a group of people talking, and this is what’s happening when we are in America too nowadays, and somebody’s saying, Margaret Thatcher, she is evil. And I could not accept that.
I could I thought, well, you know, maybe she had, you know, destructive idea, but she’s not evil, like the whole thing about her was not evil. Nobody can just be evil or good or simply. Again, it arise. That’s why the Buddha was trying to tell us. It arise upon condition.
Dissolve upon other condition. And so in a way to be careful to grasp at any one quality in ourselves. But how can we creatively engage with our good quality or our destructive negative quality? And so in a way, with this creative engagement, to see that I think it is an exploration. You know, I think the grasping is not that, you know, I’m not going to stop grasping.
I think there is a whole range of certain thing we grasp more, certain thing we grasp less. Sometime we feel when you feel very peaceful, very happy, it’s very easy not to grasp. When you feel very unhappy, very tired, it will be easier to grasp. I think it’s again to see the grasping again depend often on the condition. So in a way to to see how how can I, during this retreat, creatively engage with whatever I come into contact with, with all of the conditions that forms me?
And through that creative engagement, that playing with it, playing with the grasping of it, releasing of it, the creative engagement, you know, experiencing the difference. What I would call this being tight, being kind of reduced to being stable, being open. And I remember long ago, what I would call my early career as a teacher. I we were in America in California, and Jack Kornfield had just given a talk, and very kindly, he let us kind of talk a little about a weekend we are going to do. And it was the first time I’d been in front of so many people.
It was a it was Jack, so there was about at least three hundred people for an evening talk. And I was sitting there, and I was supposed to say something, and I could not say a word whatsoever. And then Stephen had to take over, of course. And why was I unable to say a word? Because I was grasping at three hundred people.
I have never talked in front of three hundred people. So I grasped at that number, I exaggerated it, I proliferated with it, and I was paralyzed. I could not say anything. And then the thing happened and then I left. And then I thought, this is very this is not good.
But this is not good for a woman. I was not a good example here. I let the women’s side down. And I thought, I cannot do this again. I thought this, I cannot do this again.
And it was interesting, this creative engagement, because I thought, okay, now I won’t do this again. Basically because I saw, you know, how I had grasped and how that blocked me. And in a way, I decided I won’t do this again. So sometimes we think that non grasping is very difficult. Sometimes I would say it is not.
Because that day, I really thought, I’m not going to do this. No matter what happen, I will say something. However many people there will be. And then two days later, after I made this decision, a friend of mine said, oh, we somebody cannot come. They’re ill.
Can you replace her? This is for a big conference in California. You’re going to speak in front of six hundred people. Can you do this? I said, of course.
And I went, and I did my spiel, and it went fine. You know? And when I came out, I said to my friend, oh, by the way, I never did this before. And I could see for one second, I you know, if she had not been able to, it would have been awful. And then the guy, ah, at least she was okay.
But to me, it was interesting. Just sad to see that by the grasping, you totally reduce your potential. And with the creative engagement, things just, in a way, happen on their own. We can, in a way, open up to our potential. So that’s what I wanted to say today.
Are there any questions or comments? Could you have been grasping to the idea that you wouldn’t do that again? Well, again, no. No. This is, you know, this is a good question.
But you see, to me, this is a difference with grasping and creative engagement. Grasping would make me tense. So, you know, grasping if I grasp at the idea, I must all you know, I must be able to say something no matter what. But in a way, it must be good or whatever. Generally, grasp at some aspect of it.
But personally, the way I see it now is I see what happen. You know? I will prepare a bit, and then I will see what happen. Because generally, what I found is that if I prepare a bit, and then I just come, then it can happen. But of course, if I grasp at the idea, I must do it in this way, then yes.
Like, if if, for example, if I had this idea, I must be able to talk like Stephen, then this would be a bad idea. But I really have a different style, you know, and I could never have this memory. I could never remember lists or, you know, kind of remember all kind of I can’t. I don’t have that kind of memory. I don’t have that this kind of philosophical thinking.
But if I want to yeah. If I wanted to give a philosophical discourse, then, you know, I think it would be a very bad idea. I could try. But you see, so to me, in a way, yes, one could grasp, but generally to see what would be the difference. And that’s what I want you to explore.
What is the difference? How can I know the difference between grasping? Let it be at a good thing or a bad thing, and being creatively engaged with it. And to me, the difference would be in this tension. In the tension and in the reduction, reduction, I would say.
And the creative engagement in this, what I would call, this openness. This kind of often you will say something you’ve never thought before. And often that’s my experience sometime. I have I give a talk and suddenly I have an idea I have never had before. And then I I just see it and then I say, oh, yeah.
This is a good idea. And then I use it again later on. And and and so that’s what the difference I would see. But, yes, I could see. It’s it’s a fine line.
It it kinda want us to kind of play with it. This kind of grasping and this. Well, I think the first when there is difficulty of that nature, when there is fear, the first thing to see is what do I tell myself? Is it a fear because somebody is standing there with a gun? And yes, I would say that’s fair enough to to be afraid.
I mean, once we were with in South Africa, there was a herd of buffalo, you know, and they look a little dangerous. And we were a little afraid. And I think this is fair enough to be afraid there. But if that’s what the first thing is to see. When there is a fear, is it what I would call a reasonable fear?
Is it because something at this moment is dangerous, is frightening, is threatening. If it is, then one act accordingly. But if there is nothing threatening, then what is very important, for example, actually in public speaking is to say, what am I telling myself to make myself afraid of it? Because often we tell ourselves, I must be a good speaker or I must speak as well as that person or I will never be able to express this in the way I want it to be. First, we have to be careful with comparison with other people.
And secondly, comparison with an idea we have. And to me, that’s what I I meant by double vision. The ideal speaker, the ideal person. And in a way to go back from other person, ideal person and back to in a way creatively engage with, if I have to speak, what is it that I can reasonably talk about? How can I reasonably prepare before doing it?
And can I also not grasp at the result? And to me that’s why I’m relatively relaxed when I give a talk because I think, okay, if I give a terrible talk, so be it. You know, this I don’t think will be the end of the world. Because it’s only forty five minutes and the rest of the time you can meditate. It’s not like, you know, I am talking all the time.
You see, what it’s kind of Of course, then you could say, well, I have to make a presentation in order maybe to sell your project or to sell yourself. But again, if you it will be terrible, that generally blocks you. At the same time, if you think, well, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes that doesn’t work either. So personally, would say, what are your condition?
To have a certain level of preparation, to have a certain level of being careful with what you tell yourself about. I can never do this, try it out. And sometimes people are so shy, they cannot do it. So then I would say, they have to try on one person just for five minutes. In a way, one has to that’s what I mean by creative engagement.
It’s from creative engagement, you have a creative response. You engage with the present situation. You play with it. But of course you could have had a bad experience. So how can you play with it?
How can you look inside yourself, outside? How can you play with the different elements? And not reduce yourself to just one of the element. That would be what I would say creative engagement. Is that you don’t just reduce yourself to one of the element.
We have many different capacity, many different ability, but we’re not all the same. So what we have to see, how can I do this? How can I work this out? What would be the least I could do instead of thinking, okay, now I’m going to give a two hour talk on emptiness. You know?
But maybe one could say a few ten minutes on meditation on the breath or whatever it might be. I think again to see. But again, back to the middle way. That’s what I would say today. Okay.
So thank you very much. Now there is walking meditation before the last sitting.